should i wish him happy birthday?

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by j519oe on Sunday, August 24, 2014 and has 14 replies.

Should You Wish Him Happy Birthday After No Contact

Deciding whether to wish him happy birthday depends on your feelings and intentions. If you care and want closure or to reconnect, sending a simple message may be appropriate. If you feel indifferent or want to maintain distance, it is okay not to reach out. Consider your emotional boundaries before making a decision.

Profile picture of j519oe
@j519oe
12 Years

we don't talk anymore, he did this Lil disappearing act I guess so we don't talk. Now his birthday is in two days n he changed his chat name to his birthday. Now I'm wondering should I send him happy birthday. I'm really not feeling it n he probably might not respond anyway. But I do care n me myself I can't be spiteful. I know he put it out there n he probably knows I seen it. So idk if he is expecting a happy birthday but I'm wondering. If I should though. I really don't care too Cuz he's gonna get a lot of em anyway so he might not even notice.

Profile picture of SpinCycle
@SpinCycle
12 YearsPisces

Posted by j519oe
we don't talk anymore, he did this Lil disappearing act I guess so we don't talk. Now his birthday is in two days n he changed his chat name to his birthday. Now I'm wondering should I send him happy birthday. I'm really not feeling it n he probably might not respond anyway. But I do care n me myself I can't be spiteful. I know he put it out there n he probably knows I seen it. So idk if he is expecting a happy birthday but I'm wondering. If I should though. I really don't care too Cuz he's gonna get a lot of em anyway so he might not even notice.

If you did not care you would not be on here asking this question. I actually was asking myself the same thing about a Virgo I know and stopped speaking to. I am just going to leave it be. All it does is set myself up for disappointment when he does not reply. Or if he does reply expecting more than what is. So in order to keep my sanity I will not and keep it pushing. You need to look at it as what are you expecting to gain from it and will that gain be obtained....your call.

Profile picture of VirgoCupcake
@VirgoCupcake
12 YearsVirgo

Posted by SpinCycle

Posted by j519oe
we don't talk anymore, he did this Lil disappearing act I guess so we don't talk. Now his birthday is in two days n he changed his chat name to his birthday. Now I'm wondering should I send him happy birthday. I'm really not feeling it n he probably might not respond anyway. But I do care n me myself I can't be spiteful. I know he put it out there n he probably knows I seen it. So idk if he is expecting a happy birthday but I'm wondering. If I should though. I really don't care too Cuz he's gonna get a lot of em anyway so he might not even notice.

If you did not care you would not be on here asking this question. I actually was asking myself the same thing about a Virgo I know and stopped speaking to. I am just going to leave it be. All it does is set myself up for disappointment when he does not reply. Or if he does reply expecting more than what is. So in order to keep my sanity I will not and keep it pushing. You need to look at it as what are you expecting to gain from it and will that gain be obtained....your call.

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I am going. To wish my Virgo guy a happy birthday. I mean it is what it is, if you wanna tell someone u care about or once did happy birthday. I don't see the issue. Sometimes I feel like he might ignore it, but the anxiousness I'll fell after wards would drive me insane. Lol I think saying happy birthday is better than trying to think of something to say if u did wanna talk to him,

Profile picture of geminiloveleo
@geminiloveleo
13 Years

I say No. I had a Leo and he kept bringing up 'birthday' but no I couldn't. I feel that he's not in my life and we don't talk so no. you can't keep giving and being there for someone when they can reciprocate love, for whatever reason. you can have all of me but not bits and pieces.

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@tiki33
20 Years10,000+ Posts

+1 Geminiloveleo

Oh gosh the desperation is in the air...Why oh why won't women just mooooove on mentally and emotionally when it's over.

If you're not speaking to a person anymore why put so much effort and thought into a guy. If it's done let it be done.

The reason it reeks of desperation is because whether it's not your intention to open the door again it's exactly what you're doing.

Now the exception is if he's went out of his way to congratulate you on something and/or wish you a happy birthday then it's okay to reciprocate but if you haven't so much as said a hello in a long while it's common sense to keep communication closed unless you want him back in your life.

Profile picture of j519oe
@j519oe
12 Years

But I always showed him attention by randomly sending him nice pictures with sweet messages n he always liked that, we haven't talked in 2 weeks so I'm quite sure me not saying happy birthday won't bother him

Profile picture of SpinCycle
@SpinCycle
12 YearsPisces

Posted by tiki33
+1 Geminiloveleo

Oh gosh the desperation is in the air...Why oh why won't women just mooooove on mentally and emotionally when it's over.

If you're not speaking to a person anymore why put so much effort and thought into a guy. If it's done let it be done.

The reason it reeks of desperation is because whether it's not your intention to open the door again it's exactly what you're doing.

Now the exception is if he's went out of his way to congratulate you on something and/or wish you a happy birthday then it's okay to reciprocate but if you haven't so much as said a hello in a long while it's common sense to keep communication closed unless you want him back in your life.

Absolutely agree..... It was my own conclusion. Since I had no closure it would be almost like ripping off a band aide. I have no desire to be told why the cold shoulder...nor do I have the desired to be nice and it be ignored. Rather not bother "what if" at all.

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@tiki33
20 Years10,000+ Posts

Is he showing you attention j519? Is he reciprocating the same amount of attention back?

Or is this a one sided situation where you are always wishing him this and wishing him that and sending him pics and he's simply receiving what you're giving but doing nothing in so far as reciprocating?

If he's not giving you just as much attention or more then you're wasting your time and energy. He may feel it's nice when a woman thinks about him because what man wouldn't like the attention and sweet gestures but if he's not giving the same amount of energy and effort then what's the point of it all.

I don't recommend chasing a man because he'll run--he'll always be just out your reach but at the end of the day do what you wanna do....

Profile picture of j519oe
@j519oe
12 Years

Props to that answer! I love it! But I also sent him a message 2 weeks ago saying I needed to talk to him n no reply, then I had the best dream about him a couple of days ago n when I woke up this voice instantly told me to tell him! Told him no reply. So I say why send him, happy birthday then it makes me seem needy I guess

Profile picture of j519oe
@j519oe
12 Years

This randomly happened with him. I was just reading Virgos disappear when they need to get stuff together on their end. He never called it off he just disappeared n it's hard to read him so I stopped trying

Profile picture of tiki33
@tiki33
20 Years10,000+ Posts

If he dropped out of your life so easily why waste time on a man who will abandon you so easily?

He doesn't deserve the attention he receives for his poor behavior. You giving him more of you even when he's opted out is sending the wrong message...essentially you are saying to him that you will wait, you will give yourself to him even when he's done nothing to deserve having you and that is not the message you wanna send.

DO NOT REWARD A MAN FOR ABANDONING YOU because when you do reward him with more pics and more attention you are essentially telling him he can ignore you, he can abandon you and you will still be 100% all in even when he's done nothing to deserve that from you.

If he wanna go let him go. FYI he's called it off. He called it off when he disappeared on you, the very moment he abandoned the relationship it was over for him now it's time for you to catch up and get the message that it's done so you can move on.

And the next assclown that abandons the relationship cuss his ass out for being a coward sucker ass bitch and ditch his number forever.