Virgoans and security :)

I'm officially intruiged and honestly a bit scared by vigoans. I think they're cool, funny as hell, well spoken, and real caretakers for the people in their inner circle 🙂
I read a lot about their personality, and allthough some traits scare me a little, my curiosity about knowing them on a deeper level, is keeping me intruiged and thirsty for more lol

I read that virgoans hold on and love security.
Taking it back to my virgo man, I can see it in little things, even litterally like closing the doors and checking them twice if not barricade it if he had to 😉 or when we have an appointment with friends he calls before the date if it still is a date.

For me as a Pisces I actually "need" security in my relationship, as in actions, showing affection or in words. I often want reassurance, that it's all still ok. I read virgoans want security in their relationships too, but how can I provide security for him, if emotions and feelings are giving him a rash?

What are the securities you virgoans need or want in a relationship, which we (in this case I) can provide?

I'm thinking it's about you as partner need to know that you're the only one? For me Pisces that's not hard at all. When we love, we love unconditionally, and will give you the world.

Security can be explained in loads of ways, so I want to know from you virgoans, what makes you secure in a relationship?

thnx 🙂

u haven't heard virgos have that ADT and brinks security lmfao.

ah time for a cigarette cuz I totally didn't get the clue LOL

My type of sercurity can change with my mood; most of the time, words are helpful. I like to be reassured when I am beginning to feel insecure or when I feel my significant other is pulling back. Actions are also important to me; I love touch, so when I'm starting to feel uneasy, something as simple as a hug can make my entire day. Security for me is simply knowing; without any idea of how things are, a boundary, a set plan, I start to feel uncomfortable and untethered. As fun as the freedom might be, I can hate it and I need to be reassured that things are okay.

It depends on the rest of their birthchart. I have leos and capricorns in my chart and I never lock the doors, and in fact my $ 1,200 electric bike is sittinng on my porch right now, maybe I should go check on it... meh. I think relationship security is way more important to most of us than material security and feeling safe. Idk about other virgos but I'm practically fearless, almost amused, in the face of danger, but I always have to know that me and my lover are on the same page constantly.

Posted by theonly764hero
Idk about other virgos but I'm practically fearless, almost amused, in the face of danger, but I always have to know that me and my lover are on the same page constantly.

I think that was what I was trying to get at. I can easily go off and do my own thing; I'm a bit of a free bird and very independent, but if I feel like we aren't on the same page, I get very uneasy because I am no longer in control of things.

@ theonly: His chart is Moon in Libra, Mercure in Libra and Venus in Virgo, dunno if you need more lol
being on the same page constantly I understand but that's almost impossible (you most perfectionistic sign 😉 )you have 2 different personalities with different opinions, you can come close to eachother, and maybe sometimes an opinion will turn your way...Oh wait I think I get you...

@Candeh: You think words are reassuring? I thought virgoans will read between the lines, and analyze them before even trust you on words. I thought actions would do more to you. And I'm kinda surprised you like touch, because I thought you'd find it kinda clingy, or to close to you.

I can relate to your last line. I have it too. I totally hate surprises, and I want to know up front what I can expect.

See, I totally misundertood virgoans...I'm sorry for that

Posted by Pisces2202


@Candeh: You think words are reassuring? I thought virgoans will read between the lines, and analyze them before even trust you on words. I thought actions would do more to you. And I'm kinda surprised you like touch, because I thought you'd find it kinda clingy, or to close to you.

I can relate to your last line. I have it too. I totally hate surprises, and I want to know up front what I can expect.

See, I totally misundertood virgoans...I'm sorry for that

Lol, virgos are a strange breed. I actually depend on action a lot, but hearing things are also important to me. I can over-analyze actions as well. And often by "hearing" things, I mean I just want to talk, to know that you're still around. It's very often for me to not see my significant other for like a week or so at a time, so talking is still really important to me. I may not see you, but I want to know that you're still around in my life. It comforts me.

And I love touching if it's from someone I want to touch me. If it isn't that person, I don't like it. Touching is a form of action to me. Just as going out or actually taking the initiative to show that you care.

I like things to be upfront. If you're hugging me, I expect there to be a reason. If you're telling me you love me, I don't want there to be a moment where I question why you said that.

Posted by Pisces2202
@ theonly: His chart is Moon in Libra, Mercure in Libra and Venus in Virgo, dunno if you need more lol
being on the same page constantly I understand but that's almost impossible (you most perfectionistic sign 😉 )you have 2 different personalities with different opinions, you can come close to eachother, and maybe sometimes an opinion will turn your way...Oh wait I think I get you...

@Candeh: You think words are reassuring? I thought virgoans will read between the lines, and analyze them before even trust you on words. I thought actions would do more to you. And I'm kinda surprised you like touch, because I thought you'd find it kinda clingy, or to close to you.

I can relate to your last line. I have it too. I totally hate surprises, and I want to know up front what I can expect.

See, I totally misundertood virgoans...I'm sorry for that

This is how many virgos are misunderstood. Sure, some of us might be kinda like dustin hoffman in rainman, but most of us are naturally intuitive and pretty emotional. We just have trouble expressing those emotions sometimes, so we have to make logical sense out of these feelings first and foremost. This is a difficult concept to describe and I'm sure different virgos feel differently about this, we're a very particular breed. However, we undeniably feel the same emotions and love as everyone else, just a different means of analysis and expression.

I appreciate words because (A) I can logically break down what's being said and determine if it rings true and (B) and I detect your level of sincerity to the slightest degree. Actions speak louder, but that's just common sense. Touch is amazing, like I said, we're not autistic 🙂 IDK about the rest of the virgos but I have my nympho freaky wild side about me too. I feel boring sometimes, but mainly because my default mode is eccentric and unconventional, so when my mind starts to draw a blank I become self conscious. lmao

so you won't be happy with a spontaneous hug from your significant other, cause it has no reason?
If i touch my virgo as in a hug or a kiss, I'm not always get a reaction back. It's like he's in his own world then, and I can easily take it personal as in he's ignoring me, which i think isn't the case, when I tone down.
I just often have the feeling I have to walk on eggshells around him cause i can easily tick him off or something. That's the inruiging and yet scary part of being with a virgo for me.

And maybe well say we love you, because we do lol

LOL @ theonly...you had me laughing really hard with the Dustin Hoffman and autistic lines. Yes, I honestly can say I missunderstood and stand virgoans. You really are a hard breed to cope with, but like I said still very intruiging, and cool. I can talk on a really good level with my virgo. We have great conversations about business or other non-emotional subjects, and the humor is totally breathtaking (from laughing so hard I P my pants almost) but when it comes to the emo thing he shuts down. Patience my Pisces LOL

Lol, I think you misunderstood. I love hugs and I will hand them out to everyone, but I don't want them to be empty. If you are hugging me, I'm going to hope there is some emotional connection behind it, no matter what our relationship is. There are times with some people if I'm just getting to know them that if they do somethign spontaneously, I just shut down. Like you lean in for a kiss, and I no what to do, but I just freeze because I wasn't prepared.

It's just like, the actions we take must be for some reason intended, for reasons I can understand and I can relate to.

But don't get me wrong, I also have a pretty wild side. In fact, more wild than some lol. Like someone else said, a lot of what we want isn't just determined by our sun sign.

I have my venus in leo, so security also means, "Hi, acknowledge my presence in your life, don't ignore me, and give me at least a little of your time every day."

Yeah I missunderstood...again!! But this was about me interpretate the words wrong instead of interpretate you wrong as virgo lol Don't blame the dutch girl 😉

Offcourse I understand you are all individuals, but still you share some traits together. If I say directly that I feel ignored, would that be more appreciated than when I'll say nothing, and take my distance too?

His Venus is in Virgo, so I think I need to read into that..

Hi Pisces2202 🙂

Can't speak for the males, but as a female Virgo, I definitely crave security--but at a "not-so-close" level, lol. I personally think this is ideal for a man who doesn't want a woman who'll smother him, yet she won't forget him...doesn't want a woman who'll snoop through his things, yet she'll take very good care of all he trusts her with. It's not that I want to control him--not at all, actually (I love a guy who thinks for himself, and am incredibly turned off by submissive men). It's just that I like a guy who can show me love, yet be independent and secure with himself enough not to go overboard. I don't need to hear "I love you" all the time, but I will appreciate it, and smile as I say it back when it's uttered. I don't need fancy gifts, or fistfulls of money for shopping sprees, or weekend getaways to Paris...all I really need is to see that the guy means what he says/says what he means. It sounds easy, and seems logical, but I can't tell you how many guys will lie about the simplest things.

I'm the sweetest person in the world when you're honest with me--even if you're honest about something that hurts. But lie to me? Not only will I never forget it, but I'll start to pull away from you instantly.

From what I know about Virgo guys, they're emo about their feelings a lot (us females too, to be truthful) and like most guys, want to be macho about it and not go around spouting off about it. They'll tell sarcastic jokes and hope that you'll be able to read between the lines (the fems too, lol) but it's their actions--them wanting to take care of you that will give away their feelings.

The most secure thing you can give a Virgo, IMHO, is honesty. Be about what you say, or it won't work at all.

Posted by Candeh15
Lol, I think you misunderstood. I love hugs and I will hand them out to everyone, but I don't want them to be empty. If you are hugging me, I'm going to hope there is some emotional connection behind it, no matter what our relationship is. There are times with some people if I'm just getting to know them that if they do somethign spontaneously, I just shut down. Like you lean in for a kiss, and I no what to do, but I just freeze because I wasn't prepared.

It's just like, the actions we take must be for some reason intended, for reasons I can understand and I can relate to.

But don't get me wrong, I also have a pretty wild side. In fact, more wild than some lol. Like someone else said, a lot of what we want isn't just determined by our sun sign.

I have my venus in leo, so security also means, "Hi, acknowledge my presence in your life, don't ignore me, and give me at least a little of your time every day."

I agree with you. There does have to be reason behind the affection we give or receive, I think this is because otherwise we analyze the affection to be manipulatory or from the angle of an alterior motive subconsciously. I mean my girlfriend and I can spend an entire day in bed hugging and kissing and cuddling, cause I know we're in love. If a stranger tried to hug me I'd be like WTF DOOD?!?!

and let's consider hypothetically, a first date with another female. She can be super hot and I can be very attracted to her physically, but let's say for instance the conversation wasn't flowing and there was an awkward presence in the air... She could grab my face and start tonguing me and I would be taken back because the interaction wasn't of a sincere nature up to that point. It just wouldn't feel right. Maybe this is just common sense though and not akin to virgonly's

BTW I'm a cancer rising, that's where the quirkiness and affection comes in to play IMO

not-so-close level...check [v] lol

I already had the honesty even if it hurts thing. And yes, he was the sweetest person, when I told him that. He also do the macho and sarcastic joking, but I do read between the lines. If he makes jokes at my expense I know he does it cause he likes me. Actually we're kinda on the same page with our humor, so he'll get it back often 😄
We never said the "L" word, cause IMHO saying it often will take the feeling away, and it won't have any meaning anymore. It's just for me I feel my feelings for him are growing everyday, and it's just a little bit difficult for me not to know if it is the same for him.
I still have a feeling he can break it off any minute, because there is no sign it grows, or gets less. Well time will tell is the saying 🙂

Taking care in what context you mean C

thanks for jumping in 🙂

I think that everyone will be flabbergasted if they receive a hug from a total stranger. I think I would flip, knock him out, and say thank you after all 😉

I'm already aware that for a virgo everything has to be right, till they open up bit by bit. They'll close if something off in the harmony, and open up again if it's right and peaceful again.

I'm a cancer rising also 🙂

Posted by Pisces2202
not-so-close level...check [v] lol

I already had the honesty even if it hurts thing. And yes, he was the sweetest person, when I told him that. He also do the macho and sarcastic joking, but I do read between the lines. If he makes jokes at my expense I know he does it cause he likes me. Actually we're kinda on the same page with our humor, so he'll get it back often 😄
We never said the "L" word, cause IMHO saying it often will take the feeling away, and it won't have any meaning anymore. It's just for me I feel my feelings for him are growing everyday, and it's just a little bit difficult for me not to know if it is the same for him.
I still have a feeling he can break it off any minute, because there is no sign it grows, or gets less. Well time will tell is the saying 🙂

Taking care in what context you mean C

thanks for jumping in 🙂

You sound like you have everything down 🙂 I can tell you've really gone out of your way to understand him, and that's awesome--I hope he's doing the same! You deserve it.

I meant "taking care" of what you give us in terms of your belongings, your secrets, your feelings, your heart. As long as you trust us with it--truly trust us, we'll do just about anything to take care of what you give us. And for those of us Virgs that screw that up? We will beat up on ourselves mercilessly after--even if we won't admit it out loud/to others. Trust me, we will mourn our screw up.

Yes! I really want to understand him, not to change myself for him, but to act and react in a way he feels comfortable with. I don't know if he does the same. He has a big mouth, but I don't take it as heartless. I'm joking often saying, someone like me, you'll never have again, and offcourse it's the truth 😛

If this relationship won't work, I won't have to beat myself up for not trying to make it work. It will be at his end, when he has observed and analyzed me and comes to the conclusion I'm just not the one for him...

Posted by Pisces2202
Yes! I really want to understand him, not to change myself for him, but to act and react in a way he feels comfortable with. I don't know if he does the same. He has a big mouth, but I don't take it as heartless. I'm joking often saying, someone like me, you'll never have again, and offcourse it's the truth 😛

If this relationship won't work, I won't have to beat myself up for not trying to make it work. It will be at his end, when he has observed and analyzed me and comes to the conclusion I'm just not the one for him...

You are 100% correct. You have a great attitude 🙂 he'd better hold on tight, if he knows what's good for him, because when it comes to female parters of male Virgos, they don't get better than you. The fact that you're willing to put up with a Virg's crap, and still try to understand and work through it--he'd better hold on tighter than a kid to a balloon string at a county fair.

will pass that comment to him 😄

It's not only him, I think I'm just like that. I want to know with who I'm dealing with. Yes, Pisceans will give their world to the one they love, and I want to put effort, time and energy in my relationship, so when it ends I don't have guilty feelings I didn't do anything to make it work. In this rushing society, there aren't many people who are willing to put some effort in their relationship anymore. Call me a romantic wuss, but IMO we need to fight for our loved ones. If I won't get it back, well it's their loss, and they will lose someone who really had a fighter spirit. Maybe that's why my relationships always ended. They took me for granted...I got bored doing it alone, and ran LOL

Posted by theonly764hero

Posted by Pisces2202
@ theonly: His chart is Moon in Libra, Mercure in Libra and Venus in Virgo, dunno if you need more lol
being on the same page constantly I understand but that's almost impossible (you most perfectionistic sign 😉 )you have 2 different personalities with different opinions, you can come close to eachother, and maybe sometimes an opinion will turn your way...Oh wait I think I get you...

@Candeh: You think words are reassuring? I thought virgoans will read between the lines, and analyze them before even trust you on words. I thought actions would do more to you. And I'm kinda surprised you like touch, because I thought you'd find it kinda clingy, or to close to you.

I can relate to your last line. I have it too. I totally hate surprises, and I want to know up front what I can expect.

See, I totally misundertood virgoans...I'm sorry for that

This is how many virgos are misunderstood. Sure, some of us might be kinda like dustin hoffman in rainman, but most of us are naturally intuitive and pretty emotional. We just have trouble expressing those emotions sometimes, so we have to make logical sense out of these feelings first and foremost. This is a difficult concept to describe and I'm sure different virgos feel differently about this, we're a very particular breed. However, we undeniably feel the same emotions and love as everyone else, just a different means of analysis and expression.

I appreciate words because (A) I can logically break down what's being said and determine if it rings true and (B) and I detect your level of sincerity to the slightest degree. Actions speak louder, but that's just common sense. Touch is amazing, like I said, we're not autistic 🙂 IDK about the rest of the virgos but I have my nympho freaky wild side about me too. I feel boring sometimes, but mainly because my default mode is eccentric and unconventional, so when my mind starts to draw a blank I become self conscious. lmao

click to expand

default mode is eccentric and unconventional

WOW I thought I was the only one that had a default mode I wonder if other virgos have one

Lots of honesty and upfrontness.
Hugs, kisses and warm affection in abundance.
Demonstrations of trust and taking my advice.

Remembering things I told you, giving me credit when it is due.
Taking care of yourself and minding your health.
Active interest and action to learn what I have to teach and understand me for who I am.

No overbearing questions about my female friends or insipid acts of jealousy.

Posted by Cajunspirit
Lots of honesty and upfrontness.[v] check
Hugs, kisses and warm affection in abundance.[v] check but with some reserves
Demonstrations of trust and taking my advice. [v] check

Remembering things I told you, giving me credit when it is due. [v] check my harddrive has loads of Terabytes 🙂
Taking care of yourself and minding your health.[v] check allthough I have a disease but ok, nothing I can do about that
Active interest and action to learn what I have to teach and understand me for who I am. [v] check, accepting who he is, and I'm a sucker for learning new things

No overbearing questions about my female friends or insipid acts of jealousy. [v] check, with him I don't care he has female friends, trust him completely

I think I do well actually 😄

Posted by catguy
I don't know, aside from the placement of personal planets, are Virgos generally intuitive?

Yes. But our paranoia will lead us to ignore signs and signals a lot, and our self-pessimism/criticizing of ourselves doesn't help that at all.

you choose to ignore, or you just don't see them, cause you can be withdrawn from time to time? I just don't see the selfcriticism in my virgo actually, or is it on the inside?

Posted by Pisces2202
you choose to ignore, or you just don't see them, cause you can be withdrawn from time to time? I just don't see the selfcriticism in my virgo actually, or is it on the inside?

That's exactly it--it tends to be on the inside; we don't like others to see us sweat, but trust me, if you had just 5 minutes to hear our thoughts, they'd make you cry...we're really hard on ourselves, and it's why we lash out if others criticize us, because WE'RE ALREADY DOING THAT! LOL

I asked him to let me in for 5 minutes in his mind, and actually I wanted to hear what he was thinking, I got a no, some things you keep to yourself he said...well, touch?!

dammit! LOL

Posted by Pisces2202

I think I do well actually 😄

Good to go!
*thumbs up*

I'm actually incredibly intuitive. I can smell bullshit from a mile away, but I have the problem of second-guessing my own intiutation and/or choosing not to follow it.

That's more of the virgo problem than not being intuitive. We are quite keen to sensing things that aren't so big and out in the open.

yay, nice to get genuine compliments from virgoans 😄 makes my...ow my almost 1 am LOL

Ok, another question, is it true that virgoans tend to make a small issue big inside? And when a virgo is scared, he can react like a bomb went off?

For myself, most definitely. It's the over-analytical nature. You can have an idea planted in your head, and the more you go over it, it grows and spreads. That little comment someone made could become such a big thing that it could throw the virgo completely off. And when I over-analyze too much and it freaks me out, I can kind of like "implode" because I become too anxious.

god, we pisceans and virgoans are in ways so much alike...a comment from him I can take so personal I can make it worse in my head even he prolly meant it differently. It can totally freak me out, thinking I did something bad, scared him off, and never have the guts again to ask him about it...geesh

Posted by Pisces2202

What are the securities you virgoans need or want in a relationship, which we (in this case I) can provide?

Your man needs a person who can be able to bring him peace of mind; He needs a person who is supportive and secure in order to express his feelings constructively. The security is built upon by empathetic bonds, one your man needs in order to grow properly with you...

Posted by Pisces2202
Ok, another question, is it true that virgoans tend to make a small issue big inside?

Determines, if the issue is visible then he may attempt to fix the mistake.

If he doesn't see the problem, he can suspect one being there, but a suspicion is one of many Virgos downfalls.

And when a virgo is scared, he can react like a bomb went off?



Scared? or do you mean Angry?

Determines, he might be self-destructive, and he might simply hurt himself more than hurting anyone else.

In case you don\'t understand my weird way of explaining concepts, you will have to understand that your man is probably the type of Virgo who needs emotional stability, and if you are a Pisces who is unable to maintain your moods (that many Pisces are known to have) then he will remain in shambles. This will not give him security.

Sorti, you're way of explaining is quite clear actually 🙂

I think I'm quite capable of controlling my emotions. Maybe because of my taurus Moon. I can easily talk about feelings with others, without sharing mine. But emotions are wide. There's anger, happiness, love. I didn't see him anger yet, ticked off yes, but never angry. I did see him happy, and when he is it's almost into the extreme. What I also saw, was projection. I think virgoans just like pisceans can turn moods pretty quick. When he's happy and playful, I'm too. When I'm ticked off, he is etc. If the environment is peaceful, calm and secure, it will be the same in our heads.

About the scared part. I meant scared and not angry.

My virgo man has a heartproblem. He went to the hospital for it and they can't find anything. Sure I'm worried about it, and I want to comfort him, when it's acting up again, but he won't let me, saying it's nothing and only annoying, but I can see he's kinda scared they couldn't find anything but still it's acting up often. Me as a care taker said that he maybe could get some information about a medical examination, and maybe they could find something with that, and he totally exploded into a not so nice message (or I took it like that) and he shut down again.

hmz now I'm typing this, I get the whole picture. Being scared is emotion too, and he's not ready yet to let me in in his emotions so he will be a little unreasonable or maybe harsh to push me back from his inner side...

Oh well I think it's logical 😄

If it is true, your ability to compensate his emotions, then there isn\'t much of a problem. Also, he is able to compensate so there isn\'t much of a problem on his part.

But...

His false bravado is a simple defense mechanism to avoid the problem at hand, so he wouldn\'t want to weigh any sort of emotional worry onto you. I do this far too often, and i see it as a nasty habit because people worry when they are concern for our safety, but our stubborn mentality \"that we can handle any situation without (as we see as complaining) consulting with others\" is something we feel better if we keep it to ourselves to solve or handle, so we graze through the situation on a superficial level whenever somebody dear to us become curious with our health or anything with more importance.

You're such stubborn species, who will do everything in their power to not let people in...I'd say it has to make you so utterly tired, and if you got paid for it, it would be a nice dayjob 😉

But it still keeps me so intruiged to get the why out of it. I'd be a great scientist, cause I always want to know the why. I think you're not scared of people with feelings, you are scared for your own feelings, cause maybe they can explode in your face and actually make you feel good LOL

Ok I joke about it, but to be honest, I really want to figure out your drive behind the actions 🙂

Nah, it\'s simple. When people are in a rut, they turn to close ones for help, but i often find myself and several other Virgos asking ourselves for the solution. Most people tend to ask us favors or an opinion, but when they notice us clam up then they what our problem is, but we remain shut... Just one of those things, and if we open up then we hear endless opinions that really (and not to be mean) don\'t matter to us because we are rigid with our decisions.

The best thing to do is to keep cool, and allow yourself to let him open up because if you force your way into him you\'ll only shatter him and force him to leave...

Yeah, you are correct we are stubborn...

they want to know what our problem is*

Posted by sorti-fantastic poney
Nah, it\'s simple. When people are in a rut, they turn to close ones for help, but i often find myself and several other Virgos asking ourselves for the solution. Most people tend to ask us favors or an opinion, but when they notice us clam up then they what our problem is, but we remain shut... Just one of those things, and if we open up then we hear endless opinions that really (and not to be mean) don\'t matter to us because we are rigid with our decisions.

The best thing to do is to keep cool, and allow yourself to let him open up because if you force your way into him you\'ll only shatter him and force him to leave...

Yeah, you are correct we are stubborn...

good one to think about...!!

actually I'm trying to keep a safe distance from his emotions, because I not want to force myself into him, but i don't want to look like I'm shallow or something.

Yeah, that\'s the best distance, but you don\'t have to be detached either. Trust me, just have a good time with him, and you will be rewarded. He hasn\'t pushed you away, and he won\'t do it either, from the way you write it, so you\'re good man. 😄

So your a good man*

Last time I checked I was still a woman 😉

I'm not detached, just taking my distance on the emotional part. I still have my emotions, but I'm tying to turn them into positive actions. Joke with him, have fun, and take care of him in my own way. He didn't push me away, but still there's this little scary part of me that says he can end this with a snap of his finger. It the insecurity part I have to embrace. I don't possess him, and I can't definitely not control his thoughts or feeling, so if he's going to end this, well I've tried to make this work 🙂

it's not stressing as well being eager to get to the bottom of your personalities. I'm a sponge for information on things, people and everything that's in my life.

Pisces gets bored very quick, and I finally found a project I can set my teeth in 😄

Of course, you are a woman. 😄

Well, time will tell...

ok is there somewhere a crystal ball? LOL

no, for me the way it goes now, is not hurting me a bit. I needed a relationship at slow pace, cause i was always head first and impulsive, and I can now see that it didn't work for me ever. I need to get acclimatized. It gives me time to re-evaluate my past relationships, and prevent me from doing the wrong things all over again.