Aquas, How do you like being consoled?

I asked the other day about how an aqua likes to console their partner.

How would you like being approached of you were sad/upset/frustrated?

Do you want immediate attention? To be left alone, until you're ready? To just vent and then forget it?

Left alone, then when ready, only certain people will be allowed close to console me.. fucked up i know, but i guard myself when it comes to emotions.. whether it's anger, saddness, tears...

Posted by flowingwater

Posted by justagirl
Left alone, then when ready, only certain people will be allowed close to console me.. fucked up i know, but i guard myself when it comes to emotions.. whether it's anger, saddness, tears...

This.

I HATE when people try to probe into my problems and keep asking how to help. You can help by not talking.

click to expand

LOL Right!


Or try to grab you and hug you... just NO don't touch me if i'm on the verge of tears. let me have a moment to collect myself or the flood gate will open! Again, i get it can appear cold and standoffish. but it's how i cope.

😆

If someone died that I loved I'd probably need to be hugged for a very long time, the tears flow easier when you're being hugged.

But for anything else I'd want to be told to harden the fuck fuck up haha

Posted by pennystealing123
I asked the other day about how an aqua likes to console their partner.

How would you like being approached of you were sad/upset/frustrated?

Do you want immediate attention? To be left alone, until you're ready? To just vent and then forget it?

Just back away

No questions no nothing , let him come to you even if it takes a long while just be there ready for when and if he needs it. Also if he sorts it alone just be happy with that don't be upset he didn't share the drama with you... Ya know what I mean ? Lol

It's been like two weeks, where I can sense something. It's big. I have not pushed.

I let him know that I feel something is wrong.

Secretly, I feel insulted. He makes me tell him everything.

Could it be a trust thing?

Makes me feel I'm imagining things...

Going to copy and paste my reply from Tinxy thread.. parts won't apply to you, but other parts will. 2 weeks is nothing for Aquas. not saying that to be callous, just part of how some of us Aquas are.

Posted by justagirl
Wish i had advise for you... but i really don't. You already know it takes Aquas some time to really let others in. it comes across very dismisive to the others feelings and standoffish. But its all defenses. Self preservation at it's finest.

Maybe let him know that if and when he's ready you are there for him, to just listen to what he is saying or not saying? That you respect that he isnt ready to share those feelings, yet. That part i CAN relate too, when saying he is hiding his feelings. It can be overwhelming, especially if its all new and wonderful feelings. Can feel like you are drowning. Feels are very hard for some Aquas. Sharing that part of ones self with another ,very hard for Scorpio placements ( this coming from my Rising) and with his moon.. man i can only imagine.

Posted by pennystealing123
It's been like two weeks, where I can sense something. It's big. I have not pushed.

I let him know that I feel something is wrong.

Secretly, I feel insulted. He makes me tell him everything.

Could it be a trust thing?

Makes me feel I'm imagining things...

2 weeks I laugh woman

Try 4 months !!!! See how you feel then you need to have the patience of a saint honestly

Nothing is wrong here

If you go bulldozing in he will be the one insulted he will see you as dramatic

Drama is a no no so sont do it

Accept the way he is they withdraw from humanity when in those moods

Left alone, but if you're one of those very few people that i feel ok to be around then just be there but don't ever talk and asking about nothing.

My Aqua never disappeared on me, but we won't talk about shit he's going through until HE'S ready to talk.

A lot of things get brushed under the rug because of that, but pushing the issue doesn't work and the result is the same. So I've learned to really just let him deal with his own problems unless he explicitly asks for my help/understanding.

If his crappy attitude affects how he relates to me, I'll mention it to him and that usually does the trick.

I'll just leave him alone.

But I'm hurting along with him, whatever it is...

It's hard to do. Just offer generic (but genuine) expressions of sympathy ("I'm sorry that you're hurting, I wish I could help" type statements) and then detach from your feelings a bit.

Posted by pennystealing123
I asked the other day about how an aqua likes to console their partner.

How would you like being approached of you were sad/upset/frustrated?

Do you want immediate attention? To be left alone, until you're ready? To just vent and then forget it?

When my aqua's dad died, he didn't want to talk about it, but he wanted me around. I didn't push or make him talk, I was just there. He kept telling me how he appreciated me being there for him.

Would you lie and say "nothing is wrong,"' when there clearly is something wrong?

And would you take it to the grave, or eventually open up?

Posted by pennystealing123
Would you lie and say "nothing is wrong,"' when there clearly is something wrong?

And would you take it to the grave, or eventually open up?

Being honest.... sometimes yes, depending on what it really is. Sometimes, i really don't know what is wrong and being asked "what's wrong" can compound it and get me refocused on what i am trying not to think aboout.

I went through a period of time when i knew something was wrong but i couldn't sort out what.. very withdrawn, i would isolate myself etc .. but i was not depressed and it drove me crazy, and trying to figure it out was making me even crqazier.... finally weeks later it dawned on me it was the annivesary of something i had gone through yeaaaaars ago. Yet my subconsious remembered it, even if i did not.

Not trying to br cryptic- just explaining my experiences with similar type behavior.

Posted by flowingwater

Posted by justagirl

Posted by pennystealing123
Would you lie and say "nothing is wrong,"' when there clearly is something wrong?

And would you take it to the grave, or eventually open up?

Being honest.... sometimes yes, depending on what it really is. Sometimes, i really don't know what is wrong and being asked "what's wrong" can compound it and get me refocused on what i am trying not to think aboout.

I went through a period of time when i knew something was wrong but i couldn't sort out what.. very withdrawn, i would isolate myself etc .. but i was not depressed and it drove me crazy, and trying to figure it out was making me even crqazier.... finally weeks later it dawned on me it was the annivesary of something i had gone through yeaaaaars ago. Yet my subconsious remembered it, even if i did not.

Not trying to br cryptic- just explaining my experiences with similar type behavior.

I've gone through these same exact feelings of detachment!

As las someone has described it!!

click to expand

🙂 Glad i could help. Makes me go crazy when that happens, thankfully it's not very often.

I appreciate this topic. As a Cancer I've been wondering how to support my Aqua friend who's dealing with relationship issues without being a pain. He and his girlfriend are going through a breakup. I noticed when we were hanging out this weekend he was being very affectionate with me (holding my hand, sitting so close to me, holding me to keep me warm when I forgot my jacket, etc.), so I asked him if I could ask him something, but to tell me if I need to mind my own business, and when he said yes I asked if he was still seeing his gf. Before I asked, he was standing directly in front of me - we're talking full frontal contact - then after I asked he stood back to lean against the wall with his arms crossed and looking away while he spilled his guts. Poor guy... He told me all about their issues. I asked him if I could give him a hug, and he said yes and let me hug him. I tried not to do the typical Cancer behavior of smothering my wounded friend with love, but be respectful of his feelings, listen to what he had to say, and let him know that if he wants to talk I'll be there for him. I think that was the right thing to do, and hopefully you'll agree.
Thanks OP for getting this question out there.