Virgos — Extremist in Love & Revulsion

I??ve observed this about Virgos that whenever they really love someone then at first they give all their love to that person. Their feelings seem totally unconditional as if they want nothing in return. Their tolerance reaches to that level for that person as if no matter what that person does to them, nothing can make them angry. But then gradually they start getting tired of these one-sided love and sacrifices, they start feeling unreciprocated and as if all their love and sacrifices are wasted or maybe they start feeling that they chose the wrong person for them who neither understand nor acknowledge or return their love. And then one day that point comes when they say —enough is enough??, cut all the ties with that person and just disappears. And the person, who till now get used to this unconditional love and tolerance, just get stunned in shock that how can someone who love that much can leave them as easily as if they never cared in real.

+1000

That's actually deceptive.


If you present yourself to your partner as a person who is devoted, but, really you're just tolerating them ... then you are deceiving that person.


And to you ... you think it's honorable.


In reality .... that makes YOU the one who is fucked up.

Posted by yellowsweater

Posted by P-Angel
That's actually deceptive.


If you present yourself to your partner as a person who is devoted, but, really you're just tolerating them ... then you are deceiving that person.


And to you ... you think it's honorable.


In reality .... that makes YOU the one who is fucked up.

then what do you expect we do? ignore? pretend we're okay? stay in an unhappy situation? there's only so much we can devote of ourselves, or "tolerate" as you call it, to an unwilling and nonreciprocating partner.

click to expand

The truth of it either flew right over your head, or you chose to not understand because it's too real for you to be able to face.

Your duty to be honorable, in your eyes, obviously ... is to find more excuses to concoct a false sense of harmony, and when put to the test, you defend that position.

" .... there's only so much we can devote of ourselves .... "

Or maybe you just really are that stupid.

Posted by Dogma

.... even the most devoted and loyal people have to say enough is enough especially if your other half is leaving tred marks all over you!

I think the virgo will have put their cards on the table and said here's who I am, and when finally they've been through enough of the bad.

I also like the fact that they will go through a lot of butter before actually throwing in the towel.

That's not what was said.

You are referring to a partner in where the sincerity was present, but, these sensitive actions where taken advantage of ... and that's not what the OP said.

Posted by aishid

Their feelings seem totally unconditional as if they want nothing in return.

that isn't saying that love was unconditional .... it's saying that it appears that way ... to say "as if" is implying the same, that it is for appearance purposes

Posted by aishid

Their tolerance reaches to that level for that person as if no matter what that person does to them, nothing can make them angry.

In this sentence, we see "as if" again, which implies that it is in appearance that this person acts like they are being tolerant, while implying that this isn't truthfully how the person feels.

Posted by aishid

But then gradually they start getting tired of these one-sided love and sacrifices, they start feeling unreciprocated and as if all their love and sacrifices are wasted

click to expand

This one-sided love affair is one of presentation, not actual.

In reality, since this person is pretending to be real ... it's the partner of this Virgo, not Virgo himself, who has been providing one-sided love ... since everything the Virgo did was for deceptive purposes in making the other feel that their intentions were different from what was really felt.

Posted by aishid
I??ve observed this about Virgos that whenever they really love someone then at first they give all their love to that person. Their feelings seem totally unconditional as if they want nothing in return. Their tolerance reaches to that level for that person as if no matter what that person does to them, nothing can make them angry. But then gradually they start getting tired of these one-sided love and sacrifices, they start feeling unreciprocated and as if all their love and sacrifices are wasted or maybe they start feeling that they chose the wrong person for them who neither understand nor acknowledge or return their love. And then one day that point comes when they say —enough is enough??, cut all the ties with that person and just disappears. And the person, who till now get used to this unconditional love and tolerance, just get stunned in shock that how can someone who love that much can leave them as easily as if they never cared in real.

Eerily correct. This should be a sticky here.

I've also been there and done exactly that.
Unconditional means that there aren't any obligations but it's a given (through virgo's eyes) that the person doesn't act like an arrogant bitch.

Posted by yellowsweater

i think maybe some people might find this as fickle or cold on my part.. that because now that i feel revulsion that i never truly cared for him in the first place. one has to keep in mind however that love and hate are one in the same.. they stimulate the same part of the brain as an intense emotion felt for another. i don't think it's so much a change within so much as a change externally... and in my case it was the information that i received about him and thus my perception of him.

Can I get a +1000000 here.

Posted by P-Angel
That's actually deceptive.


If you present yourself to your partner as a person who is devoted, but, really you're just tolerating them ... then you are deceiving that person.


And to you ... you think it's honorable.


In reality .... that makes YOU the one who is fucked up.

I can agree with this, I have often thought it myself in moments of self doubt.
Am I being this accommodating and tolerant because I wana feel like the good guy, and then once there is no reciprocation I can play the victim later and walk away without regret?
Its never quite that black and white but I do understand your point... definitely.

From the perspective of a partner, it is unfair not to expect their element of surprise once you have severed that emotional connection.
People treat you the way you allow them to, so being a "doormat" (obviously I mean that in a Virgo- service oriented way which I actually think is lovely) and then resenting someone for not appreciating your efforts is a little one sided.

virgos like to fall in love with ideals more than the actual person. they are batman groupies, they dont actually love bruce wayne. yes i just watched batman begins

Posted by P-Angel
That's actually deceptive.


If you present yourself to your partner as a person who is devoted, but, really you're just tolerating them ... then you are deceiving that person.


And to you ... you think it's honorable.


In reality .... that makes YOU the one who is fucked up.

It is not deception. its just that when someone do something unjust with someone then there is commonly two types of reactions. One is Approval and the other is Disapproval.

Approval: Accept whatever you do to them and become your doormat.

Disapproval: Either fight back with you with argument or shouting, making it clear to you that this treatment is not acceptable for them, or end relation with you (for the time being to give you a lesson) or perhaps keep the grudge in heart and then treat you the same way at the right time and on complaining tell you that this is how you made me feel then.

The problem with Virgos is that they neither fight back nor take revenge by misbehaving back but show tolerance, in hope that you will appreciate their patience and won't do what you did again. But most people misunderstood their tolerance as approval and make that unjust behavior their routine and that's the point when Virgos say —Enough is Enough.??

Um, I'm an aquarius and I do that so I don't think this only applies to virgos. It sounds like a typical relationship problem to me.

Posted by putiputi
Um, I'm an aquarius and I do that so I don't think this only applies to virgos. It sounds like a typical relationship problem to me.

Not so. The 2 Aquarius girls I know say directly if they don't like something.
With virgos, we don't confront but you just notice uneasiness. When the uneasiness/dislike buffer is full, it's over.

Posted by aishid

The problem with Virgos is that they neither fight back nor take revenge by misbehaving back but show tolerance, in hope that you will appreciate their patience and won't do what you did again. But most people misunderstood their tolerance as approval and make that unjust behavior their routine and that's the point when Virgos say —Enough is Enough.??

In this scenario, if the Virgo is leading the other one to believe that love is involved ... then it's a deception. A person doesn't enter into relationship with a Virgo because they want a parent.

You have described a situation in where the Virgo is in it to correct behaviours of the other person that they seem inappropriate .... that's not unconditional love .. that's control.

when a person enters into a relationship with another person, they do so with the belief that their partner loves them enough to compromise ... you haven't described a compromise, you've described where the Virgo stands rigid and expects the other to abide by their terms for a period of time, or they bail.

It's selfish .. and it's a deception, because for the time that the Virgo is tolerating (rather than compromising) ... they lead the other to believe that they give/love unconditionally.

And that's a lie, according to what you wrote

what's is suppose to happen is .... the two people involved are suppose to present terms of treatment, and lay out the boundaries, so that both parties are certain of where they stand, so that they both are secure in knowing how/where the relationship is developing.

According to what you said .. the Virgo just blindly accepts, without any of these considerations, until they feel unappreciated, and then they bail.

Well of course, the time will come that they will feel taken advantage of .... because they never communicated their relationship terms.


Extremely passive/aggressive .... to the hilt !!!

"The problem with Virgos is that they neither fight back nor take revenge by misbehaving back but show tolerance, in hope that you will appreciate their patience and won't do what you did again. But most people misunderstood their tolerance as approval and make that unjust behavior their routine and that's the point when Virgos say —Enough is Enough."

I definitely do this. But I don't secretly hope that my SO will appreciate my patience and tolerance and then magically change. (I doubt most guys are that perceptive) I do it because at the time it's a small issue and small issues don't bother me too much PLUS I cannot stand feeling like I'm nagging every 2 seconds over some small issue. So I decide the issue is small and throw it over into the small pile and move on. The problem arises when "small" issues continue to happen and I allow myself to fall into a habit of letting everything go because it doesn't really bother me that much at the time. Then one day I look at the pile and it's MASSIVE! That's when I realize that I've allowed too much bad behavior with my non-chalant ways and usually the relationship will eventually come to an end because of it.
I've recognized this trait in myself and I'm working to not be so quick to let the small stuff go because I realize it eventually piles up. As a Virgo I'm always concerned in a relationship that my SO is taking my extreme niceness and nonchalantness as weakness (ie doormat) when it's really neither; I just simply don't care enough about the small things (at the time) to argue over them. So now ever so often I'll call my SO on some small stuff that I don't really even care about; just to ensure that I don't throw too much stuff into the small pile an unwittingly ruin our relationship. It's actually quite exhausting because I HATE to fuss and/or argue. Viva la virgo...lol

I love real talk .... just like that ^^^^^


Sounds like my husband ... he would rather not discuss small stuff. Fortunately for him, though, I will force the issue, which leaves him no choice except to discuss it ... so he is never left with this massive pile as you've mentioned, because I make sure it's nipped in the bud BEFORE it becomes an issue.

It took me a while to get him what you are now realizing .... but, he's thankful for it, and now recognizes that when he used to blow off insignificant things - that the signal he was sending out was ... I don't care.


And that's a huge no-no if a person expects to have a relation

Posted by aishid
I??ve observed this about Virgos that whenever they really love someone then at first they give all their love to that person. Their feelings seem totally unconditional as if they want nothing in return. Their tolerance reaches to that level for that person as if no matter what that person does to them, nothing can make them angry. But then gradually they start getting tired of these one-sided love and sacrifices, they start feeling unreciprocated and as if all their love and sacrifices are wasted or maybe they start feeling that they chose the wrong person for them who neither understand nor acknowledge or return their love. And then one day that point comes when they say —enough is enough??, cut all the ties with that person and just disappears. And the person, who till now get used to this unconditional love and tolerance, just get stunned in shock that how can someone who love that much can leave them as easily as if they never cared in real.

Yeah, I agree!

But it's not healthy...

Posted by chopstickcharmer
it's the leeb placements. they find it difficult to speak up sometimes.

this too, I have to agree with you Andz! 😛

Posted by P-Angel



Fortunately for him, though, I will force the issue, which leaves him no choice except to discuss it ... so he is never left with this massive pile as you've mentioned, because I make sure it's nipped in the bud BEFORE it becomes an issue.

to have a lasting relationship with a Virgo, the SO should understand and knows that they have to do exactly this.

And the Virgo is lucky if he/she has a partner that can do this.

Talking from my own experience, I would definitely want someone who can make me talk and spill out what's inside of me which is typically hard for the Virgo. A sincere-set-down-let's-discuss-things manner is definitely what a Virgo needs. I know it's hard cos Virgos are very elusive when it comes to discussing what's inside of them but a person who can do that will certainly have a happy Virgo beside them. IMO

Posted by P-Angel
I love real talk .... just like that ^^^^^


Sounds like my husband ... he would rather not discuss small stuff. Fortunately for him, though, I will force the issue, which leaves him no choice except to discuss it ... so he is never left with this massive pile as you've mentioned, because I make sure it's nipped in the bud BEFORE it becomes an issue.

It took me a while to get him what you are now realizing .... but, he's thankful for it, and now recognizes that when he used to blow off insignificant things - that the signal he was sending out was ... I don't care.


And that's a huge no-no if a person expects to have a relation

I agree with you there P-Angel and maybe if either I or one of my old SO's would have figured this out it would have saved a lot of great relationships from going the way of the trash pile. BUT you live and you learn! It's a hard trait to break though; I think Virgos loathe confrontation on whole other level. This thread is actually making me consider bringing this up to my current SO so that he understands that I do care I just HATE fussing over small stuff. He's not quite perceptive enough to force the issue...

Posted by MellyMel909

Posted by virgosagscorpio

Posted by P-Angel

Fortunately for him, though, I will force the issue, which leaves him no choice except to discuss it ... so he is never left with this massive pile as you've mentioned, because I make sure it's nipped in the bud BEFORE it becomes an issue.

to have a lasting relationship with a Virgo, the SO should understand and knows that they have to do exactly this.

And the Virgo is lucky if he/she has a partner that can do this.

Talking from my own experience, I would definitely want someone who can make me talk and spill out what's inside of me which is typically hard for the Virgo. A sincere-set-down-let's-discuss-things manner is definitely what a Virgo needs. I know it's hard cos Virgos are very elusive when it comes to discussing what's inside of them but a person who can do that will certainly have a happy Virgo beside them. IMO

+1 to this. I'm discovering that things I may view as "small" and therefore don't feel the need to bring up, are really stemming from larger, deeper sources that I *do* need to address. AKA: I need to be more aware of myself, my motivations, my emotions, my reasons for doing/not doing things. I need to stop looking at "small things" as branches and instead trace that shit back to the roots and address it from there.

click to expand

+1 to both these comments... Very good thread

Posted by CluelessCancer
Another Bullshit thread to make the Virgo seem like they are "servants" of the zodiac and "helpful"...

they do nothing unless it helps their position. It's all about self.

All relationships are give & take. Of course the Cancer in you doesn't get it because you're take, take, take.
Funny, people around me also become "take, take, take" and I have to point that out to them, after that they change their ways.

Sigh, I think I might just argue with a wall instead.

Posted by LilyTree
I prefer straightforwardness. I do not want my Virgo "tolerating" me. If I'm being selfish, stubborn, sel-centered...I would MUCH rather he call me out on it, and we go through the motions of resolving the situation and our feelings, then for him to keep quiet while if festers inside and turns to resentment.

How can you fix something you never knew was broken? You are not doing the person any favors by not being honest with them about how you really feel because while you're sacrificing, they are oblivious, and you're robbing them of their chance to make it right. Yes, people need to be self-aware to know when they've done something wrong. But sometimes things that never even crossed your mind can upset someone. Open communication is key.

That's as unnatural for him as it is for you to keep things inside.
You have your ways and he has his, these are such core features of a person that trying to change these is a wasted effort. It's all about how you handle it.

Posted by LilyTree
I prefer straightforwardness. I do not want my Virgo "tolerating" me. If I'm being selfish, stubborn, sel-centered...I would MUCH rather he call me out on it, and we go through the motions of resolving the situation and our feelings, then for him to keep quiet while if festers inside and turns to resentment.

How can you fix something you never knew was broken? You are not doing the person any favors by not being honest with them about how you really feel because while you're sacrificing, they are oblivious, and you're robbing them of their chance to make it right. Yes, people need to be self-aware to know when they've done something wrong. But sometimes things that never even crossed your mind can upset someone. Open communication is key.

If you know anything about a Virgo, they are completely non-confrontational. A Virgo will only EVER blatantly confront you if they feel absolutely threatened and distrustful towards you in which case, you are already in a bad position if that's how he approaches problems with you.

Virgos will NEVER tell you to fix something or attempt to change something that is innate in you. They will simply observe you in your rawest nature and make decisions from mere observation. They are keen people and they expect you to be keen too. In their minds, if they're capable of being self-aware, then why aren't you? They will NEVER babysit you and your flaws, nor will they tell you what you need to do and how to be. They want a relationship that is mutually beneficial, one that is made from genuine compatibility, not one that requires them to MOLD you from "wrong" to "right."

I can honestly tell you that I completely, wholeheartedly, relate with their outlook because I am almost the exact same way. I will never EVER tell, needless ASK, a Significant Other what he is doing wrong and to correct his behavior. Because I believe that as adults you should know right from wrong. If you understand love, respect and reciprocity, then you should know better than wait for me to scold you and tell you you've got an issue. I expect you to be observant. You should change for yourself and to be a better and wiser person, for yourself and not simply because I told you so. I will only hold your hand for so far before you run off doing the same thing again when I let go of it, I find this approach childish. If you don't have self-awareness, I

Well to define how Virgos and other signs act differently lets discuss a scenario..

For instance you went to a party with your girlfriend and there instead of your girlfriend, you are giving all of your attention to other pretty girls at party..

Now if your girlfriend is Leo or Aries then she will give it back to you on your face right at that time, most probably with bonus.. She will either start flirting with handsome guys there or will leave the party at once. When you will try to talk to her then there will be lots of dramatic fight, maybe you have to follow her all night at streets, pleading to her at your knees that there was nothing in between you and other girls, its only and only her whom you really love and you won't even look at some other girl??s face in any party ever again. This is not exaggeration.. I personally know many Leos and Aries who are that controlling & demanding in relationships and take that aggressive notice of any unjust behavior that the other person will either leave them or will never do it again..

But suppose if in the same scenario your girlfriend is a Virgo girl then she will be offended by your attention towards other girls and ignoring her totally but she will try her best to show that she is all ok. She will be nice to you too but there will be some difference in her behavior after that incident. She won't initiate the conversation, if you talked then her replies will be brief, she won't make eye contact with you, if at night you asked her come sit with you & watch TV then she will say she is tired and want to sleep, she will avoid any bodily contact, if you did then she won't?? be warm etc. from outside she seems cold but from inside she is immeasurably hurt. That's how Virgos are, they tend to bottle up their feelings and if you really care about them then you have to observe these hints in their changed behavior and make them speak about the issue that is bothering and hurting them. Initially they will be in denial that there is anything to discuss but if you make them speak then you??ll see that how much they wanted that discussion. And all of you who want lasting relationship with Virgos have to open up Virgos to this discussion because it is highly imperative to avoid that —pile?? that is the prime reason of Virgos to say —Enough is Enough??..

Posted by itsnoteasybeingavirgo
Well to define how Virgos and other signs act differently lets discuss a scenario..

For instance you went to a party with your girlfriend and there instead of your girlfriend, you are giving all of your attention to other pretty girls at party..

Now if your girlfriend is Leo or Aries then she will give it back to you on your face right at that time, most probably with bonus.. She will either start flirting with handsome guys there or will leave the party at once. When you will try to talk to her then there will be lots of dramatic fight, maybe you have to follow her all night at streets, pleading to her at your knees that there was nothing in between you and other girls, its only and only her whom you really love and you won't even look at some other girl??s face in any party ever again. This is not exaggeration.. I personally know many Leos and Aries who are that controlling & demanding in relationships and take that aggressive notice of any unjust behavior that the other person will either leave them or will never do it again..

But suppose if in the same scenario your girlfriend is a Virgo girl then she will be offended by your attention towards other girls and ignoring her totally but she will try her best to show that she is all ok. She will be nice to you too but there will be some difference in her behavior after that incident. She won't initiate the conversation, if you talked then her replies will be brief, she won't make eye contact with you, if at night you asked her come sit with you & watch TV then she will say she is tired and want to sleep, she will avoid any bodily contact, if you did then she won't?? be warm etc. from outside she seems cold but from inside she is immeasurably hurt. That's how Virgos are, they tend to bottle up their feelings and if you really care about them then you have to observe these hints in their changed behavior and make them speak about the issue that is bothering and hurting them. Initially they will be in denial that there is anything to discuss but if you make them speak then you??ll see that how much they wanted that discussion. And all of you who want lasting relationship with Virgos have to open up Virgos to this discussion because it is highly imperative to avoid that —pile?? that is the prime reason of Virgos to say —Enough is Enough??..

Exactly! Virgos w

Virgos will NOT confront you directly. They are "read between the lines" people and they expect you to be aware of your own behavior as well as theirs.

My Virgo friend will never ever directly ask me questions like, "Are there men in your cabin?" Instead, he will ask me, "Who's all joining you in the cabin?" and it always makes him smile and chuckle when I respond with something like, "Don't worry, mister. I'll be with both men and women, but none I would touch with a ten-foot stick, even if he looks like Brad Pitt. Besides, I'm just so currently stuck on someone who is cutely jealous and possessive but will never admit it." The only way to get a Virgo to express anything he is thinking and feeling is to approach with lightness and answer the question that is already swimming in their head.

Posted by itsnoteasybeingavirgo

lets discuss a scenario..

For instance you went to a party with your girlfriend and there instead of your girlfriend, you are giving all of your attention to other pretty girls at party..

I thought we were discussing rational behaviours, that one partner would consider irritating ... you're talking trash actions in which would elicit horrid responses from any person, irregardless of sun sign.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by itsnoteasybeingavirgo

lets discuss a scenario..

For instance you went to a party with your girlfriend and there instead of your girlfriend, you are giving all of your attention to other pretty girls at party..

I thought we were discussing rational behaviours, that one partner would consider irritating ...

click to expand

If you read the second post of OP then you'll see that he used the term 'unjust behavior' so this post is not about rational things that one partner found irritating..

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by itsnoteasybeingavirgo

lets discuss a scenario..

For instance you went to a party with your girlfriend and there instead of your girlfriend, you are giving all of your attention to other pretty girls at party..

you're talking trash actions in which would elicit horrid responses from any person, irregardless of sun sign.

click to expand

No, not all signs will respone in the same way.. I gave examples of how a Leo, Aries and Virgo will react.. and I know some Libras who actually approved such unjust behavior and living life of a doormat.. so yes I agree with the OP that there are generally two types of responses to such unjust behavior.. one is Approval like some Libras i know are doing.. one is Dissaproval that some Leos and Aries i know are doing.. and yes, we Virgos falls somewhere in between as neither we approve nor we dissaprove openly..

itsnoteasybeingavirgo and Nebulous_Cloud9 speak the truth.

I can confirm that I behave EXACTLY the same way. When someone angers me, I don't confront or lash out. I definitely avoid eye contact, stay emotionless, keep my answers very brief and avoid the person if possible. If I'm confronting someone (has happened), that means I'm steaming already, beyond mad.
I try to notice subtle mood changes in other people and would think they do the same for me.

Also, it's true that Leos and Aries are totally different. They simply say whatever is bothering them at the time, often without much thought toward the other person. They seem to be more concerned about themselves rather than keeping (or trying to keep) a peaceful atmosphere.

Posted by itsnoteasybeingavirgo
??But suppose if in the same scenario your girlfriend is a Virgo girl then she will be offended by your attention towards other girls and ignoring her totally but she will try her best to show that she is all ok. She will be nice to you too but there will be some difference in her behavior after that incident. She won't initiate the conversation, if you talked then her replies will be brief, she won't make eye contact with you, if at night you asked her come sit with you & watch TV then she will say she is tired and want to sleep, she will avoid any bodily contact, if you did then she won't?? be warm etc. from outside she seems cold but from inside she is immeasurably hurt. That's how Virgos are, they tend to bottle up their feelings and if you really care about them then you have to observe these hints in their changed behavior and make them speak about the issue that is bothering and hurting them. Initially they will be in denial that there is anything to discuss but if you make them speak then you??ll see that how much they wanted that discussion. And all of you who want lasting relationship with Virgos have to open up Virgos to this discussion because it is highly imperative to avoid that —pile?? that is the prime reason of Virgos to say —Enough is Enough??..

+1 this is so me its scary! Its just an uncontrollable reaction. Sometimes I envy confrontational people...it seems sooo much easier

Posted by LilyTree

I think you misunderstood me when I said that one might not be self-aware enough to know they are doing "wrong." Note that when I say "wrong" I am not talking about OBVIOUS wrongs like publicly putting on dramatic shows of emotion, lying, disrespecting, undermining and dismissing...When I speak of "wrong" I mean the kind that is relative like, poking someone while talking to them, as a random example. Let's say that someone has a habit of poking someone they're talking to. They've always done it, and they've never encountered someone who's had a problem with it. It's a habit, so the person does it subconsciously without ever considering that maybe, just MAYBE, it's annoying as heck. So, this person has a Virgo who HATES to be poked. This girl, being herself, goes about poking him like she always has with anyone she's ever spoken to. Now, because she likes him more and feels even more safe and connected, she unknowingly gives him more pokes than she has anyone else. Virgo is annoyed. He's downright disturbed by this habit. But he likes her, and sees this as only one flaw in a slew of many rights. So he ignores it. BUT, he dreads face-to-face conversations either because he knows what's coming. Without even knowing it, he's building up resentment towards this girl he otherwise loves. Until one day...BOOM! He SNAPS and he goes on a rant and begins listing all the annoying things about her and begins to aggressively poke her in mockery. Now, she's standing there shell-shocked because all this time she was made to believe everything was perfect. She had no idea she was upsetting him so, and the thought to NOT poke him never even crossed her mind because it was never an issue before. Now she's hurt and she feels all this came out of left-field. "Why didn't you just tell me,

The girl had to be blind then. When a Virgo is annoyed about something, you'd notice. If the only language the girl understands is confrontation then that's her problem. Looking at SOs reactions in detail is necessary in every relationships, picking up subtle signals is a must.

Posted by LilyTree
Got cut off:

That is exactly what many women say, and the man gets frustrated claiming he's not a mind reader. I don't get what the issue is with simply communicating. Yes, I agree, certain things can be intuited. I'm not saying that one is completely oblivious that every single emotion or reaction needs to be verbally expressed and spelled out. Of course not. But sometimes, certain things are not picked up. It is human nature. If a person thinks they know exactly what is going on at all times, I would say they are most definitely oblivious to the fact that they AREN'T aware of everything. How can you always be when you're sometimes caught up with life, stresses and worries? This isn't a weakness, an it isn't a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with having to say/hear, "Sweetheart, I feel hurt when you say "whatever" after I say my puppy has the hiccups." This is natural and it's how you learn to check yourself before you wreck yourself...or the relationship.

I see your point and agree but I seemingly can't do that. Well, I've learned to disagree with people (my brother is an Aries) verbally but it's completely useless as he takes it as a personal insult if I think something could be done differently.

Well, with a SO it would be hard to speak as directly. I think the other earth signs like to solve things without confrontation so that's partly why it works so well. I don't really want people to agree with me simply for agreement either. I usually (not always) have thought about the issue before I present it. Admittedly this Virgo "attribute" isn't the best one.

Posted by LilyTree
"Why didn't you just tell me, Virgo?" She'll say in a hurt small voice. "If only I had known you disliked being poked, I would have even aware of this, and I would have made an effort not to do it. I never want to upset you so." Now Virgo feels ashamed and hurt because he never meant to let go of his emotions like that, but he's only human and he isn't perfect and there only but so much poking a person can take...He'll probably regret ever saying anything, berate himself for not being stronger and tolerating her as he believes he should tolerate those he loves, and he vows to be stronger next time and hold his tongue. It's only poking, after all. Surely he can endure this one little flaw...oh, she clips her toe nails in bed, well...surely he can tolerate that one other thing, too...but wait, she hugs her guy friends, and she...and she...Get the picture?

If something the person you love does bothers you, and you tell the person you love, it's not confrontation, it's honest and open conversation and communication. That is a GOOD thing for everyone involved.

I completely understand your point of view. Alas, the whole point of the discussion is that a Virgo will never openly discuss something right off the bat, especially something so petty, as it makes them seem overly emotional and irrational. Hence, they think they're doing their lovers a favor by "tolerating" and "coping" with those flaws until the flaw becomes so big they become agitated with it altogether. Hence, I've said a Virgo will never directly confront you, if they have to then you've clearly pushed his limit.

Expecting them to outwardly confront everything that comes to their mind is against their nature, they don't have it in them to be expressive and verbose. So it is important to cue-into their reactions to things if you don't want them to reach a boiling point. If you find a Virgo talking about a problem he has with you, you can be assured that he is quite pissed off with you.

Posted by HungVirgo
virgos like to fall in love with ideals more than the actual person. they are batman groupies, they dont actually love bruce wayne. yes i just watched batman begins

+1

From what I noticed both in my immediate family and my friends circle, we do have a tendency to idealize a lot at the beginning. We construct these theories in our mind about our partners and we lose sight of the reality at hand. We don't do it just to delude ourselves, I think most of us genuinely believe our own self-deceptions. I try to keep myself in check at the beginning and fall gradually than going all out and leaving partners confused in my aftermath because I was blinded by who they were and chose to believe they were different.

^
I have a cancer venus in the 8th so everything about the way I love is nurturing and intense. I used to think I knew better than my partners what would make their life better and how they would be happier. In my mind, any advice was geared towards their self growth. And I couldn't understand for the life of me why they wouldn't listen when I obviously cared so much. They were their own person and I was constantly failing to grasp that, in the midst of making excuses or trying to find some deeper ego.

* deeper meaning not deeper ego

Posted by MellyMel909

Having a 12th house Cancer moon, I can agree that this ^^^ is a trait I have to watch for within myself. Especially when I was younger. Only in my case, I was pretty deluded.. The person in question would show/tell me who they were; I just chose to make excuses, or otherwise interprete their actions in ways more pleasing to the picture of them I had in my head... I.E. more pleasing to my ego.

Then when it got to a point where I could no longer ignore the writing on the wall, I would get extremely pissed/hurt/depressed. But mostly towards myself. Because I KNEW better! I fucking KNEW better! But instead chose to lie to myself and therefore made it okay for others to do the same.

My 12th house Cancer moon knows exactly what you are talking about here.

I'm a virgo woman and will bend over backwards for someone I love until they take me for granted or I fell they don't appreciate me, them I'm gone!!! Can't do relationships that aren't reciprocal. Sorry, he took all he could take until you proved to only be out for yourself :/

I'm a virgo woman and have found myself in this situation when I was Afraid of commitments. It's like we pick the person (unknowingly, so it really isnt deception. we only deceive ourselves), we know we would never marry. Fall in love because we love love. The other partner mistakes our kindness for stupidity and tries to walk all over us and there is our " out." But, the partner usually fesses up that they mistreated us after we're gone. Maybe they feared commitment too. After all, we get what we put out.

I'm glad I've grown out of the fear of commitment phase because its just destructive. Now, I won't give too much until I see my partner is available to give back 🙂 took a long time for this realization.

Hope this helps or at least resonates in some other Virgoes 🙂

That is so true, but if I'm given time to prepare for the confrontation. I'll initiate the discussion, when in really hurt or mad, I can't hold it in for long.