Aqua texting after break up?? HELP

Some of you have read our story. We were together for 6-7 months off and on. She told me that hasn't felt like this in a long time. She was currently going through a divorce with a man and they have been over for 6 years.
Long story short. We had a great chemistry etc. She said I made her happy. I met her friends and I became friends with them. They were figuring it out that we were together. One day they asked me ... and said you guys are together aren't you.. I was going to deny it but I can't lie so I said yes. They already knew.
Well it got back to her. She said im a private person and felt betrayed. Knocked me off facebook, said we were finished. The very next day she ends up calling me four times, texted me I need to say something. So I called her and she said ditto! Those were our words. She told me to come down with her and her daughter and her daughters friends to water park.
While the kids were at the park, we went back to the room, had a quickie, and she said i am so in love with you. Fist time i heard those words. She said i am going through a difficult time this isn't going to be easy. If you want easy just give up. And i forgive you for admitting it to my friends that we were a couple. She said just be patient with me. I love you.

I thought everything was going to be ok. She ignores me for a day then said I can't do this. You betrayed me by telling my friends we were a couple. I had no cruel intentions of hurting her. People were figuring it out that we were together. She said she can't. Then two days later she said she needs to sort out some things. Then a couple days later she said I think you need to move on.

So i moved on. A week later she texted me and said oh are you best friends with my friends now? I said no but we are buds. Granted she doesn't hang with them much. I do more. She got jealous. Then I said I don't think you see how much I do care for you.
Shes like. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I think i don't deserve this. Maybe I don't believe that you care for me that much. I always made the first move. I said you want to know why you made the first move? I said it kept going from friends to lovers to friends etc .I don't kiss friends. I love you always have always will. She said ditto and that she was just scared.

That's the last I heard from her. Its been two days. Do you guys think its over? Do you think she's playing with me? Do you think she did love me? I know she has feelings.

You're a rebound. She cares for you to a certain extent, but I doubt she's full blown in love with you. She's using you as a rebound & stepping stone with the hopes that you can help her get through her divorce & the aftermath following it...i.e. you're the temporary void filler.

The fact that she's not even fully divorced but yet has already started something before finishing another says to me that it makes more sense than not that she's playing games with you. The push away/pull back in game is typical of someone who is confused, juggling multiple situations that they can only handle some days out of the week.

She may be a private person, but let's be honest. The real reason she snapped on you for telling her friends/family the truth is b/c she wanted to keep you a secret. It's perfectly fair to assume that someone putting in the effort to keep you a secret most likely has hidden/bad motives. That's why the people who deal with extremely deceptive secretive people tend to get burned at the end of it all.

She didn't want that info getting back to her husband & she didn't wanna face the criticism & judgement coming from all the old skool people who don't believe in moving on until a divorce is final. She didn't want all that extra drama, especially if them finding out the truth exposed her to lies she may have been telling them all this whole time.

People with secrets & with something to hide typically get irate when they are exposed. So don't confuse "private" with "liar who keeps secrets." 2 different things. Simply being a private person is NOT the same as being a secretive, dishonest person.

Move on. She's even told you that you should. On occasion, she reflects & feels bad for what she knows she's doing to you & putting you through. She knows you're like a disposable void filler, but hey sometimes even the most manipulative people have moments where their conscious comes back. And you'll know when that moment comes b/c they'll be HONEST with you & tell you that you should move on. Unless there was a "lol" or "just kidding" behind her words, she was NOT joking.

If you continue playing with a hot stove even though the hot stove itself has warned you that it was hot & will burn you, after awhile, that hot stove won't feel so bad or guilty when you finally get burned b/c they warned your hard-headed azz LOL The question isn't 'why is she treating me this way?' The question is: Why are YOU allowing it? Move on

I'm an Aquarius female and I will be honest I play those type of games with guys that are only my rebounds. It's horrible I know but she is playing you. She probably wants to see how bad you will fight for her. Especially if she was hurt really bad in her previous relationship. My nest advice is to cut her off completely that will make her shocked. She's been playing these games because your allowing her. As far as telling her friends I'm very private too I don't want anybody to know who I'm dating unless I tell it and I'm posting pictures on social media networks.

It's either you're a void filler or she is scared and confused as hell about you. Aquas are scared of gettingtheir feelings hurt, so much so that sometimes we even run from the people that really care for us and we for them. Her behavior sounds exactly like mine when I really like a guy but I feel he's no good for me or vice versa. She likes you alright, but she feels that you guys are not good for each other and she doesn't see it going anywhere. Hence the backpedaling constantly.

Now her fear is heightened at the moment from her recent divorce. She is already hurt and so she's on her guard even more than a typical Aquarius in that she is threading carefully. That "threading carefully" translates to backpedaling when she thinks things logically. When she's in the moment with you and acting out of feelings, she gets carried away and tells u things like "I love you"

Thanks for your comments. She is also mad i have become friends with her acquaintances. Heck she introduced me. And now she is jealous when I hang out with them. she texted me or are they your best friends now ??

Anyways. she also said i clearly see your words are just words. Wow. She got angry again that i was hanging out with them. They know how she is.. She can be mean. My words have always been true for her . She is a butt

Now the other group that I would hang out, go on trips with etc. Has taken her side. I found out they have planned a trip and I am not invited. She had to tell me that. Kind of sucks But ill be ok.

I asked her are you really scared? She said I just need my privacy for now.

She has played me I believe.
Hurts like hell bc I do love her. I will keep my head up high and move on.

Now she keeps on texting me. Said where are you? I said at home. Then she showed me pictures of these baby squirrels she rescued. This woman is clearly confused. Who knows why she is doing this.Games I guess. im doing my best to move on. Thanks for all of your help these past 6-7 months with this lady

Her birthday is January 29, 1971.. I don't know how to figure out charts. Mine is July 29, 1980. I am a Leo. She originally told me to move on .. here is being a butt and mixed signals.. and getting mad bc I am hanging with people she has known for a long time.

I love she loves me but I think she isn't ready

She basically told me I betrayed her and the main reason she broke things off was bc I admitted it to her friends. I don't want to be her secret

But she forgave me and took it back. doesn't make sense to me. I don't think I was the main cause. I think it was an easy out for her

Thanks i dont know how to do chart heres mine. July 29, 1980 Kettering ohio 2:53 pm

Hers January 29, 1971 Dayton, Ohio. I don't have her time

Sounds a lot like her. I don't think she will be back. Longest time she has been away. Just texting random shit

I def deserve better. Thanks everyone for your input. She she texts now. I'll ignore it.

Ok she texted me this weekend. got mad i hung out with people she has known for years. I am closer to them honestly as of recent.
And I was like we could have work things out. we could have just talked. I asked her why she just gave up.
She said its because i haven't felt like that in a LONG time. And she was like I messed up sorry.

That night she invited me out.. We went back to her place she hugged me for a long time. Like she was saying sorry and then kissed me... Now she is quiet again.

Maybe you all are right she is playing games. I thought she was being sincere... I do know she has feelings.. What do you guys think of this? She never admits when she is wrong. She is the one who said she messed up..

i don't know...what to do.. the next day she got all quiet. but thats her...

She has admitted that she is scared.. maybe she is afraid to fall deeper. As soon as she told me she was in love with me at the end of March.. She ended it and ran..

Do you guys think i need to walk away?

my friend Jade72980 🙂, I remember I told you the last time to leave her alone. I think you also mentioned that it was an age difference also. It sounds to me that her feelings are still stuck in her last relationship with the person she is divorcing. A lot of time some older woman not all are ashamed to say they are dating someone younger. (I do remember you saying there was an age difference) correct me if I'm wrong.

Jade I'm going to be honest with you. If you have no kids and never been married..it is best for you to find someone else that you can start a life with. I don't know her intentions but her being a grown woman, I am pretty sure that she "knows" what she wants at this point. What if she decides that she is going to go back with her ex? I think you really need to walk away for this as much as it hurts you too. If you were never friends with her friends before you met her, you should probably take a break from them also but i still don't think that would be fair to you either. If you are not flirting with her friends and really just enjoy there company ask them if they will please not mention you all hanging out to her because she obviously feels you are trying to get close to her through her friends.

I feel so bad that you are still stuck in this same situation...I don't know what you could do to convince her..but if an aqua does not want you...they do not want you..and it is really rare that you will be able to change her mind. She is doing to much back and forth.

I will say this also..I have dated an Aries...(I think you are an Aries too, I remember clearly) He did not give me the space I wanted. I liked him and he absolutely adored me but I felt that I did not deserve him because of what I had going on in my life at that time. It was just the wrong time and I was battling with my Scorpio. He would have done anything for me but I also felt he was immature and wanted to jump into things to fast. It was like he wanted to play house/husband and wife. I could be explaining it wrong but I really think that when she said to you that she does not deserve you she probably meant it she maybe also feels she is to complicated..

I really hope it works out for you....

Do this.........

when she text or call you...tell her "listen, I am sorry but you have got me on a string, and I cant deal with this anymore, I'm sorry if I have done anything to ever hurt you and I mean it from my heart, I will respect your wishes and move on with my life"

I'm not going to say for you to play the waiting game with her cause she might be the aqua like me that gets cold, very cold, doesn't talk when they are upset.

Flip the script on her..let her hunt you down, look for you, blow your phone up.

If you don't see her blowing your phone up, running you down by now, knocking at your front door to talk then it is possible she does not want you.

You should know within yourself by now if this woman wants you

Don't let your heart get in the way my friend, you can let go and move on. I am telling you because the last thing you want to do is let time wasted go by and then maybe even have a baby with this woman cause your having sex still with her. Don't ignore the warning signs.

I do know she has feelings for me but i do think she is scared. ... I know she is in love with me. I can tell when i am with her. She runs from emotions that i know.She is scared.

I told her today we don't need to rush it.. that i care and that i am here for her. she needs hand surgery.
She invited me out sunday said she messed up etc.. kissed and hugged... But ignores me today She has done this all along and then comes around.. and says shes in love.. It has been back and forth...

Just not sure what ill do... I know deep down she is in love but for whatever reason she is scared or not ready...

I would give her all the time she needs and even be a friend for now

I did leave her alone, she came to me... .. Also she is 9 years older... why would she come around .. and say sorry and that she just hasn't felt like that in a Long time .... just to let it go and run again.. its odd

i don't know why she would do that...I feel for you...you are caught loving an aqua...lol..Maybe say you will just friends. You will grow on her...but if are going to be friends..that means no flirting, no kissing, no hugging, nothing that suggest you are a couple, and I would also say dont even spend a dime on her..but I am not too sure about that last one..lol...or else the friends thing will not work....

if five months from now..you are still back and forth back and forth

END IT!!!!! lol...and get mad and shout too while your at it...(something tells me you have never raised your voice at her) lol

Oh I have called her an asshole lol. And that i didn't appreciate the back and forth shit

in the past We tried the friends thing. well she will put me as a friend.. then start kissing and i said hey if you are going to be my friend stop with the flirting.. then took a few days and then said i can't let you go.. to im in love with you.. its so odd

Forgot all that she's SAID. Pay more attention to what she's DONE. I know you believe in the saying that "actions speak louder than words." Just b/c you like or care about someone doesn't mean that person is exempt from that creed.

All people show you better than they can tell you how they feel about you, at some point. You won't ever get the message unless you pay attention.

I don't think this situation is rocket science or something to analyze to death. You're focusing more on what she's said. I'm paying more attention to what she has NOT said. I'm paying more attention to what she does & does NOT do. Actions always tell the real story & give you the answers you need. The truth may suck, hurt or completely contradict everything that person has "said." Hell it may even be the complete opposite of what you wanted to believe, but nonetheless, truth is truth. And you're doing her nor yourself any justice if you purposely have to go into denial just to stay in a situation.

This is what her actions according to YOUR story tells me: -She's using you as a void filler & rebound -She's not mad that she kept you a secret. She's mad that you found out that she was keeping you a secret. Huge difference. -She's going to continue treating you the way you're allowing her to treat you. If you give someone the impression that you're gullible or easily manipulated, what's the 1st thing someone is most likely to do to you? Tell you anything that sounds good & try manipulating you when it serves them some good. -She started new before she finished, healed & fully moved on from the last relationship. -She's not owning up to anything & she doesn't acknowledge how her actions affect you & others. She's always the victim. It's always about her HER her! She's selfish.

Given that, nothing she's "said" trumps or overrides all the red flags in her actions. I think you should move on. Whether you realize or not, you signed up to be her part-time, spare-time & down-time. Don't expect the selfish person to magically have an attack of conscious & suddenly become selfless. It's up to YOU to recognize what's going on & remove yourself from the situation.

If you're waiting on a selfish, manipulative & unsatisfied person to suddenly become this noble, honest & non-manipulative person just b/c it may serve YOU right, you'll be waiting for a lonnnnnnng time. Accept that she wasn't what you thought & hoped she'd be, & keep it moving.

Wow... just wow...

How many times do you need to repeat yourself to see the pattern? Surely what she's doing to you may seem unfair but realise you're allowing her behaviour, to an extent I would say you're her enabler.

You won't be the 1st to get sucked up into the draining process of dating someone who started something before finishing the other. There's a reason people aren't advised to date non-divorced, newly divorced or unhealed people. It's b/c stuff like THIS happens.