What's with the sudden confrontation game—

My VirGuy all of a sudden is playing this confrontational game with me, trying to poke my buttons!

What happened to the calm exterrior where we could mind fuck each other? Why switch it up to this game?

I thought Virgo's were passive......
... it's interesting, don't get me wrong, especially if he's trying to prove who's boss 😉

so.... I'm to just put up with it— What happens if I challenge him on it— I can sense that he is baiting me.............







................ so dang sexy............... he should just do me instead. Put that energy into good use!!!

MIA (interesting acronym there, lol), Virgos love a good challenge . . . teases the fire out of us. Well, actually into us. If you don't accept the challenge and pull back on your end of the taffy, he'll see you as weak . . . and ultimately undeserving of his mental "eminence." Yeah. Arrogant punk. Ain't we all. 😄

You must learn to bait back with a bigger hook. That'll rouse him (and arouse him) like nothing else. And it'll keep you from becoming his door mat.

"I thought Virgos were passive." I've been saying forever: Negatory. We have a subtle, underlying aggression at our core that we reserve "for special occasions" (well, at least we fire moons--and probably earth moons too) . . . like anytime someone really ticks us off or riles us signficantly . . . or just presses our kinky buttons, lol.

And LOL @ Shakalicious.

And, yeah, it's me . . . "Strings." 😉

Wait wait wait... is this the SAME Virguy who you said was "known to be a player and promiscuous" that you are now referring to as YOUR Virguy?

Posted by Cajunspirit
Wait wait wait... is this the SAME Virguy who you said was "known to be a player and promiscuous" that you are now referring to as YOUR Virguy?

Yeppers.... We're giving it a shot. I'm more than aware of his ways, and he's more than aware that I'm more than aware. We're starting off slow.

I understand the irony that you're pointing out, but the truth of the matter is that none of those girls can hold a candle next to my flame. And none of those girls have been around since I've been staying around later at night.

He knows what the consequences are if he decides to wander off. I'm not going to tie him down to anything. He has to WANT the two-of-us to be together, and he knows that in order for that to truely to occurr, he HAS to change his ways. But he has to want to change it for himself, so that he can gain what he's wanting to gain out of a committed relationship.

I can give him what he wants, because I understand him as a person. But I'm only going to give that, and myself, when he's ready for it. I understand his need for secrecy. I understand that he's been living a double life. I understand that he's been doing it out of not wanting to be alone, which is a huge insecurity for him. I also know that he's wanting that relationship, and that he's picky about who he chooses to be their by his side. I'm that girl, but he has to work for it.......

Posted by SimplyStrings
MIA (interesting acronym there, lol), Virgos love a good challenge . . . teases the fire out of us. Well, actually into us. If you don't accept the challenge and pull back on your end of the taffy, he'll see you as weak . . . and ultimately undeserving of his mental "eminence." Yeah. Arrogant punk. Ain't we all. 😄

You must learn to bait back with a bigger hook. That'll rouse him (and arouse him) like nothing else. And it'll keep you from becoming his door mat.

"I thought Virgos were passive." I've been saying forever: Negatory. We have a subtle, underlying aggression at our core that we reserve "for special occasions" (well, at least we fire moons--and probably earth moons too) . . . like anytime someone really ticks us off or riles us signficantly . . . or just presses our kinky buttons, lol.

And LOL @ Shakalicious.

SimplyStrings.....

I can bait him back, but he goes quiet on me when I do, so I've taken it as him not liking it. I'm a strong character, and even though he's tough, he's very sensitive on the inside. I don't want to be demeaning towards him what-so-ever, but I too like a good challenge.

Posted by Mars.In.Aries

Yeppers.... We're giving it a shot. I'm more than aware of his ways, and he's more than aware that I'm more than aware. We're starting off slow.

Hahahahaahaha.

Did I not tell you this would happen?

I understand the irony that you're pointing out, but the truth of the matter is that none of those girls can hold a candle next to my flame.

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Glad you're so confident.

Can I get my props now?
I do believe they are long overdue.

Hahahahaahaha.

Did I not tell you this would happen?

Why am I under the impression that you're mocking me—?

Glad you're so confident.

Can I get my props now?
I do believe they are long overdue.

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That kind of attitude will get you nowhere, mister. Especially with an Aries girl 😉

Posted by Mars.In.Aries

Why am I under the impression that you're mocking me—?

It's not mockery. I've been monitoring your posts about this guy since you first made the topic. I told you exactly how things would go and you brushed it off.

That kind of attitude will get you nowhere, mister. Especially with an Aries girl 😉

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I could care less where it gets me, I just want some recognition, which you have refused me at every turn.
A hard headed Ram indeed.

It's not mockery. I've been monitoring your posts about this guy since you first made the topic. I told you exactly how things would go and you brushed it off.

Would it surprise you that I didn't brush it off—

I could care less where it gets me, I just want some recognition, which you have refused me at every turn.
A hard headed Ram indeed.

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Awwww........ see, this is EXACTLY the same thing that my virguy does. Is it a necessity to have recognition for everything for a Virgo? Obviously it touches a sensitive nerve of sorts..... I think Virgos are introverts, and when they express something externally, they need that re-confirmation to make sure that it's ok. Aries are extroverts, taking things in, and that's where it stays. I know for me, I can revert to things and advice that people have given me and that I can use it.

Maybe I didn't give you the recognition that you deserve because I was shit scared about the thought about us moving from friendship to the uncertain grounds of relationship, and that was blindsiding me..... call it denial, if you must.

I'm still scared.... but I thank you for your advice and any future advice.....

And I'm not that hard headed, as you can tell...... It's really true about the depth of a Virgo's emotions..... I think that's nice.

Posted by Mars.In.Aries

Would it surprise you that I didn't brush it off—

It would

Awwww........ see, this is EXACTLY the same thing that my virguy does. Is it a necessity to have recognition for everything for a Virgo? Obviously it touches a sensitive nerve of sorts..... I think Virgos are introverts, and when they express something externally, they need that re-confirmation to make sure that it's ok. Aries are extroverts, taking things in, and that's where it stays. I know for me, I can revert to things and advice that people have given me and that I can use it.

[Maybe] I didn't give you the recognition that you deserve because I was shit scared about the thought about us moving from friendship to the uncertain grounds of relationship, and that was blindsiding me..... call it denial, if you must.

I'm still scared.... but I thank you for your advice and any future advice.....

And I'm not that hard headed, as you can tell...... It's really true about the depth of a Virgo's emotions..... I think that's nice.

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A resounding YES would be an understatement.
Virgos NEED reassurance, recognition and most of all appreciation.

We go the mile and ask for little in return.

A resounding YES would be an understatement.
Virgos NEED reassurance, recognition and most of all appreciation.

We go the mile and ask for little in return.

Funny, I feel it's the opposite with this virgo.... I think at first he was expecting me to go the extra mile for little in return, which is what he is accustomed to with his player ways, but I switched that up on him knowing how he was functioning.

That's why I sometimes think in the back of my head that he's doing this out of fun, to prove that he can get the girl that he couldn't get. He knows the only way he is going to get reassurance from me is by making me feel solid in this direction that this relationship has taken. Once I've recognized that he has made the adjustments that he needs to make, then he will get all the appreciation and recognition of being my man. And that's a whole lotta coming from an Aries..... Us gals are just ACHING to shower our prince in shining armor with all kinds of appreciation.

Hurdles must be crossed first. He's not going to break my heart, and that's the bottom line.

Wow...... home boy really flexed his muscles last night!!!! We kinda got in a bit of a tiff at the bar (not a biggie, just that I was ready to go home and he wasn't) so I started walking back to my house without letting him know I left. When he found out that I was walking, he called me and DEMANDED that I go to the closest bar that was open.

When I insisted that I can walk home since I'm a big girl, he told me that if I did, he wouldn't talk to me for a while.

Usually, that kind of confrontation would of ended with him not talking to me for a while. I'm really thrown off by his confrontations all of a sudden!!!

What is going on??

Posted by Mars.In.Aries
so I started walking back to my house without letting him know I left. When he found out that I was walking, he called me and DEMANDED that I go to the closest bar that was open.

When I insisted that I can walk home since I'm a big girl, he told me that if I did, he wouldn't talk to me for a while.

Usually, that kind of confrontation would of ended with him not talking to me for a while. I'm really thrown off by his confrontations all of a sudden!!!

What is going on??

That is just rude and without manners. This is your Aries side showing.

I would have been similarly offended and quite upset.
If you're going to do something radical, the least you can do is tell us upfront. You would'nt like us doing anything behind your back without telling you, now would you?

Posted by Kaleidescorp
Hmm, from your last description M.I.A. it sounds like he's staking his claim and his right as a significant other to worry about you and care about your safety. It's not that you couldn't "walk home since you're a big girl", it's that you are "his girl" and he wants to make sure that you are safe and nothing happens to you. He's learning that he has to be bull-headed and confrontational, that he he has to "flex his muscles", to get your attention and respect. He's turning the tables on you.

Thanks for the explanation..... It makes sense, and he's entitled to it. He can turn the tables all he wants, because I want him to think about this kind of stuff. This way I can tell by his actions whether or not he is sincere about something or not. I can always revert to my self independence as a safety zone.

That is just rude and without manners. This is your Aries side showing.

I would have been similarly offended and quite upset.
If you're going to do something radical, the least you can do is tell us upfront. You would'nt like us doing anything behind your back without telling you, now would you?

How is that rude? I was ready to go home. I told him that and he said that he wasn't ready to go home. I took matters into my own hands, that way he could still stay out, and I could go home.

It's his player instinct that played a role here.... he's accustomed to girls bending to his every whim. I'm not one of those girls. I'm not going to "hang around the bar" waiting for my man to be done. I think it would of been more rude if I insisted infront of all our friends that it's time to go, pestering him about when we are going to leave. I didn't make him look like an idiot. I simply took matters into my own hand. He decided that he wanted to come pick me up. I'm grateful of that since it was freezing outside, and at least an hours walking time.

It worked out to his benefit in the long run.... at least he respects me a bit more and knows that he can't twist me around his finger.

i think it's always a bad idea to get involved with a playaplaya, but given the situation i'd say you're handling him quite well.

Posted by Mars.In.Aries

How is that rude? I was ready to go home. I told him that and he said that he wasn't ready to go home. I took matters into my own hands, that way he could still stay out, and I could go home.

You should know by now, lots of girls come in here and complain about "their virgo disappearing" without warning.

You did not obliquely tell him you were leaving, now did you?

You just ups and left, of course that is rude. It's like going by someone for lunch and leaving without saying goodbye.

for me in this equation playa comes wayyyyy before virgo.
a girl needs to be concerned with herself and her wishes first and foremost when dealing with such a man.
she can't hope or expect that he'll change.

she can lead him to love, she can take him or leave him.
she can ask for the truth but she can never believe him.
she can take what he'll give her as long as it's free.
yeah she steals like a thief but she's always a woman to me.

hahahaha

You're such a pompous, arrogant azz ... when he's done with you, AND he will throw you away ..... you'll begin to recognize your error, however, you will also quickly brush it off ...... to make the same mistake again, and again.


When you are around 40, and your horns fully matured ... only then will you fully understand why you are alone.

Yes I agree with Cajun & P-Angel...Leaving without telling him is nothing short of RUDE and it won't go down well with a virgo. Virgo's don't tolerate that kind of behaviour, which he made unmistakably clear in that phone call. Make a habit of it, and you'll be shown the door with little delay. In general, us virgo's don't like unnecessary drama, and what you did was certainly dramatic.

You wouldn't have needed to make everyone else leave, there was another way to handle it without making a scene. You could have just said something quietly to him along the lines of babe i'm tired so im going to catch a cab home, talk to you tomorrow and given him a kiss goodbye.

You should know by now, lots of girls come in here and complain about "their virgo disappearing" without warning.

He isn't going anywhere.... that is the best part about him. He is solid.

You did not obliquely tell him you were leaving, now did you?

You just ups and left, of course that is rude. It's like going by someone for lunch and leaving without saying goodbye.

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So then I'm a rude bitch. The bottom line was I was ready to go. It was already 2 am, and I had to be at work at 9 am. He knew this, but insisted that he wanted to stay and party. That's fine. But that is why I took matters into my own hands, and arranged my own way home. I didn't want him to leave and stop doing what he was doing. I don't like being a burden, and I'm not goign to be a thorn in anybodies side. That's why I do what I do.

He called me and expressed his feelings about it, and I stopped. He came and picked me up, and we spent the rest of the morning together. If I continued doing what I was doing, then it would of been rude, because then I wouldn't of been factoring in his feelings.

Posted by trifles light as air*
for me in this equation playa comes wayyyyy before virgo.
a girl needs to be concerned with herself and her wishes first and foremost when dealing with such a man.
she can't hope or expect that he'll change.

Thank you for seeing it the way I see it. For some reason this offends males, which confuses me. I give him the room to change, because he really does want to find love, but you have to commit to love in order to attract love. If you commit to sex and the lure of it, then that's all you're going to get.

Posted by oddball73
Yes I agree with Cajun & P-Angel...Leaving without telling him is nothing short of RUDE and it won't go down well with a virgo. Virgo's don't tolerate that kind of behaviour, which he made unmistakably clear in that phone call. Make a habit of it, and you'll be shown the door with little delay. In general, us virgo's don't like unnecessary drama, and what you did was certainly dramatic.

Then Virgo's in general and him specifically can go screw themselves. I'm not passive. Never have, and never will be. So I have a fiery temperment and heart to tame. He's a big boy.... he wanted to get involved, so now he can discover what it means to deal with a female that isn't passive to his player ways. There was nothing dramatic, nor was there any drama. I expressed that I wanted to go, he expressed that he didn't want to go, and so I left. Once he saw that I had gone, he called and told me to go to the closest safe place so that he could pick me up. So I did. It was of been drama and dramatic if I continued walking home. IT would of been rude and arrogant if I didn't take his feelings into account.

You wouldn't have needed to make everyone else leave, there was another way to handle it without making a scene. You could have just said something quietly to him along the lines of babe i'm tired so im going to catch a cab home, talk to you tomorrow and given him a kiss goodbye.

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Nobody left except him. And our friends probably didn't even know that we had left since we were at a busy bar. There was no scene, so I have no idea what you are talking about. I did say something quietly to him, that followed along the lines of " it's 2 am and I have to work at 9, I'm going to be ready to go after this drink". That's when he told me he was in the mood to party. I'm down for partying and all, but not when I have 7 hours before I have to go to work. Moreover, it was on chirstmas day, I had traveled all day from visiting home, and I was tired. Cabs were running far and few inbetween since it was a holiday, and the wait was over an hour. I can walk home in an hour. You do the math.

Moreover, he got plenty of kisses and then some when we got home. Believe me, he was treated well.

Posted by Mars.In.Aries

He isn't going anywhere.... that is the best part about him. He is solid.

He did not, but you did.

So then I'm a rude bitch. The bottom line was I was ready to go. It was already 2 am, and I had to be at work at 9 am. He knew this, but insisted that he wanted to stay and party. That's fine. But that is why I took matters into my own hands, and arranged my own way home. I didn't want him to leave and stop doing what he was doing. I don't like being a burden, and I'm not goign to be a thorn in anybodies side. That's why I do what I do.

Then TELL him that, stop assuming, men are not treetrunking mind readers!!!

He called me and expressed his feelings about it, and I stopped. He came and picked me up, and we spent the rest of the morning together. If I continued doing what I was doing, then it would of been rude, because then I wouldn't of been factoring in his feelings.

You left out this part of the story.

You might as well give up your argument.

Why because you say so?
Because you're a strong woman who does what she wants?
Because you can't see past your own bullheadedness?

There is nothing that you can tell me to convince me that I did something wrong.

Put yourself in his position. You two went out together and he just ups and leaves you high and dry.
Is that acceptable?
Would you like it?
How would you handle it?

I do have manners. I was raised right so I have an abundance of etiquette, and as far as common decency..... that goes with the manners part.

Well your little stunt, clearly shows that.

If these are things that a Virgo values, then perhaps he should of practiced the etiquette of a gentleman and minded his manners when a lady said that she was ready to go home, knowing full well that she didn't have a reliable source of transportation, considering that she arrived with him in his car.

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Maybe you did not communicate yourself well enough.

He simply was reminded that when I left, and he fixed the situation by expressing how he felt, and coming to pick me up. AS far as I'm concerned, we both got to see each other's values for each other when that happened. There was no argument. I did something, he did something, we met in the middle.

Do it again, see what happens 😉

Then Virgo's in general and him specifically can go screw themselves.

Way to score positive points on the Virgo board.

I'm not passive. Never have, and never will be. So I have a fiery temperment and heart to tame. He's a big boy.... he wanted to get involved, so now he can discover what it means to deal with a female that isn't passive to his player ways.

Haha, I can't wait to learn the ultimate outcome of all this. Hope you have the spine to let us know 😉

There was nothing dramatic, nor was there any drama.

There is a distinct difference between a cordial goodbye and leaving without notice.
One is well mannered the other is absent of manners, can you guess which one is which? 🙂

So I did. It was of been drama and dramatic if I continued walking home. IT would of been rude and arrogant if I didn't take his feelings into account.

Again, this fact was noticeably absent from your original telling of the tale.

Nobody left except him. And our friends probably didn't even know that we had left since we were at a busy bar. There was no scene, so I have no idea what you are talking about. I did say something quietly to him, that followed along the lines of " it's 2 am and I have to work at 9, I'm going to be ready to go after this drink". That's when he told me he was in the mood to party.

All you had to say was "Okay, well I'm leaving now, way too tired"
Is it really that haaaaard? 🙂

Moreover, he got plenty of kisses and then some when we got home. Believe me, he was treated well.

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Hahahah Lucky man.

Aries rarely say one thing and do another. They usually do the wrong thing and don't discuss it. Never point this out to an Aries unless you want your kidneys pulled out through your sinuses.

Posted by sortilege85
M.I.A. don't take this to offense.

For everyone else it is called "Competition".

She sees a player with an ego problem as confidence and will strive to tame his ass which is why so many aries always fall for sagittarius.

Aries will compete to have what they want and if it means to be burnt 20 times then they will do it. That is why they known for taking risk and chances unlike anyone else... also a reason why they marry the most pretentious, self-centered and egotistic men, sag, because even the centaur loves and dreams of a loud crazy brooding bitch who will match their gutter talk.

Ha! I was engaged to a sag in my younger days. My father is a sag. They are both honorable men. Protective over their family, committed to their values, and even though they are solitary characters, they provide for those they love.

Am I taming his ass, yes. But my virgo knew that before persuing this relationship. He knows me as a person because we have been best friends for a while. That's how I know he has a player's mentality, because we openly talk about what occurs in our lives. Maybe he has seen something in me that he really values, where he wants to change his ways. I don't know.....

.... and I would completely agree with you about Aries and the competitive aspect of our natures, but for whatever reason, this isn't about me being competitive. Being with him completely takes that out of me. I don't feel the need to compete over him. And I won't!!!! If he chooses to go off with another piece of ass, then that's that!!!! I'm not going to fight over him or compete with any other girl. I can give him what he wants and desires, but he has to get it inorder to have it. For him to have it, he does have to change his ways.

Cajun... I understand what you are saying, I really do. I can see it from his position, and that's why I stopped walking and listened to what he told me to do.

Now, I really challenge you to see it from my point of view. How would you feel if you arrived with someone, and they were willing to ditch you because they wanted to continue partying? Especially if they knew that you had been traveling all day and that you had to be a t work in the am. He knew this, and when I politely said to him that I was ready to go after the round of drinks, that was an indication to start wrapping things up. A new beer takes about 30 mins to drink when you're talking amongst friends. I wasn't rushing anything.

My philosophy is that you leave with who arrive with. He wanted to party and I was ready to go home. Rather than create a dramatic situation and get both of us upset, I went home by myself. I knew that if I told him that I was leaving, that he would then either try and convince me to stay for more drinks, or that he would get upset and feel like he HAD to take me home. I don't want to be a burden, so rather then telling him that I'm leaving, I left, because I already said that I was leaving after the round of drinks.

Now, given the situation where I COULD of been pissed, and where usually I wouldn't of even answered his phone call and continued home, I DID answer so that I could tell him that I was already walking home. Knowing full well that he was already concerned, I'm not going to burden him with further concern and make him feel like he did something wrong. Because nobody did anything wrong. We are still new at this relationship stage and things are a lot more different from when we were just friends. So, we're still feeling our way around.

m.i.a., the reason i see it as you do is because i've been in the same situation that you described.

Aries rarely say one thing and do another. They usually do the wrong thing and don't discuss it. Never point this out to an Aries unless you want your kidneys pulled out through your sinuses.

Yes and no..... I can't speak for all my female Aries counterparts, but I know that for me, I'm a very self-reflecting person. I have done wrong things in my past, but I have grown from them. I do mean what I say, but what you don't realize is that majority of the time I don't even state aloud what I mean, because what I will do is very cut and paste.

It's sad that this is how people may view Aries, because we are communicators and would rather prefer a conversation than having to explain why we did what we did. Aries can be leveld people, but you have to realize that when you come around pointing the blame on us, we will defend ourselves. We don't need an army. We have the warrior's spirit inside us. The biggest lesson an Aries has to learn in life is to pick and choose our battles. That's what I have learned, and I do pick and choose my battles. Taht means backing off from situations that would usually have me become explosive. My experience has been that people have taken this as a sign of weakness, and have felt the liberty to treat me how they see fit, not even realizing the firestorm they have lit.

And then there are those who simply aren't even worth my time or energy. Simply because they are too pathetic and their actions are stupid and careless. I have honest intentions, and would never go out of my way to screw someone over or to intentionally hurt someone's feelings. That doesn't mean that your feelings won't get hurt if you have wronged me in any way. If you keep trying to persuade me, the more resistance you are going to get..... I'm honest, what can I say? I'm stubborn and hard headed, what can I say? But if they are my faults, then I'll take them, because I know that it can be so much worse. I choose to be different, because I have learned.

Posted by trifles light as air*
m.i.a., the reason i see it as you do is because i've been in the same situation that you described.

How did it work out for you?

i was young & dumb at the time. he cheated on me (not unexpectedly), which is a deal-breaker. was partly my fault cause i couldn't trust him, since i had been friends w/him for 2yrs and knew about his past.

def not trying to say that's what'll happen with your situation tho. it just seems you're going about it in an assertive way, thinking of your own well-being, and that's good.

(in my opinion)

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
MarsInAries, this was clearly a very deliberate move from your part to leave without letting him know (so you could prove a point to him..which is whats really going on here, you wanted to prove a point to him and at the same time to yourself, so you could feel a sense of accomplishment and control... not enjoy the night out), Im not sure how long you'd been planning that but I cant help but ask myself, is this really a relationship? or merely a power-play?

After you found out he was a player type of guy, you still wanted to be with him not because you really cared for him but cause you wanted to take on the challenge? for yourself? to prove a point to yourself?

None of those really. He and I have been best friends for a while. I knew of his player ways because we would discuss it. We're very open with each other about what goes on in our lives, and that is one of the major concerns I have about converting to a relationship status because I don't want him to feel like he has to hide something from me because he might of done something that would hurt my feelings. There is no power play going on, although part of me leaving the bar was to show him that I'm not the type of girl that is going to hang around waiting on her man to be done, nor did I want to feel like a burden. He is use to girls being passive, and doing what he wants them to do. That is his player aspect. I'm not saying that he's bad for being a player, because he is a bunch of fun to be around, but there is a line that I draw. I deserve to be treated more than a sex object. Because I have a lot more than just sex to offer.

Was it a deliberate move on my part? Yes it was. But the intention was never to make him do anything specifically. It just turned out for a better outcome......

Posted by trifles light as air*
i was young & dumb at the time. he cheated on me (not unexpectedly), which is a deal-breaker. was partly my fault cause i couldn't trust him, since i had been friends w/him for 2yrs and knew about his past.

def not trying to say that's what'll happen with your situation tho. it just seems you're going about it in an assertive way, thinking of your own well-being, and that's good.

yeah... that is my biggest concern. I believe that everyone deserves a chance, but there is no guarantee that he won't cheat. That's why I'm taking things very slowly, because the connection is undeniable. I'm still uncertain, but he is adamant about this relationship, and I'm still confused why he would risk a great friendship and move things to this shaky ground. But in all honesty, I've learned so much more about him now that we have entered that territory and I really enjoy what I see. Not to mention what I can touch.

I hope it does work out, but that relies alot on him. I support him, and I support a healthy relationship, but no more games. This has to be for real.....

Posted by Mars.In.Aries
Cajun... I understand what you are saying, I really do. I can see it from his position, and that's why I stopped walking and listened to what he told me to do.

Fantastic.

Now, I really challenge you to see it from my point of view. How would you feel if you arrived with someone, and they were willing to ditch you because they wanted to continue partying? Especially if they knew that you had been traveling all day and that you had to be a t work in the am. He knew this, and when I politely said to him that I was ready to go after the round of drinks, that was an indication to start wrapping things up. A new beer takes about 30 mins to drink when you're talking amongst friends. I wasn't rushing anything.

If I was being ignored I would be upset, angry, hurt and feel left out.

My philosophy is that you leave with who arrive with. He wanted to party and I was ready to go home. Rather than create a dramatic situation and get both of us upset, I went home by myself. I knew that if I told him that I was leaving, that he would then either try and convince me to stay for more drinks, or that he would get upset and feel like he HAD to take me home. I don't want to be a burden, so rather then telling him that I'm leaving, I left, because I already said that I was leaving after the round of drinks.

That is the correct philosophy. However, in the event that one has to leave now for now, there should be a clear statement dictating that one is going to leave now, regardless of what is playing out right now.

Burden or not, you are to be respected for your wishes and accommodated properly.

Now, given the situation where I COULD of been pissed, and where usually I wouldn't of even answered his phone call and continued home, I DID answer so that I could tell him that I was already walking home. Knowing full well that he was already concerned, I'm not going to burden him with further concern and make him feel like he did something wrong. Because nobody did anything wrong. We are still new at this relationship stage and things are a lot more different from when we were just friends. So, we're still feeling our way around.

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You are lady not a burden.
Stop thinking like that.

Posted by Mars.In.Aries

Aries rarely say one thing and do another. They usually do the wrong thing and don't discuss it. Never point this out to an Aries unless you want your kidneys pulled out through your sinuses.

Yes and no..... I can't speak for all my female Aries counterparts, but I know that for me, I'm a very self-reflecting person. I have done wrong things in my past, but I have grown from them.

Everyone has.

It's sad that this is how people may view Aries, because we are communicators and would rather prefer a conversation than having to explain why we did what we did. Aries can be leveld people, but you have to realize that when you come around pointing the blame on us, we will defend ourselves. We don't need an army. We have the warrior's spirit inside us.

The biggest lesson an Aries has to learn in life is to pick and choose our battles.

I could not agree more...

Though that kind of attitude is bound to cause problems.

That's what I have learned, and I do pick and choose my battles. That means backing off from situations that would usually have me become explosive. My experience has been that people have taken this as a sign of weakness, and have felt the liberty to treat me how they see fit, not even realizing the firestorm they have lit.

That actually sounds very inviting and interesting. I'm intrigued 🙂

If you keep trying to persuade me, the more resistance you are going to get.....

Haha, I would'nt stop trying.

I'm honest, what can I say? I'm stubborn and hard headed, what can I say? But if they are my faults, then I'll take them, because I know that it can be so much worse. I choose to be different, because I have learned.

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They are not faults, you can rest assured.

I could not agree more...

Though that kind of attitude is bound to cause problems.

It does cause problems, but different kind of problems. Rather than being explosive, I'm implosive. It's hard to pick and choose your battles, especially when you're on guard all the time. I'm looking to stabilize this aspect of my life.

That actually sounds very inviting and interesting. I'm intrigued

Ha!!! I re-read what I wrote.... you are such a perv!!!!!

If you keep trying to persuade me, the more resistance you are going to get.....

Haha, I would'nt stop trying.

PERVERT!!!!! But very sexy.... I will admit. Damn you Virgos!!!!!! This is EXACTLY what he does to me.......

They are not faults, you can rest assured.

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They are burdens.... how about that

Posted by Mars.In.Aries

It does cause problems, but different kind of problems. Rather than being explosive, I'm implosive. It's hard to pick and choose your battles, especially when you're on guard all the time. I'm looking to stabilize this aspect of my life.

Implosive you say?
You bottle yourself up?

That actually sounds very inviting and interesting. I'm intrigued

Ha!!! I re-read what I wrote.... you are such a perv!!!!!

Oh dear... I guess you would not believe me if I said I wasn't thinking perversely 😛

Haha, I would'nt stop trying.

PERVERT!!!!! But very sexy.... I will admit. Damn you Virgos!!!!!! This is EXACTLY what he does to me.......

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Again... lol
I like teasing Aries, they are very reactive 🙂

mars u remind me of my aries friend he does this to girls all the time just ups and leaves for no reason and than he looks at me and wonders why there gone.. this will happen to u to if u keep up with this immature attitude.. what is it with aries trying to tame the damn u just can't do it but people have to learn the hard way.

Implosive you say?
You bottle yourself up?

Now I do...... sometimes it's better that way, but I've been told you can still see that I'm pissed or that something upsets me. I've been told NOT to bottle things up and express myself. It's a catch 22 situation.

Oh dear... I guess you would not believe me if I said I wasn't thinking perversely 😛

Shame......

Again... lol
I like teasing Aries, they are very reactive 🙂

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You know what they say about playing with fire, right 😉 Reactive is the correct term!!!!

I find that Virgos go back and forth.... when they want to be forth coming, they are. When they want to be passive, they are. A little aggression won't kill your cool, calm, collective exterior!!!! Rough house a bit!! It can be fun!!!!

Posted by virgoking
mars u remind me of my aries friend he does this to girls all the time just ups and leaves for no reason and than he looks at me and wonders why there gone.. this will happen to u to if u keep up with this immature attitude.. what is it with aries trying to tame the damn u just can't do it but people have to learn the hard way.

There is nothing immature about my attitude. I had my reasons why I left, and I stopped when he asked my to.

You think that we're trying to tame somebody, but realistically, we need someone to tame us. That's the surest way to our stable heart....... because that shows the ultimate dedication and loyalty. And that's what we are all about.

I agree with virgoking Mars has a very immature attitude, she will fight this to the death and say she doesn't but her low self esteem shines right through, being guarded is a form of protection but it also highlights a womans insecurities and exposes her low self esteem issues, the way she handled the issue about walking home is a complete indication that Mars has some issues about herself and about men....I don't see the relationship going anywhere but it's okay to try Mars, you may learn some things about yourself during the process and hopefully not be so one sided that you only see your side...seems you tend to defend only your views not the other persons.

going back to read the rest of the thread...

read the thread and then tell me that I didn't see his point of view..... I don't have low self esteem. I just don't allow others to walk all over me. I'm not a door mat. I'm strong and independent. With this Virgo, I've been careful and taken things slow. This has allowed the relationship to DEVELOP rather than rushing into something that has the potential to crumble. I have learned alot so far about him and about me, and I know that we can work together to develop a healthy relationship on stable grounds where we understand each other. That's not immature. Recognizing what needs to be changed in order to get where we want to go is not immature.

Just so we're all on the same page here, here's the definition of immature:

im—ma—ture
[im-uh-choor, -toor, -tyoor, -chur]
—adjective
1. not mature, ripe, developed, perfected, etc.
2. emotionally undeveloped; juvenile; childish.

I was ready to leave since it was late, I had traveled all day and had to work. I told him that I would be ready to leave after the round of drinks, giving at least 30 mins. When he indicated that he wasn't ready to go and that he wanted to continue to party with our friends, that's when I made my own way home. This allowed him to do what he wanted to do, and for me to do what I wanted to do. That's not immature, that's being grown and independent.

Perhaps, Tiki, you would of thrown a tissy fit infront of everyone, demanding that your man takes you home. I'm not that kind of girl. I can make my own way around. He did the right thing, and I listened.

I'm sure you will still find my behavior appalling besides seeing my point of view. I don't have insecurities with men. I understand them as they have taught me some of my most important lessons in life.

With my virgo guy, I care about his well being. He's accustomed to passive girls that have ENCOURAGED his player ways. He needs a girl that will CHALLENGE his ways, and I'm that girl for him. I'm not saying that I'll be his girl forever, but I am the girl that will help him create that balance that he is searching for in his life. It's a symbiotic relationship where I can do for him, he can do for me.

Posted by Mars.In.Aries

Posted by virgoking
mars u remind me of my aries friend he does this to girls all the time just ups and leaves for no reason and than he looks at me and wonders why there gone.. this will happen to u to if u keep up with this immature attitude.. what is it with aries trying to tame the damn u just can't do it but people have to learn the hard way.

There is nothing immature about my attitude. I had my reasons why I left, and I stopped when he asked my to.

You think that we're trying to tame somebody, but realistically, we need someone to tame us. That's the surest way to our stable heart....... because that shows the ultimate dedication and loyalty. And that's what we are all about.

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I still stand by that statement if you had verbaly said to him u want to leave a couple of times and than up and leave u would be in the right but u did not do that.. This is a common trait I see in aries people u guys are the youngest of the zodiac so it will take time for u to see were im cuming from.. I also say immature bc only a child would do that. Like im not geting my way so im going to do this.. An adult will talk and reason it out.. Its no big deal now u guys made up.. But don't do something like this again if u truly want this man..

I don't mean to offend you Mars but I do see your immaturity, as I said earlier you will fight to defend yourself which is something you wouldn't have to do if you were a confident woman, there is a thing called being an independent bitch and there is a thing called being overbearing bitch.

You think your protecting yourself and being independent but truly you come off as a person that has to demand and fight for respect which means your compensating for some low self esteem issues you have but most likely hide, if you were truly independent you would not have to compensate for your lack of maturity by being overbearing with a bad attitude and argumentative.

I see your point but I also see a bit of delusion on your part, I see nothing wrong with the way you are but I think your ego is a bit over inflated, I'm not here to change your beliefs about yourself, life will do that way better than I ever could.

IMO the only women I have seen behave like you were needy, egotistical controlling woman that believe it's her job to sit up and try to change a man, change his behavior, change the dynamics to balance it out and suit her. Your not a match, that's quite obvious due to the changes that need to occur. You can make all the excuses in the world why you left but HOW you behaved was immature and dangerous, you don't just leave and walk home alone, you politely tell who you need to tell your leaving and catching a cab home, you say I know your having a great time and I hate to spoil it for you but can you take me home please, leaving is not the issue, yes you can leave, that is your right but you THINK and you do it safe, the way you chose to behave may have worked for you but it doesn't make it right, you chose to throw a silent mental temper tantrum about how he was behaving and walk home alone, not only was that immature, that was stupid and dangerous....next time take a cab home and ask the cab driver to watch you walk into your home before he leaves...that's being mature.

I still stand by that statement if you had verbaly said to him u want to leave a couple of times and than up and leave u would be in the right but u did not do that.. This is a common trait I see in aries people u guys are the youngest of the zodiac so it will take time for u to see were im cuming from.. I also say immature bc only a child would do that. Like im not geting my way so im going to do this.. An adult will talk and reason it out.. Its no big deal now u guys made up.. But don't do something like this again if u truly want this man..

That's fine.... stand by your opinion. That's not a bad thing.... another typical Aries trait🙂
The fact is that I did communicate with him that I wanted to go..... I gave him a 30 min lay-way. He took that time to organize an after party of sorts, rather than organizing what his priority should of been.

Yes, we are the infant of the zodiac, but we also have a pioneer's spirit and a fire that burns that lights our way through life. We are warm hearted, and those we care about benefits from this. We may come across as naive, but we learn from our experiences, and we will do it our way. So we are stubborn to a fault, but it's a great quality for us. That doesn't mean that it will take me some time to see where you are "cumming" from. Granted, I could teach you a thing or two, little man.

And we did talk and reason it out..... even though we did get in touch with our childish side 😉 There's no question if this will happen again. He knows where I stand and I know where he stands. It's going to be a general rule that if we arrive with each other, we leave with each other.

Thanks for your input, and no, I won't do it again.