@haffo
21 Years5,000+ Posts
My Leo aunt
Forgive her for what? Being a control freak in general or something specific that you don't wish to disclose?
Houstonpeach74
I was living at her house as a quest for a month. One night I was watching TV and she "commanded" me to close it.lol. I ignored her commanding tone since she's my aunt and asked her whats wrong. She said: "You do not let your cousin to sleep". I say: "Look at him yourself, he's already sleeping". She says: "You will need to wake up at morning early". I say: "Don't worry about me, 3-4 hours of sleep is enough for me". She went out from the room without saying anything and cursing some little words. I continued to watch my TV since she said nothing more. Then she out of the blue came and pulled the general switch of the house, so no electricity were left in house. Surely TV has been clsoed automatically as well. I asked her whats wrong. Why she did that. She said: "This is my house, I do what I want".
In the morning, I left the house and told her to forget me as a relative.
Now I think, she's my aunt, holding resentment against her might be wrong.
From the other side, I hate her for being such a control freak.
Which way?
I was living at her house as a quest for a month. One night I was watching TV and she "commanded" me to close it.lol. I ignored her commanding tone since she's my aunt and asked her whats wrong. She said: "You do not let your cousin to sleep". I say: "Look at him yourself, he's already sleeping". She says: "You will need to wake up at morning early". I say: "Don't worry about me, 3-4 hours of sleep is enough for me". She went out from the room without saying anything and cursing some little words. I continued to watch my TV since she said nothing more. Then she out of the blue came and pulled the general switch of the house, so no electricity were left in house. Surely TV has been clsoed automatically as well. I asked her whats wrong. Why she did that. She said: "This is my house, I do what I want".
In the morning, I left the house and told her to forget me as a relative.
Now I think, she's my aunt, holding resentment against her might be wrong.
From the other side, I hate her for being such a control freak.
Which way?
Primegen
It's very similar situation. What do you think about it? How should we act?
I honestly have yet to see some signs of brains from my aunt. Until that I don't know how to deal with her. If she has brains, then all can be settled. No need for resentment. If she has no brains, then she already don't know what she does and never will. Then why hold resentment again.lol. If she does this on purporse then I don't know what to do.
Ideas?
It's very similar situation. What do you think about it? How should we act?
I honestly have yet to see some signs of brains from my aunt. Until that I don't know how to deal with her. If she has brains, then all can be settled. No need for resentment. If she has no brains, then she already don't know what she does and never will. Then why hold resentment again.lol. If she does this on purporse then I don't know what to do.
Ideas?
SB
Of course this her house. And if she says this then it means that I make her uncomfortable. That why I left. Also, if you have a guest in your house and you command them something just because it is your house they could stand up and leave and never look back. If you have a problem, you could speak it in normal way. Not commanding. She wishes to command rather than solve the problem. That is the problem.
Of course this her house. And if she says this then it means that I make her uncomfortable. That why I left. Also, if you have a guest in your house and you command them something just because it is your house they could stand up and leave and never look back. If you have a problem, you could speak it in normal way. Not commanding. She wishes to command rather than solve the problem. That is the problem.
I saw no problem. My cousin slept. I even asked wether TV disturbs him. He said clearly "No". It didn't bother my aunt at any way too. Therefore, if something I do doesn't bother anyone, why should it be wrong? After all I free to do it then. Isn't this is the rule? Just because my aunt is a control freak, this situation doesn't make her right, right?
When I was there, my other relatives told me a story about them.
There were living Jews at time when Soviets still alive. Those people were hiding their gold in their house so goverment wont take it from them. When goverment started to search their homes at the end, they started to give their gold to their neighboors for small amount of money to keep them while searchings will over.
So, one time when this thing has happened, one of those Jews famaly gave their gold to my aunts family to keep. Surprisingly they've decided to use the opportunity. When Jews came back to get back their gold stuffs, they've told that one of our relative came to their house and took the gold. But this wasn't true. They actually kept it for themselves. Jews knew that they couldn't take their gold back from that person whom my aunts familty pointed (he's also my relative) so they forfeited it. But my uncle (the person who supposedly took the gold) understood how bitch people my aunts family are. My aunts family sold those golds and bought houses and shops.
I don't know wether this story is true, but the son of this uncle who is also my cousin told me this. So it could be very strong source. My mother also knows the story (my aunt and my mother are sisters) but she does not accurately know wether this story is true or not.
They in fact have 3 houses, but my cousin claims that they were earned with hard work.
When I look at my aunt, it makes me feel that this story might be true.
There were living Jews at time when Soviets still alive. Those people were hiding their gold in their house so goverment wont take it from them. When goverment started to search their homes at the end, they started to give their gold to their neighboors for small amount of money to keep them while searchings will over.
So, one time when this thing has happened, one of those Jews famaly gave their gold to my aunts family to keep. Surprisingly they've decided to use the opportunity. When Jews came back to get back their gold stuffs, they've told that one of our relative came to their house and took the gold. But this wasn't true. They actually kept it for themselves. Jews knew that they couldn't take their gold back from that person whom my aunts familty pointed (he's also my relative) so they forfeited it. But my uncle (the person who supposedly took the gold) understood how bitch people my aunts family are. My aunts family sold those golds and bought houses and shops.
I don't know wether this story is true, but the son of this uncle who is also my cousin told me this. So it could be very strong source. My mother also knows the story (my aunt and my mother are sisters) but she does not accurately know wether this story is true or not.
They in fact have 3 houses, but my cousin claims that they were earned with hard work.
When I look at my aunt, it makes me feel that this story might be true.
Why do they need three houses? I have trouble finding stuff to put in just one.
I don't know. Perhaps they like to have more. They also have a car and a shop.
I don't know. Perhaps they like to have more. They also have a car and a shop.
I don't know Primegen. My cousin is also an Aqua. Maybe you could tell me what's on his mind. I've talked with my other relatives and all of them said that he's a liar. And the ones that I trust big time told me the same. He's a liar. He says one thing while does different thing. I don't know wether to trust him anymore or not. When he lived with us here for a year, he was totally a different person. Now when I saw him after 3 years, he turned to a totally different one. We had our disagreements but everytime we put our disagreements aside and dealt with situation is more logical and peaceful way. However, I don't know, wether he does this to smoother the relationship with me until he gets what he want or he's genuine.
Is this the same Aqua cousin you had trouble with about 5 months ago?
No. This is a new one.lol.
You cousin could just be responding to the environment he is in. If I had a controlling relative, I wouldn't tell them what I'm up to either, I'd give them a line they would believe and then go do my own thing. Otherwise it feels like being a prisoner.
Well I don't know how this could be called controlling, but here is what my uncle told me.
My uncle sells car parts. This is his business. So one day this cousin comes to him and ask how to fit some part in his car that he brought from other place while my unlce also sells those parts. My uncle was shocked, because if that cousin would come to him he could get that part from him for much cheaper price. Isnt that correct? I also think yes.
Uncle asked him: "Where did you buy this?".
He says: "From the other city"
Uncle says: "I know that this part only being sold in this city. You couldn't buy it from elsewhere. Where did you buy it?"
He confessed that he bought it from the same city where my uncle has the shop.
My uncle asked: "Why you didnt come to me, I could give you much better one for much cheaper price?".
He answered nothing.
My uncle: "Why did you lie to me?".
So as you see, this is pure lie.
How could he adapt to enviroument this way?
No. This is a new one.lol.
You cousin could just be responding to the environment he is in. If I had a controlling relative, I wouldn't tell them what I'm up to either, I'd give them a line they would believe and then go do my own thing. Otherwise it feels like being a prisoner.
Well I don't know how this could be called controlling, but here is what my uncle told me.
My uncle sells car parts. This is his business. So one day this cousin comes to him and ask how to fit some part in his car that he brought from other place while my unlce also sells those parts. My uncle was shocked, because if that cousin would come to him he could get that part from him for much cheaper price. Isnt that correct? I also think yes.
Uncle asked him: "Where did you buy this?".
He says: "From the other city"
Uncle says: "I know that this part only being sold in this city. You couldn't buy it from elsewhere. Where did you buy it?"
He confessed that he bought it from the same city where my uncle has the shop.
My uncle asked: "Why you didnt come to me, I could give you much better one for much cheaper price?".
He answered nothing.
My uncle: "Why did you lie to me?".
So as you see, this is pure lie.
How could he adapt to enviroument this way?
Forgive her because no matter how she's, she's your aunt?...
Haffo
if i were you i would forgive her coz shes my aunt and you got to respect your elders no matter what even if they are mean and harsh at times.... and come on shes your aunt... you are still a little kid for her... you may think your a grown up but for your parents and relatives you'll always be treat a cute naive kid 🙂.....
Haffo
if i were you i would forgive her coz shes my aunt and you got to respect your elders no matter what even if they are mean and harsh at times.... and come on shes your aunt... you are still a little kid for her... you may think your a grown up but for your parents and relatives you'll always be treat a cute naive kid 🙂.....
you'll always be treat a cute naive kid
oppps i meant for them you'll always be a cute lil' naive kid 😛
This is funny lol Well my aunts and uncles still see me as a kid... if they come visit every three or four months they still say 'Oh look how big you've gotten' I'm 22! I stopped growing quite some time ago! lol Specially my 'favorite' uncle, he actually said 'tc is still a kid' .... oh boyyyy *sigh* just cuz I was jumping on the trampoline with my little cousin... and every time we get together they somehow always end up putting me on the spot light and many a times it's embarrassing! Specially when they start talking about little kid me 😛 I don't know... maybe it's because I was the first niece. Ok I guess I have nothing to complain about LOL My relatives are usually enjoyable except for ONE cousin who I DO NOT LIKE... thank god she lives wayyyy across the states.... uuuuuuuggggh! We're 'friendly' I just can't stand her! Seeing her face twice was ENOUGH thank you very much ifthetrainrunsheroverandchopsherbodyintobloodypiecesiwouldthrowthepartyofalifetime!
🙂
🙂
Archer
Do you think they feel easy within for being who they are?
Actually nobody from relatives do respect them. And they know it. How could a person live this way?
Do you think they feel easy within for being who they are?
Actually nobody from relatives do respect them. And they know it. How could a person live this way?
Like Sb said you were a bad guest and she a bad host.
I don't think I was a bad guest. Just because she couldn't explain what the problem is, it doesn't make me a bad guest. It does her a bad problem solver and since she also acted like that, + a control freak.
If she had a valid point, I would obey it. If I wouldn't obey in this situation, then I would be a bad guest. But the situation hasn't come to this so it's not a matter of good or bad guest.
GL
You have a point. I also give them more chances because they are my family. But this one was too much.
I don't think I was a bad guest. Just because she couldn't explain what the problem is, it doesn't make me a bad guest. It does her a bad problem solver and since she also acted like that, + a control freak.
If she had a valid point, I would obey it. If I wouldn't obey in this situation, then I would be a bad guest. But the situation hasn't come to this so it's not a matter of good or bad guest.
GL
You have a point. I also give them more chances because they are my family. But this one was too much.
Did this help you understand your situation?
dxpnet has hosted real conversations like this since 2000. If you value independent communities, you can support the site below.
Every contribution helps keep dxpnet independent and ad-light.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →
But she's also my aunt.
If this is were you, what would you do?
1) Forgive her because no matter how she's, she's your aunt?
2) She's a control freak. Even tought she's your aunt, she's not acceptable?
PS: I especially wonder Elizas POV. But everybodys idea is welcome.