how do i improve

in a relationship with capricorn man?

i've come to terms with the fact that i'm like 300% a s h i t t y person to be in a relationship with

but i don't get it coz i've got a beautiful venus 11H

my communication sucksss so bad (as mentioned by cap) and i can feel his constant disappointment in this front

it's not that i'm not articulate but i'm an absolute utilitarian about it

and imagine how i feel about being a constant disappointment (not good)

it's not that i don't make the effort to communicate and express my views about it to him. but he makes it out as if i'm always neglecting him. in fact, this often comes up as an 'issue' between us. it's not that i forget, it's just i do it on purpose. i'm all for lovebombing but i rarely come across clingy via technology. i feel more comfortable being around in person. and being a disappointment deflates me even more. btw he's a pisces moon. i feel like i've had this same problem with a cardinal sun/water moon in the past as well (aries sun/cancer moon) like legit this dude tires me with all the videochats. it just feels so unnecessary sometimes. one of the main reasons that didn't work out. and now i'm facing the same issue so i MUST be the problem obvi.

I think they secretly like disappointment. It brings out their daddy vibes. Plus a lot of them wouldn't know what to do with an overly communicative partner, despite what they say.

you need a little bit of negging into your couple.

one hour of negging a day saves couples

Posted by Andalusia

I think they secretly like disappointment. It brings out their daddy vibes. Plus a lot of them wouldn't know what to do with an overly communicative partner, despite what they say.

omg lol he's such a dad yeah

and look i'm mercurial like i can keep up convos with geminis

but i'd talk more in depth with redditors than i would loved ones

coz i'm more 'tactile' in relationships coz talk is real cheap to me

but he really went full dad mode when i told him straight up that making me feel like a constant disappointment's only making me... well, become even MORE of a constant disappointment. like i don't know if it's on purpose but dude's always making me cry. i've never cried this much over someone before. he tires me out with his accusations of neglect and it often ends with me crying over it. coz i'm a virgo and i'm FAILING. i'm so blunt about how i'm utilitarian about communicating and he just can't accept it. he says he forced himself to distance from me but it kills him so he can't stop but reach out. i react the complete opposite of him, handling it by going the other direction.

i give so much space and.... he doesn't like that.

Posted by hydorah

you need a little bit of negging into your couple.

one hour of negging a day saves couples

eww

we're both lovebombers

i love yous on the first date menu

plus we already tend to mentally beat ourselves up

negging is for people who needs go down a peg

not for people convinced they're operating rock-bottom

You are not the one to blame. This man does not know you well enough to understand or respect your needs. Changing yourself to pleasure another leads to disappointment, self doubt and lower self worth in ones self.

Improving yourself comes from understanding and respecting yourself, regardless of outside influence. If he cannot accept you for you, that's a him problem...

Compromise is the key here. If you can give him a few minutes a day on facetime chatting this might be better than utilitarian texts that get him in his feels.

This will be an entirely non-issue once you are living together. So its really about how do you both deal with it now until that point.

Posted by virgoOPPP

it's not that i don't make the effort to communicate and express my views about it to him. but he makes it out as if i'm always neglecting him. in fact, this often comes up as an 'issue' between us. it's not that i forget, it's just i do it on purpose. i'm all for lovebombing but i rarely come across clingy via technology. i feel more comfortable being around in person. and being a disappointment deflates me even more. btw he's a pisces moon. i feel like i've had this same problem with a cardinal sun/water moon in the past as well (aries sun/cancer moon) like legit this dude tires me with all the videochats. it just feels so unnecessary sometimes. one of the main reasons that didn't work out. and now i'm facing the same issue so i MUST be the problem obvi.

He wants a favour from you. More of a good thing. If it wasn't a good thing what you gave him, he wouldn't have asked for more.

Except that instead of asking nicely, enticing you, spiking your interest, driving your imagination wild, or any other tactics that would work, he started to belittle and gaslight you. Welcome to the devaluation phase!

So here you are...reduced to a insecure "schoolgirl", unable to trust your instincts and talents.

The question you should ask is "How does HE improve?"

Posted by LadyNeptune

Compromise is the key here. If you can give him a few minutes a day on facetime chatting this might be better than utilitarian texts that get him in his feels.

This will be an entirely non-issue once you are living together. So its really about how do you both deal with it now until that point.

that's exactly what i'm thinking

i really gotta push through with the whole living together

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by LadyNeptune

Compromise is the key here. If you can give him a few minutes a day on facetime chatting this might be better than utilitarian texts that get him in his feels.

This will be an entirely non-issue once you are living together. So its really about how do you both deal with it now until that point.

that's exactly what i'm thinking

i really gotta push through with the whole living together

click to expand

Ah what....just ask him firstly about what he didn't like about you in person...expect to hear even more complaints 😄

Posted by Undine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by LadyNeptune

Compromise is the key here. If you can give him a few minutes a day on facetime chatting this might be better than utilitarian texts that get him in his feels.

This will be an entirely non-issue once you are living together. So its really about how do you both deal with it now until that point.

that's exactly what i'm thinking

i really gotta push through with the whole living together

Ah what....just ask him firstly about what he didn't like about you in person...expect to hear even more complaints 😄

click to expand

i already did but he just insists on more communication

told him we won't have this problem if we just lived together

no incessant texting or calling lol

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by Undine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by LadyNeptune

Compromise is the key here. If you can give him a few minutes a day on facetime chatting this might be better than utilitarian texts that get him in his feels.

This will be an entirely non-issue once you are living together. So its really about how do you both deal with it now until that point.

that's exactly what i'm thinking

i really gotta push through with the whole living together

Ah what....just ask him firstly about what he didn't like about you in person...expect to hear even more complaints 😄

i already did but he just insists on more communication

told him we won't have this problem if we just lived together

no incessant texting or calling lol

click to expand

Then you'll fail to hear something he whispers into his chin, when you are frying the rice.

You'll fail to laugh at his joke...or do, but he isn't looking at you, so it doesn't count.

You'll fail to realise that he hasn't finished talking before you gave him an answer.

...................you silly, evil, ungrateful, "poor communicator" ! 😄

Posted by Undine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by Undine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by LadyNeptune

Compromise is the key here. If you can give him a few minutes a day on facetime chatting this might be better than utilitarian texts that get him in his feels.

This will be an entirely non-issue once you are living together. So its really about how do you both deal with it now until that point.

that's exactly what i'm thinking

i really gotta push through with the whole living together

Ah what....just ask him firstly about what he didn't like about you in person...expect to hear even more complaints 😄

i already did but he just insists on more communication

told him we won't have this problem if we just lived together

no incessant texting or calling lol

Then you'll fail to hear something he whispers into his chin, when you are frying the rice.

You'll fail to laugh at his joke...or do, but he isn't looking at you, so it doesn't count.

You'll fail to realise that he hasn't finished talking before you gave him an answer.

...................you silly, evil, ungrateful, "poor communicator" ! 😄

click to expand

*cries