Please help me to understand

Hi everyone..
Im so confused with this Virgo man I dont know what to do! I met him 3 months ago, he came after me since the first day we met but at the time I just wasn t interested...
Then I started to notice him and well now i am deeply in love with him.
We go out with our group of friends once a week, and that day with the help of the alcohol he opens up a bit and give me huge hints that he reaaly likes me, even the rest of our friends they tell me that is evident. BUT at the end of the night he always turns really nasty towards me, insulting me, telling me that he is not for me,that i am inmature just because I dont give him what he wants.
Next time we see each other is like nothing has happened !
I told him that i like him, im always by his side..in this situations I just listen to him and try to calm him down, but lately he is just having no respect for me so I told him that I can take anything except his lack of respect for me.
I just dont know how to handle the situation.....i love him, i know he likes me and i know he is scared to death of having a serious relationship with me. Yesterday he told me that in the future i could be a big problem for him ( if he falls in love, he says that for the moment he is not) ( ——)
But he is not closing doors he keeps looking for me and asking my best friend about me .
When he is drunk he gets mad at me because he wonders why we dont go out any other day, but a couple of times I have asked him out he just rejects me.
I dont understand.
I must say that he works in a pub next to our pub, proffessional relationships are very important to him, we work in the same bussiness, have the same friends etc. I have asked him many times why is he chosing me , why he attacks me when there are so many fishes in the sea, due to his work he can meet any girl in the world and not to mess things up like this ....in front of his work colleagues.
I need some serious advice please, im a capricorn by the way
Thank you

Cappie women can be very stand-off-ish, very wrong and strong and very demanding.

Perhaps he has been turned off by your initial rejections and stand-off-ish nature and no longer wishes to pursue.

It would be up to you in this case to take all the initiative and get him back on likable terms, the odds of this being successful though are.... minimal.
Sounds like it is too late to me.

He sounds like a drunk to me. Nothing more nothing less. A guy who turns nasty after having a drink is a guy with a problem. Avoid if you want to keep your self respect.

Crazydiamond 63, I think you might be right. He analyze everything and so do i.Its true that this behaviour is only when he is drunk. Sometimes I go to his bar for a quick coffee and he gets so nervous he cant articulate a single word.
I??ll try to leave serious talking apart ( but is him who always starts!!) and we??ll see.
Thank you for your comments!

How about spending time doing things that does not involve drinking?

I wish i could meet him during the day but we work all day and we only have few ours at midday....and I am too shy to ask him out at midday ( we are in our 30??s haha)
I have realized that he is like that when he gets jealous, we dont have a relationship but we behave as a married couple!!
Also, the only time when he opens up is whith a bit of alcohol....he keeps telling me that he is not good for me, that Im a good person and he is not , that he did many mistakes in his life,blabla bla, ....then when I tell him : Ok I understand, thats a nice way to say that you dont want me, then he quickly take his steps back and begin to get confused and to talk nonsense.
God, I??ve never met someone soooo complicated!!! Its so easy to say things straight!!
Apparently he has many problems and I just want to help him, to change his life style , I know he is willing to do it, problem is both of us are very defensive with each other......We are going to need PATIENCE, loads of it!

Shaka_laka_boomboom i??ve sent you a PM, any comments are welcome! Thank You

The Virgo Guy I've been talking about drinks.. Like enjoys drinking alot.
Like constantly wants a drink. -_________________-;

I know he drinks a bit, he finishes his shift at midnight and he always goes for a drink before going home which I understand, but if he finds someone on his way home willing to have another one he would stay.
I??ve asked all our friends, because some of them saw his behavior, and they??ve told me that they never saw him like that, apparently is only with me.

They all say that he really likes me and because I am so defensive he gets frustrated and his way of letting me know is that one. I dont know ...I think if you really like someone you try to show a better picture of yourself, but then again I dont know. i am a bit like that as well, when I like someone I show him bad things about me....if you can put up with those things ....the rest will be perfect!!

Except for the last moments of the night, when he turns this way.....he is really caring, he is always taking care of me and controlling me in a way. He wants to have sex and because I reject him I think he goes mad.

There was this time, he was really insisting and when I said no he began to say horrible things, I left but he came after me. he turned up in my bar ( I live there) it was 10 am already, and started shouting in the middle of the bar saying that nobody rejects him and so on.He was making a fool of himself,this is a small village and he is always so concerned about his image....

I find it difficult to understand why he is doing this to me, he knows i like him. We work 10 mts away from each other,we have the same friends and one of them she is my best friend...I asked him why me...there's so many girls around, he works in a bar where he can meet thousands of girls.

My friend she doesnt want to get involved in this and she's not helping me at all, the only thing she told me is that she is aware that he likes me a lot but he is really scared about a serious relationship, apparently he has many personal problems.

Maybe is his way to push me away, even if likes me?

Last Friday he told me: " you know? Today I had a chance to flirt with a girl, but I didnt do it because of you,I didnt want to hurt you..."

So Im thinking that he doesnt dare to tell me straight away what he really thinks and he is behaving like that so I can walk away without asking any questions...

Aghhhhhhhhhhh , i just dont know!!!!

I??ve read many things about Virgo men, but everywhere is said that they are shy, loving, caring.....nothing like this.

He loves playing chess, he is quite good at

he is quite good at it, another friend of mine who is always witnessing this behavior tells me" If you knew how to play chess you would understand what he is trying to tell you" Like he is telling me the opposite of what he means....
Too complicated for me, but I really love this guy.
Any help?

Posted by DyTryin

Shaka: PM me if you like

You slut!

Turn in your Man Card!!

What's so bad about private messages? I have a few every now and then, don't you?

I don't know what bothers me more ......


1. that girls think assholes are keepers, or

2. that other people counsel the girls on how to get him

The guy is slime .... and you think he's worth all your energy and focus .... you want him, and have no clue that he isn't worth the want




That is very disturbing to me .... it always is everytime a girl does this .. which is all the time ... once she has feelings, she is completely blind to reality

Posted by P-Angel

...once she has feelings, she is completely blind to reality.

Yea. My sister. I didn't like that she was sneaking out often at 2 AM in the morning to be with him. I called her out on it--told her what they were doing is dishonest--that she was either ashamed or that he had something to hide. She thought otherwise--tried to rationalize that some people weren't ready to know. And I left it at that and waited for her to see herself.


Needless to say she wasn't in the best of moods a few days later...

Yeah, maybe you are right p-Angel. I think I may be just obsessed.