How do Aquas deal with being put in their place?

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ToeDipper
@Spooky926
10 Years

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I got into an argument with my Aqua "friend" this morning...and I have to admit, it was pretty delicious to see him throw a fit for being put in his place. This is the second day in a row I either told him some good news or asked for support in a very specific way, and he went ON and ON giving me lengthy unsolicited advice that I really had no interest in or need for. I told him all I wanted was for him to check out a webpage and share the content if he felt comfortable with it. Then he got VERY snippy when I gently told him I respectfully disagreed with the (unwanted) advice he gave me. Told me not to waste his precious time by telling him he was wrong after I asked him for advice. I firmly reminded him I never asked for advice in the first place. Then he got sarcastic and threw a fit. I pulled a Libra and complemented him lavishly on his knowledge and experience; but I also said he didn't have to put it on display any time someone mentioned anything related to his background. I also reminded him other people sometimes know as much as him, if not more so. I ended by telling him he would have saved a LOT of time if he had just said, "Sure! I'll check out your site and share the info when I get a chance." Two texts. That's it. Sigh.

So anyway, I've read that Aquas generally get over these things pretty quickly. However, this is the first argument we've had of this nature, and I've never put him in his place like this before (which I have a feeling he's not used to AT ALL). What reaction should I expect down the road?
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ToeDipper
@Spooky926
10 Years

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Posted by aquagirllovesu
He will get over it quickly, but probably thinks your not very open to hearing others opinions and suggestions. If it were me, I would never give you a suggestion again even if I thought it would really help. Hopefully he is not as petty as me. :-)
Well, I've been asking for and listening to his advice for for four years (and acting on it in most instances), and this is the first time in that long that I've disagreed with him--VERY politely and respectfully, by the way (the Libra in me). I just don't like that he presumes everyone wants to hear his wisdom every time they ask for the slightest little thing (in this case, it was just a Facebook post, lol). He doesn't understand the difference between a request for support and for advice/suggestions. I don't like how defensive he got when I dared to differ in opinion. I heard him out completely and explained WHY I disagreed with him. He did NOT care to rationally discuss or collaborate to reach a middle point; he just threw a fit like my 5 year-old would do, lol.
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changetheway
@aquagirllovesu
11 YearsAquarius

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Posted by Spooky926
Posted by aquagirllovesu
He will get over it quickly, but probably thinks your not very open to hearing others opinions and suggestions. If it were me, I would never give you a suggestion again even if I thought it would really help. Hopefully he is not as petty as me. :-)
Well, I've been asking for and listening to his advice for for four years (and acting on it in most instances), and this is the first time in that long that I've disagreed with him--VERY politely and respectfully, by the way (the Libra in me). I just don't like that he presumes everyone wants to hear his wisdom every time they ask for the slightest little thing (in this case, it was just a Facebook post, lol). He doesn't understand the difference between a request for support and for advice/suggestions. I don't like how defensive he got when I dared to differ in opinion. I heard him out completely and explained WHY I disagreed with him. He did NOT care to rationally discuss or collaborate to reach a middle point; he just threw a fit like my 5 year-old would do, lol.
click to expand

I understand what you mean, I think you did a good thing. He will be a little sore about it, but I don't think he will run away because of this.
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ToeDipper
@Spooky926
10 Years

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Posted by justagirl
my question and NO you do not need to answer, its more for you to think about..

why do you keep going to him? He isnt giving you the support/comfort you are seeking and yet you are still seeking it from him.
For the record, we're not romantically involved anymore (although I'm not exactly sure he realizes that part is dead for me). I didn't go to him; he called me yesterday and we were just catching up. I recently launched a non-profit and just asked him to share the info about it on his Facebook page (he has 11,000+ followers). I knew he'd do it, but all I wanted was a simple reply, not a tutorial. He has been supporting my work for four years, so this was completely in line with our friendship history. The very reason I was comfortable putting him in his place is because I'm no longer afraid of losing him as a romantic partner, and I'm confident enough in our friendship that I don't think he'll bail on my permanently by me pointing out some of his behavior that I don't appreciate it. So no, this is not me going to him for comfort or emotional support; just a little professional help 🙂.
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SelenaKyle
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 6657 · Posts: 25221 · Topics: 77
my point was you have made 4 threads in less than 48 hours about this guy , it's more important to you than you are trying to make it out. You don't need to put anyone in "their place" it's obvious what was between you guys played out. I understand you are hurt, but you will DEYSTOY the friendship with all this, is that your goal?


https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/how-do-aquarius-men-show-they-care-5903524/

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/how-far-will-aquarius-man-take-a-lie-5902108/

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/i-got-major-aqua-insight-yesterday-and-it-wasn-t-pretty-5906815/

and this one we are in.
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SelenaKyle
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts

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Posted by sultrykitty
This is the funny thing...he'll probably get really into you now, and do all the things you wanted him to do when you were dating and trying to bend over backwards for him.

Aquas don't like pushovers. They WANT pushback, even if every sign they give is tge opposite.
not when they are the ones that ended it. You think he is going to chase her now?

i get it i am not an Aqua dude, but for me when it's over and someone acts out with fits of anger (sorry but that is what she is doing, perhaps rightly so) it just makes me step back even more.

If you OP truly value this 4 year friendship, take a break from all of it, collect yourself and decide if you can truly be a friend without placing expectations on him to be more than what he is wanting to be.
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SelenaKyle
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts

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Posted by Spooky926
I got into an argument with my Aqua "friend" this morning...and I have to admit, it was pretty delicious to see him throw a fit for being put in his place. This is the second day in a row I either told him some good news or asked for support in a very specific way, and he went ON and ON giving me lengthy unsolicited advice that I really had no interest in or need for . I told him all I wanted was for him to check out a webpage and share the content if he felt comfortable with it. Then he got VERY snippy when I gently told him I respectfully disagreed with the (unwanted) advice he gave me. Told me not to waste his precious time by telling him he was wrong after I asked him for advice. I firmly reminded him I never asked for advice in the first place. Then he got sarcastic and threw a fit. I pulled a Libra and complemented him lavishly on his knowledge and experience; but I also said he didn't have to put it on display any time someone mentioned anything related to his background. I also reminded him other people sometimes know as much as him, if not more so. I ended by telling him he would have saved a LOT of time if he had just said, "Sure! I'll check out your site and share the info when I get a chance." Two texts. That's it. Sigh.

So anyway, I've read that Aquas generally get over these things pretty quickly. However, this is the first argument we've had of this nature, and I've never put him in his place like this before (which I have a feeling he's not used to AT ALL). What reaction should I expect down the road?
YOU posted that you ARE going to him for suport so i am super confussed by you replying to me that you didn't. 😕 Also how is him giving his opinion unsolicitied if you went to him..

All i am trying to say, if none of this is helping the healing process. You guys broke up last week yes? I get you want to be friends, but its still too raw. Do you have a close female friend you can talk to?

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sultrykitty
@sultrykitty
10 Years5,000+ Posts

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Posted by justagirl
Posted by sultrykitty
This is the funny thing...he'll probably get really into you now, and do all the things you wanted him to do when you were dating and trying to bend over backwards for him.

Aquas don't like pushovers. They WANT pushback, even if every sign they give is tge opposite.
not when they are the ones that ended it. You think he is going to chase her now?

i get it i am not an Aqua dude, but for me when it's over and someone acts out with fits of anger (sorry but that is what she is doing, perhaps rightly so) it just makes me step back even more.

If you OP truly value this 4 year friendship, take a break from all of it, collect yourself and decide if you can truly be a friend without placing expectations on him to be more than what he is wanting to be.
click to expand

But he didn't end it. She just decided that she can't deal with him on a romantic level.

At any rate, mt guy broke up with me countless times and then would call in a week or two to get back together.
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ToeDipper
@Spooky926
10 Years

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We didn't break up last week; we were never in a real romantic relationship to begin with. I'm trying to explain that I don't have romantic feelings for him anymore--which ironically is why I'm now seeing all these Aqua qualities that are such a huge turn-off for me. I have to repeat this again--I did not go to him for advice today! I asked him to just please repost information about my new non-profit on his Facebook page. THAT'S IT. I did not ask for his opinion about the non-profit or the website. I did not ask for help in running it or developing it or for any ideas remotely concerning it. By wanting his support, I very simply meant wanting the friendly response of, sure, I can do that! NOTHING MORE. Of course the romantic aspect of our relationship played out! I'm a Libra and do try to salvage things because I need to be able to say I tried, but when that switch flips, it is off FOR GOOD. Trust me, the switch has flipped with this Aqua, so have no illusions that I'm sitting here crying and pining away anymore. The broken heart is another memory and something to learn from. However, that doesn't mean I don't want to learn more about this person's thought process. As a Libra, I want to know what makes EVERYONE tick. I'm specifically looking for insight into the Aqua mind because this man is textbook. Of course I have girlfriends I can talk to...good Lord. But they don't understand the astrological aspects of people's personalities, which is why I'm here for these specific questions.
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ToeDipper
@Spooky926
10 Years

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Posted by sultrykitty
This is the funny thing...he'll probably get really into you now, and do all the things you wanted him to do when you were dating and trying to bend over backwards for him.

Aquas don't like pushovers. They WANT pushback, even if every sign they give is tge opposite.
Maybe, lol 🙂. He's been into me this whole time, technically speaking. He's just into himself more. If he does try to chase me again, it's actually going to be a big turn-off for me. Once the Libra switch flips, it's done.
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ToeDipper
@Spooky926
10 Years

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Posted by WaterBearerer
"how do aquas deal with being put in their place" yo u are antagonizing this dudes soul for no reason loll

and how did u put him in his place by saying there are people smarter than him lol couldnt wait to hit him with that dose of reality huh?

whats w all this hate from libras on here yall act like were not perfect for each other or something !?
It definitely wasn't "for no reason." This man is an intellectual show-off who actually gets off on making people believe he knows more than he actually does. He gives advice without being asked for it for the simple reason of letting others know how smart he is. He thinks his way is best and throws fits if someone disagrees with him or refuses his advice, no matter how politely. He's not used to being intellectually matched, and I simply reminded him that his way is NOT what's always best for other people, and he shouldn't push his knowledge/experience/"wisdom" on other people if they don't want it or specifically ask for it. His arrogance and ego were all over the place, and yes...he needed someone to bring him down a few notches.
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Librawoman77
@Librawoman77
10 Years500+ Posts

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Aquarius Moon, Mercury and Mars in Aquarius. - The Waterbearer is the truth seeker - wired by God to bring prolific, inspiring, and innovative messages to humanity. Mature Aquarius are usually not overbearing with their knowledge; but I can see your point. You feel he exalts himself then behaves disrespectfully and you wanted to deflate to his over-inflated ego. His response will depend on how much he values your opinion; if he thinks you are less than him, he will blow you off, call you crazy, be shocked by your sudden outburst of anger and observe your apparent lack of self-control as "being on your period."

If you wanted to be heard - when he began his tirade you could have politely stopped him and reasserted your needs in a joking manner. "Boy, I don't want to hear all that, are you going to post it or what?" Then at another setting ask "Can I talk to you about something?" "Sometimes when I express my opinions I feel unheard and discounted because when I ask for support I am given what feels like long lectures. My request is ....." But instead you gave him unsolicited opinions about his personality without asking his permission. You did to him what he does to you - but you are hell bent on believing your words changed or penetrated a fixed Aquarius mind, and I am sorry to report that unless you made your point in 6 words or less with respect, and humor you did nothing but made an ass of yourself in our eyes. And he will remain FIXED in his ways.

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frostey91
@frostey91
11 Years1,000+ Posts

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Omg this shot is petty why is this even an issue. You had a small disagreement about something work related. Like what do you both do for a living? Obviously you mentioned you do something with non profits. I really don't think this is an issue at all. I'm trying to be an adult about this because I could easily look at this situation sarcastically. This is pretty shit --any tiny discord for the Libra is too much ha.
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frostey91
@frostey91
11 Years1,000+ Posts

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OK the intellectual show off thing I know a guy exactly like him who is coincidentally getting a PHD in philosophy right now from a top school in California. He tried to tell the fraternity how run the fraternity, when he was a member for a week and he was a Freshman. After a two weeks of college everyone hated him on the floor but me. I tolerated him occasionally. He just sat in his dorm the rest of the time and played Smash Bros alone.
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ToeDipper
@Spooky926
10 Years

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Posted by Librawoman77
But instead you gave him unsolicited opinions about his personality without asking his permission. You did to him what he does to you - but you are hell bent on believing your words changed or penetrated a fixed Aquarius mind, and I am sorry to report that unless you made your point in 6 words or less with respect, and humor you did nothing but made an ass of yourself in our eyes. And he will remain FIXED in his ways.
I have no illusions that he will act any different in the future. And to be honest, I've been holding in frustrations with his arrogance for a long time; being so averse to confrontation, I was extremely nervous about saying anything at all. The way it played out, he finished his "tutorial," so to speak. I told him I very much appreciated his knowledge and advice, but I respectfully disagreed with him. That was ALL I said. Then he got pissed, saying that I wasted his precious time by asking him for advice then telling him he was wrong (VERY defensive). I politely told him I actually didn't ask for advice in the first place; I only asked him if he would mind looking at a website and posting about it. Then he went on VERY sarcastically to explain why he was so much more knowledgable than me about these things (rattling off dollar figures and bragging about accomplishments, etc.). That annoyed me; it's not a competition but I have more experience than him and he knows it. I agree that your suggestion for approaching my problem with him is a lot more gentle. Unfortunately, I had just reached my breaking point. I tried to do my Libra best of explaining my perception of his behavior very rationally and unemotionally, but I know he did NOT like it--especially when I pointed out that I never asked him for advice. He assumed I wanted it, and I know Aquas don't like to be shown evidence they misstepped. I wonder if he's like that with other people, and how they react to his shows of "see how smart I am?" Maybe they appreciate it...I don't know.
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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
13 Years10,000+ Posts

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Posted by justagirl
my point was you have made 4 threads in less than 48 hours about this guy , it's more important to you than you are trying to make it out. You don't need to put anyone in "their place" it's obvious what was between you guys played out. I understand you are hurt, but you will DEYSTOY the friendship with all this, is that your goal?


https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/how-do-aquarius-men-show-they-care-5903524/

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/how-far-will-aquarius-man-take-a-lie-5902108/

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/i-got-major-aqua-insight-yesterday-and-it-wasn-t-pretty-5906815/

and this one we are in.
that's alot of threads....
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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 13769 · Topics: 154
Posted by Spooky926
I got into an argument with my Aqua "friend" this morning...and I have to admit, it was pretty delicious to see him throw a fit for being put in his place. This is the second day in a row I either told him some good news or asked for support in a very specific way, and he went ON and ON giving me lengthy unsolicited advice that I really had no interest in or need for. I told him all I wanted was for him to check out a webpage and share the content if he felt comfortable with it. Then he got VERY snippy when I gently told him I respectfully disagreed with the (unwanted) advice he gave me. Told me not to waste his precious time by telling him he was wrong after I asked him for advice. I firmly reminded him I never asked for advice in the first place. Then he got sarcastic and threw a fit. I pulled a Libra and complemented him lavishly on his knowledge and experience; but I also said he didn't have to put it on display any time someone mentioned anything related to his background. I also reminded him other people sometimes know as much as him, if not more so. I ended by telling him he would have saved a LOT of time if he had just said, "Sure! I'll check out your site and share the info when I get a chance." Two texts. That's it. Sigh.

So anyway, I've read that Aquas generally get over these things pretty quickly. However, this is the first argument we've had of this nature, and I've never put him in his place like this before (which I have a feeling he's not used to AT ALL). What reaction should I expect down the road?
he will get over it for sure but how he feels about you will change drastically!!! it doesn't seem like he is behaving the way you expected him after putting him in his place... as you call it... this seems to annoy you.

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SelenaKyle
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 6657 · Posts: 25221 · Topics: 77
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by justagirl
my point was you have made 4 threads in less than 48 hours about this guy , it's more important to you than you are trying to make it out. You don't need to put anyone in "their place" it's obvious what was between you guys played out. I understand you are hurt, but you will DEYSTOY the friendship with all this, is that your goal?


https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/how-do-aquarius-men-show-they-care-5903524/

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/how-far-will-aquarius-man-take-a-lie-5902108/

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/i-got-major-aqua-insight-yesterday-and-it-wasn-t-pretty-5906815/

and this one we are in.
that's alot of threads....
click to expand

there are more...

😐


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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 13769 · Topics: 154
Posted by justagirl
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by justagirl
my point was you have made 4 threads in less than 48 hours about this guy , it's more important to you than you are trying to make it out. You don't need to put anyone in "their place" it's obvious what was between you guys played out. I understand you are hurt, but you will DEYSTOY the friendship with all this, is that your goal?


https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/how-do-aquarius-men-show-they-care-5903524/

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/how-far-will-aquarius-man-take-a-lie-5902108/

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/i-got-major-aqua-insight-yesterday-and-it-wasn-t-pretty-5906815/

and this one we are in.
that's alot of threads....
there are more...

😐


click to expand

I guess it's her way of not caring... ;/
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frostey91
@frostey91
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 161 · Posts: 1869 · Topics: 31
I'm talking about do co-workers and shit. I mean people getting mad BC they didn't want advice from a know it all would not be an issue for me. I guess it is more important in a professional environment... Older more professional people....
Though I guess it depends more on personality then age. Overly smart people or ones who think they are do me no harm to me I just avoid em when needed.



I am just dissapointed in this thread. A Libra telling someone off in such a Libra way. She didn't even tell him off which you agree too. Also his fixed Aquarius which he pointed it out probably won't be affected (for long).

AVOIDING OR IGNORING HIM would be more effective. He would get the point. He is attention thirsty to show that he is smart. Don't hive him that attention and see what happens. He confronts you. Then talk to him like a nice Libra and explain yourself. That is probably exactly what I would have done (4 OP). Like I said repeadetly I don't even think the situation is a big issue bit if it is avoid him then talk like adults.
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Librawoman77
@Librawoman77
10 Years500+ Posts

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And to be honest, I've been holding in frustrations with his arrogance for a long time; being so averse to confrontation, I was extremely nervous about saying anything at all.

Within a very short period of time, you two will be back to normal because he will assess that your problem with his arrogance is your problem not his. At 15 I knew my reactions to people was about me, not them. I also learned that people have a right to be who they are without changing for me. This is called internal boundaries; see nobody makes you feel anything- you observe incoming data and have your own thinking about it, those thoughts then generate feelings and from your feelings you decide your behavior. Someone else could observe the same incoming data (his behavior) and have very different interpretation and feelings. For instance; I interpret some Aries angry outbursts as gruff, crude, rude, unacceptable and unbearable. My Leo friend interprets their behavior as cute, adorable, no big deal! I therefore use good internal and external boundaries to modify my experiences with this particular Aries.

Most people who love you will be willing to listen to how their behavior impacts your reality if it's stated in a respectful manner. His anger could have resulted from him perceiving you pushing your inability to process YOUR problem with his arrogance sufficiently enough to communicate your thoughts in a non-offensive manner. Or you select inappropriate people to befriend. You can expect him to return to his normal self really soon because he will interpret this as you having a problem that you haven't processed. He will remain fixed. Whatever the case, I am done with this.. you are just going to defend yourself, play the victim and point the finger. Good luck 🙂
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Ilovemyaqua
@Ilovemyaqua
11 Years500+ Posts

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My aqua advices on me on many things,asked or unasked.Sometimes I do go with it,other times,I just say I agree and then do my own thing,he doesn't even know. 😛 Taking anyone's advice won't harm you but going by it or not is upto you.And also,I don't think it's very okay to 'put someone in their place' when they're advicing you,and moreso if they're your friends,doesn't matter if you're seeking it or not.