Marriage and Kids...Are They For You?

My stepfather's birthday was on Sunday, and ever since I was a little girl he was the Virgo in my life (good thing AND bad thing, lol--we butt heads a lot, but I did learn a lot about our sign). He was asking me about my relationships (which I know freaks him out, because they always think of me as the shy little bookworm who used to stay in her room when I was home, and read, as an adolescent) and I told him I kept having the bad luck of running into Pisces men no matter how hard I tried to avoid them. He laughed, and I could hear how happy he was that I was finally taking to astrology (I denied it for most of my life, as it seemd laughable...until I started dating and learned how to recognize Cancer men and their antics, Taurus men, etc.) He told me "Pisces are our opposites! And opposites attract! Trust me, there are good Pisces men out there, they're just not as loud and show off as the fish in bad extremes".

I sighed, said, "I guess so...but I want a Taurus!" and he was so delighted to hear that I have been reading up so much on the signs.

Anyway, there was the question of kids and marriage, and if I want them...and I swear...for the life of me? I don't really care.

Like, I was never that little girl pretending to play house, or thinking about her wedding--the idea, quite frankly, scares the sh.it outta me. It's all a matter of giving myself over to someone so completely that if they screw up it automatically changes my whole life, and the life of any children we bring into it! And...(O_O)!!!! Omg, I have panic attacks thinking about it...

Yeah...I don't know if I'd ever...

*shivers in fright*

I know Virgos like their independence...are you the same way?

I love kids; however, one of my roommates once told me that I look like the "cool aunt" rather than the mother type. Ironically my other virgo roommate, a second decan I think, is completely the mothering type. She's always working with kids. I do want to be a mother some day, but I do not believe I can be a mother to more than two kids. The thought of trying to raise that many people terrifies me. And I really want to get my career set before I go off and start a family. I am intensely terrified of getting pregnant right now; like I can have panic attacks about it and considering I am sexually active, I do freak out about it somethings. I would never allow my partner to have sex with me UNLESS he had a condom on, even if I'm on birth control. I'm terrified of losing control, of not being in control of my life anymore when I really need to be right now. I need to get my self together, to have a career, to finish my education, to get a house. I'm too young and too inexperienced to be a mother right now. And there are parts of me that are afraid I won't do the right things when raising a child.

All in all, I want kids, but not for a long time. Not until I'm truly okay within myself to be a mother and have a family. Also ironically, I don't want to kids when I'm pushing 40, either.

I also thikn I want to work on my relationships with men before I start having kids. Marriage to me is something I don't necessarily want, but I do want to be with someone for an extended period of time. I could always change my mind, but I find marriage to be too much of a hassle. I like the idea of co-habiting. My mother was never married, so that probably has an impact on my decision, but it could always change if the right person comes along. However, I still see myself with someone for a long time (5+ years) before I say "yes" to "will you marry me?".

I can NEVER figure out people who have like 4 kids and up...I mean, if they're doing their thing--being a good parent, I admire them and all, but yeah...I'm visiting to say wussup...then I'm OUT! lol

I have only met 3 guys I would not have minded having a baby by, and only 1 of those 3 were marriage material for me.

Past that 1 guy I felt I could marry, I've never felt compelled to marry anyone else. He still scares me, because I can't figure out why I thought we'd make a good couple and a good pair of parents together.

Yes. They are for me.

Awww 🙂 How many kids do you want (do you have?) Amandus?

And, if you don't mind sharing, are you married?

I remember when I was browsing wedding dresses (online only, lol--just out of curiousity) and it was such a great feeling, one that I never could have imagined I'd feel. Maybe it's just deep down inside, that feeling to want to marry, and most guys don't stir 'em up.

One thing I know, I'd love a little girl--and if I ever do have kids, I'll be everything to them my mother wasn't to me.

I'm only 18 and still not finished with puberty. DyTryin said I looked 12. Only the people who've known me long enough in my personal life believe I look my own age. xD

I want to be in love and married down the road with 2-3 mutts.

I'm the 2nd son (also the shortest and now officially youngest looking son) of 4 siblings in a family of 6 in a household of now 5.

Awww, no worries--I'm sure a lot of us in this section look eerily younger than they are

I'll be 31 next week, and I can't buy WINE COOLERS in the dang supermarket without being asked for ID. I'm like "Dude! WINE COOLERS!" they made me march back to my car to get my damn license.

Hahaha take that as a compliment! You're going to still look fabulous when you're 50. Although, it is funny you got carded for "breakfast beer" (that's what my friend calls it).

I'm pretty sure I'll be a cat lady even if I'm in a relationship. A man must be okay with my obsession with cats for us to get married.

Heh I will probably end up a bachelor for most of my life with no kids. All is good!

Posted by VirgoHero
Heh I will probably end up a bachelor for most of my life with no kids. All is good!

Be careful, that's how life GETSYA! LOL!

It's the equivalent of saying "let's split up" in a horror movie.

You gonna get got, bruh!

I got dibs on you coming back by new years, talkin bout "finding the one to make little vheros with" LOL!!! 😛

Posted by Candeh15
Hahaha take that as a compliment! You're going to still look fabulous when you're 50. Although, it is funny you got carded for "breakfast beer" (that's what my friend calls it).

I'm pretty sure I'll be a cat lady even if I'm in a relationship. A man must be okay with my obsession with cats for us to get married.

YOU TOO— LOL, although yeah--one cat is enough for me.

I so miss my cat, she was 12 when I had to put her down a few years ago. And, get this! She was a Virgo too!! LOL!

Omg, the fights we had, but damn we loved the hell out of each other, and she understood my "leave me alone" moods, and my "I need to be cheered up" moods as well.

I like puppies but when they're someone ELSE'S, lmfao. They're adorable as all get out, but the smell...lord the smell...especially when they're wet—

But animals and all aside...I just can't see me cooking day in and out for a family. I mean, I know me, I HATE change but I do adapt very quickly/well, so I'm sure I'd just pick it up like second nature, but ugh! Just the thought of it now, as in right now in my life? Yeah...no...

Posted by CLCNY30

Posted by Candeh15
Hahaha take that as a compliment! You're going to still look fabulous when you're 50. Although, it is funny you got carded for "breakfast beer" (that's what my friend calls it).

I'm pretty sure I'll be a cat lady even if I'm in a relationship. A man must be okay with my obsession with cats for us to get married.

YOU TOO— LOL, although yeah--one cat is enough for me.

I so miss my cat, she was 12 when I had to put her down a few years ago. And, get this! She was a Virgo too!! LOL!

Omg, the fights we had, but damn we loved the hell out of each other, and she understood my "leave me alone" moods, and my "I need to be cheered up" moods as well.

I like puppies but when they're someone ELSE'S, lmfao. They're adorable as all get out, but the smell...lord the smell...especially when they're wet—

But animals and all aside...I just can't see me cooking day in and out for a family. I mean, I know me, I HATE change but I do adapt very quickly/well, so I'm sure I'd just pick it up like second nature, but ugh! Just the thought of it now, as in right now in my life? Yeah...no...

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I had two cats, but the youngest was hit by a car and killed almost two years ago. Although great news! The vet my cat Gabby goes to just asked my mother if she wanted to adopt a six week old kitten named zoe so that Gabby would have a friend. My mother texted me and asked how I felt. I was just like. "ummm... YES." lol

I couldnt' be a house wife. I always need to be on the go or I become too restless. I imagine I'd be the mother with the job but who still finds time to be home with my family. As LONG as I have the job. I to have an issue with cooking day in and out considering I'm sometimes too lazy to cook for myself haha.

Awww! I'm sorry to hear about the accident, Jesus...
It's so hard to explain to those who don't (or never did) have pets the bond you feel, and when something like that happens (-_-)

Awww--share pics of the kitten when you get it! 🙂 I stay on the icanhascheezburger site, cooing when I'm stuck on the phone at work, LOL. Always brings a smile to my face.

I dated a guy a few years ago who seemed adament on making me his Mrs. I didn't share the feeling.
I wanted to go back to school, and he'd smirk. I was also unemployed at the time, and looking for work and he'd pinch my cheeks when I'd speak of going back to work after my break (God I needed that break...)

So anyways, I found the current job I'm at now, and he wasn't happy at all. One day I called him on it, and he said,

"Go ahead, have your fun now (fun? iz you nuts, fool? It's WORK) but I hope you know that I expect you to be at home, taking care of the kids once that ring is on your finger"

Bad...move...

I won't go into detail on all I said, but he cried on the phone a few weeks later, after I ignored his phone calls (he was a Cancer). I felt bad for him being in pain, but don't EVER try to control me. No matter who I marry, whether he's filthy rich or just another blue/white collar worker, I'm always going to hold my own. There are too many women out there depending too much on their man's money so that when that man is no longer there, they're running around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to make dough. I always want to be able to know that, should something happen, I'll still be okay.

Awwww... I can see where you are coming from. I also wouldn't enjoy that. And it's not just the control, but the thought of settling into something so seemingly permanent when I'm not ready is so scary. I don't know... I really do want the family one day, but I can't see myself in such a traditional one, you know what I mean?

I know 100%

And to be honest, it's a lot of people I know my own age, and even a little younger.

I think it's the struggle they saw their parents going through that makes them feel like they'd be stuck in a bad place if they rushed into it.

The right partner for life for me would allow me my need for space, as well as be nurturing, and not be trying to control (nor WANT to be controlled, I love a strong man). It seems easy, and simple, but the journey to finding him is scary as hell; it's amazing some of the guys that think all women are Girls Gone Wild minded (in terms of airheaded bimbo type) chicks--when they discover you have a brain and can see right through their sh.it, they want to get angry, lmfao. It's just too much.

For now? I am SO enjoying coming home to my own things, cleaning up my own messes, and being able to visit nieces and nephews, and GTFO when I get a headache, LOL.

I would love to start a family. I would like to have three kids. However right now at the age of 24 I don't want any kids! Right now I am trying to get my life in order and I do not believe that children should be brought into chaos when they are already chaos themselves.

I will admit that growing up I was never the mother to any of my baby dolls and thinking about a wedding is something that has just started as I have gotten older. But all of those things for me I hope wont start to happen until I am 30. I feel like that at 30 I will be more mentally prepared to really care for another. I hope to have a husband and be preparing for the things that marriage brings.

Smart cookie, Lovelyleo 😉

I want a baby boy and a baby girl and a dime wife and a chocolate labrador ^____^

Awwww!!! Yes, I can definitely see that. That's probably what it will take for me...if it ever gets there, lol.

Posted by CasperChief117
I want a baby boy and a baby girl and a dime wife and a chocolate labrador ^____^

LOL! You got the whole plan panned out, eh? 😉 How close are you to attaining it?

Posted by CLCNY30

Posted by CasperChief117
I want a baby boy and a baby girl and a dime wife and a chocolate labrador ^____^

LOL! You got the whole plan panned out, eh? 😉 How close are you to attaining it?

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Ha. Well. I have a dog.

Posted by VirgoHero
Heh I will probably end up a bachelor for most of my life with no kids. All is good!

High five!

Whenever I think about it, marriage really doesn't seem to suit me... *cringe*

i've always felt neutral about marriage but i would if it was important to my SO.

traditional, domestic life is favorable for me so long as i strike a balance. i have a kid and would only want 1 more if it goes that way. i need to be able to work some, even if it was a part-time gig, and i need to have a little time to pursue and work on projects dear to my heart. my days will be full, and they pretty much are as it is, but it works for me.

i didn't have much of a family but i love the concept of one. it delights me to have the option of forming my own.

Posted by Cajunspirit

Posted by VirgoHero
Heh I will probably end up a bachelor for most of my life with no kids. All is good!

High five!

Whenever I think about it, marriage really doesn't seem to suit me... *cringe*

click to expand

I second. That motion LOL

I'm tellin you, this time next year--all you Virguys are gonna be in here posting your engagement bands as profile pics, LOL!!!

You're jynxing yourselves!!! Rule #1--never say never! Cuz that's when it'll happen! 😛

LMFAOOOOO

Posted by CLCNY30
I'm tellin you, this time next year--all you Virguys are gonna be in here posting your engagement bands as profile pics, LOL!!!

You're jynxing yourselves!!! Rule #1--never say never! Cuz that's when it'll happen! 😛

Virguys have a reputation to uphold, Bachelor's of the Zodiac!

Holla!

Nah, ya'll ain't the only bachelors of the zodiac, LOL--there are others.

^ um, hello fellow libran. i didn't find anything rude about her comment. we live in a world where it's damned hard to find a good partner and get married and raise a family. it's super easy to just stay single. it makes sense to wish luck to the people who are at a disadvantage. doesn't it?

personally, i used to not want kids at all. and i wasn't sure about whether i wanted to marry, but i definitely wanted a serious long-term partner, which is typical of libras. since then, i've noticed how much i love kids, and what a good mom i'd be. i just hate babies. they're gross and loud and ugly, especially newborns. now, i think it would be worth it. it doesn't last very long, and if it's yours maybe it doesn't seem as ugly and annoying. that's what my libra aunt said about changing her mind when she got pregnant by accident. all of a sudden, she got maternal instincts and wanted a family, and she's such an amazing mother. and if i'm gonna put my body through having one, i may as well have a football team. i wouldn't try to have a lot, but i wouldn't try not to either.

but i also don't want to have kids unless i find the perfect partner for me and to raise a family with. so i might not ever have any. i'd never settle down with the wrong person. maybe when i'm older i'd be willing to settle, but if i settled, i wouldn't be willing to bring children into that. children deserve to be raised by people who love one another.

y'all really should be careful saying you want to be bachelors forever. i used to say i was in the vhemt (voluntary human extinction movement, ie people who never want to have any kids). i've since totally changed my mind. if y'all meet and fall for the right person, you'll probably change your minds too.

Posted by VirgoHero
Heh I will probably end up a bachelor for most of my life with no kids. All is good!

I'll join you, let me dump my fiance. We virgos belong alone.

Everyone can't be with out, so we should stay without them. 😉

Posted by Cajunspirit

Posted by VirgoHero
Heh I will probably end up a bachelor for most of my life with no kids. All is good!

High five!

Whenever I think about it, marriage really doesn't seem to suit me... *cringe*

click to expand

*High fives the five master*

Posted by virgoking


Whenever I think about it, marriage really doesn't seem to suit me... *cringe*

I second. That motion LOL



😉 *high fives all the virgos on here who are single*

Honestly, I laugh when people get pissed about Virgos and their lonely tendencies. I use to find Gemini\'s and Pisces trying to manipulate me and telling me that I am stupid for being a loner. I never complained or mention the women i was into because they would attack me to ask them out on a \"date\" rather than say, \"cool story\". They often thought I had problems because i wouldn\'t connect to somebody in these intimacy sort of social standards, but who is it for them to judge me when they were jumping the gun on all the dicks or vagina\'s and suddenly find the \"one\" as soon as they realized all the women getting pregnant and/or fat, and the men are balding and growing beer belly\'s. I really didn\'t care because i had my decisions, and i still don\'t find these standards to be stressed, but they should be given to allow people to remain single by choice, and if i were to be influenced or to gain motivation it was on my own \"sake\" not on the peer pressure these idiots would irritate me with on a daily basis.

I find it irritating enough to say it is, but i can still say, \"regardless of your meddling, I choose to be with whoever it is i want to be with at any moment at any time, so fuck off!\"