Tips on how to ask out a Virguy?

Hello guys!

I was interested (and still am) in this Virgo guy that I saw at a convention a couple of days ago. He caught my attention like no other. He was very involved in the running of the event, and from watching him (I know I sound creepy, don't particularly care xD) he seemed like a very funny, very kind person. I was too nervous to say anything to him in person, but I was able to get his number off a friend of his that was there, and he encouraged me to make a move, especially since this dude is shy.

So I sent a message introducing myself, said I got his number from his friend, and that I wished I had talked to him at the event. I didn't say anything else, because I presumed he would pick up on the fact that I was interested; afterall, I am a complete stranger reaching out xD

I got no response. I was bummed, because I'm not boy-crazy, so I wanted to know what else about this guy caught my attention so raptly. But no big deal really, and I was content to move on.

But then his friend messaged me today (we're actually kind of good friends now too) asking if I had sent the dude a message. I told him the outcome, and he tried to persuade me to send another message, that this guy is just really shy. I told him I'd think about it.

I'm not sure if this is coming from just the friend or from the guy. But regardless, what would I say in a second message? Was I too forward in the first message, or not forward enough?

Thanks in advance for reading 🙂

you: hey, gimme your address I'mma bring roses and ask ya for a nice dinner. I'll wine and dine you.

him *flustered*: ummm... um.. ummm.... *heaving breathing* oh shit.. wow.. shit...

you: I like where this is going. I've got you cornered. now gimme you

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after the date, do whatever you like to him 😄

moral of the story: initiate and thicken your skin or befriend him when he's in his element. Work.

Ahaha so basically be even more forward. Got it 🙂

It's a good thing you and the friend have become such good friends, since you are obviously trying to have a 3-way relationship here.

3-way, as in

you

the Virgo

3rd person running beside of you holding a sign up giving you instruction

The reality here is, which seems to escape your mental capacity .... the Virgo has never communicated to you in any way that he is interested in you.

But, you just keep acting like he is talking, keep acting like he does like you ... because another person is saying so, and putting words in his mouth.

And you're running with these false words as if they are truth.

When you make a complete ass out of yourself by conveying to the Virgo that you went behind his back to try and twist him in your direction, which then he'll check you ... don't come crying in here, acting like you cannot figure out what happened.

Okay, thanks for the advice 🙂

What about............

"I think you're cute, but I dunno anything about you, drinks?"

I can never get over that hump with virguys. In middle school I would pass notes to him. Before high school started I moved before we could become girl friend and boyfriend. In high school I'm sure there were others like that. I had one only talk the talk but not walk the walk... I would tell him I was eating Chinese and he would respond "Chinese makes me horny..." Persistency wears off for me and before I know it I date fire signs.

The problem here is that women want to act like helpless damsels. They want to bat their eyes at a guy, and fully expect the guy to pursue.

I'm sure that is what happened in this case. You presumed that because he saw you look at him and smile at him .... that he will come chase you.

There's no other explanation for this.

I have no clue why you pretend as if he was ever interested in the first place. I get fully if you want to pursue, and you are attracted, and you want to call him or text him.

What I don't understand is your irrational expectation in him acknowledging you, based on an entirely different person speaking for him, in which he has no clue that this other person is talking for him.

And you fully believed that that was coming from the Virgo, you even reacted to the Virgo, as if the Virgo said those words to you.

I just don't get how you could age to 21, and not be aware of your surroundings

Posted by Gennie
What about............

"I think you're cute, but I dunno anything about you, drinks?"

I really like that; it's short and to the point. I just might use it. Thank you 🙂

Posted by zFlavor
@wallflower422

you do know virgo guy put his friend up to doing this, right?

I'm not going to lie, for a moment I wondered if that was really the case. But I don't like to deceive myself or give myself false hope, because I'd hate to embarrass myself xD. So I decided to believe that this encouragement was coming strictly from the friend. 🙂

But if it is as you said, I don't know if I want anything to do with a guy who has to tell his friend to goad me into talking to him more, rather than just replying directly to me :/

I have to agree to starting with a messenger is probably not your best opportunity to strike up a conversation. Particularly if he is, as you said, quite involved with the tasks surrounding running an event. He may not even had time to respond to such a message or paid attention to it.

I can't speak for anyone else but I've always found the best way to initiate contact to do so face to face in a direct and concise way. Cold starting conversations with any stranger can be difficult but being at the same event is good a way to break the ice.

Hello, my name is . I really enjoyed this and couldn't help noticing you were so passionate about it also. Maybe we could grab a drink or have dinner . Probably not with that exact narrative because you don't want to come off as robotic, but you get idea.

Posted by zFlavor
you know he could be a naturally shy guy with girls and need a bit of help. talking in person with his friend around would be the better choice here. it would kind of just break the ice a bit and nothing is wrong with that as i see it. its just easier in a group setting.

Yeah I would've liked to set something up so we can talk in person. But I don't want his friend around 😄

Posted by TMV
I have to agree to starting with a messenger is probably not your best opportunity to strike up a conversation. Particularly if he is, as you said, quite involved with the tasks surrounding running an event. He may not even had time to respond to such a message or paid attention to it.

I can't speak for anyone else but I've always found the best way to initiate contact to do so face to face in a direct and concise way. Cold starting conversations with any stranger can be difficult but being at the same event is good a way to break the ice.

Hello, my name is . I really enjoyed this and couldn't help noticing you were so passionate about it also. Maybe we could grab a drink or have dinner . Probably not with that exact narrative because you don't want to come off as robotic, but you get idea.

Wasn't trying to use a messenger. I only got the number off his friend, any advice from him about what to do or how to do it was unsolicited.

Yeah, I am still kicking myself for not approaching him at the event, but it's too late now. Either I make a move through message, or keep it moving. But, thanks for the advice 🙂