Why Virgo and Sagittarius do NOT work

Romantically speaking that is, this is my account of time with my Sagittarius after 9 months. Virguy to Sag Woman.
I had wondered why in the beginning of the relationship, that there were so few topics about it, but now I see why.

Independence
Both signs are highly independent and don't adjust well to having to rely on each other.

Serious Versus Not serious
The Virgo man takes everything serious and most words to heart. The Sagittarius does not. Sagittarius like to shock people with wild behaviour and statements. I found my self taken aghast many a time by the kinds of things she would say.

One example, we were once playing with a large ball in a gym.
So I commented, wow, that's the biggest ball you've ever handled!
She remarked, Really? If you think so! *smirk*

Shocking and distasteful.

Sensitive Versus Insensitive
As I mentioned before, the Virgo takes most things to heart. When ever I anger my Sagittarius, she would go into raw Sag mode. Where she would say and or do things without thinking of the consequence or how I would feel sub sequentially.
She hurts me all the time like this and says it is not intentional.

Example, last evening I went to hang out with her and one of my other friends. So I ended up late because of my sister being irresponsible and I find them laughing and giggling together. I was really pissed because of what my sister did so I was not in a good mood. They paid very little attention to me and eventually it came down to this.

I said, "Do I have to beg for a hug(attention)?"
She hugs me and soon lets go, as usual.
I remark, " I came here to spend time with you and you are paying me no mind, I am not leaving till I give you a lift home"
She says, " Well drop me home and she (my other friend) will pick me back up"
I was infuriated to say the least.

Decisive Versus Indecisive
I am a man who knows what he wants, how he wants it, when and why. She is nothing like this at all. I love to plan things, I am always planning and I sincerely believe if people went along with the plan more than half of the time, things would be great. She is spontaneous and hap hazzard.
She would call me on a Saturday morning and tell me about how she has to work early the next morning and that going to the lounge tonight, would not make sense. So this would make me happy and I suggest we both spend the evening on the couch by her watching movies. The time comes for my plan to come and when I call

when I call she is in the lounge...

There is NO consistency at ALL!

Health conscious Versus Unhealthy
In the beginning she asked me if I like smokers, I soundly said no. She said she does not smoke. But later on she admitted this was a lie and she does smoke. She has smoked in front of me 3 times now, and I abhor it with all my being. She does not eat regularly, her sleeping patterns are a mess, she drinks waaay too much alcohol and to top it off she SMOKES.

The only thing I do really is drink, and that's always within reason, because I have to drive home.

Faithful Versus Unfaithful
Essentially, I made a pledge of commitment to her on the day we got together and she said she pledges the same. Not more than 2 months later she invited her ex into her house and had sex with him while her parents were out. I looked past this and forgave her, and now we are 7 months later.

I have never cheated on her.

Vice Versus No Vice
I see materialistic things like Tattoos & Piercings as pointless, useless and only to gain attention. She

Bc they cheat out of all the women in the zodiac u can count on them cheating on u... i know to many that do that... and cry and beg when they get cought if she did it already she going to do it again im being real with u... i slept whith one who wanted to be with me.. she didn't know that i knew she has a boy friend and i new she talks to other guys... to me sags are the holes of the zodiac it just crazy how sluty they r... and look out for sag moons they are even worse.. looking at what u wrote u need to bounce for real.

Cajun -- I'm sorry to hear you are unhappy, but it all is an experience.

The sad part is -- and I've seen this in a number of Virgos, including from own experience with ex -- virgos are attracted to challange. The serious girl, makes them run; the once who don't care as much keeps them coming.


Perhaps this coming new moon is an eye opener and opportunity for new beginnings. You know your likes and dislikes. The charm of 'opposites' has proven itself temporary, because as boring as it may seem, the right one is usually the one that comes naturally easy. Easy shouldn't scare you, because what stays in the end, is your friendship and a deepening love for each other. I know that in new relationships, there can be overlaps with exes. Parties can be confused in the beginning perhaps testing their emotions. However, from how you described your SAG, it doesn't sound like it is a mutually fulfilling relationship.

Continue keeping your options open, perhaps moreso for scorp girls, cajun. Wishing you the best. And know, Fumikins will always have a special liking and admiration for you.

🙂

:O

I'm sorry Cajun 😢

OMG, I know you were really into her and it sucks that things didn't work out 😢 I'm so, so, so sorry ...

Thanks cappysweetie.... *big sigh*

Shaks, the friend she was liming with was a Virgo. Good friend of mine.
Who recently got a tattoo and supports piercings and all this crap.

She tells me that my girlfriend accepts me and I don't accept her. Which makes no sense really!
I just want her to live a healthy and positive life. She herself admits she has a self destructive nature.

My Virgo friend actually has me wondering if I am wrong. From what I have read you guys posting in other topics, I believe you all would think the same.

That I should accept her for smoking and living badly. That I should not complain against her indecisiveness and inconsistencies...

Why am I wrong for wanting what is right?
Why am I wrong to want what is best?
Why am I wrong to stand by my beliefs and not support the things she loves?
Why does she love bad things?


virgoking, I hear you man. I really don't think she is the slut type but she does strike me as a nympho. I would hope that she would be my nympho.

Prince_Pisces, haha, I always tell her, that her friends are low lifes and degenerates. But she has a big heart and accepts everyone for who they are.

I graduated recently with my Bs.c in Information Systems. She joined the year after me and would always be found in a bar shooting pool and drinking her life out. Her friends are the same.

FUMRedFairy_tales, Thanks for the kind words, but I really don't think I will be in a relationship for a LONG time if this ship sinks.

DwellingOnMove, you see... she was different in the beginning. All my experiences with Sags were NOTHING like what I had with her. She only acts like a Sag when she is pissed off. Otherwise she can be this sweet loving person with lots of conviction. I'm beginning to wonder if she just loves being loved and this lovey dovey attitude is all fake to get it.

Serious Versus Not serious
The Virgo man takes everything serious and most words to heart. The Sagittarius does not. Sagittarius like to shock people with wild behaviour and statements. I found my self taken aghast many a time by the kinds of things she would say.

One example, we were once playing with a large ball in a gym.
So I commented, wow, that's the biggest ball you've ever handled!
She remarked, Really? If you think so! *smirk*

Shocking and distasteful.

Yep, thats the humor of a saggie woman lol. I'm sure she was only joking but I guess she didn't pick up on the fact that you didn't really like it.

Sensitive Versus Insensitive
As I mentioned before, the Virgo takes most things to heart. When ever I anger my Sagittarius, she would go into raw Sag mode. Where she would say and or do things without thinking of the consequence or how I would feel sub sequentially.
She hurts me all the time like this and says it is not intentional.

Example, last evening I went to hang out with her and one of my other friends. So I ended up late because of my sister being irresponsible and I find them laughing and giggling together. I was really pissed because of what my sister did so I was not in a good mood. They paid very little attention to me and eventually it came down to this.

Well, she probably didn't pick up on your emotions right away. What's her moon again?

See my problem as a saggie-cappy cusp is that I pick up on emotions but I don't always respond the right way hahaha, I try but things don't come out right.

Decisive Versus Indecisive
I am a man who knows what he wants, how he wants it, when and why. She is nothing like this at all. I love to plan things, I am always planning and I sincerely believe if people went along with the plan more than half of the time, things would be great. She is spontaneous and hap hazzard.
She would call me on a Saturday morning and tell me about how she has to work early the next morning and that going to the lounge tonight, would not make sense. So this would make me happy and I suggest we both spend the evening on the couch by her watching movies. The time comes for my plan to come and when I call when I call she is in the lounge...

There is NO consistency at ALL!

OMG, I remember my ex (who is a virgo) was so mad with me when I did something like this. I told him that I had to work back-to-back for 4 days. He wanted to hang out but I knew I wouldn't be up to it.

See, the capricorn in me doesn't want to be bothered when I'm tired lol. I wanted to sleep because I knew the following day, I would have to go to work super early again.

Now, I'm not sure why your girlfriend would go to a lounge :/ but what I did was simply go to bed when I came home. I was suppose to call him when I arrived home but I didn't because I knew be wouldn't understand and we would end up arguing about how we should hang out ... when I really didn't feel like it.

Although, I can see why you would be kinda upset about her going to the lounge. Maybe she just wanted to hang out with her friends ... I don't know but she should have told you.

Faithful Versus Unfaithful
Essentially, I made a pledge of commitment to her on the day we got together and she said she pledges the same. Not more than 2 months later she invited her ex into her house and had sex with him while her parents were out. I looked past this and forgave her, and now we are 7 months later.

I have never cheated on her.

SHE DID WHAT!!!! :O

Her Moon is in Aries.

She cheated on me with another Virgo, whom she was only in a sexual relationship with. Apparently I had to ASK, even though she made the pledge.
Having sex with him was the way she "ended" the relationship, seeing how he knew it would be his last time
.
I have never heard such garbage in my life before. It's a Sag thing apparently.

She likes to go to the lounge. She is a pick up and go person. I am a plan in advanced and stick to the plan person.

Posted by Cajunspirit
Her Moon is in Aries.

She cheated on me with another Virgo, whom she was only in a sexual relationship with. Apparently I had to ASK, even though she made the pledge.
Having sex with him was the way she "ended" the relationship, seeing how he knew it would be his last time
.
I have never heard such garbage in my life before. It's a Sag thing apparently.

She likes to go to the lounge. She is a pick up and go person. I am a plan in advanced and stick to the plan person.

..... dude .... yeah, what she told you was complete and utter garage ... thats soooo not how you end a relationship with someone. Thats how you keep a FWB thing going because you always know -- without a shadow of a doubt -- you will always have that person to "go to". You know?

See, I know a Saggie woman with an Aries moon -- thats why I had to know her moon.

Yep, they can be very engaging and dynamic women (those saggies with the aries moons) but they can be very double standard as well.

The one I know I am very close with but thats not to say that she and I don't have our disagreements. We are very close but there are many things she does that I do not like nor do I agree with but thats her life lol.

She married to a capricorn man.

*she is married to a capricorn man

you see... she was different in the beginning.

was she herself different or was it her picture in your head? cheating in the second month? Isn't it the beginning?

Could it be you had reasons but you kept the good picture? And now several external causes make you say goodbye to her?

I am not obligued to be right. I just ask questions.

So I commented, wow, that's the biggest ball you've ever handled!
She remarked, Really? If you think so! *smirk*

Shocking and distasteful.

so you tell a Sag, "that's the biggest ball you've ever handled?" I guess we need a world standard committee who says what is shocking, distasteful, aggressive and sarcastic?

somebody some days ago wrote that a Vigo will think he is still of charge while his girl actually is about to shot herself. Also the Virguy I was involved had never an idea when he was annoying me. Not even after I talked about it with him.

...she has to work early the next morning and that going to the lounge tonight, would not make sense. So this would make me happy and I suggest we both spend the evening on the couch by her watching movies. The time comes for my plan to come and when I call
when I call she is in the lounge...

There is NO consistency at ALL!

the consistency is in the idea to close your friendship. Don't you see it? You stay with her and make a perfect list of all things at which you are perfect and she is a loser. At the same time she does not care for your opinion and does what she wants.

You both are not following the same rules. But you are abusing each other for entertainment. Your relationship is burned by anger, dishonesty and self-righteousness. Youth I say!

Posted by Shaks
well my cappy whos on the cap/sag cusp also has moon in Aries..should I be worried? 😛 naaahh...Im not, I know in what kind of a level Ive managed to touch her soul and her very being. Besides she has way too much cap in her chart to allow herself being guided by spur of the moment kind of temptations. Venus in Cap, Mars in Taurus, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune in Cap, Taurus rising, more than enough earth. lol

haha, yeah Shaks don't worry. Saggie-Cappies are alittle different, we can just get spacey at times 🙂

I know one who is out of character for a Saggie-Cappie but I can't really tell if she's a sag or a saggie-cappie. I keep getting her darn birthday wrong lol.

Posted by DwellingOnMove

...she has to work early the next morning and that going to the lounge tonight, would not make sense. So this would make me happy and I suggest we both spend the evening on the couch by her watching movies. The time comes for my plan to come and when I call
when I call she is in the lounge...

There is NO consistency at ALL!

the consistency is in the idea to close your friendship. Don't you see it? You stay with her and make a perfect list of all things at which you are perfect and she is a loser. At the same time she does not care for your opinion and does what she wants.

You both are not following the same rules. But you are abusing each other for entertainment. Your relationship is burned by anger, dishonesty and self-righteousness. Youth I say!

click to expand

You have a point Dwelling ...

and hey, I'm part of the "youth" crowd too 😉

Posted by cappysweetie

She married to a capricorn man.

Both of her parents are Capricorn. Her mother hates her [bi polar disorder] and her father loves her deeply.

Posted by DwellingOnMove
was she herself different or was it her picture in your head? cheating in the second month? Isn't it the beginning?

Could it be you had reasons but you kept the good picture? And now several external causes make you say goodbye to her?

She is on and off with it. She has to be in a good mood. Inconsistency is her way.
I have not said goodbye as yet, I just tire of her wishy washy ways.

Posted by DwellingOnMove

So I commented, wow, that's the biggest ball you've ever handled!
She remarked, Really? If you think so! *smirk*

Shocking and distasteful.

so you tell a Sag, "that's the biggest ball you've ever handled?" I guess we need a world standard committee who says what is shocking, distasteful, aggressive and sarcastic?

I find it distasteful. As you should know, Virgos naive statements are often taken in the wrong way.

somebody some days ago wrote that a Vigo will think he is still of charge while his girl actually is about to shot herself. Also the Virguy I was involved had never an idea when he was annoying me. Not even after I talked about it with him.

I always ask her to tell me what is wrong, and it takes months before I find out what I did bad.

Posted by DwellingOnMove

...she has to work early the next morning and that going to the lounge tonight, would not make sense. So this would make me happy and I suggest we both spend the evening on the couch by her watching movies. The time comes for my plan to come and when I call
when I call she is in the lounge...

There is NO consistency at ALL!

the consistency is in the idea to close your friendship. Don't you see it?

click to expand

I do not understand this statement.

You stay with her and make a perfect list of all things at which you are perfect and she is a loser. At the same time she does not care for your opinion and does what she wants.

Doing what you want in a relationship doesn't make it work. Compromise is necessary.

You both are not following the same rules. But you are abusing each other for entertainment. Youth I say!

click to expand

What rules do you speak of?

It is distasteful to stay with somebody who is not working on a partnership with us. How often do we dxp women tell this to unsatisfied women here? Well we say it to men too. Read what BB said. If somebody is not working on a partnership, this person is actually not convinced that we are good for them.

Instead of staying with her and admiring Scorpios you should say goodbye to her and then look for a Scorpio.

The more you are unsatisifed with her the more she will do crazy things. Because she does not feel well with you. You see lots of flaws in her. She gives you more reasons. Do you know that I cut all my hair in order to set a signal to the Virguy. He very liked my hairs. And I hated the idea that for my look I have to be in his focus.

[ so you tell a Sag, "that's the biggest ball you've ever handled?" I guess we need a world standard committee who says what is shocking, distasteful, aggressive and sarcastic?

I find it distasteful. As you should know, Virgos naive statements are often taken in the wrong way.]

So your statement was naive and hers was distasteful?
Or was yours distasteful and hers naive?
Not important.... you both are self-rightous people. !!!youth!!!

Serious Versus Not serious
Sensitive Versus Insensitive
Decisive Versus Indecisive
Health conscious Versus Unhealthy
Faithful Versus Unfaithful
Vice Versus No Vice
Consistent Versus Inconsistent
Real Versus Fake

Once again, preapring a list and putting oneself on the better side is called self-opinionated. only because we are in love with our own analysing skills does not mean we are more effective for love affairs. I am also an analysis fanatic. I noticed it while my communication with my ex-scorpio. I noticed that I did less for our love than for my mind satisfaction.

BellaBulleautiful, My Moon is in Leo as well as my Venus. I'm far past the point where I have set my mind on her. I can't see myself with anyone else.

Jade_Dragon, I knew she was going to cheat on me but the smoking she lied about. I completely understand your stance, but today is our 9 month anniversary and I sincerely believe she can give it up if I remain consistent.

DwellingOnMove, I really think I have had enough Scorpios for my lifetime... they are everywhere...

My list was made for reference for any Virgos thinking about getting into this. If they can handle it, good for them. I'm just trying to add to the pool of collective knowledge.

Archer, I sense sarcasm...

I am Mr. Perfect, all girls who have lists of the perfect man, I fit the bill soundly.

Even she said I am Mr. Perfect. Is it too much too ask that she not smoke or anything else that is bad for her health?

It's not about being better, it's about making personal decisions to do what is moral, ethical, healthy and positive.

I see what ur problem is dude I had the same thing happen to me it was a libra.. she might have sum thing u like about her and to u all other faults can be fix but u have to be aware she does not want to get fix... The problem with us is we like the idea of fixing the perfect women.. its not g oing to happen.. and because she is rejecting u fixing her it makes u want her more.. but u have to relies if she cares she would do it.. my exe didn't care so she didn't change and ur girl is doing the same.. she can't even respect u enough to not smoke around u.

Cajun Spirit- I have some good and bad news for you. I know exactly what you are going through and have an idea on exactly how to go about it. Being a fire sign I am a fire sign MAGNET, my friends are mostly aries and sag. They are also plentiful in Virgo and Pisces. (although I know it is quite different Earth & water). Though oddly my group of charismatic and sweet frieds are all aries, sag, virgo and pisces. My parents are also Capi and Virgo so I tend to have an understanding of earth signs since I am very close to both my parents. This is the problem.

Sag- Out of all the fire signs I don't want to seem rude but they tend to be the most ANNOYING. Primarily because they say rude things ALL the time without thinking. They get away with this because they have impeccable charm, their smile will melt your heart as you feel your jaw relax and your teeth slowly ease the friction from their heavy grinding. Saggies know they do this to you, they do it because they think it's fun. They do this innocently and they are not at the same time. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

Lesson #1 on fire signs: They have a quick temper but they lose it as quick as a smokey mist swiftly blends and disappears into thin air. They expect EVERYONE else to feel the same. After all ....it was "just" a comment, or it was "just" a joke.

Virgos: They critisize using sarcasm. They also often tell you 5 months later that the didn't like the very joke that a fire sign had simply forgotten they had even mentioned. If you want to make an impact don't tell them that the joke or comment was wrong, make them feel guilty, tell them that it hurt you. While things are cooking sympathetically mention how other people (for example friends, that are - I'm sorry to say- but probably more important in their lives than you, would feel if they said something that rude.) If they don't get the point bring it up to the POINT where you are arguing.

Lesson #2 on fire signs : ARGUEMENTS: Fire signs love arguements. Sometimes just for intellectual stimulation, sometimes to know that you care, however a lot of the times so that they could actually be forced to analyze a specific situation. Saggies especially love instigating arguements.

Virgo vs. Saggie (How they analyze) : Virgo analyzes everythig. Saggies (and most fire signs) almost never analyze anything but their work. They are so absorbed with their work most of the time to care about analyzing their personal life.

-Continued-

Saggies will not analyze the situation until forced to. They will keep saying it's just this one time, or no big deal, until they realize...this may be a problem that I may need to think about.

Finally: How to help her quit bad habbits.

Fire signs are not like earth signs that sacrifice manly for other people. If you ask an earth sign to quit smoking cigarettes (if they are very addicted and feel they can't stop) they will at least hide the fact that they smoke around you. Fire signs may not be "honest" like you say. (although Leos are very blunt- However in terms of Aries and Saggies) however they are not very good at beating around the bush or lying.

These are VERY independent signs more than you think. They ONLY way she will quit is if SHE wants to. So the way to convince her is to convince her that it is BAD for her in such a way that SHE would want to stop. Fire signs are vain and believe me they do care about their health since it is linked to vanity. If you show her that smoking and drinking is UGLY she will stop. You must show her in a manner that is not critical. For example stats on cancer, teeth rotting, acne, anything that might seem ugly. Do this indirectly, for example through a story, "My friend has bad acne because he smokes too much so he decided to stop." or " My c0-worker reeks of cigs everytime she comes into the office. Everyone notices to the point where they start to get migraines. My boss actually told me that one of my other co-workers are talking about it over lunch and complaining." or "Did you see that news special about how cigarettes damage your teeth and cause things like cellulite/ losing elacitiy of skin (meaning saggy mams). " If she gets defensive mention that you weren't talking about her specifically, but that if she is that concerned then she should think about why she is smoking. How unattractive that would look to her ex, and how he could possibly like something that nastey. (trust me, a saggie might go into an outbust about it but will analyze the situation and then surely forget that she was angry.)

I hope this was helpful and all goes well between you guys.

A word of advice, Saggies are the least faithful, Aries are moderately (they become unfaithful if you trigger them) and Leos are the most faithful due to insecurity reasons and problems with being wrong about a person. If you look at it in an earth sign standpoint, Saggies are the Cappies, a water standpoint the Pisces.

Posted by sweat.lioness
Saggies will not analyze the situation until forced to....

wrong. This is absolutely wrong. Sags are interested in analysis, planning and setting goals. A Sag is always interested in farther perspectives and the overview.

Maybe she analyzed and come to the result: she is not convinced of getting babies in her twenties, she is not convinced of him, she is already in a lose relationship, he stays with her anyway and is a good company, so why bother.

Posted by virgoking
The problem with us is we like the idea of fixing the perfect women.. its not g oing to happen.. and because she is rejecting u fixing her it makes u want her more.. but u have to relies if she cares she would do it.. my exe didn't care so she didn't change and ur girl is doing the same.. she can't even respect u enough to not smoke around u.

She has great potential... I swear all she needs is guidance.

sweet.lioness, thank you for the detailed explanation. She tells me that my critical attribute definitely does not help her. She is also prone to retaliate like you said. So you are pretty accurate there.

Archer, as I mentioned before. I know Saggies, I've dealt with them before, they always got bored before I could get anywhere significant. She only becomes a Sag when she is pissed off. I don't know what she is otherwise, but it's very sweet and it threw me off.

I would always make an observation about her and typical Sag she always says there is much more too it [exaggeration]. This really ticks me off but whatever.

Me: Why are you in a bad mood?
Her: I'm not in a bad mood, If I were then xyz, abc et cetera

I can never be right. She shows all the signs of a specific emotion and I'm never right.

My faults, well... just look at a typical Virgo description. Judgmental and Critical.
I used to criticise a lot on her past ways of overindulgence with sex, smoking and alcohol. She flunked out of school because she skipped classes to go to the beach, rivers, bars and hang outs.
Her parents think little of her and I'm trying to get her on track.

Shaks, I swear to you she doesn't act like a typical Sag until pissed. She is the sweetest person when she is ready. If she did, this would have never made it anywhere. I appreciate bluntness and I hope you keep it coming.

hikoro, haha she doesn't intentionally treat me bad. It's just the primitive Sag way of acting without thinking, thinking about consequence or other people's feelings.

i HAVE A VIRGO FRIEND THAT IS PREGNANT WITH A GUY WHO ALREADY HAS THREE CHILDERN BY THREE DIFFERENT GIRLS. sHE IS NOT WORKING AND WHEN I TRY TO HELP HER BY GIVING HER SOURCES AND PLACES TO GO SHE HAS AN EXCUSE TO WHY SHE WOULDN'T WORK THAT JOB. I TRYED EXPLAINING TO HER THAT SHE HAS A BABY ON THE WAY AND THAT SHE NEEDS INCOME COMING IN! ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT IS HER BOYFRIEND THIS AND HER BOYFRIEND THAT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? IT JUST GETS SO FUSTRATING TO C HER NOT HELPING HERSLEF. IT'S SAD.

Jade_Dragon, Hahahaa, of course I have told her all these things. It is because I criticised her she has retaliated and rebelled.
The only way I know how to talk is direct!
I always make crystal clear to her what I dislike and disapprove of, on the spot. She is unable to do the same.

Archer, your advice is sound but in my case not as practical as I would hope. She asked me to be less critical and not reminding of her flaws, so I shall try to abide in her wishes and hope for the best.

Summer Bear, this is my normal modus operandi you describe, but there is just something about her that is unexplainable and I hope that God blesses us and allows us to flourish despite our discrepencies.

Posted by Ms.P

You sound awfully self righteous, prudish (that joke of hers was innapropriate?? come on man) and kind of stupid, if you think for one second she needs you to 'save' her from herself. I hate to tell you this, but you don't sound like Mr.Perfect. You sound extremely controlling, probably due to insecurity (tho you've convinced yourself you're only trying to help)

Sure you can say I am self righteous, I am prudish but I don't agree with being "kind of stupid".
Everyone in life needs guidance, and if the guidance I give is good, then why should I be called stupid?

I like control and I like to manipulate, but that has not been the case in this relationship. I do not dictate her pace.
I simply am very clear and vocal on what I like and what I do not like. What I see as acceptable and unacceptable.

Do you know anything about Virgos?
Just like Pisces we are naive and prone to help other people in life.

Quite frankly, it sounds like you like her a lot more than she likes you. Save yourself the heartache and let her go....no, she doesn't need 'time'....just let her go. She was ballsy enough to tell you she shagged her ex....(it wasn't plain old honesty, it was disrespect...if she did respect you, she wouldn't have done it, let alone tell you about it) My guess is, she really doesn't care that much if you stay or go. With that said, be the Virgo you like to think you are and leave her if she doesn't fit the mold of what your perfect woman has to be....(she won't ever, btw) whether you realize that now or not.

click to expand

That's what I thought originally and that's what I would have normally done.
However, there is something much more powerful at work behind the scenes.

Perhaps my acceptance of her and willingness to compromise would make me less self righteous and more loving? A better person perhaps?

Don't you think?

you've gotten further in than you should have because this girl isn't right for you. now you're trying to tell yourself that you can mold her into the woman you believe she has the potential to be, the woman who is closer to what you want and need, because of the time and emotion that you have invested. there are a lot of people who have been in your situation and have reacted exactly the same way as you.

i've been on the receiving end of such "guidance" before. i'm not a sag but i am a woman and i'm human so i feel obliged to state the following...1.) it pisses me off when people think they have the right to judge me and my choices. 2.) i end up strongly resenting them for trying to change me. in the end such "guidance" is motivated by selfishness because i like myself and the way i live my life, and that is what should matter to someone who truly has "my best interests" in mind.

not everyone sees your way of life and behavior as the best. for one thing, taking everything seriously...since when is that good? humor and laughter and silliness are some of the things that make life bearable at times.

anyway, archer and ms.p(isces) are right. and not that i'm necessarily saying you will, but i sincerely hope that you don't write off all sags, or believe that all of these generalizations hold true for every one, because of this experience. that would be very illogical.

I have to agree with what wheelhomies said, she has a point.

Hey Brother-man,

Going to bring a little "VH" spin into the mix *grin*

Self-righteousness, Guidance, etc
Self-Righteousness is the CORE to what drives us and FUELS whatever random cause we as Virgo's decide to be vehemently stubborn about so I hear you in regards to this part of you. It probably takes another Virgo to understand that this is the cause of the intentions of your "guidance". Perhaps the hard lesson to be taken is that for all our deep down self-righteousness, when it comes to matters of love, unfortunately it doesn't make us "right". It only means we have an opinion...nothing more. I say that because of my belief in the following...

The Grand Epiphany
Somewhere in my late 20's, I read something that resembled these words...

As men, the day comes when we find a gal that we want to "win her heart". For some men, this is later than sooner (*grins*), but regardless, we find someone that we consider so special, we want her. In this pursuit, if luck is on your side, you win her heart in some manner. In this victory, as men what do we do? The first thing we try to do is change her.

Thinking about the logic behind that, I realized the following, "Why the FUCK am I changing parts of the woman I fell for?".

Now with that said, ask yourself this question...
Are you in love with the person that SHE IS, or the person you WANT her to be?
There's a difference...

The reason I ask is I vaguely remember some of your posts mentioning you tend to get attracted to women you can "fix". (I could TOTALLY be wrong about this so feel free to point it out)

If you're a man who enjoys reading, something along the same topic:
Nathaniel Hawthorne - The Birthmark


Acceptance
Plain and simple, loving someone means you love them for their perfections and their flaws.
Besides, perfection is HIGHLY overrated. A gal's flaws are usually what endear her to me lol.

I went over the thread again and wanted to add more. I see why you're worried when you view the way she is as self-destructive. The one thing about change... she's got to want it first.

Speaking from my own experiences, I drank like a freaking FISH back then and was a heavy smoker. Nothing changed that until I decided on my own it was time for one.

Oh I forgot about the cheating thing...
I'll have this to say on the matter and then will say nothing more on it.


Don't let yourself be a consolation prize. You're better than that.

Posted by Cancershorti27
i HAVE A VIRGO FRIEND THAT IS PREGNANT WITH A GUY WHO ALREADY HAS THREE CHILDERN BY THREE DIFFERENT GIRLS. sHE IS NOT WORKING AND WHEN I TRY TO HELP HER BY GIVING HER SOURCES AND PLACES TO GO SHE HAS AN EXCUSE TO WHY SHE WOULDN'T WORK THAT JOB. I TRYED EXPLAINING TO HER THAT SHE HAS A BABY ON THE WAY AND THAT SHE NEEDS INCOME COMING IN! ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT IS HER BOYFRIEND THIS AND HER BOYFRIEND THAT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? IT JUST GETS SO FUSTRATING TO C HER NOT HELPING HERSLEF. IT'S SAD.

Are you serious? Holy cow, yeah your friend needs a reality check. She needs to start thinking about what she is going to do.

Posted by wheelhomies
you've gotten further in than you should have because this girl isn't right for you. now you're trying to tell yourself that you can mold her into the woman you believe she has the potential to be, the woman who is closer to what you want and need, because of the time and emotion that you have invested. there are a lot of people who have been in your situation and have reacted exactly the same way as you.

i've been on the receiving end of such "guidance" before. i'm not a sag but i am a woman and i'm human so i feel obliged to state the following...1.) it pisses me off when people think they have the right to judge me and my choices. 2.) i end up strongly resenting them for trying to change me. in the end such "guidance" is motivated by selfishness because i like myself and the way i live my life, and that is what should matter to someone who truly has "my best interests" in mind.

not everyone sees your way of life and behavior as the best. for one thing, taking everything seriously...since when is that good? humor and laughter and silliness are some of the things that make life bearable at times.

anyway, archer and ms.p(isces) are right. and not that i'm necessarily saying you will, but i sincerely hope that you don't write off all sags, or believe that all of these generalizations hold true for every one, because of this experience. that would be very illogical.

I agree with Wheels.

Even if you want to, you simply can't mold someone to be the way you want them to be just because you like them. If that were the case, there would be no breakups or divorces.

Some people work out great for each other and some don't.

I believe in the old saying, "You can't beat something until it gives in"

Posted by hikoro
My virgo's asc is Capricorn too.
I have noticed that my virgo has been feeling more tired, sensitive and in need of greater emotional security around these times.
So, I am wondering if these eclipses are influencing your thoughts regarding your woman.
🙂

My resolve hardly ever changes.
But I have been more tired, sensitive and in need of greater emotional security. Something which my woman only gives me when she feels like it.

wheelhomies, my guidance is to not live unhealthy and not to find happiness in materialism. Is that really bad?

VirgoHero, I honestly don't know what she is. Too inconsistent to tell.

No one has yet to tell me what is wrong for guiding someone away from excessive alcohol, sex and smoking!

It is not changing, it's good advice.

Posted by Cajunspirit


wheelhomies, my guidance is to not live unhealthy and not to find happiness in materialism. Is that really bad?

first of all, you complained about a LOT more than her unhealthy life style and materialistic tendencies in the OP.
second of all, she is an adult and you are not her parent.
it doesn't matter whether your advice is good or bad. the problem is that you are trying to CHANGE aspects of her, and her life style , that she is not ready or willing to change on her own.
IF she changes, it won't be due to your "guidance" - it will be because she has reached a point when she wants, or wants to be, something/someone different. it's a realization that comes from within, NOT from external pressure.
until then, you're wasting your time and energy - especially since that day may never come.
as her partner, your job is not to "fix her", it is to love and support her. you're focusing on and attempting to eradicate her flaws instead.
you fell for one version of her - the one you wanted to see. but you can't accept her in her entirety. and you even stated within the thread title that sag (aka her) and virgo (aka you) do not work.
what you mean is that this relationship isn't working, and there's a very good chance it never will.

Random thought:

I kind of laughed thinking that atypically the roles are usually reversed. How many stories are there about a woman loving the "Bad Boy"? Hell, I can probably find a few threads with a few of you ladies finding them irresistible.

With that said, I'm curious...
How many of you ladies who have given Canjun words of advice fall into this category? How many of you still want that bad boy and once you do have him, try to find a way to redeem him?

Posted by jade_dragon

Posted by VirgoHero

With that said, I'm curious...
How many of you ladies who have given Canjun words of advice fall into this category? How many of you still want that bad boy and once you do have him, try to find a way to redeem him?

Not moi.


I like dating my equal, not my 'perceived-inferior-that-needs-to-be-modified.'

click to expand

same here, yo.
i cut a "bad boy" out of my life about two days ago, literally. it was easy because he had just come in. as soon as i identify them, they're gone.

woe to the girl who actually tries to put up with their bullshit.

thanks vh, now i'm getting sidetracked. i don't understand why people stay in relationships that they know aren't good for them, and put up with behavior that they recognize (on some level) as unacceptable. i mean, i know that there are a multitude of excuses people use to rationalize their involvement...it's one of those "i understand but it still makes no sense" things.

i've always found it simpler/nicer/plain better to be single than in a dead-end relationshit.

Posted by wheelhomies
thanks vh, now i'm getting sidetracked.

lol sorry, wheelie!

Posted by wheelhomies
i don't understand why people stay in relationships that they know aren't good for them, and put up with behavior that they recognize (on some level) as unacceptable. i mean, i know that there are a multitude of excuses people use to rationalize their involvement...it's one of those "i understand but it still makes no sense" things.

"Sometimes love is irrational. Sometimes love makes no sense. Sometimes love does not care about age difference, or ethnicity, or physical criteria, or health, or money; love does not care if it violates your mental checklist. Love is non-discriminatory. Love Just Is."

Posted by wheelhomies
i've always found it simpler/nicer/plain better to be single than in a dead-end relationshit.

click to expand

You and me both, dear. Don't get me wrong. I love being in relationship when its someone worthy of it but...I also love being single lol.

Posted by virgogotme

You took the time and patience to help, and no,
it's not "parenting", it was a true concern for her well being. She decided she didn't want
your guidance or advice. You can bring a horse to water...again, your patience should be
commended for what you tried to do to make this relationship work. It didn't, someone
out there is much better for you. Don't let some of these opinions here make you second guess
yourself. Not too many men would go as far as you did.

Nod. I want to make sure that you know I'm NOT saying you're a bad person or your intentions aren't good. You care about her and its the core of your actions. What I am trying to say is I don't know if you or your actions will be the catalyst you hope them to be.

Posted by sagigoat
here is a little something for the badboyz/badgirlz 😛 -


fool me once, shame on you
fool me twice, shame on me
fool me again... oh yes babe please fool me again!!!


LOL

Hahahaha

virgotome, thank you a great deal for the kind words. Sometimes I feel my selfless wishes are never recognised nor appreciated. But rather openly condemned as is clear in this thread. Only we Virgos can truly understand this.

Shaks, You are older and have clearly dealt with more women and relationships I may ever have. You're more laid back for a Virgo from what I have read. I'm very uptight and very intolerant to things I see as materialistic and pointless.

hikoro, thanks. My Scorpio ex from Minnesota came to visit today. I was in no mood to entertain her and dropped her back to the bus station.

If that's how the situation is between u two and she doesn't seem to follow through as u would have hoped.. hence her problems a/ drinking etc.. Then just leave her if it's not working out, you two just not be right for each other. Probably the real solution of the situation itself. Goodluck anyhow..

You know, I didn't really agree with what he said in that quotation as well.. And I don't follow through with what I read in astrology because I obviously don't agree with my own sign as a Virgo lol. But seriously Cajun you two aren't right for each other, whether that's hard for u to know or not. That's probably just how it is.

Otherwise u just need to accept for who she is and compromise or just move on. You just can't change anyone. They can only do that for theirselves.

I haven't really gone through the entire thread to know the full detail of it, but that's just what I'm thinking personally.

I bet this will double post lol