@truecap
14 Years10,000+ Posts
I should add we've been together 8 months. I've been invited for Thanksgiving with the family. It's obvious we are a couple. We are exclusive.
Be patient TrueCap, it'll come if things are going smoothly for the both of you. You can't rush love and what's the point of hearing I love you if he turn heel and run off after he feels nudged into exposing himself, it must come naturally and not feel forced. I'm not saying you can't say what you feel first but you have to be prepared to not hear it back, you must be ready to feel rejected because he may have nothing to say because he's just not there yet in the feeling department or he may expose his feelings and distance himself from you because he was pushed into a corner, those are just a few things you have to be prepared for. You can say how you feel if you truly want to say it as long as you have zero expectations of reciprocation.
8 months is not very long for a man to figure out things emotionally, you are still in the fun--get to know one another phase, the heavy stuff comes later, my motto is don't rush to get it wrong.
Thanks Tiki - what you said. That's what I'm scared of! You gave me advice several months ago, and I listened and abided by that advice.
Thought about presenting it this way: "I have strong feelings, but I'm scared of those feelings because I don't know how you feel. No pressure here. But, I don't know to protect my heart or let it run free".
But safest bet, I suppose is to keep my cardinal mouth shut! lol!
Being a young aquaman and just getting into this site (and learning tons) my only two cents would be this:
It has been eight months and if things are going smoothly that's great but could be dangerous for the future. Like tiki said, you are still in the fun getting to know you part of things. I know that eight months is more than enough for me to feel like a person is routine. Shake it up on him if you aren't already. Go out somewhere different, or something. Keep up the variation. Once it's monotonous, it's over.
Also in agreement, go ahead and be forward. Say what you wanna say. Just taking the action of speaking and including the fact that it isn't easy for you either helps. But he may still not come out to you about his feelings yet. Let him mull to over.
Sent you a message True, check your email.
Posted by tiki33
don't rush to get it wrong
This is a good motto!
Truecap, why are you threatened by your feelings? Why are you not comfortable giving them free reign? (Just for the record, allowing yourself to "feel" whatever it is that you feel is not the same as letting yourself say what you want to say😉) If you are not willing to love him unconditionally, you will not allow him to love you unconditionally.
Also, completely agree with Tiki's first comment.
You mean to say the words "I love you"?
It might be the case that you are both waiting for each other to say it fist?
Thanks guys. I really appreciate the input. It helps.
Stoic - I'm scared of the feelings because I'm afraid of getting hurt.
Its the I love you stuff. Otherwise communication is great. When i feel it, I have a need to say it. I just don't want to send him running.
It will happen.
I may be naive here, but 8 months seems like a lenghty time already... By this point, why would it scare a guy, Aqua or not? If they are ready to run from their feelings, then maybe I would question if I am with the right person? I don't want a guy running from love, I want to connect and build true intimacy.
Now Truecap, I don't advice anyone to go against their own nature and force things. If you are torn between saying it and fearing saying it first cos of rejection, just wait until your heart makes that decision for you. Imho, it will pop out one of these days from either of you because you two seem to have a good thing going on there and I believe in love. And it will be softly spoken and sweet, something to remember later.
Planning it because you think it is time and it is the next right step (yes, I see you little cap LOL) is going to take the spontaneity and magic out of things.
Thanks Demeter. I see where you're coming from and tend to agree.
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*sigh* Is it even possible to get an aqua to open up with their feelings?
How long do I have to be patient? Yeah, yeah, yeah - actions speak. He wants to SHOW me. I'm a cap and I'd rather see actions than hear empty words. And he does have the actions, but by golly, its nice to hear it, too!!!!!!
btw: Aqua sun, virgo moon, cap venus, pisces mars - Thinking it will NEVER happen.
What if I just blurt out what I'm feeling? Keep telling myself not to. Bad idea. Nix on the thought! What do you do when two signs are just as afraid as the other to verbalize? And, I've always believed the man should say things first.
Thanks ahead of time for any insight, encouragement, discouragement, thoughts, ideas - you name it.
*beats head against wall*