Taurus man says he is attracted to me but only wants to be friends. Confused (Page 2)

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

You can be into fitness without posting pictures of yourself online.

I feel the need to say that after reading the past couple of pages.

It's 2020. And we are in the middle of quarantine. Most of my clients are online clients and the business I get is largely from word of mouth and social media. Most trainers I know advertise online and social media is a huge source of revenue. Yes, we post fitness photos because that is what attracts people who want to get into shape and want advice on how to do it.

But thanks for your thoughts!

What kind of clients? Are you a fitness trainer?

I can tell you as a woman with Taurus Venus and rising, I would not date someone whose job was to flirt online, and sorry, but that is how I view online "models".

Obviously you did not read the last few pages that you felt the need to comment on - yes, as I mentioned before, I am a personal trainer. When exactly did I say I was "flirting online". My clients are mostly female. But it does not stop men from commenting on my photos, comments I never reply to.

You are entitled to your opinion but I don't find your "advice" useful.

Well, I did read them. That's where I saw people talking about how terrible the Taurus is for not wanting you to pursue your fitness...but being into fitness, being a trainer, and posting pictures of yourself in a bikini are three different things. He probably just doesn't want to share his girlfriend with the world. That's a very Taurus thing.

click to expand

Well, that's not what he said. He said it had absolutely nothing to do with that, and everything to do with the "red flag" he sensed about me not being totally honest and hiding something - this is totally absurd to me because I was not hiding anything. In fact, I offered him to look through my phone and my social media account if he wants, because I was not talking to a single man the entire time I was seeing him.. even though realistically, it was a little too soon for him to demand all these things considering he was still talking to other women.

If my social media upsets him so much, why does he seem to go for online models, some of which have even more followers than me.. those are the types of women he is adding as friends (I checked), so why did it bother him so much with me and not with them?? Also, he knew what he was getting himself into from day 1. As I said before, he was the one who added me to his SM before we even started seeing each other. Yet, he still continued to get to know me, talk to me daily and go on dates with me. If this is a deal breaker for him, then he shouldn't go after women like that.

Again, we are in the middle of quarantine. Most of the trainers I know are barely getting by, since all the gyms have closed. Their only source of revenue comes from social media and online training. It's not my fault that men try to flirt with me online, even though I don't engage at all. But I guess, it's his choice if he doesn't want to put up with that, sure.

Still, I wish he never wasted my time, if this was such a deal breaker then. I like him way too much, way too fast, and his treatment of me was hurtful.

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

You can be into fitness without posting pictures of yourself online.

I feel the need to say that after reading the past couple of pages.

It's 2020. And we are in the middle of quarantine. Most of my clients are online clients and the business I get is largely from word of mouth and social media. Most trainers I know advertise online and social media is a huge source of revenue. Yes, we post fitness photos because that is what attracts people who want to get into shape and want advice on how to do it.

But thanks for your thoughts!

What kind of clients? Are you a fitness trainer?

I can tell you as a woman with Taurus Venus and rising, I would not date someone whose job was to flirt online, and sorry, but that is how I view online "models".

Obviously you did not read the last few pages that you felt the need to comment on - yes, as I mentioned before, I am a personal trainer. When exactly did I say I was "flirting online". My clients are mostly female. But it does not stop men from commenting on my photos, comments I never reply to.

You are entitled to your opinion but I don't find your "advice" useful.

Well, I did read them. That's where I saw people talking about how terrible the Taurus is for not wanting you to pursue your fitness...but being into fitness, being a trainer, and posting pictures of yourself in a bikini are three different things. He probably just doesn't want to share his girlfriend with the world. That's a very Taurus thing.

Well, that's not what he said. He said it had absolutely nothing to do with that, and everything to do with the "red flag" he sensed about me not being totally honest and hiding something - this is totally absurd to me because I was not hiding anything. In fact, I offered him to look through my phone and my social media account if he wants, because I was not talking to a single man the entire time I was seeing him.. even though realistically, it was a little too soon for him to demand all these things considering he was still talking to other women.

If my social media upsets him so much, why does he seem to go for online models, some of which have even more followers than me.. those are the types of women he is adding as friends (I checked), so why did it bother him so much with me and not with them?? Also, he knew what he was getting himself into from day 1. As I said before, he was the one who added me to his SM before we even started seeing each other. Yet, he still continued to get to know me, talk to me daily and go on dates with me. If this is a deal breaker for him, then he shouldn't go after women like that.

Again, we are in the middle of quarantine. Most of the trainers I know are barely getting by, since all the gyms have closed. Their only source of revenue comes from social media and online training. It's not my fault that men try to flirt with me online, even though I don't engage at all. But I guess, it's his choice if he doesn't want to put up with that, sure.

Still, I wish he never wasted my time, if this was such a deal breaker then. I like him way too much, way too fast, and his treatment of me was hurtful.

Well, I don't know if that's what bothered him. I can understand why he would say it's not the problem even if it is, though. I get judged for judging this behavior because it's so mainstream now. People assume I'm jealous of the women doing it or religious or something. It's impossible to explain what I dislike about it without insulting the people who do it, which is not something I like to do. A man saying he didn't like it would get even more judgment for the judging.

He may also have a Madonna/whore thing going on. If he's following a bunch of women online basically for soft-core porn reasons, do you see why he might not want the girl he dates to be one of them?

click to expand

So you're saying, at its core, the issue was the attention I get online, but he covered it up by saying it was something else? What is the point of him doing that?

I don't think posting pretty photos is soft core porn? The women I saw were pretty and had a lot of followers too, some of them stated they were "models" on their profiles. But they don't post anything sexual. I don't know, I guess it depends on someone's definition of soft core porn.

Yeah, I can see why he wouldn't want to "share me with the world" even though I gave him my undivided attention. I told him that if we got more serious down the road, I would have no problem restricting my SM, especially after this quarantine thing is done, but then he barked at me that "he doesn't want to tell me what to do."

Just felt like no matter what I did or said to try to fix it, he would get mad. And again, why waste my time if it was such a deal breaker. He knew this from day 1. And then he still wanted to remain friends, and hang out without kissing or affection, which made things even more confusing.

Posted by dillpickle

its beginning to sound like taurus was very physically attracted to OP. the immediate kissing, etc but the reality of her job got him feeling insecure so he decided to give in to it & let his ego take over.

OP move on from this dork. he aint worth feeling insecure over your job. or giving him this much thought.

You are definitely right about one thing.. giving it this much thought is def keeping me attached. Lesson to me not to develop feelings for someone based on chemistry alone, and wait to get to know the person..

Posted by dillpickle

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by dillpickle

its beginning to sound like taurus was very physically attracted to OP. the immediate kissing, etc but the reality of her job got him feeling insecure so he decided to give in to it & let his ego take over.

OP move on from this dork. he aint worth feeling insecure over your job. or giving him this much thought.

You are definitely right about one thing.. giving it this much thought is def keeping me attached. Lesson to me not to develop feelings for someone based on chemistry alone, and wait to get to know the person..

i know it’s hard bc we can obsess over certain bits of information when we are left in the dark but try & do something productive when those obsessive thoughts occur.

emotions come in waves, just ride them out & try not to let it get to you. do your fave fitness routine when you feel like it’s becoming too much.

click to expand

Thanks. That's good advice.

Posted by Fanta

Posted by dillpickle

Posted by Fanta

Posted by dillpickle

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

You can be into fitness without posting pictures of yourself online.

I feel the need to say that after reading the past couple of pages.

It's 2020. And we are in the middle of quarantine. Most of my clients are online clients and the business I get is largely from word of mouth and social media. Most trainers I know advertise online and social media is a huge source of revenue. Yes, we post fitness photos because that is what attracts people who want to get into shape and want advice on how to do it.

But thanks for your thoughts!

What kind of clients? Are you a fitness trainer?

I can tell you as a woman with Taurus Venus and rising, I would not date someone whose job was to flirt online, and sorry, but that is how I view online "models".

Obviously you did not read the last few pages that you felt the need to comment on - yes, as I mentioned before, I am a personal trainer. When exactly did I say I was "flirting online". My clients are mostly female. But it does not stop men from commenting on my photos, comments I never reply to.

You are entitled to your opinion but I don't find your "advice" useful.

Well, I did read them. That's where I saw people talking about how terrible the Taurus is for not wanting you to pursue your fitness...but being into fitness, being a trainer, and posting pictures of yourself in a bikini are three different things. He probably just doesn't want to share his girlfriend with the world. That's a very Taurus thing.

Well, that's not what he said. He said it had absolutely nothing to do with that, and everything to do with the "red flag" he sensed about me not being totally honest and hiding something - this is totally absurd to me because I was not hiding anything. In fact, I offered him to look through my phone and my social media account if he wants, because I was not talking to a single man the entire time I was seeing him.. even though realistically, it was a little too soon for him to demand all these things considering he was still talking to other women.

If my social media upsets him so much, why does he seem to go for online models, some of which have even more followers than me.. those are the types of women he is adding as friends (I checked), so why did it bother him so much with me and not with them?? Also, he knew what he was getting himself into from day 1. As I said before, he was the one who added me to his SM before we even started seeing each other. Yet, he still continued to get to know me, talk to me daily and go on dates with me. If this is a deal breaker for him, then he shouldn't go after women like that.

Again, we are in the middle of quarantine. Most of the trainers I know are barely getting by, since all the gyms have closed. Their only source of revenue comes from social media and online training. It's not my fault that men try to flirt with me online, even though I don't engage at all. But I guess, it's his choice if he doesn't want to put up with that, sure.

Still, I wish he never wasted my time, if this was such a deal breaker then. I like him way too much, way too fast, and his treatment of me was hurtful.

Well, I don't know if that's what bothered him. I can understand why he would say it's not the problem even if it is, though. I get judged for judging this behavior because it's so mainstream now. People assume I'm jealous of the women doing it or religious or something. It's impossible to explain what I dislike about it without insulting the people who do it, which is not something I like to do. A man saying he didn't like it would get even more judgment for the judging.

He may also have a Madonna/whore thing going on. If he's following a bunch of women online basically for soft-core porn reasons, do you see why he might not want the girl he dates to be one of them?

if this is the case, the taurus is an insecure lil ballsack who needs to get over himself or date a gremlin.

i see no problem w/ OP being a personal trainer & posting photos of her body on IG. her business depends on it. she is building her brand.

taurus needs to get over it & move on if he’s feeling some type a way about OP’s job.

He did move on. It's not about shaming her for me. I don't understand why anyone desires that sort of random attention.

idk if it’s really about her wanting attention tho? she has a business built on how she can shape bodies, it only makes sense for her to post her own. it likely helps her get more followers too. i rarely post my own body on my acct but when i do, it gets flooded w/ comments & new followers. it’s kind of a necessary evil in terms of body work stuff.

idk tho... i can see why he’d be insecure over it but then again, i think he’s stupid for letting it get to him & he should go for someone he wont feel threatened by.

ive noticed w/ my 2 taurus suns & 2 taurus moon friends, they are all kinda insecure w/ their bodies. everytime i take a pic w/ one of them, the first thing they comment on is how “weird” a part of their body looks.

one said “my thumb looks hella weird”. like no one’s looking at your thumb my b lmao

Yeah, I get it in her case. It's just the whole "look at me" culture. I don't like it. I find it tacky and shallow, and that dating someone who was a big part of it would drag me into. Know what I'm sayin? Maybe I'm just old.

I'm so awkward about photographs. lol I hate posing. I've managed to take a few selfies I don't hate, and there are some nice candid shots of me out there.

click to expand

He posts selfies too.

Posted by Fanta

Posted by dillpickle

Posted by Fanta

Posted by dillpickle

Posted by Fanta

Posted by dillpickle

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

You can be into fitness without posting pictures of yourself online.

I feel the need to say that after reading the past couple of pages.

It's 2020. And we are in the middle of quarantine. Most of my clients are online clients and the business I get is largely from word of mouth and social media. Most trainers I know advertise online and social media is a huge source of revenue. Yes, we post fitness photos because that is what attracts people who want to get into shape and want advice on how to do it.

But thanks for your thoughts!

What kind of clients? Are you a fitness trainer?

I can tell you as a woman with Taurus Venus and rising, I would not date someone whose job was to flirt online, and sorry, but that is how I view online "models".

Obviously you did not read the last few pages that you felt the need to comment on - yes, as I mentioned before, I am a personal trainer. When exactly did I say I was "flirting online". My clients are mostly female. But it does not stop men from commenting on my photos, comments I never reply to.

You are entitled to your opinion but I don't find your "advice" useful.

Well, I did read them. That's where I saw people talking about how terrible the Taurus is for not wanting you to pursue your fitness...but being into fitness, being a trainer, and posting pictures of yourself in a bikini are three different things. He probably just doesn't want to share his girlfriend with the world. That's a very Taurus thing.

Well, that's not what he said. He said it had absolutely nothing to do with that, and everything to do with the "red flag" he sensed about me not being totally honest and hiding something - this is totally absurd to me because I was not hiding anything. In fact, I offered him to look through my phone and my social media account if he wants, because I was not talking to a single man the entire time I was seeing him.. even though realistically, it was a little too soon for him to demand all these things considering he was still talking to other women.

If my social media upsets him so much, why does he seem to go for online models, some of which have even more followers than me.. those are the types of women he is adding as friends (I checked), so why did it bother him so much with me and not with them?? Also, he knew what he was getting himself into from day 1. As I said before, he was the one who added me to his SM before we even started seeing each other. Yet, he still continued to get to know me, talk to me daily and go on dates with me. If this is a deal breaker for him, then he shouldn't go after women like that.

Again, we are in the middle of quarantine. Most of the trainers I know are barely getting by, since all the gyms have closed. Their only source of revenue comes from social media and online training. It's not my fault that men try to flirt with me online, even though I don't engage at all. But I guess, it's his choice if he doesn't want to put up with that, sure.

Still, I wish he never wasted my time, if this was such a deal breaker then. I like him way too much, way too fast, and his treatment of me was hurtful.

Well, I don't know if that's what bothered him. I can understand why he would say it's not the problem even if it is, though. I get judged for judging this behavior because it's so mainstream now. People assume I'm jealous of the women doing it or religious or something. It's impossible to explain what I dislike about it without insulting the people who do it, which is not something I like to do. A man saying he didn't like it would get even more judgment for the judging.

He may also have a Madonna/whore thing going on. If he's following a bunch of women online basically for soft-core porn reasons, do you see why he might not want the girl he dates to be one of them?

if this is the case, the taurus is an insecure lil ballsack who needs to get over himself or date a gremlin.

i see no problem w/ OP being a personal trainer & posting photos of her body on IG. her business depends on it. she is building her brand.

taurus needs to get over it & move on if he’s feeling some type a way about OP’s job.

He did move on. It's not about shaming her for me. I don't understand why anyone desires that sort of random attention.

idk if it’s really about her wanting attention tho? she has a business built on how she can shape bodies, it only makes sense for her to post her own. it likely helps her get more followers too. i rarely post my own body on my acct but when i do, it gets flooded w/ comments & new followers. it’s kind of a necessary evil in terms of body work stuff.

idk tho... i can see why he’d be insecure over it but then again, i think he’s stupid for letting it get to him & he should go for someone he wont feel threatened by.

ive noticed w/ my 2 taurus suns & 2 taurus moon friends, they are all kinda insecure w/ their bodies. everytime i take a pic w/ one of them, the first thing they comment on is how “weird” a part of their body looks.

one said “my thumb looks hella weird”. like no one’s looking at your thumb my b lmao

Yeah, I get it in her case. It's just the whole "look at me" culture. I don't like it. I find it tacky and shallow, and that dating someone who was a big part of it would drag me into. Know what I'm sayin? Maybe I'm just old.

I'm so awkward about photographs. lol I hate posing. I've managed to take a few selfies I don't hate, and there are some nice candid shots of me out there.

oh i totally get it. i dont like selfies, i dont even like pics where you can kiiinda see me. but i also hate attention bc it makes me feel too “seen”. so i rarely post pics of myself & when i do, its never my face & the pics get deleted after a day.

i think OP should just date another trainer cuz he prob wouldnt have an issue w/ her life style & brand, ya know?

Yes! Or really anyone who is comfortable with the whole concept either because they like it or see it as a necessary evil.

You see what I mean when I say it's hard to explain what I dislike about it without being insulting? It's a personal preference, but a very strong one.

I like attention sometimes, but I want it to end when I'm ready, so drunken skinny-dipping is fine, but I don't want it online. lol

click to expand

My stuff online is tasteful. He posts selfies too. He just doesn't get as much attention from the opposite sex. His way is more "behind the scenes" - as in dating sites, and talking to women through private messages on social media.. like I don't know what he's up to. Please.

My stuff is out there because I have nothing to hide. His stuff is hidden because he does. The lack of trust is likely on some level projection - because he knows he is talking to other people so he assumes, based on how much attention I get, that I am too... but I was actually not.

Funny how he wants so much honesty, but the magnifying glass was always pointed in my direction and never on his life.

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

Posted by dillpickle

Posted by Fanta

Posted by dillpickle

Posted by Fanta

Posted by dillpickle

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Fanta

You can be into fitness without posting pictures of yourself online.

I feel the need to say that after reading the past couple of pages.

It's 2020. And we are in the middle of quarantine. Most of my clients are online clients and the business I get is largely from word of mouth and social media. Most trainers I know advertise online and social media is a huge source of revenue. Yes, we post fitness photos because that is what attracts people who want to get into shape and want advice on how to do it.

But thanks for your thoughts!

What kind of clients? Are you a fitness trainer?

I can tell you as a woman with Taurus Venus and rising, I would not date someone whose job was to flirt online, and sorry, but that is how I view online "models".

Obviously you did not read the last few pages that you felt the need to comment on - yes, as I mentioned before, I am a personal trainer. When exactly did I say I was "flirting online". My clients are mostly female. But it does not stop men from commenting on my photos, comments I never reply to.

You are entitled to your opinion but I don't find your "advice" useful.

Well, I did read them. That's where I saw people talking about how terrible the Taurus is for not wanting you to pursue your fitness...but being into fitness, being a trainer, and posting pictures of yourself in a bikini are three different things. He probably just doesn't want to share his girlfriend with the world. That's a very Taurus thing.

Well, that's not what he said. He said it had absolutely nothing to do with that, and everything to do with the "red flag" he sensed about me not being totally honest and hiding something - this is totally absurd to me because I was not hiding anything. In fact, I offered him to look through my phone and my social media account if he wants, because I was not talking to a single man the entire time I was seeing him.. even though realistically, it was a little too soon for him to demand all these things considering he was still talking to other women.

If my social media upsets him so much, why does he seem to go for online models, some of which have even more followers than me.. those are the types of women he is adding as friends (I checked), so why did it bother him so much with me and not with them?? Also, he knew what he was getting himself into from day 1. As I said before, he was the one who added me to his SM before we even started seeing each other. Yet, he still continued to get to know me, talk to me daily and go on dates with me. If this is a deal breaker for him, then he shouldn't go after women like that.

Again, we are in the middle of quarantine. Most of the trainers I know are barely getting by, since all the gyms have closed. Their only source of revenue comes from social media and online training. It's not my fault that men try to flirt with me online, even though I don't engage at all. But I guess, it's his choice if he doesn't want to put up with that, sure.

Still, I wish he never wasted my time, if this was such a deal breaker then. I like him way too much, way too fast, and his treatment of me was hurtful.

Well, I don't know if that's what bothered him. I can understand why he would say it's not the problem even if it is, though. I get judged for judging this behavior because it's so mainstream now. People assume I'm jealous of the women doing it or religious or something. It's impossible to explain what I dislike about it without insulting the people who do it, which is not something I like to do. A man saying he didn't like it would get even more judgment for the judging.

He may also have a Madonna/whore thing going on. If he's following a bunch of women online basically for soft-core porn reasons, do you see why he might not want the girl he dates to be one of them?

if this is the case, the taurus is an insecure lil ballsack who needs to get over himself or date a gremlin.

i see no problem w/ OP being a personal trainer & posting photos of her body on IG. her business depends on it. she is building her brand.

taurus needs to get over it & move on if he’s feeling some type a way about OP’s job.

He did move on. It's not about shaming her for me. I don't understand why anyone desires that sort of random attention.

idk if it’s really about her wanting attention tho? she has a business built on how she can shape bodies, it only makes sense for her to post her own. it likely helps her get more followers too. i rarely post my own body on my acct but when i do, it gets flooded w/ comments & new followers. it’s kind of a necessary evil in terms of body work stuff.

idk tho... i can see why he’d be insecure over it but then again, i think he’s stupid for letting it get to him & he should go for someone he wont feel threatened by.

ive noticed w/ my 2 taurus suns & 2 taurus moon friends, they are all kinda insecure w/ their bodies. everytime i take a pic w/ one of them, the first thing they comment on is how “weird” a part of their body looks.

one said “my thumb looks hella weird”. like no one’s looking at your thumb my b lmao

Yeah, I get it in her case. It's just the whole "look at me" culture. I don't like it. I find it tacky and shallow, and that dating someone who was a big part of it would drag me into. Know what I'm sayin? Maybe I'm just old.

I'm so awkward about photographs. lol I hate posing. I've managed to take a few selfies I don't hate, and there are some nice candid shots of me out there.

oh i totally get it. i dont like selfies, i dont even like pics where you can kiiinda see me. but i also hate attention bc it makes me feel too “seen”. so i rarely post pics of myself & when i do, its never my face & the pics get deleted after a day.

i think OP should just date another trainer cuz he prob wouldnt have an issue w/ her life style & brand, ya know?

Yes! Or really anyone who is comfortable with the whole concept either because they like it or see it as a necessary evil.

You see what I mean when I say it's hard to explain what I dislike about it without being insulting? It's a personal preference, but a very strong one.

I like attention sometimes, but I want it to end when I'm ready, so drunken skinny-dipping is fine, but I don't want it online. lol

My stuff online is tasteful. He posts selfies too. He just doesn't get as much attention from the opposite sex. His way is more "behind the scenes" - as in dating sites, and talking to women through private messages on social media.. like I don't know what he's up to. Please.

My stuff is out there because I have nothing to hide. His stuff is hidden because he does. The lack of trust is likely on some level projection - because he knows he is talking to other people so he assumes, based on how much attention I get, that I am too... but I was actually not.

Funny how he wants so much honesty, but the magnifying glass was always pointed in my direction and never on his life.

If you know he's doing all that and how he feels, what is this thread all about?

click to expand

I have no clue how he feels.. I just had a huntch what he was doing. And tbh even that is reaching because unless I read the contents of his phone, I really would have no idea.

The thread was started to tell my story and get others' point of view. Preferably from Taurus men, or those who have a lot of experiencing dealing with Taurus men. Since my experience is really limited.

I've mostly dated Aries (mistakes, all of them), Capricorns (the ones who left their mark) and other water signs (Pisces, Cancer and Scorp) who seem to understand me best.

That said, all my best friends are Taurus and we seem to get along really well as friends, but I see even from their behavior, how careful one would have to be dating them. They are very mistrusting people and I thought Scorpio took the cake in the trust issues category.

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by jeane

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Metatron

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Metatron

Posted by ScorpV1_

Wow... sorry you went through that. I think Taurus men go with the friends thing because they have a hard time letting go.. so they will keep you in their life because it's easier for them to still have you there in the background, while they occupy their time with someone else and never actually have to face the emotions of getting over you.

Its sorta true. I mean I do have a hard time letting go, but I don't ever see myself as "getting over" people. If I loved them, I can always remember why - always go back to when my emotions peaked in the relationship - and I tend to always hold them in that regard, on that pedestal, somewhat. That was the best of our chemistry, or them at their best, etc., even if they ultimately wanted to murder me. I think the height of things is something to respect, to cherish, and if a friendship can be preserved that honors that and allows you to hold onto some of them, all the better, because I can go on loving that person, just in a different way....So yeah, it makes it easier. If the energy is too love/hate, or the person is too all or nothing, etc., I can totally understand them feeling like that type of situation would just keep them stuck though...

This is a very short relationship you two had, but maybe the chemistry was just that strong; I can't judge it. I've met people and felt things at first, that lasted and even got stronger, that I don't even have categories for. I will say that there is a certain type of chemistry, and I did feel it with a Scorpio, where the jealousy/control aspects get so heightened, that I definitely would want to spare that person and myself the burden of it all, and see them happier with someone they're more compatible with, can be more of themselves around, etc. Related to what you said about his other female friends, I also can have connections with other women, that maybe aren't as heavy/emotional, to where they can do all the same things, and I don't freak out about it or sometimes even care at all. I can also say I've pushed relationships back to friend status, given things more time, allowed trust to build, and then found ways to work through/around some of these issues....For me, the friend category isn't about demoting someone, quite the opposite - its actually about me learning to respect them and their personal freedom/identity properly again...

Everyone is really just speculating about his motives, projecting their past experiences, myself included...but I definitely can relate to his actions in ways, and I have no idea what your social media looks like but I remember seeing my Sag's SM and thinking "no possible way I can be with a girl like this" lol. Even recently SM issues almost caused a breakup. Our courtship, and ultimately reaching any level of commitment/exclusivity took forever, and has been on & off and changed so many times still. The Gem in this thread said something about Taurus being one of the worst signs to crush on, and, at least speaking for myself, I agree completely. I try to be really up-front about that, and so many of my flaws/quirks, how slow I am, etc.....and I can see the writing on the wall if the chemistry is at a certain level and will openly/actively tell the person to run, and be happy for them if they do. Being practical just isn't something a lot of people want to do in the face of strong emotion though, especially water signs....I'd just say be thankful that this is still early and the hooks are not in too deep on either end....

Honestly, I would loved to stay friends and build that trust, but if he's that mistrusting and that insecure, he should have started off by being my friend first. As a Scorpio, I simply cannot have intense passion with someone and then, it what seemed like the blink of an eye, totally scale that back to just hanging out. I gave it the ol college try and still met up with him on friendly terms..but after he looked me in the eyes, made a comment about "my beautiful body", and then quickly said he had to leave... it was in that moment that I realized I just couldn't do it. And I'm not going to torture myself just so that someone can slowly maybe trust me or maybe not..depending on how things go.

About my social media, I am a personal trainer and have a lot of followers and about 400-500 comments under each photo ...all from men, not going to lie. I post a lot of fitness content, so bikini photos too..but all tasteful. He knew this about me from day 1. We added each other on SM before we had our first date. So he shouldn't have wasted my time if this is such an issue for him... again, I know for a fact he's talking to other women, who are also attractive and have a lot of followers. But I get your point that it may have bothered him with me more than others... although I have a hard time wrapping my head around it.

oh man you're a fitness chick lol....I get it; you're doing the right thing....yeah he probably can't even handle the friendship....and really, this is related to your career so its not anything you would want to adjust in the slightest over someone else's insecurity....

Haha I love how you started off by saying"oh man" lol... why's that?

I'm fit, but not a body builder.. more like the fitness model body type. I work really hard to look this way...it's not fair that someone has to make me feel bad about it. Fitness is my passion. And he is really not in shape.. he used to be really fit.. and I remember im making comments about his "training days" and how he "doesn't look like that anymore" on the day we were supposed to have our first date. Almost like he was warning me in advance. He even said for me not to "get my hopes up" about his body.. I'll admit, he's a bit scrawny but I am not overly superficial and I still find him attractive. Plus, he brags about having dated models and actresses... so he clearly gets women and should be confident about that.

you're a pt? i can imagine that would drive him nuts.

to me he sounds very insecure. you're taking what he is saying at face value (which is logical) but i wouldn't believe everything he says. i suspect he feels like you are better than him and he's punching above his weight with you. the models and actresses thing i would take with a pinch of salt....maybe back in the day.

from my experience, taurus can be very sensitive creatures. they are going to also protect and quickly retreat if they sense a chance of their feelings getting hurt. friendship for them can be a way of slowly dipping a toe in. understandably, going back to friendship when you've gone beyond that can be difficult. i've had my own experience with that move.

as i said i my original post. this is his issue. certainly not yours.

Thanks. It's my Aries Moon. It causes me to take everything people say at face value, because I am so blunt and direct. So I always expect other people to be equally blunt and direct. But I noticed when we were arguing, that his excuses were not always making sense.. because he kept changing his explanation... so obviously he wasn't really being truthful.

And yes, I wish we just started as friends only. But the first time we hung out, he kissed me within the first 3 minutes of seeing me, while I was mid-sentence talking.... and by the end of our date, he was kissing my hand constantly and hugging me constantly... and things just kept getting more and more intense.. so how do you go from that to just hanging out? I just couldn't do it.

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obviously he was being led with his little head when you first met. maybe he did think he'd just get his end away and that would be the comfortable position he would keep you in. i know for a lot a taurus being sexual nearly always means an emotive element tags along for the ride so that theory often backfires.

i'm not convinced that being friends would have helped in this situation. i think having your partner posing in a bikini and then publicly posted could be a challenge for some possessive taurus. that he already follows lots of women who do that could mean he has the mentality of "yeah you'd bang them but you wouldn't take them home to mum."

unfortunately a lot of taurus men are very old fashioned and very conservative.

I think a lot of us are happy to shoot the shit about what might have happened, but we're only so useful, because we could be way off about what the issues are/were and the whys/motives even if we knew for sure. We're working with even less info than you have.

lol this is what my Taurus best friend says to me every time I ask for an opinion 🙂

I tell you, if I could have one super power, it would be to read minds. It would save me so much heartache.

Yeah he was super emotional when we made out. And it was his idea not to have sex as much as it was mine. He said he wanted to go for dinner first lol yes very traditional.

The sex talk only came up when I told him one time that I like to take things very slow.. his reply was "define 'very slow'... are we talking a year—" That's when I told him that I did not have a timeline, but it would only be at the point where we are exclusive. He said that was fine, and he respects that.

Then, one night we got hot and heavy at my place, I reminded him not to take it too far because we are not exclusive yet and that's what I need to be able to take that step. He got really defensive and said "that's fine, but I hope you understand I'm not just going to jump into a relationship with someone I just met." Then he said "the same reason you have your guard up, is the same reason I talk to multiple women, because my guard is up to." i told him that's fine we can take it slow I was just reminding him of my rules.

I don't know.. I'm starting to feel like I analyzed this way too much and maybe I just need to start trying to let it go now.. just having a hard time with it.

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You can be into fitness without posting pictures of yourself online.

I feel the need to say that after reading the past couple of pages.

It's 2020. And we are in the middle of quarantine. Most of my clients are online clients and the business I get is largely from word of mouth and social media. Most trainers I know advertise online and social media is a huge source of revenue. Yes, we post fitness photos because that is what attracts people who want to get into shape and want advice on how to do it.

But thanks for your thoughts!

What kind of clients? Are you a fitness trainer?

I can tell you as a woman with Taurus Venus and rising, I would not date someone whose job was to flirt online, and sorry, but that is how I view online "models".

Obviously you did not read the last few pages that you felt the need to comment on - yes, as I mentioned before, I am a personal trainer. When exactly did I say I was "flirting online". My clients are mostly female. But it does not stop men from commenting on my photos, comments I never reply to.

You are entitled to your opinion but I don't find your "advice" useful.

Well, I did read them. That's where I saw people talking about how terrible the Taurus is for not wanting you to pursue your fitness...but being into fitness, being a trainer, and posting pictures of yourself in a bikini are three different things. He probably just doesn't want to share his girlfriend with the world. That's a very Taurus thing.

Well, that's not what he said. He said it had absolutely nothing to do with that, and everything to do with the "red flag" he sensed about me not being totally honest and hiding something - this is totally absurd to me because I was not hiding anything. In fact, I offered him to look through my phone and my social media account if he wants, because I was not talking to a single man the entire time I was seeing him.. even though realistically, it was a little too soon for him to demand all these things considering he was still talking to other women.

If my social media upsets him so much, why does he seem to go for online models, some of which have even more followers than me.. those are the types of women he is adding as friends (I checked), so why did it bother him so much with me and not with them?? Also, he knew what he was getting himself into from day 1. As I said before, he was the one who added me to his SM before we even started seeing each other. Yet, he still continued to get to know me, talk to me daily and go on dates with me. If this is a deal breaker for him, then he shouldn't go after women like that.

Again, we are in the middle of quarantine. Most of the trainers I know are barely getting by, since all the gyms have closed. Their only source of revenue comes from social media and online training. It's not my fault that men try to flirt with me online, even though I don't engage at all. But I guess, it's his choice if he doesn't want to put up with that, sure.

Still, I wish he never wasted my time, if this was such a deal breaker then. I like him way too much, way too fast, and his treatment of me was hurtful.

Well, I don't know if that's what bothered him. I can understand why he would say it's not the problem even if it is, though. I get judged for judging this behavior because it's so mainstream now. People assume I'm jealous of the women doing it or religious or something. It's impossible to explain what I dislike about it without insulting the people who do it, which is not something I like to do. A man saying he didn't like it would get even more judgment for the judging.

He may also have a Madonna/whore thing going on. If he's following a bunch of women online basically for soft-core porn reasons, do you see why he might not want the girl he dates to be one of them?

if this is the case, the taurus is an insecure lil ballsack who needs to get over himself or date a gremlin.

i see no problem w/ OP being a personal trainer & posting photos of her body on IG. her business depends on it. she is building her brand.

taurus needs to get over it & move on if he’s feeling some type a way about OP’s job.

He did move on. It's not about shaming her for me. I don't understand why anyone desires that sort of random attention.

idk if it’s really about her wanting attention tho? she has a business built on how she can shape bodies, it only makes sense for her to post her own. it likely helps her get more followers too. i rarely post my own body on my acct but when i do, it gets flooded w/ comments & new followers. it’s kind of a necessary evil in terms of body work stuff.

idk tho... i can see why he’d be insecure over it but then again, i think he’s stupid for letting it get to him & he should go for someone he wont feel threatened by.

ive noticed w/ my 2 taurus suns & 2 taurus moon friends, they are all kinda insecure w/ their bodies. everytime i take a pic w/ one of them, the first thing they comment on is how “weird” a part of their body looks.

one said “my thumb looks hella weird”. like no one’s looking at your thumb my b lmao

Yeah, I get it in her case. It's just the whole "look at me" culture. I don't like it. I find it tacky and shallow, and that dating someone who was a big part of it would drag me into. Know what I'm sayin? Maybe I'm just old.

I'm so awkward about photographs. lol I hate posing. I've managed to take a few selfies I don't hate, and there are some nice candid shots of me out there.

oh i totally get it. i dont like selfies, i dont even like pics where you can kiiinda see me. but i also hate attention bc it makes me feel too “seen”. so i rarely post pics of myself & when i do, its never my face & the pics get deleted after a day.

i think OP should just date another trainer cuz he prob wouldnt have an issue w/ her life style & brand, ya know?

Yes! Or really anyone who is comfortable with the whole concept either because they like it or see it as a necessary evil.

You see what I mean when I say it's hard to explain what I dislike about it without being insulting? It's a personal preference, but a very strong one.

I like attention sometimes, but I want it to end when I'm ready, so drunken skinny-dipping is fine, but I don't want it online. lol

My stuff online is tasteful. He posts selfies too. He just doesn't get as much attention from the opposite sex. His way is more "behind the scenes" - as in dating sites, and talking to women through private messages on social media.. like I don't know what he's up to. Please.

My stuff is out there because I have nothing to hide. His stuff is hidden because he does. The lack of trust is likely on some level projection - because he knows he is talking to other people so he assumes, based on how much attention I get, that I am too... but I was actually not.

Funny how he wants so much honesty, but the magnifying glass was always pointed in my direction and never on his life.

If you know he's doing all that and how he feels, what is this thread all about?

I have no clue how he feels.. I just had a huntch what he was doing. And tbh even that is reaching because unless I read the contents of his phone, I really would have no idea.

The thread was started to tell my story and get others' point of view. Preferably from Taurus men, or those who have a lot of experiencing dealing with Taurus men. Since my experience is really limited.

I've mostly dated Aries (mistakes, all of them), Capricorns (the ones who left their mark) and other water signs (Pisces, Cancer and Scorp) who seem to understand me best.

That said, all my best friends are Taurus and we seem to get along really well as friends, but I see even from their behavior, how careful one would have to be dating them. They are very mistrusting people and I thought Scorpio took the cake in the trust issues category.

I think a lot of us are happy to shoot the shit about what might have happened, but we're only so useful, because we could be way off about what the issues are/were and the whys/motives even if we knew for sure. We're working with even less info than you have.

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BTW, how do you reduce a quote on here? I was trying

Posted by ScorpV1_

lol yeah I'm curvy. But he has other "curvy" women on his SM.

Fitness or not, he is on multiple dating sites (which I know for a fact) and I see him adding attractive women to his social media almost on a daily basis. I can't help it, Scorpios snoop. Yes, I looked and observed, but never said a word about it. He definitely has charisma and obviously attracts women. Of course, I do not know the extent of their interactions or if they led to anything more than just chatting.. but every time he pulled away from me and I noticed his social media activity, I always assumed it's because he was diverting his attention elsewhere...not because he was insecure about the attention I get. Again, I don't reply to any of the comments under my photos.

The difference between him and I is, I never mentioned any of this. I just quietly observed and waited to see where things go with us. Did it make me feel insecure? Yeah, sometimes. But I trusted what I felt between us and told myself it's wayyy too soon to be expecting exclusivity.

I mean, I have my own insecurities too, just like anybody. I don't act on them though. I try really hard to stay calm and be patient.

When he got mad at me and said the whole "let's just be friends" thing.. he honestly made me feel like I was forcing a relationship on him and I never did... that's the only reason his behavior confuses me.. probably when my feelings fade, I will be able to see this more clearly and maybe I will realize he was just way too insecure and mistrusting to be able to have a healthy relationship with me. I definitely felt that about him. But right now, I'm still hurt about all the things he said and it's hard for me to see past that. He made it seem like it had nothing to do with my SM, trust issues or insecurities and everything to do with him just wanting to be single and talk to multiple women (something Scorpios just LOVE to hear). Was that his way of diverting attention away from his own issues, and putting this whole thing on me? (Apparently, I'm the one arguing, I'm the one with the expectations.. meanwhile I was just being honest, trying to have open communications, and not the one who started the argument about my SM).

I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing at all. My girl's Gemini trainer is a close friend to both of us, is a fitness model and actually interviewing to get on some reality TV shows currently, and she is one of the most loyal, down-to-earth, mature people I've met, but also just really trying to get her career going and is savvy to how much promotion of her image (which she's worked very hard to attain) is key to that. I appreciate the honesty around your own "snooping" and insecurity; would've been cool, if the issue *is* his insecurity, had he been more honest around it, and you could both eventually speak to the reasons/motivations behind your online behavior to put the other at ease.

Looks like he may have just been forecasting negatively in his head, knowing where his emotions were leading, whereas you were willing to give it more time....Aries Venus impulsivity in love could explain a lot of his initial passion, and then backing off...I've read a lot on here that Aries Venus with Scorp Venus is very strong chemistry as well....I think, even if he's hiding the real reasoning here, its somewhat understandable. Very few people are in touch enough to admit to their deepest insecurities. Jealousy seems to be publicly perceived as one of the worst qualities, but I find most people manifest it in some form or another. Hey, at least you were mature enough to not go in the opposite direction and try to intentionally make him more jealous as a form of revenge for backing off, now that you know he might have that weakness....can't say I haven't seen it....

Posted by ScorpV1_

I tell you, if I could have one super power, it would be to read minds. It would save me so much heartache.

I've thought about it and came to the opposite conclusion - that total access to another's thoughts would probably eliminate love altogether....I think there's good reason to have a separate/private mental life - particularly of the imagination/fantasy, and I think its debatable how much SM and other online endeavors are an extension of that....kinda where I've gotten with my girl - we have a don't ask/don't tell/don't snoop policy around things now....there's the occasional breach, but I just know if either one of us spies on the other too much, there's *always* going to be some drama that comes up, and its so much better to just be at peace, trust to a degree, but also realize that neither of us are perfect....Anything I've ever grilled her about, I was guilty of in some form or another....I can't imagine being able to snoop through her daily thoughts lol....

Posted by Metatron

Posted by ScorpV1_

lol yeah I'm curvy. But he has other "curvy" women on his SM.

Fitness or not, he is on multiple dating sites (which I know for a fact) and I see him adding attractive women to his social media almost on a daily basis. I can't help it, Scorpios snoop. Yes, I looked and observed, but never said a word about it. He definitely has charisma and obviously attracts women. Of course, I do not know the extent of their interactions or if they led to anything more than just chatting.. but every time he pulled away from me and I noticed his social media activity, I always assumed it's because he was diverting his attention elsewhere...not because he was insecure about the attention I get. Again, I don't reply to any of the comments under my photos.

The difference between him and I is, I never mentioned any of this. I just quietly observed and waited to see where things go with us. Did it make me feel insecure? Yeah, sometimes. But I trusted what I felt between us and told myself it's wayyy too soon to be expecting exclusivity.

I mean, I have my own insecurities too, just like anybody. I don't act on them though. I try really hard to stay calm and be patient.

When he got mad at me and said the whole "let's just be friends" thing.. he honestly made me feel like I was forcing a relationship on him and I never did... that's the only reason his behavior confuses me.. probably when my feelings fade, I will be able to see this more clearly and maybe I will realize he was just way too insecure and mistrusting to be able to have a healthy relationship with me. I definitely felt that about him. But right now, I'm still hurt about all the things he said and it's hard for me to see past that. He made it seem like it had nothing to do with my SM, trust issues or insecurities and everything to do with him just wanting to be single and talk to multiple women (something Scorpios just LOVE to hear). Was that his way of diverting attention away from his own issues, and putting this whole thing on me? (Apparently, I'm the one arguing, I'm the one with the expectations.. meanwhile I was just being honest, trying to have open communications, and not the one who started the argument about my SM).

I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing at all. My girl's Gemini trainer is a close friend to both of us, is a fitness model and actually interviewing to get on some reality TV shoes currently, and she is one of the most loyal, down-to-earth, mature people I've met, but also just really trying to get her career going and is savvy to how much promotion of her image (which she's worked very hard to attain) is key to that. I appreciate the honesty around your own "snooping" and insecurity; would've been cool, if the issue *is* his insecurity, had he been more honest around it, and you could both eventually speak to the reasons/motivations behind your online behavior to put the other at ease.

Looks like he may have just been forecasting negatively in his head, knowing where his emotions were leading, whereas you were willing to give it more time....Aries Venus impulsivity in love could explain a lot of his initial passion, and then backing off...I've read a lot on here that Aries Venus with Scorp Venus is very strong chemistry as well....I think, even if he's hiding the real reasoning here, its somewhat understandable. Very few people are in touch enough to admit to their deepest insecurities. Jealousy seems to be publicly perceived as one of the worst qualities, but I find most people manifest it in some form or another. Hey, at least you were mature enough to not go in the opposite direction and try to intentionally make him more jealous as a form of revenge for backing off, now that you know he might have that weakness....can't say I haven't seen it....

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Well put.

Was his request to remain friends and hang out with no intimacy not his own way of trying to give it more time? I don't understand what his end goal was. I wish he didn't have the "no intimacy" rule and just let us have more time, period. Without the rules of what "can" and "cannot" happen. Not that I wanted to sleep with him so soon..but sitting next to someone, wanting to kiss them and feeling the tension in the air...but not being able to act on it (because he wanted to avoid it, so that the situation does not get more complicated) is not my idea of a "fun friendly get together." My passion is something really hard to control. It's all or nothing for me.

Posted by sagaciouscorp

Posted by ScorpV1_

Yeah he was super emotional when we made out. And it was his idea not to have sex as much as it was mine. He said he wanted to go for dinner first lol yes very traditional.

The sex talk only came up when I told him one time that I like to take things very slow.. his reply was "define 'very slow'... are we talking a year—" That's when I told him that I did not have a timeline, but it would only be at the point where we are exclusive. He said that was fine, and he respects that.

Then, one night we got hot and heavy at my place, I reminded him not to take it too far because we are not exclusive yet and that's what I need to be able to take that step. He got really defensive and said "that's fine, but I hope you understand I'm not just going to jump into a relationship with someone I just met." Then he said "the same reason you have your guard up, is the same reason I talk to multiple women, because my guard is up to." i told him that's fine we can take it slow I was just reminding him of my rules.

I don't know.. I'm starting to feel like I analyzed this way too much and maybe I just need to start trying to let it go now.. just having a hard time with it.

Etc is that supposed to mean the same way u have ur guard up he talks to multiple women because he has his too? Triangulation? Get u jealous ?

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Let me clarify. I told him that I have my guard up with new people and don't let them into my inner thoughts easy (because he kept calling me 'mysterious' and saying he doesn't understand why I can't be more free and open)...so later on, he used that same explanation against me when he was justifying why he talks to multiple women until he trusts someone. He was trying to tell me that, me having my guard up is the same as him having his guard up, but we show it in different ways (i.e. I have my guard up by being mysterious and he has his guard up by keeping his options open).

It's hard to explain all of our conversations in short form. Honestly, unless someone was a fly on our wall listening to what was being said, it's hard for me to convey it all here.

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Metatron

Posted by ScorpV1_

lol yeah I'm curvy. But he has other "curvy" women on his SM.

Fitness or not, he is on multiple dating sites (which I know for a fact) and I see him adding attractive women to his social media almost on a daily basis. I can't help it, Scorpios snoop. Yes, I looked and observed, but never said a word about it. He definitely has charisma and obviously attracts women. Of course, I do not know the extent of their interactions or if they led to anything more than just chatting.. but every time he pulled away from me and I noticed his social media activity, I always assumed it's because he was diverting his attention elsewhere...not because he was insecure about the attention I get. Again, I don't reply to any of the comments under my photos.

The difference between him and I is, I never mentioned any of this. I just quietly observed and waited to see where things go with us. Did it make me feel insecure? Yeah, sometimes. But I trusted what I felt between us and told myself it's wayyy too soon to be expecting exclusivity.

I mean, I have my own insecurities too, just like anybody. I don't act on them though. I try really hard to stay calm and be patient.

When he got mad at me and said the whole "let's just be friends" thing.. he honestly made me feel like I was forcing a relationship on him and I never did... that's the only reason his behavior confuses me.. probably when my feelings fade, I will be able to see this more clearly and maybe I will realize he was just way too insecure and mistrusting to be able to have a healthy relationship with me. I definitely felt that about him. But right now, I'm still hurt about all the things he said and it's hard for me to see past that. He made it seem like it had nothing to do with my SM, trust issues or insecurities and everything to do with him just wanting to be single and talk to multiple women (something Scorpios just LOVE to hear). Was that his way of diverting attention away from his own issues, and putting this whole thing on me? (Apparently, I'm the one arguing, I'm the one with the expectations.. meanwhile I was just being honest, trying to have open communications, and not the one who started the argument about my SM).

I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing at all. My girl's Gemini trainer is a close friend to both of us, is a fitness model and actually interviewing to get on some reality TV shoes currently, and she is one of the most loyal, down-to-earth, mature people I've met, but also just really trying to get her career going and is savvy to how much promotion of her image (which she's worked very hard to attain) is key to that. I appreciate the honesty around your own "snooping" and insecurity; would've been cool, if the issue *is* his insecurity, had he been more honest around it, and you could both eventually speak to the reasons/motivations behind your online behavior to put the other at ease.

Looks like he may have just been forecasting negatively in his head, knowing where his emotions were leading, whereas you were willing to give it more time....Aries Venus impulsivity in love could explain a lot of his initial passion, and then backing off...I've read a lot on here that Aries Venus with Scorp Venus is very strong chemistry as well....I think, even if he's hiding the real reasoning here, its somewhat understandable. Very few people are in touch enough to admit to their deepest insecurities. Jealousy seems to be publicly perceived as one of the worst qualities, but I find most people manifest it in some form or another. Hey, at least you were mature enough to not go in the opposite direction and try to intentionally make him more jealous as a form of revenge for backing off, now that you know he might have that weakness....can't say I haven't seen it....

Well put.

Was his request to remain friends and hang out with no intimacy not his own way of trying to give it more time? I don't understand what his end goal was. I wish he didn't have the "no intimacy" rule and just let us have more time, period. Without the rules of what "can" and "cannot" happen. Not that I wanted to sleep with him so soon..but sitting next to someone, wanting to kiss them and feeling the tension in the air...but not being able to act on it (because he wanted to avoid it, so that the situation does not get more complicated) is not my idea of a "fun friendly get together." My passion is something really hard to control. It's all or nothing for me.

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can't answer for him...if it was me? Yes absolutely lol....I've done that often. And I'm not "all or nothing" by any means, plus I do have really good self-control around matters of sex, but I do get where you're coming from completely - there's always that certain person that restraint isn't possible with. Seems like its probably that way for him as well, based on the comments he made when you last got together....I've said on here multiple times - if you want to overcome all of a Taurus's reservations, usually revolving mostly around insecurities and all the time they need to be sure they can live with whatever ones you stir up, the main thing is just to put yourself in their presence as much as possible....I have all sorts of "standards" I've tossed aside, because I just eventually felt too comfortable around that person to let them go....

Posted by sagaciouscorp

Yeah but he’s banking on that n so things lead to another n he can get his hands clean

He warned u n told you. I suspect ex Taurus did that for same reason. Zero accountability as he told u were u stand knowing things will lead to another

ohhhh so you're saying, he likely would have been intimate and then say "hey I warned you I just want to be friends?"

....but he left abruptly when the tension started heating up. He specifically left when we started staring at each other, so nothing would happen.

Honestly, I'm so confused I don't even know what to think anymore.

Posted by Metatron

Posted by ScorpV1_

I tell you, if I could have one super power, it would be to read minds. It would save me so much heartache.

I've thought about it and came to the opposite conclusion - that total access to another's thoughts would probably eliminate love altogether....I think there's good reason to have a separate/private mental life - particularly of the imagination/fantasy, and I think its debatable how much SM and other online endeavors are an extension of that....kinda where I've gotten with my girl - we have a don't ask/don't tell/don't snoop policy around things now....there's the occasional breach, but I just know if either one of us spies on the other too much, there's *always* going to be some drama that comes up, and its so much better to just be at peace, trust to a degree, but also realize that neither of us are perfect....Anything I've ever grilled her about, I was guilty of in some form or another....I can't imagine being able to snoop through her daily thoughts lol....

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Yeah that's a good point. Hopefully I would have the restraint to only use my super powers when necessary i.e. in a situation like this lol

What sign is your gf?

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Metatron

Posted by ScorpV1_

I tell you, if I could have one super power, it would be to read minds. It would save me so much heartache.

I've thought about it and came to the opposite conclusion - that total access to another's thoughts would probably eliminate love altogether....I think there's good reason to have a separate/private mental life - particularly of the imagination/fantasy, and I think its debatable how much SM and other online endeavors are an extension of that....kinda where I've gotten with my girl - we have a don't ask/don't tell/don't snoop policy around things now....there's the occasional breach, but I just know if either one of us spies on the other too much, there's *always* going to be some drama that comes up, and its so much better to just be at peace, trust to a degree, but also realize that neither of us are perfect....Anything I've ever grilled her about, I was guilty of in some form or another....I can't imagine being able to snoop through her daily thoughts lol....

Yeah that's a good point. Hopefully I would have the restraint to only use my super powers when necessary i.e. in a situation like this lol

What sign is your gf?

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an earth-dominant Sag w/very little water....we both still were very jealous/territorial in the beginning, and went through a ton of rough patches with a lot of push/pull, but the emotions are not overpowering between us and now it is generally very laid back and easy...Definitely not love/hate like I've had with others. I was shocked that I was able to just not bring up or act out over the most recent stint of jealousy around something between us....I hate that side of myself so that's progress IMO...I think a lot of bulls tend towards the easier/smoother path though there has to be some passion for sure....Some of us seem to have mainly 2 extreme modes of either laid back passivity or uncontrollable rage, and the older I get, the more I want to avoid the latter altogether....Its the worst feeling to be in that state....

Posted by Metatron

Posted by ScorpV1_

Posted by Metatron

Posted by ScorpV1_

I tell you, if I could have one super power, it would be to read minds. It would save me so much heartache.

I've thought about it and came to the opposite conclusion - that total access to another's thoughts would probably eliminate love altogether....I think there's good reason to have a separate/private mental life - particularly of the imagination/fantasy, and I think its debatable how much SM and other online endeavors are an extension of that....kinda where I've gotten with my girl - we have a don't ask/don't tell/don't snoop policy around things now....there's the occasional breach, but I just know if either one of us spies on the other too much, there's *always* going to be some drama that comes up, and its so much better to just be at peace, trust to a degree, but also realize that neither of us are perfect....Anything I've ever grilled her about, I was guilty of in some form or another....I can't imagine being able to snoop through her daily thoughts lol....

Yeah that's a good point. Hopefully I would have the restraint to only use my super powers when necessary i.e. in a situation like this lol

What sign is your gf?

an earth-dominant Sag w/very little water....we both still were very jealous/territorial in the beginning, and went through a ton of rough patches with a lot of push/pull, but the emotions are not overpowering between us and now it is generally very laid back and easy...Definitely not love/hate like I've had with others. I was shocked that I was able to just not bring up or act out over the most recent stint of jealousy around something between us....I hate that side of myself so that's progress IMO...I think a lot of bulls tend towards the easier/smoother path though there has to be some passion for sure....Some of us seem to have mainly 2 extreme modes of either laid back passivity or uncontrollable rage, and the older I get, the more I want to avoid the latter altogether....Its the worst feeling to be in that state....

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Ah I see. I'm mostly water and earth with a fire moon. I do feel like the Scorpio energy overpowers everything though. It's the strongest vibe in my zodiac. Scorpio energy is something else lol Although I find that, because we were "blessed" with such range of emotion, we usually learn to become emotionally mature very fast.. our survival depends on it. Can't tell you how many hours I spent working on myself and my emotional reactions. And yes I see what you mean about avoiding drama..he said that. He said that he didn't like how he is already stressed out with me so early on. But he honestly stressed himself out on his own. He just loves blaming me for it, but the only reason I blew up on him is because he kept asking me the same questions about my SM over and over and bringing it up at the worst times (when we were flirting and happy and killing our vibe) so I lost my patience and he got a small taste of my Scorpio rage. How many times am i going to answer the same dam question before I blow up? From then on, he decided that me getting angry with his interrogation was a "red flag". Complete inability to self reflect on his own behavior. He said that he has experienced this type of red flag before and it means a person is dishonest. I asked him not to compare me to someone who's hurt him in the past when he barely knows me.

Bottom line, I feel like he brought this on himself, but in his mind I was the problem.

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Posted by DMV

Hes trying to control every aspect of this whatever you guys got. He wants you to know your place in his rolodex.

Now he can spoon free you a little here and a little there and you're so starved for his affection that you reward him for breadcrumbs. All he has to do is text, and you think hes is the greatest.

The starvation affect.

... but that's not really what happened, if you read my story. We were talking and hanging out a lot. He wasn't giving me "crumbs of attention" as you say. Then the argument happened about my social media account, and that's when he attempted to be "only friends" - an arrangement i don't really understand. I thought when people say "let's just be friends", they are letting you down easy...but he still wanted to hang out. At the same time saying he didn't want a relationship. What was the purpose of hanging out, then? If he doesn't want to be intimate and he doesn't want to date, either. Why, hang? We didn't have a history or long friendship before.

I understand him requesting a friendship IF you two started off as friends and were never intimate.

I can also understand it IF you two haven’t been dating for too long.

I don’t think feelings are too deep if you have only been dating for a few months. So, I have been in his shoes where I request friendship with guys I like, have made out with, but haven’t known that long. I can shift my energy from romantic to just friendship... just because I can see how we can best function. If I really like his personality, character and we get along great but just see us going toxic in a relationship, I would rather keep the flow between us healthy, positive and supportive... if I can only achieve that by friendship, I will prefer having that person as a friend.

We did not have a friendship beforehand. We met by him hitting on me and asking for my number. Our conversations were always flirty and he led me to believe he was looking for more than something casual.

I guess for me, it's hard to switch my energy back, so I just could not do it. Especially when he was sitting next to me, looking at me like he wanted to kiss me, and I wanted to kiss him too.. and then he abruptly decided to leave. I feel there was still sexual tension there, so how can you be friends with someone like that and just torture each other everytime you hang out.

He's the one who made it toxic and sabotaged it - by playing mind games, blowing hot and cold, and arguing with me about my social media account when everything on my account is so innocent (just compliments from guys that I don't reply to).

How long was your courtship?

I can switch it when I see something in the courtship that turns me off and I just no longer have sexual desire.

What you had with him was different because you KNEW he still had chemistry/sexual tension and you felt the same - so, he was just being dishonest there. But, Taurus will be dishonest with their own feelings if this feelings go against their own plans. They don’t value feelings as much as Water and Fire signs... and that sometimes gets them into a lot of trouble and hardships... if unbalanced too much.

Yes, in your case, it sounds like he was definitely the one being toxic and sabotaged.

it doesnt really sound like there was much of a courtship tbh

hit & quit

Yeah, I think the longevity of the courtship says a lot.

I don’t usually take anything serious when it’s less than a year 😕

ive encountered lotsa dudes that use the exact same tactics. hell, even ive used these tactics.

saying you care about someone & telling them to “take it slow lets not rush”, is the easiest way to get them to stick around for easy sex. add in the “im not ready for a relationship” bit & it makes the other party work extra hard for your affection.

its fucked but effective.

Lol... I’ve never played that game before as I’ve never been interested in easy sex and I am more than happy for a slow and long courtship. I usually have the opposite problem - guy pressing for commitment.

So in OP’s case, you think he only wanted sex and got turned off as soon as she said she is not into having sex quickly? Even though he agreed with her? Usually Taurus men are super respectful of that and they actually see more value in you (in my experience).

You think that is why he agreed and started saying he wanted a relationship too?

I think so. Note that crucially, he never said he could see himself in a relationship with her, and he made a point of asking how long she waits to have sex. I reckon he deemed the wait too long and the risk of cling too high.

Omg... this courtship was only a month and a half 🤦🏻‍♀️

He should have let go the moment she said she only has sex after being exclusive... wtf?!? Why keep going and get jealous about her social media? I mean, if all he wanted was sex, he should have just chilled until he got her in the sack. That was dumb play to keep attacking her on guys flirting with her on social media before getting the sex he so much wanted.

I don’t get it. Sounds like a waste of time if all he wanted was to play his way into sex 🙄👎🏼... so many dumb ass moves.

*shrugs*

He might not have known what he wanted from the beginning and at some point decided against it going further.

I'm not sure it matters either way, since the outcome for both scenarios is she should move on.

Well, the purpose of the thread was to understand him from a Taurus point of view.

She said she was moving on, that has already taken place. Right now, she just wants to understand.

If you and Dill are right, he sounds like a very immature 13 year old to me🤦🏻‍♀️👎🏼

He's in his 30s. Yes, I was just trying to understand.

I don't think this was a "game" to him, though.

Emotions got deep really fast after we spent that night talking till 8am and making out. After that, he wanted to see me every day and instantly started arguing with me, before he put the breaks on everything.

I don’t think it was a game either. But because the emotions overwhelmed him, he resorted to behaviors that were very immature and damaging/toxic.

It’s a blessing in disguise that you had such a quick high and low early on in your relationship. Your disconnect will be faster and less of a headache. Not only that, but you can really learn from his behavior traits and make sure you avoid people like this in the future.

I think the thing that keeps you up at night the most is that you saw him as caring and you clearly saw the real him... which was perhaps very beautiful in your eyes. So how could such beauty be so uncaring/cold and UNFAIR. Here, I think you will have to train your brain to focus on the positive; you loved honestly - don’t ever change that, you’ve had a short experience and seen how you don’t want to be treated and realized there are crazy immature guys out there... to levels you didn’t know existed before you met this character.

The unfairness and him blaming you for actions he did FIRST. He denies all of his wrong doings or doesn’t even mention them as if they didn’t exist and with all confidence blames it all on you. RICH....

No guilt on his part, no self awareness, no self blame... nope, it’s just YOU. That would drive me up the wall. Just very selfish and in my opinion, manipulative/immature. But... it’s great that you see it early on!! Imagine a whole life of that?!?! Thank heavens the true him came out so quickly. He is draining...

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Thank you! You understand my pain.. that is exactly what keeps me up at night...I did see the real him, sensitive and caring... and then I saw an a-hole side I didn't understand. I guess you're right, better early than later.

He admitted to me that he is very stubborn and something he needs to work on, but then he said "at the end of the day, I'm still right" ...lol face palm.

Posted by ScorpV1_I feel like he brought this on himself, but in his mind I was the problem.

usually how it goes....everyone is the hero of their own story....there's a proverb I like - "The one who states his case first seems right, until the accused comes to examine him". I'm not saying you're in the wrong in all/any of this; of course you seem to be in the right (his behavior seems really annoying also)....but even in what you've presented, I can see his side to it somewhat, and it also just seems a reasonable assumption that there's more to his perspective that has him feeling how he does. And of course, other Scorpios confused and hurt by Taurus men will relate to your perspective. I've personally been through some severe annoyance trying to distance myself from a female Scorpio that was not even a romantic relationship, but merely a friend, but I would never project that onto your situation. I think there's a higher perspective than blame, where both sides recognize they can have legitimate justification for their actions, given their unique vantage point. You attempt to empathize with the other as much as possible, and ultimately if things don't work out, its more healthy to attribute it to the dynamic itself. The blame game only leaves residual bitterness, and worst case scenario, a bigotry towards and trigger around, any/every person or scenario who even remotely resembles that person throughout life....