Need some sage advice from you lovely aquas...

I had a post before about my aqua cutting out on nye and then flip flopping and finally dumping me for crazy bs reasons. He has recently informed me that it was bc of his own fears, insecurities and also some jealousy. (which i knew already but never said to him). He said he didnt like the way it felt. Wish he woulda just talked to me!! My question, how do i proceed? I want to assuage his fears and make him feel safe but i dont want to go overboard and pressure him. Also wanna make sure this NEVER happens again. Tips for treading lightly so we may be able to mend this? Please only positive vibes. Thanks much!

Buh! I know you guys like to disappear to recharge and regroup, i do the same...i need a little light shed on the inner workings of your delicate hearts...

@boxcarmirnta

I'm not Aqua, but from my experiencing dating one I can tell you that the fact that he feels this way and even communicated it to you means he is really into you and all of the emotions etc freak them out. As for it never happening again I'm not sure that's something you can bank on lol. Is it at a pivotal point in life or does he have a lot going on? My Aqua early on was and he acted exactly the same way-needed space, would panick, disappear, act unlike himself. Later on he revealed that he felt a lot of pressure to have it together for me. I was fine helping him figure it out but maybe it's an Aqua thing. He felt he had to do it on his own and that eventually let to our demise. I would say give him A LOT of space and try to be extremely understanding? Only offer advice if needed and let him know that you're there for him. Anything else will probably push him further away. I can say all this now because this is the opposite of what I did lol.

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Buh! I know you guys like to disappear to recharge and regroup, i do the same...i need a little light shed on the inner workings of your delicate hearts...

but we don't have hearts or feelings.

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Buh! I know you guys like to disappear to recharge and regroup, i do the same...i need a little light shed on the inner workings of your delicate hearts...

but we don't have hearts or feelings.

click to expand

Not helpful, not true.

Posted by Strongpisces
@boxcarmirnta

I'm not Aqua, but from my experiencing dating one I can tell you that the fact that he feels this way and even communicated it to you means he is really into you and all of the emotions etc freak them out. As for it never happening again I'm not sure that's something you can bank on lol. Is it at a pivotal point in life or does he have a lot going on? My Aqua early on was and he acted exactly the same way-needed space, would panick, disappear, act unlike himself. Later on he revealed that he felt a lot of pressure to have it together for me. I was fine helping him figure it out but maybe it's an Aqua thing. He felt he had to do it on his own and that eventually let to our demise. I would say give him A LOT of space and try to be extremely understanding? Only offer advice if needed and let him know that you're there for him. Anything else will probably push him further away. I can say all this now because this is the opposite of what I did lol.

Thank you! That was great advice. Sorry it didnt work out for you..i'm pretty good with the space stuff i can do that..i won't bug him just make sure he knows i care.

Oh he doesnt have anything major happening in his life, no.

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Buh! I know you guys like to disappear to recharge and regroup, i do the same...i need a little light shed on the inner workings of your delicate hearts...

but we don't have hearts or feelings.

Not helpful, not true.

click to expand

lol, it's how we get treated by many people tbh. and what i read on many threads here, that we are cold heart, unfeeling and don't care about others.

as for your guy and how to handle it.

you can't stop him from getting jealous, that's on him. You need to ask yourself, are you okay with things going back to how it was or seeming like it was? I only briefly recall your thread tbh. if you said hurtful things, you need to own up to your actions and apologize, but you need him to apologize for any of his actions. Communicate with him.

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Buh! I know you guys like to disappear to recharge and regroup, i do the same...i need a little light shed on the inner workings of your delicate hearts...

but we don't have hearts or feelings.

Not helpful, not true.

lol, it's how we get treated by many people tbh. and what i read on many threads here, that we are cold heart, unfeeling and don't care about others.

as for your guy and how to handle it.

you can't stop him from getting jealous, that's on him. You need to ask yourself, are you okay with things going back to how it was or seeming like it was? I only briefly recall your thread tbh. if you said hurtful things, you need to own up to your actions and apologize, but you need him to apologize for any of his actions. Communicate with him.

click to expand

Aw. You guys just keep your business hidden...it's cool. I didnt say anything hurtful, he just kinda freaked out, things got very overwhelming for him...and he split and i was left in the dark. he is just now telling me his real feelings..i'm hoping if we can talk thru it, things can resume as normal, but i guess thats up to him. :/

He is A REALLY emotional guy i think it just becomes too much for him sometimes..

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Buh! I know you guys like to disappear to recharge and regroup, i do the same...i need a little light shed on the inner workings of your delicate hearts...

but we don't have hearts or feelings.

Not helpful, not true.

lol, it's how we get treated by many people tbh. and what i read on many threads here, that we are cold heart, unfeeling and don't care about others.

as for your guy and how to handle it.

you can't stop him from getting jealous, that's on him. You need to ask yourself, are you okay with things going back to how it was or seeming like it was? I only briefly recall your thread tbh. if you said hurtful things, you need to own up to your actions and apologize, but you need him to apologize for any of his actions. Communicate with him.

Aw. You guys just keep your business hidden...it's cool. I didnt say anything hurtful, he just kinda freaked out, things got very overwhelming for him...and he split and i was left in the dark. he is just now telling me his real feelings..i'm hoping if we can talk thru it, things can resume as normal, but i guess thats up to him. :/

click to expand

No it's up to both of you. he left you stranded? you need to call him out for that shit. Don't allow anyone to mistreat you. But yes, very private.. to our undoing sometimes. Its a struggle for many Aquas ot be vunerable. Keep that in mind. if he's laying his heart on the table, that speaks more than anything else will.

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Buh! I know you guys like to disappear to recharge and regroup, i do the same...i need a little light shed on the inner workings of your delicate hearts...

but we don't have hearts or feelings.

Not helpful, not true.

lol, it's how we get treated by many people tbh. and what i read on many threads here, that we are cold heart, unfeeling and don't care about others.

as for your guy and how to handle it.

you can't stop him from getting jealous, that's on him. You need to ask yourself, are you okay with things going back to how it was or seeming like it was? I only briefly recall your thread tbh. if you said hurtful things, you need to own up to your actions and apologize, but you need him to apologize for any of his actions. Communicate with him.

Aw. You guys just keep your business hidden...it's cool. I didnt say anything hurtful, he just kinda freaked out, things got very overwhelming for him...and he split and i was left in the dark. he is just now telling me his real feelings..i'm hoping if we can talk thru it, things can resume as normal, but i guess thats up to him. :/

No it's up to both of you. he left you stranded? you need to call him out for that shit. Don't allow anyone to mistreat you. But yes, very private.. to our undoing sometimes. Its a struggle for many Aquas ot be vunerable. Keep that in mind. if he's laying his heart on the table, that speaks more than anything else will.

click to expand

Yea he did. Ill let him know it wasnt ok. Ok good to know.

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Buh! I know you guys like to disappear to recharge and regroup, i do the same...i need a little light shed on the inner workings of your delicate hearts...

but we don't have hearts or feelings.

Not helpful, not true.

lol, it's how we get treated by many people tbh. and what i read on many threads here, that we are cold heart, unfeeling and don't care about others.

as for your guy and how to handle it.

you can't stop him from getting jealous, that's on him. You need to ask yourself, are you okay with things going back to how it was or seeming like it was? I only briefly recall your thread tbh. if you said hurtful things, you need to own up to your actions and apologize, but you need him to apologize for any of his actions. Communicate with him.

Aw. You guys just keep your business hidden...it's cool. I didnt say anything hurtful, he just kinda freaked out, things got very overwhelming for him...and he split and i was left in the dark. he is just now telling me his real feelings..i'm hoping if we can talk thru it, things can resume as normal, but i guess thats up to him. :/

No it's up to both of you. he left you stranded? you need to call him out for that shit. Don't allow anyone to mistreat you. But yes, very private.. to our undoing sometimes. Its a struggle for many Aquas ot be vunerable. Keep that in mind. if he's laying his heart on the table, that speaks more than anything else will.

Yea he did. Ill let him know it wasnt ok. Ok good to know.

click to expand

Well, that is just plain asshole move imo. 😢

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Buh! I know you guys like to disappear to recharge and regroup, i do the same...i need a little light shed on the inner workings of your delicate hearts...

but we don't have hearts or feelings.

Not helpful, not true.

lol, it's how we get treated by many people tbh. and what i read on many threads here, that we are cold heart, unfeeling and don't care about others.

as for your guy and how to handle it.

you can't stop him from getting jealous, that's on him. You need to ask yourself, are you okay with things going back to how it was or seeming like it was? I only briefly recall your thread tbh. if you said hurtful things, you need to own up to your actions and apologize, but you need him to apologize for any of his actions. Communicate with him.

Aw. You guys just keep your business hidden...it's cool. I didnt say anything hurtful, he just kinda freaked out, things got very overwhelming for him...and he split and i was left in the dark. he is just now telling me his real feelings..i'm hoping if we can talk thru it, things can resume as normal, but i guess thats up to him. :/

No it's up to both of you. he left you stranded? you need to call him out for that shit. Don't allow anyone to mistreat you. But yes, very private.. to our undoing sometimes. Its a struggle for many Aquas ot be vunerable. Keep that in mind. if he's laying his heart on the table, that speaks more than anything else will.

Yea he did. Ill let him know it wasnt ok. Ok good to know.

Well, that is just plain asshole move imo. 😢

click to expand

IT was a bitch move for sure. At least hes coming clean now..but trust will def be an issue.

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by justagirl

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Buh! I know you guys like to disappear to recharge and regroup, i do the same...i need a little light shed on the inner workings of your delicate hearts...

but we don't have hearts or feelings.

Not helpful, not true.

lol, it's how we get treated by many people tbh. and what i read on many threads here, that we are cold heart, unfeeling and don't care about others.

as for your guy and how to handle it.

you can't stop him from getting jealous, that's on him. You need to ask yourself, are you okay with things going back to how it was or seeming like it was? I only briefly recall your thread tbh. if you said hurtful things, you need to own up to your actions and apologize, but you need him to apologize for any of his actions. Communicate with him.

Aw. You guys just keep your business hidden...it's cool. I didnt say anything hurtful, he just kinda freaked out, things got very overwhelming for him...and he split and i was left in the dark. he is just now telling me his real feelings..i'm hoping if we can talk thru it, things can resume as normal, but i guess thats up to him. :/

No it's up to both of you. he left you stranded? you need to call him out for that shit. Don't allow anyone to mistreat you. But yes, very private.. to our undoing sometimes. Its a struggle for many Aquas ot be vunerable. Keep that in mind. if he's laying his heart on the table, that speaks more than anything else will.

Yea he did. Ill let him know it wasnt ok. Ok good to know.

Well, that is just plain asshole move imo. 😢

IT was a bitch move for sure. At least hes coming clean now..but trust will def be an issue.

click to expand

Wellllll, my thing is no trust= no relationship, but you will hopefully get things sorted and i hope things work out for you 🙂

Wow you guys really have your shit under lock and key huh? Thx to the 2 ppl that helped..just in case anyone gives a shit or has the same issue with their aqua and googles this shit: i got him to express everything he was afraid and i reassured him none of it was true. He retreats when hes hurt and scared. And a bit of a defeatist. Things are fine now..it really seems insecurities are self sabotagers. You just gotta be strong confident and calm and let them know their fears are unfounded if you truly care about them. Its usually about them not you. The end.

Prevent doing things that could make him feel jealous. You're in control of that aspect

Posted by truecap
Prevent doing things that could make him feel jealous. You're in control of that aspect

Will do.

Posted by aquarius_beauty
An Aqua never walks away without valid reasons! No matter if those reasons are foolish to you...they're not to him..

He was pondering for it for a while for him just to simply walk away like that.

Indeed. They mattered a lot but we worked thru it and i made it clear his fears were unfounded and that he could trust me. Hes a sweetheart for real.