If I were homeless, this would be my beggar's sign

There once a man with no tow.
His name, it was Willy McBow.
He was quite the cheeky fellow.
Honestly, where the fuck was he trying to go?
Well, you see he got lost somewhere off-road
While swerving to avoid a rather large toad;
Knocked off his track, and bound to explode
He soon grew erect and started beating his chode.
Well, the story is really not true.
No, I heard it from some old greedy Jew.
He was out on some ferry in Wales,
Looking forward to spotting some whales.
He thought for his efforts I owed him some quarter.
I looked at him, asking, "do I look like a hoarder?"
..Okay, that story's not true either,
But have you heard about the one with the beaver?
I believe the name was Chuckle McSneer
And often he dreamt of making love to a deer..
Okay, what the fuck was that?^
My creativity has certainly gone flat.
You know what? fuck this shit!
You're just a judgmental hypocrite.
What? you're telling me you don't try to scam?
You can shove your smug ways right in your clam!
But seriously, where is my quarter?
I told you already, it's for my terminally ill daughter.

lulz *fistbump*