question for phoenix_rising

Hi, I am new here and was reading some of your posts and figured you was pretty level headed. I am a Virgo and I have a Scorpio friend. Her and I have know each other for a few years. But here lately we have gotten closer to each other. We are both married and female. We click so well. I am scared because I think I am developing feelings for her. I am not lesbian but just can't stand being without her around. The other day I went to her house and we talked and watched t.v. When she dropped me off we were talking about how much we clicked and then she mentioned something about soul mates. ( I questioned her later on this and she said she didn't remember saying that). When we got to my place I gave her a hug and she responded back very easily. Then she caught me with those hypnotic eyes of hers. I felt like I wanted to kiss her but came to and didn't. When I got out she was nervously rubbing her outer thigh. I couldn't figure out what that really meant. Was she nervous? Knew I was under her spell? or was just anxious for me to go? I don't know. I hope she isn't playing games. I have never felt like this before and I don't know whether I should say something or just try and ignore it. I know she is fond of me and respects me but I don't want to lose a friendship. I hope phoenix rising that you can help me with this. This is quite awkward for me as I am not use to posting something like this.

Hey Vulcan, nice to meet you.

Hmmm, it sounds like a murky situation, meaning that it's hard to tell exactly what's truly going on since probably neither of you is comfortable bringing up the topic to the other. First of all realize that no matter why you're feeling what you're feeling and no matter what societal labels you're afraid would be attached to them, your feelings are your feelings so there is no reason to be ashamed of them. That doesn't necessarily mean that you should tell her about them just yet, though (or ever). I'm thinking that the only way to get to the bottom of what it is you're feeling for her is to ask yourself the next time you're in her presence whether you are sexually attracted to her, or emotionally attracted to her. Your body will let you know if there is an actual sexual attraction. Your mind and soul will let you know if it's purely emotional. And if it does turn out to be sexual, don't panic. Remember, you don't have to announce anything to her. She never has to know, unless you want her to (and you never know, she could be feeling all the same ways about you). Have you ever felt this way toward any other female? I can tell you that while I've not had any sexual feelings for other females, I've had great friendships with some and a very strong emotional bond with them. I think one way to tell would be to see if you are inclined to kiss her the next time you are with her. I would recommend against just outright doing anything physical until/unless you are absolutely sure of where she stands, first. And also, of course, you probably should try not to be disloyal to the husbands.

As hard a time we Scorpios get in astrology books for being so sexual, the majority of us don't use people just for fun or play with their minds simply for the fun of it, so my hope and feeling is that she's not just playing games (that would be a pretty intense game she's playing). There is a possibility that she was nervous or feeling the same way, etc with the thigh thing.

I think something safe for now would be to say "you know, I have such a strong bond with you, it's like we're soulmates" the next time you hang out with her. And just see how she reacts and what she says. I think with all of this, the thing to do is to take baby steps, sorting little bits of it out at a time. In the end, it may just be that it was a fleeting unexplainable feeling you had and you're just very, very good friends with her. But even if it's more than that, it's okay. Just make sure that whatever decisions you make, you're not hurting anyone else, and that ultimately you are fulfilling your heart's desires. Good luck my dear! Let me know how it goes.

Hi Phoenix rising,
Thank you so much for responding. I appreciate that. Also, I think you have a lot of wisdom on things.
I will do what you say in that I will take my time. She means a lot to me and I would not want to lose her either way. Besides, I am kind of a slow mover and I got the impression that she is too. Our friendship started out chit chatty and then gradually moved to deeper conversations. The thing is we agree on a lot of things. There is a definite connection, many times we have came up to each other thinking and saying the same things. A lot of times about life in general.
I should be truthful I have never felt this strongly about anyone before male or female. Nor have I ever had the "Hots" for anyone like this before. If it did get more on a physical level I don't think I would object or fight too much. She is so beautiful physically and has a real pretty face. She just has a way about her that I can not explain. But it is more than just that, she has a wonderful personality as well. All this attraction scares the hell out of me, Phoenix. I believe you are right when you was saying that Scorps get a hard time about being sexual and other things too. I have never had a lot of experience with Scorpios before and from what I have read they make them come off as ruthless, power hungry and agressive. She is very nice and sweet with an modest attitude. The only thing that I can see is she looks at things and people with an intensity. Also, when she speaks to you can tell that she means what she says and it is very directly. I guess with her body language too. But she just has a mild approach that you wouldn't think she would be agressive. I think Virgo's get a bad rap too. People think that we are critical and cold harded. Well, I have always been friendly to people and only cold when I thought someone done me wrong. As far as being critical goes, oh I can be if I choose too, but I don't like drama and I don't like to be critized myself so I am not going to go around and critize others even if I don't agree with them.
I think thing is too I actually like water signs, they are very nurturing mostly. I came up to her one day and I could tell she wasn't happy and before you knew it I had cheer her up. I had "calmed her waters" in return I was telling her that I was burned out on my job and was wondering if it was worth it. I have a tendency to keep going and going until I am running empty or dry. She stress the importance of what I was doing and it was very encouraging. It was like she provided "water" for me. I know I am sounding goofy but that is the effect we have on each other.
Well, Phoenix I will let you know later what happens and thank you again for taking the time to respond.

Also Phoenix,
was wondering since you are a Scorpio yourself. Are they really intuitive and psychic. I mean being able to read other people's mind and such. The reason I asked is that I am not an hard person to figure out. Was curious if she already knows what I'm thinking. Thanks! Nice meeting you too.
Vulcan

Vulcan, no problem, I like to help people who seem like genuine, nice people and who deserve it. 🙂 As far as Scorpios being intuitive, yes - very much so. I think one of the reasons that other people find Scorpios difficult to figure out is because we show a completely different "face" to the world that has nothing to do with what we are feeling internally (unless we really trust you, and then we let our guard down and let you "read" us a bit more easily). It's not that we're actors or actresses; it's more that we really are tremendously sensitive and this makes us tremendously vulnerable, so as a way to self-protect we put up a very strong invisible shield until we know we can trust you. It sounds to me like you two have a great connection, whatever it is, and she trusts you. As long as that trust isn't ever broken, it'll continue to be a great relationship. Speaking as someone who's known a fair share of Virgos, I usually find them to be very pleasant, honest people. Since honesty is one of the most important things with Scorpios, I'm sure that's one of the things she most likes about you. We like mystery, so don't feel the need to tell her every single thing right away, but we hate being lied to or having secrets kept from us much more than we like mystery. Wish ya the best of luck!

Hi Phoenix,
Thanks for the comments(blushing---I don't know where the smilies are at). I guess, what I worried about is the fact that I am pretty simple and to the point. That I lack mystery, she doesn't seem to be bored with me however. Sometimes, I think she feels that same way about herself and yet I find that she is totally fascinating.
But I have always been straight up with her.
As far as the desires go, I will try and cool it for now. I don't want to force myself on her. Besides we are both are kind of timid.
I just had a heart to heart talk with her on the phone tonight about my job situation and it was real nice. I waited all day long to just her about that(except for my husband) and told her that too. It was just a real nice conversation.
I just wanted to thank you again for what you wrote, I appreciate that. I am glad that you think that way of us Virgos. I have read some pretty nasty stuff about us and it made me sad to hear that.
Until next time.
Vulcan