I am reading in to things.

Hello again aquas
Some of you have been really helpfull with advice. I have taken the step to start no contactcwith my aqua of whom left me very recently.as some of you said..her actions are pulling me apart but right now. I still care. Naturally. Im not ready yet to delete her number and she is on my whats app..im aware she still has me on hers..and has not blocked me.
Why not ? One person has said to me this aqua clearly isnt ready to forget you altogether.
What do you think aquas ?thank you in advance. 🙂

Give yourself a chance to purge and you cannot do that when you are obsessing over her actions/behavior, delete all of it and do it before you talk yourself out of it, she's become your life, your habit, you're addicted to her and that's part of the pathology of being with a mentally ill person, you've somehow made this woman your whole entire life, step back and think about that and think about how doing that, making her more important than yourself has caused you to turn into someone you're not.

Delete it all, if you can't do it, have a friend delete it but you can't be in no contact and still have one foot in the door, just go no contact for a few weeks, you'll feel less obsessive and you'll finally begin to reconnect with who you are and inevitably ditch the old clingy, weak persona you've developed yourself into over her.

This has to be extremely hard, I know I've been in your shoes but you must try, you have to try and move on or you will turn into her, you'll have been pathologized, you'll turn into a mental mess, you have to take a drastic step or you'll stay stuck.

People that have mental issues like BPD have abandonment issues, she's not going to abandon the people she's close to b/c she's afraid of being abandoned herself, her abandonment issues have absolutely NOTHING to do with loving you, she just can't let go even if she's the one pushing people away, even if it's toxic and she's destroying the people around her, she must still have them in close proximity to mind fuck, it's a bit of Narcissism going on as well and Narcissist will hold onto the people they've groomed unless they've found better supply, she hasn't dropped you completely b/c she hasn't found someone better, a new better target has to replace you first b/f she let you go completely, yes it's selfish but that's how it is.

You cannot stick around for her to do that to you and SHE WILL DO IT, it's just a matter of time before she mentally rolls someone else over and have them completely gone over her and then she'll drop you completely, don't stick around for that.

I dont delete numbers i still have the number of an ex from five years ago. Why you ask, all part of ignoring the fact that they hurt me. Ok it seems she didnt make it to this phone but its newer. She doesnt want you to think she cares that much to do it.

I have read all your posts. You are all right. Thank you for your advice. She does kinda consume my life right now but its not stopped me doing well with my studies. Im trying to focus on that. I have lost more than her recently so i guess any crumb of happiness i try to hold on to. Time for me to hit delete.

Delete isn't forever, remember that okay, give yourself 6 to 8 weeks to be consumed by YOUR LIFE NOT HERS then and only then will you feel as if you have some control over your situation emotionally and mentally. Mental illness you will NEVER UNDERSTAND, women with Borderline, women with deep wounds will NEVER make sense to you, I've dealt with mental illness and with people with deep emotional scars, damaged and they never make sense NEVER and you trying to make sense of the why is she doing this and that will only keep you feeling possessed and obsessed and miserable, just delete her, you won't regret it.

Yet, If you feel there is a chance you'll get back together then of course deleting her wouldn't make much sense so I guess it all boils down to your own intentions which is to wait to see if she'll change her mind and want back in with you or to let her go so you can be free to do what's in your own best interest.

I can guarantee you 8 weeks of no contact will bring YOU back to the real world, no longer revolving your thoughts and life around her, you'll feel much more confident and happier. It all depends on what YOU want for yourself.

Of course I am not a man so I speak as a woman would communicate.

But I can say it like a man with less words...

Ditch the Bitch

Hi ya. Yes letting go is hard. I miss her smell ..stunning eyes and touching her skin. I hate getting in to relationships because im so affected by my senses. Well ive found out that as unhappy as she seems to let me go..she just wants to be alone. She said this during the relationship actually and started crying and holding on to me at the time saying she did not want anything with anyone but that she loves me. She cant cope being in a relationship but shes not the playing the field type either..shes always said if shes going to dobsomething it wont be for a one night stand. She likes it to mean more. I told her i have to move on and shes geuinely unhappy with it but says its not fair to ask me to wait. That is something else she said previously. Its like she wants me but is not ready. Now im confused. I know shel be heartbroken if i get someone new.

Thats ok. She does not seems pleased ive been asked out by someone else. But i guess if she cared that much ..shed do something about it. I miss her.

Both of you (the virgo woman and the libra man) really need to let these people go. I'm getting a sense of desperation from both of you. Do you honestly like that? That your love is NOT reciprocated? If a man/woman wanted to be with you he/she would. Tiki has already pulled the HUGE red flags commentary on this not only ONCE but twice, even three times. And wished you luck that you find peace. But yet you're here again, groveling.

Being a biatch is not helpfull. People have hearts and healing takes talking and time. Perhaps you could go and be unproductive and sharp tongued elsewhere.

^ If this is how you are with your feelings towards her there's no doubt she wouldn't like you even if she's attracted in some way.

You don't want helpful advice, you just want what you want to hear.

the mind understands the boundaries but the heart doesn't, talking about it is good and it helps in feeling less lonely in your sadness-- don't despair, it will be better soon