jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
Taurus female pulled back & wants to be friends
vomiting after drinking is not that deep. stop thinking u were perfect until that trivial matter. it probably has nothing to do with you. sounds like she just doesn't want a relationship and u fall in love too easily
Your pinning it all on being sloppy drunk that one night. But that might not even be it...
Far more likely that as she got to know you she decided your not a good fit for what she wants. No worries. People are allowed to change their minds.
Get back out there and start dating again. Cause she ain't the one.
Far more likely that as she got to know you she decided your not a good fit for what she wants. No worries. People are allowed to change their minds.
Get back out there and start dating again. Cause she ain't the one.
Posted by jeane
she's told you what you should do. be her friend.
if you want more at this time then best find someone else who can go at the pace you desire.
Yeah, I understand that, and I respect her decision and what she needs right now. But do you think taurus women ever take you out of the friend zone once they put you there?
Posted by Phantom_Limbo
How long did you know her before the vomiting incident and did you say or do anything other than vomit during that time?
About a month of talking every day and seeing each other 3-4 times a week. Very intense connection right off the bat.
No, it was more of a thing of I went up to go to the restroom, got sick, came back, everything was as if it didn’t even happen. I wasn’t belligerent or disrespectful, my body just got sick from it.
Posted by dilettantePosted by besarlalluvia
vomiting after drinking is not that deep. stop thinking u were perfect until that trivial matter. it probably has nothing to do with you.
did u not see the virgo in her personal placements?
judgey virgo rising didnt like the vomvom now sad gemini must pay the price.
or that aries venus is just over itclick to expand
So you’re saying she can’t be bothered to realize people are human and things happen? Every time I tried to apologize for it or brought it into discussion, she told me I needed to stop beating myself up for it and she doesn’t view that as my character or who I am, and that I shouldn’t worry about it.
But now that she’s backed off, I am obviously worried about it....
Posted by Phantom_LimboPosted by sadgeminiPosted by Phantom_Limbo
How long did you know her before the vomiting incident and did you say or do anything other than vomit during that time?
About a month of talking every day and seeing each other 3-4 times a week. Very intense connection right off the bat.
No, it was more of a thing of I went up to go to the restroom, got sick, came back, everything was as if it didn’t even happen. I wasn’t belligerent or disrespectful, my body just got sick from it.
Oh dear. If that's all you did, that seems really harsh. Was it the first time you drank together? Maybe she has a trigger about sloppy drinking that you don't know about. Maybe she's using it as an excuse.click to expand
Our first date we met for drinks and got hammered together, ended up staying at the bar til it closed and didn’t even realize - that’s how much we enjoyed each other’s company.
I forgot to mention that even after that incident, we were talking for 2 weeks still, she continued to flirt with me and everything seemed to be going well.... up until about 3 days ago.
Posted by Phantom_LimboPosted by sadgeminiPosted by Phantom_LimboPosted by sadgeminiPosted by Phantom_Limbo
How long did you know her before the vomiting incident and did you say or do anything other than vomit during that time?
About a month of talking every day and seeing each other 3-4 times a week. Very intense connection right off the bat.
No, it was more of a thing of I went up to go to the restroom, got sick, came back, everything was as if it didn’t even happen. I wasn’t belligerent or disrespectful, my body just got sick from it.
Oh dear. If that's all you did, that seems really harsh. Was it the first time you drank together? Maybe she has a trigger about sloppy drinking that you don't know about. Maybe she's using it as an excuse.
Our first date we met for drinks and got hammered together, ended up staying at the bar til it closed and didn’t even realize - that’s how much we enjoyed each other’s company.
I forgot to mention that even after that incident, we were talking for 2 weeks still, she continued to flirt with me and everything seemed to be going well.... up until about 3 days ago.
I misread the situation the first time. She never said the drinking was the problem; you're just surmising that. I think others are right that you probably shouldn't assume it's about that. Did something happen 3 days ago?click to expand
No - all was carrying on as normal for the most part, her still flirting with me and wanting to include me in her life. (Except she had not seen me/hung out with me since that night)
She went camping with her friends over the weekend and I usually just leave her to do her own thing when she’s out in nature. But I did send her a text to let her know I was thinking of her and that I missed her/hope she was having a good time.
Posted by sadgeminiPosted by Phantom_LimboPosted by sadgeminiPosted by Phantom_LimboPosted by sadgeminiPosted by Phantom_Limbo
How long did you know her before the vomiting incident and did you say or do anything other than vomit during that time?
About a month of talking every day and seeing each other 3-4 times a week. Very intense connection right off the bat.
No, it was more of a thing of I went up to go to the restroom, got sick, came back, everything was as if it didn’t even happen. I wasn’t belligerent or disrespectful, my body just got sick from it.
Oh dear. If that's all you did, that seems really harsh. Was it the first time you drank together? Maybe she has a trigger about sloppy drinking that you don't know about. Maybe she's using it as an excuse.
Our first date we met for drinks and got hammered together, ended up staying at the bar til it closed and didn’t even realize - that’s how much we enjoyed each other’s company.
I forgot to mention that even after that incident, we were talking for 2 weeks still, she continued to flirt with me and everything seemed to be going well.... up until about 3 days ago.
I misread the situation the first time. She never said the drinking was the problem; you're just surmising that. I think others are right that you probably shouldn't assume it's about that. Did something happen 3 days ago?
No - all was carrying on as normal for the most part, her still flirting with me and wanting to include me in her life. (Except she had not seen me/hung out with me since that night)
She went camping with her friends over the weekend and I usually just leave her to do her own thing when she’s out in nature. But I did send her a text to let her know I was thinking of her and that I missed her/hope she was having a good time.click to expand
After sending that text is when she told me she was sorry for being distant and that’s when she mentioned about not wanting anything serious....
But the entire time, we had talked about our wants and desires and how we both only want something serious and we don’t mess around with people. So I’m just confused as to what would have caused her to do a complete 180 switch on me?
Posted by sadgeminiPosted by Phantom_LimboPosted by sadgeminiPosted by Phantom_Limbo
How long did you know her before the vomiting incident and did you say or do anything other than vomit during that time?
About a month of talking every day and seeing each other 3-4 times a week. Very intense connection right off the bat.
No, it was more of a thing of I went up to go to the restroom, got sick, came back, everything was as if it didn’t even happen. I wasn’t belligerent or disrespectful, my body just got sick from it.
Oh dear. If that's all you did, that seems really harsh. Was it the first time you drank together? Maybe she has a trigger about sloppy drinking that you don't know about. Maybe she's using it as an excuse.
Our first date we met for drinks and got hammered together, ended up staying at the bar til it closed and didn’t even realize - that’s how much we enjoyed each other’s company.
I forgot to mention that even after that incident, we were talking for 2 weeks still, she continued to flirt with me and everything seemed to be going well.... up until about 3 days ago.click to expand
Ok. Here what happened. She liked you but that’s the key word. Liked you!
She is not had met someone she liked you more. It happened 3 days ago...
You were time/place filler.
Until 3 days ago. She is busy now.
And that’s what happening when people are ok with you near them but you just is this - temp filler. Remedy from boredom.
Move on man! Save your face!
She DID say that it was a huge turn off too soon especially when she had a feeling that we could be “next level”, aka date.
Which makes me wonder - if you think you could date someone and if you genuinely care about someone, why would you let it slip bc of one mistake?
Which makes me wonder - if you think you could date someone and if you genuinely care about someone, why would you let it slip bc of one mistake?
Posted by Silverado
Whatever you do, do not contact this woman again until she contacts you.
Even though she entertained the ideas, you moved in too quickly. She felt smothered and pulled away. You need to leave her alone, period.
You need to find someone else in the meantime and not put all of your eggs in one basket. She knows she doesn't have to do any of the work because you will do it all.
Those little episodes in between aren't the issue. If she's pinning it all on that, she doesn't have the balls to tell you that you became unattractive because you became clingy.
Thank you for the insight, I figured that was the best route to take regardless of what the outcome may be. Taurus women LOVE their space, huh?
Any chance if I respect that need and really back off, she might regain interest? I’d have to play my cards more carefully because the last thing I want to do is crowd her.
Posted by sadgeminiPosted by jeane
she's told you what you should do. be her friend.
if you want more at this time then best find someone else who can go at the pace you desire.
Yeah, I understand that, and I respect her decision and what she needs right now. But do you think taurus women ever take you out of the friend zone once they put you there?click to expand
i think she might or she might not. however the best thing is for you to live in the moment and not have expectations that someday that will change.
in the meantime be a good friend and see where that takes you. you'll only end up resenting her if you hang your hat on the belief that one day she will change her mind only to find that she doesn't.
Hey as a Taurus woman...i have one question..
How long ago was her last relationahip?
Something tells me she definitely liked you...but she has unfinished business or was holding a torch for someone else...and possibly that person came back into her life and she has to take the opportunity.
I hate to admit ive been guilty of that.
Id you dont mind me asking..how old arw you guys. Eaely 20s, mid, late, 30s?
We make poor decisions like this until about 25 26...then we settle. At least most female Taurus i know.
How long ago was her last relationahip?
Something tells me she definitely liked you...but she has unfinished business or was holding a torch for someone else...and possibly that person came back into her life and she has to take the opportunity.
I hate to admit ive been guilty of that.
Id you dont mind me asking..how old arw you guys. Eaely 20s, mid, late, 30s?
We make poor decisions like this until about 25 26...then we settle. At least most female Taurus i know.
Also you have to take her word for it.
Dont read betweem the lines.
Read what she wrote and follow that.
She laid out everything, there really shouldn't be any questions.
She might come back...but so you want that with her wishy washy behavior?
I had an ex bf whom I was with for 2 years.
I lost interest and wanted to explore dating other people.
I said that straight up to him.
He still tried to push being with me.
I explored other options for a month.
I got bored and lonely, took him back out of guilt and feeling bad for him mostly. He loved me. And within 2 weeks I met someone else. Dumped him AGAIN. Which crushed him obv.
Im not proud of this...ive worked on myself since. 30 year old me is different than 21 year old me.
But take this story and apply it to you.
You dont want to be like that guy.
Count this as a L and move on.
Your a Gemini, im sure you havw options.
Dont read betweem the lines.
Read what she wrote and follow that.
She laid out everything, there really shouldn't be any questions.
She might come back...but so you want that with her wishy washy behavior?
I had an ex bf whom I was with for 2 years.
I lost interest and wanted to explore dating other people.
I said that straight up to him.
He still tried to push being with me.
I explored other options for a month.
I got bored and lonely, took him back out of guilt and feeling bad for him mostly. He loved me. And within 2 weeks I met someone else. Dumped him AGAIN. Which crushed him obv.
Im not proud of this...ive worked on myself since. 30 year old me is different than 21 year old me.
But take this story and apply it to you.
You dont want to be like that guy.
Count this as a L and move on.
Your a Gemini, im sure you havw options.
Posted by Boots1313
Hey as a Taurus woman...i have one question..
How long ago was her last relationahip?
Something tells me she definitely liked you...but she has unfinished business or was holding a torch for someone else...and possibly that person came back into her life and she has to take the opportunity.
I hate to admit ive been guilty of that.
Id you dont mind me asking..how old arw you guys. Eaely 20s, mid, late, 30s?
We make poor decisions like this until about 25 26...then we settle. At least most female Taurus i know.
Her last relationship ended at the end of 2018... She just recently moved to my city a few months ago for a job and to “fly the nest” away from her hometown.
We both recently just turned 24.
Posted by sadgeminiPosted by Boots1313
Hey as a Taurus woman...i have one question..
How long ago was her last relationahip?
Something tells me she definitely liked you...but she has unfinished business or was holding a torch for someone else...and possibly that person came back into her life and she has to take the opportunity.
I hate to admit ive been guilty of that.
Id you dont mind me asking..how old arw you guys. Eaely 20s, mid, late, 30s?
We make poor decisions like this until about 25 26...then we settle. At least most female Taurus i know.
Her last relationship ended at the end of 2018... She just recently moved to my city a few months ago for a job and to “fly the nest” away from her hometown.
We both recently just turned 24.click to expand
Ok so unlikely she rekindled with an ex. Maybe they are talking tho.
And if she just recently moved here prob keeping her options open.
Like others have said its prob not you, or the vomitting incident. Somethingthing within her told her to put it on pause.
Maybe she has a habit (like I) of putting other things on hold in a relationship and she doesnt want to do that.
There are 100 reasons. Dont take it personally.
You're both still young.
Posted by jeanePosted by sadgeminiPosted by jeane
she's told you what you should do. be her friend.
if you want more at this time then best find someone else who can go at the pace you desire.
Yeah, I understand that, and I respect her decision and what she needs right now. But do you think taurus women ever take you out of the friend zone once they put you there?
i think she might or she might not. however the best thing is for you to live in the moment and not have expectations that someday that will change.
in the meantime be a good friend and see where that takes you. you'll only end up resenting her if you hang your hat on the belief that one day she will change her mind only to find that she doesn't.click to expand
I’m unsure of my ability to be only her “friend,” I know that if I’m around her or near her, I’ll have that starry eyed look towards her. I think I need to just realllly back off to get my feelings settled before allowing myself to talk or see her.
I did fall really hard, really quick, so I think I need some time to slow myself down.... I respect that she takes things very slowly and I realize that’s something I need to do too.
I might’ve made the mistake of hastily telling her “I don’t know if I can look at you and just see you as a friend to me,” after she said that she thinks friends is our best form right now....
Does that mean being friends is now out of the question? I know I pushed hard but I was also trying to be vulnerable and open with how I really felt. Don’t know if that helped or hindered me.
Does that mean being friends is now out of the question? I know I pushed hard but I was also trying to be vulnerable and open with how I really felt. Don’t know if that helped or hindered me.
Posted by sadgemini
I might’ve made the mistake of hastily telling her “I don’t know if I can look at you and just see you as a friend to me,” after she said that she thinks friends is our best form right now....
Does that mean being friends is now out of the question? I know I pushed hard but I was also trying to be vulnerable and open with how I really felt. Don’t know if that helped or hindered me.
respecting her wishes didn't last long...
Posted by jeanePosted by sadgemini
I might’ve made the mistake of hastily telling her “I don’t know if I can look at you and just see you as a friend to me,” after she said that she thinks friends is our best form right now....
Does that mean being friends is now out of the question? I know I pushed hard but I was also trying to be vulnerable and open with how I really felt. Don’t know if that helped or hindered me.
respecting her wishes didn't last long...click to expand
I RESPECT her wishes but I also expressed how I felt..... I’m willing to just be her friend but i was honest with her that there would still be underlying emotions there for me.
Posted by sadgeminiPosted by jeanePosted by sadgemini
I might’ve made the mistake of hastily telling her “I don’t know if I can look at you and just see you as a friend to me,” after she said that she thinks friends is our best form right now....
Does that mean being friends is now out of the question? I know I pushed hard but I was also trying to be vulnerable and open with how I really felt. Don’t know if that helped or hindered me.
respecting her wishes didn't last long...
I RESPECT her wishes but I also expressed how I felt..... I’m willing to just be her friend but i was honest with her that there would still be underlying emotions there for me.click to expand
that's bullshit.
in telling her you heaped a whole lot of emotional pressure on her. what could her response be?
a) oh well, sucks to be you
b) oh let me just change my mind...
you did it for you. not for her. telling her made you feel better and as a result, made her feel worse.
that's not respect. that's a self serving attempt at manipulation.
now you're worried that your attempt has backfired.
Posted by jeanePosted by sadgeminiPosted by jeanePosted by sadgemini
I might’ve made the mistake of hastily telling her “I don’t know if I can look at you and just see you as a friend to me,” after she said that she thinks friends is our best form right now....
Does that mean being friends is now out of the question? I know I pushed hard but I was also trying to be vulnerable and open with how I really felt. Don’t know if that helped or hindered me.
respecting her wishes didn't last long...
I RESPECT her wishes but I also expressed how I felt..... I’m willing to just be her friend but i was honest with her that there would still be underlying emotions there for me.
that's bullshit.
in telling her you heaped a whole lot of emotional pressure on her. what could her response be?
a) oh well, sucks to be you
b) oh let me just change my mind...
you did it for you. not for her. telling her made you feel better and as a result, made her feel worse.
that's not respect. that's a self serving attempt at manipulation.
now you're worried that your attempt has backfired.click to expand
To be fair, it made me feel worse as well.
I just gotta leave it be I know I was very intense but so was she, up until she switched on me.
Talking about inviting me as her +1 for weddings, talking about being in it for the long haul, wanting to go on 40 dates, wanting to do everything she was doing (like camping) with me instead.
I got blindsided after I was already hung up on the idea that there could be a future there. So I think it’s only human that I can’t separate my romantic emotions aside from her at this point.
Posted by Phantom_LimboPosted by sadgeminiPosted by jeanePosted by sadgemini
I might’ve made the mistake of hastily telling her “I don’t know if I can look at you and just see you as a friend to me,” after she said that she thinks friends is our best form right now....
Does that mean being friends is now out of the question? I know I pushed hard but I was also trying to be vulnerable and open with how I really felt. Don’t know if that helped or hindered me.
respecting her wishes didn't last long...
I RESPECT her wishes but I also expressed how I felt..... I’m willing to just be her friend but i was honest with her that there would still be underlying emotions there for me.
I think it's a Gemini sun tendency to feel compelled to share the truth even when the other person doesn't want to hear it. I understand you, but it probably did/will make her step back even more.click to expand
YIKES my impulsivity will always leave me with regret. Would stick both my feet in my mouth if I could.
As an update - she reached out (barely).
Gonna see where this might go. Very, very slowly.
Gonna see where this might go. Very, very slowly.
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if you want more at this time then best find someone else who can go at the pace you desire.