Virguys again, this is how I see it

This is how I see it at the moment.
A virguy gets interested in you, pursues you, you show interest back and a little relationship starts. Then something (it could be small) goes a little wrong in the relationship and virguy disappears. Now, I think virguy is summing up whether he did something wrong and whether he is good enough for you. Because as we already know, virgo's are often described in the zodiac as having big ego's, but low self esteem. So at the end of the day, when he pulls away, he's secretly criticizing himself for not being good enough. But the thing is, most of the time, he's the only one who thinks he's not good enough because, as we know, virgo's are their own biggest critics. So when he pulls away from you, who he has feelings for, he's also summing up whether to leave you because he doesn't want you to be the one to leave him. I guess he hates rejection because that would hurt the big ego. So the whole push pull syndrome comes around because of low self esteem and a big ego and a need to critic oneself. Most of the time us girls only think of leaving the virguy because they disappear on us ... other things are a lot easier to work on in relationships than someone going AWOL on you.

Just my two pennies worth.

hey i'd second that! My virguy pursued me for ages when i wasnt interested, i fell for him and fell really bad and he did too, he even told me i was the one and introduced me to his family. Then just two weeks later he freaks out and used the exact words im not good enough for you! He dissapeared for two weeks because he said his head was messed up about us and then wondered why i got upset about that! Now we're split up when i know he still loves me and he's just scared, it all seems pretty stupid to me only being a virguy he can't see it that way!

Wow... that's an amazing analogy...

I often do not feel good enough, yess...
I can't stand rejection either...

I concur, wholeheartedly.

I've got Leo as my Ascendent, I don't think I can help it.

If you virguys didn't push us away so much, we wouldn't feel the need to reject you. So in effect, you actually cause the relationship to break up, because you're scared of it breaking up. Because you're scared of us finding something wrong with you. Because you find things wrong with you all the time. But the thing is, unless you're with a virgo or cancer women, most of the other female signs don't look to critic you, because it's not in their nature.

~Sighs~ out of frustration. lol

branh ... I'm not in a relationship with this virguy, nor do I wish to be. Nor does he wish to be in a relationship with me, but we are friends with benefits. He chased me for 6 months, before I decided to do the casual sex thing with him.
He's one of our contractors so I see him at work sometimes, but we don't speak to each other at work as we kinda keeping the 'sex thing' quiet. But, he's also quite a bit younger than me and not very experienced in sex. And I know he felt unhappy with himself being not able to be as sexually open as I am.
So it's not like he's actually disappeared on me, he's just not texting me at the moment. Not that I mind, I just like to find out and write about virguys because it's the first time I've had any dealings with one.
But thanks for your words branh, I do appreciate reading what the virguys on this site have to say.

Well the reason why I want to analyse it is because of the very reason that he is only a FWB. Why is he taking this all to heart when we agreed it's only about sex? He shouldn't be clamming up emotionally and getting all reserved on me — That's what I'm trying to understand I guess.

Hey, I'm sounding like a Virgo analysing all of this... lol

I realise FWB has no accountability, that's why I've not contacted him or asked him about it, because at the end of the day ... he owes me nothing and I owe him nothing. Just wondering where his head's at... lol.

Yeah, I won't be seeing him again, well apart from at work.

Thanks branh !

Wish I could go there and just hold him, then leave him be.

i have been dealing with a virgo for 2 yrs now(long distance) he was so into me in the beginning, even discussed committment. i didnt believe him at first, but when he proposed one night(over phone) i said yes!! well, i dont know what happened, if he got scared or as u say here, he doesnt think he is good enough (financially) but he backed away, i didnt even ask him anything, being the cap that i am. i left him alone, now 4 mos later, he sends me an email telling me he thinks of me and has cares for me very much. what is he trying to do? i know its hard when b/c of the distance but that has a solution. if he pulls this again, i will ask him what he wants, i dont want to play games nor will i waste more time. i know virgos are slow and want to be 150% sure, but i wonder if he thinks he can do better. virgos can be frustrating but he wont get the best of me anymore, he is going to have to try extra hard if he wants to come back. they may have insecurities thinking they arent good enough but it doesnt help our confidence either

**4 mos later, he sends me an email telling me he thinks of me and has cares for me very much.**what is he trying to do?* he loves u. but when we talk about virgos '' love '' isnt enough to have a healthy relationship . there seem to be other problems for him that love can not solve. he is not playing _ think. _ think they are usually honest people.

"Well the reason why I want to analyse it is because of the very reason that he is only a FWB. Why is he taking this all to heart when we agreed it's only about sex? He shouldn't be clamming up emotionally and getting all reserved on me — That's what I'm trying to understand I guess."


Funny shit, right there.


This Virgo is not being expressive emotionally because this is just a sexual relationship and nothing more, so it has no meaning on the emotional level .. and so this guy is clamming up on her emotionally, which would indicate to me that she had to do something to try and flush out some kind of emotions, in order for him to clam up ... and since he isn't being expressive with his piece of ass, then this means that he's investing his heart?


lol, a case of a vain woman who thinks she's all that and is in denial that this man regards her for exactly who she is.

FWB are messy and should be avoided at all times. you either have a lover or you have a friend. they will always end up hurting someone

Ummm...


What's the point of this?


Why does it matter why a person has disappeared on you? The fact is, they disappeared. Knowing the reason why isn't going to make them return. Not under the circumstances you've described. They have to do that at their own initiative. You can't give someone self-esteem.

FWB is not be the way to go if your looking for a committment. you have to remain emotionally detached, otherwise you end up hurt. it doesnt work for me. men can do it no problem. 25thdecan, i agree taurus can be vey stubborn, and they dont like to admit when their wrong. (my exp with them)

**BECAUSE YOU ARE SIMPLY A PIECE OF MEAT ON A SLAB WAITING DESPERATELY TO BE CHEWED UP AND SPIT OUT** fwb is a very very bad thing yes. but please dont use statements like this even youre right .😢

Virgos don't handle FWB any better than Taurids - goes against the grain for both Signs.

CappieLatina,

Any man who proposes to you over the Internet should be treated with caution until he proves he's not a serial killer...

i know its hard when b/c of the distance but that has a solution

Has he offered to move closer to where you live?

As for the 4 months: If he really felt a connection with you, and has sat back and considered what an LDR with you involves, his behavior is not bizarre (for us!). We can be very patient & long-suffering when in love, and willing to make whatever sacrifices are required to achieve the long-term goal.

he is going to have to try extra hard if he wants to come back

Okay... but bear in mind, from his point of view, any effort on his part to maintain an online / LDR should be appreciated by you...

No offense, but this is what I sense from Cappie gals: Some weird kinda competition / one-ups-manship, and Cappy always seems to feel they've given more than Virgo...

I wish you good luck, but honestly, LDRs tend to have a short life span...

**but please dont use statements like this even youre right .


Why because it's degrading and the truth?**virgogotme . true , r,ght okey but its your truth , mine truth , its obvious that its not her truth and she is an adult. talking like that wont help her . no one is a piece of ass 😢 .

DyarStra, thanks for the input..i know the fact that he proposed over the phone doesnt seem legit..we had already met, tho..LDR is difficult and he probably analyzed eveything, got scared, and backed off..the only thing that gets to me is that, i never pressured him, i was taking it slow, he was the one full speed ahead. i dont understand why he did that, bringing up that i was special we should be 2gether, i kinda doubted him at first, but then said yes to the late night proposal lol..he never mentioned anytthing, then stated pulling back slowly..I dont know ur exp with Cappy's, i admit im not very expressive at first because im cautious, not very trusting..but i gave him space,let him know i was interested by my actions.when i said he will have to work harder, i dont mean it as a form of punishment, rather to make him understand that this push/pull behavior wont be tolerated. its not fair to anyone dealing with them. he cant expect to enter my life, leave, and come back whenever he pleases, i read posts here from woman that have been dealing with this saga for yearsss, but b/c they are virgos we are suppose to sit back and wait b/c they are worth it?? No im worth it, he better hurry up...thanks again for advice

No woman a piece of ass?


lol

Yeah, us Virguys are usually very aware of everything that could and may and will and shall go wrong. At least I'm a Virgo guy and I find this to be true (I also have a Virgo ascendant). I don't mean to push people away; I find these flaws because it's how I work and by analysis of the whole situation I can pinpoint things that would make the relationship better.

I don't like just going AWOL though because that is waaaay dishonest and disloyal (I'd say so if I wanted to leave).