Open up and hide...

Do Aquas generally go and hide out for a while after opening up. I had a conversation with my Aqua love interest and basically managed to get him to open up to me about his feelings on a certain issue we were facing. He did, I could see it was hard for him. I hugged him, gave him a huge kiss and told him how much I loved him, then I had to leave. I figured from his facial expression (I'm quite good at reading him) that I would just leave him to it, so sent him a note telling him how much I appreciate him opening up to me and apologising for if I made him feel pressured. In response, he's gone silent or into hiding as I call it. He always comes around. I just want to know, is this my life in this relationship? Do Aquas really have to recharge like this after each emotional revelation or acknowledgement? I'm cool with it, because I love him, but this shit is testing as fuck! How many loves do Aquas lose this way? I'm standing firm, but I know why others may not have!!!

his pride

Posted by busyeyes88
I don't think.it.is just about his sun sign. I'm not sure what sign you are but never pressure anyone to "open up" let them feel free enough to do so in their own time!!!

I can't say I blame him. He's probably gone to get his emotions back together again!

I agree with you to an extent. Sometimes people need encouragement to speak up, if they see it as pressure I can only apologise. All you read is that I apologised if I made him feel pressured and you concluded I pressured him? I am very patient at best, but I need communication from time to time on important issues concerning our future together, if that means he runs and hides after so be it. I always allow him that time and space. In fact it is how we got so close and strong. For my sake he has to face some emotional situations head on, for his sake I give him time to do it, and time after doing it, but he has to do it eventually. Our relationship exists in the real world, not just in his Aqua mind comfort zone world!

My essential question is, does this get easier with time, or will he always run for the hills after opening up whether voluntarily or with encouragement?

Posted by aquasnoz
his pride

It dents his pride to face his feelings? It's ridiculous sometimes, but I love him so I bear it. Don't think I could if I didn't.

Posted by Romancelives

Posted by aquasnoz
his pride

It dents his pride to face his feelings? It's ridiculous sometimes, but I love him so I bear it. Don't think I could if I didn't.

click to expand

I don't like to feel vulnerable, I have pride that I can work out my own feelings and short comings so it's embarassing I need others to help me feel better.

Well that was once upon a time.

Afterwards it forces me to reflect on what I shared, if what I said was true, if what I was feeling at the time was true or at least definitive of myself.

And no even today I don't really share my deepest thoughts with those closest to me.

With time I've learnt that what I feel is irrelevant, it's only of that moment and it usually fades.

I've not met an aquarius to always share what's on their mind, it's more of a if you happen to be there then it just happens.

In a way it's like that.

The way I've always seen it is that if an issue exists then one can only solve it and move on. If one has to voice it out then it's a complaint which isn't useful to anybody. What I feel at that moment of confession is merely an exaggerated moment of those emotions.

If this has to do with the op and her aqua's personal issues then the right thing would be to confront each other and not hide because to me hiding is avoiding the issue. I think there's a moment of revelation when we're self indulged in a conflict until both sides open up, as an aquarius you're suddenly forced to see the other side of the story and how much of an impact it had on others when you don't open up then it becomes this cycle of well I'm fucked either ways if I speak my mind or not speak my mind.

I almost ended a 10 year long friendship when my friend forced me to talk about certain things in the past. When we don't want to talk, we really just don't want to talk.

Also I could be wired differently here but I don't withhold feelings of desire, lust or longing. Life is too short for that!

Posted by aquasnoz
In a way it's like that.

The way I've always seen it is that if an issue exists then one can only solve it and move on. If one has to voice it out then it's a complaint which isn't useful to anybody. What I feel at that moment of confession is merely an exaggerated moment of those emotions.

If this has to do with the op and her aqua's personal issues then the right thing would be to confront each other and not hide because to me hiding is avoiding the issue. I think there's a moment of revelation when we're self indulged in a conflict until both sides open up, as an aquarius you're suddenly forced to see the other side of the story and how much of an impact it had on others when you don't open up then it becomes this cycle of well I'm fucked either ways if I speak my mind or not speak my mind.

I almost ended a 10 year long friendship when my friend forced me to talk about certain things in the past. When we don't want to talk, we really just don't want to talk.

There was no force involved lots of open ended questions, as I needed clarity. My final question was "Is that because you want me to..." to which he nodded. So I asked him, so why don't you say it? To which he said "I want you to..." And I saw he meant it but saying it was tough. I needed to hear him say it, and knew that. I can't continue just going by my intuition which is what I always do and I'm spot on most times. I assurance sometimes toons if that effects his pride then, we'll have to just tough it out! I know he loves me just as much as I do him, if not more, he just isn't good with letting it show all the time, it's like he fears it!

Posted by Romancelives

Posted by aquasnoz
In a way it's like that.

The way I've always seen it is that if an issue exists then one can only solve it and move on. If one has to voice it out then it's a complaint which isn't useful to anybody. What I feel at that moment of confession is merely an exaggerated moment of those emotions.

If this has to do with the op and her aqua's personal issues then the right thing would be to confront each other and not hide because to me hiding is avoiding the issue. I think there's a moment of revelation when we're self indulged in a conflict until both sides open up, as an aquarius you're suddenly forced to see the other side of the story and how much of an impact it had on others when you don't open up then it becomes this cycle of well I'm fucked either ways if I speak my mind or not speak my mind.

I almost ended a 10 year long friendship when my friend forced me to talk about certain things in the past. When we don't want to talk, we really just don't want to talk.

There was no force involved lots of open ended questions, as I needed clarity. My final question was "Is that because you want me to..." to which he nodded. So I asked him, so why don't you say it? To which he said "I want you to..." And I saw he meant it but saying it was tough. I needed to hear him say it, and knew that. I can't continue just going by my intuition which is what I always do and I'm spot on most times. I assurance sometimes toons if that effects his pride then, we'll have to just tough it out! I know he loves me just as much as I do him, if not more, he just isn't good with letting it show all the time, it's like he fears it!

click to expand

*and he knew that

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by Romancelives

Posted by busyeyes88
I don't think.it.is just about his sun sign. I'm not sure what sign you are but never pressure anyone to "open up" let them feel free enough to do so in their own time!!!

I can't say I blame him. He's probably gone to get his emotions back together again!

I agree with you to an extent. Sometimes people need encouragement to speak up, if they see it as pressure I can only apologise. All you read is that I apologised if I made him feel pressured and you concluded I pressured him? I am very patient at best, but I need communication from time to time on important issues concerning our future together, if that means he runs and hides after so be it. I always allow him that time and space. In fact it is how we got so close and strong. For my sake he has to face some emotional situations head on, for his sake I give him time to do it, and time after doing it, but he has to do it eventually. Our relationship exists in the real world, not just in his Aqua mind comfort zone world!

My essential question is, does this get easier with time, or will he always run for the hills after opening up whether voluntarily or with encouragement?

If it makes him feel better... Yes he probably will!!! Some people are no good at opening up and I myself am one of them and would also need lots of alone time if I had to open up...

click to expand

Why is that? Do you have a fear of vulnerability? I'm interested in understanding, you needn't answer, but I'd appreciate you doing so. 🙂

I think he needs space. I need space just reading that post.

Also, with my Aqua ex, he showed a lot of discomfort saying the 3 little words and rarely said it. Even kissing..he wasn't a kisser. However, he showed his love through actions..I never doubted his love for me.

Where is your sun and moon?

Where is his moon?

Posted by aquasnoz
And no even today I don't really share my deepest thoughts with those closest to me.

With time I've learnt that what I feel is irrelevant, it's only of that moment and it usually fades.

I've not met an aquarius to always share what's on their mind, it's more of a if you happen to be there then it just happens.

Verbal diarrhea all over whomever happens to be around lolol

I kid, i kid. Sort of.

If i have let my walls down and shared a part of myself that i rarely show others, yes i step back, analyze and hide if you will.

Vulnerabilities are kryptonite for me.

Posted by aqualady0118
I think he needs space. I need space just reading that post.

LMAO, exaggeration much? As I said, I always give him space when he needs it. I too don't doubt his feelings for me, however I operate differently, we are still adjusting I guess, though there is no adjusting with you Aquas is there? I don't want him to change, I love him as he is, I just need input sometimes, which he gives then hides for a while.

Posted by justagirl
If i have let my walls down and shared a part of myself that i rarely show others, yes i step back, analyze and hide if you will.

Vulnerabilities are kryptonite for me.

Awwww, really? Does that change with time or does it remain no matter how long the relationship? Is the same true when people open their hearts to you?

Posted by aqualady0118
Also, with my Aqua ex, he showed a lot of discomfort saying the 3 little words and rarely said it. Even kissing..he wasn't a kisser. However, he showed his love through actions..I never doubted his love for me.

...but now he's an ex? That's my point, I find Aquas make it so difficult at times it ends up failing. Not that I know your reason of course. I just feel it gets tough to love someone so much, yet they keep you at arms length emotionally. That's why I draw him out sometimes, it can't all be one way, that's why it's a relationship, we have to learn to relate to each other or it won't/can't last!

So far, he always comes back after his 'recharge' and the bond always seems stronger!

Posted by Romancelives

Posted by justagirl
If i have let my walls down and shared a part of myself that i rarely show others, yes i step back, analyze and hide if you will.

Vulnerabilities are kryptonite for me.

Awwww, really? Does that change with time or does it remain no matter how long the relationship? Is the same true when people open their hearts to you?

click to expand

It gets better after time. At least for me. Also as i have grown older, it's not as hard to open up as it once was.

Posted by Romancelives

Posted by aquasnoz
In a way it's like that.

The way I've always seen it is that if an issue exists then one can only solve it and move on. If one has to voice it out then it's a complaint which isn't useful to anybody. What I feel at that moment of confession is merely an exaggerated moment of those emotions.

If this has to do with the op and her aqua's personal issues then the right thing would be to confront each other and not hide because to me hiding is avoiding the issue. I think there's a moment of revelation when we're self indulged in a conflict until both sides open up, as an aquarius you're suddenly forced to see the other side of the story and how much of an impact it had on others when you don't open up then it becomes this cycle of well I'm fucked either ways if I speak my mind or not speak my mind.

I almost ended a 10 year long friendship when my friend forced me to talk about certain things in the past. When we don't want to talk, we really just don't want to talk.

There was no force involved lots of open ended questions, as I needed clarity. My final question was "Is that because you want me to..." to which he nodded. So I asked him, so why don't you say it? To which he said "I want you to..." And I saw he meant it but saying it was tough. I needed to hear him say it, and knew that. I can't continue just going by my intuition which is what I always do and I'm spot on most times. I assurance sometimes toons if that effects his pride then, we'll have to just tough it out! I know he loves me just as much as I do him, if not more, he just isn't good with letting it show all the time, it's like he fears it!

click to expand

You may not have forced it, it still doesn't mean he didn't feel forced to reveal it.

True, I sensed that, so I mentioned it by way of apology, then gave him room to manoeuvre. I'm sure he'll come to a fair conclusion, which is I love him and want to understand him, as he learns to understand me too.

Posted by justagirl

Posted by Romancelives

Posted by justagirl
If i have let my walls down and shared a part of myself that i rarely show others, yes i step back, analyze and hide if you will.

Vulnerabilities are kryptonite for me.

Awwww, really? Does that change with time or does it remain no matter how long the relationship? Is the same true when people open their hearts to you?

It gets better after time. At least for me. Also as i have grown older, it's not as hard to open up as it once was.

click to expand

That's a comforting thought...

Posted by Romancelives

Posted by aqualady0118
Also, with my Aqua ex, he showed a lot of discomfort saying the 3 little words and rarely said it. Even kissing..he wasn't a kisser. However, he showed his love through actions..I never doubted his love for me.

...but now he's an ex? That's my point, I find Aquas make it so difficult at times it ends up failing. Not that I know your reason of course. I just feel it gets tough to love someone so much, yet they keep you at arms length emotionally. That's why I draw him out sometimes, it can't all be one way, that's why it's a relationship, we have to learn to relate to each other or it won't/can't last!

So far, he always comes back after his 'recharge' and the bond always seems stronger!

click to expand

That's right he's an ex now for reasons that are none of your business. When we were together though, we understood each other's need for space and knew exactly what we each were thinking. He's still in my life and he will always remain special to me. I only found Aquas and Geminis compatible with myself. Most people can't handle us.

Posted by aqualady0118

Posted by Romancelives

Posted by aqualady0118
Also, with my Aqua ex, he showed a lot of discomfort saying the 3 little words and rarely said it. Even kissing..he wasn't a kisser. However, he showed his love through actions..I never doubted his love for me.

...but now he's an ex? That's my point, I find Aquas make it so difficult at times it ends up failing. Not that I know your reason of course. I just feel it gets tough to love someone so much, yet they keep you at arms length emotionally. That's why I draw him out sometimes, it can't all be one way, that's why it's a relationship, we have to learn to relate to each other or it won't/can't last!

So far, he always comes back after his 'recharge' and the bond always seems stronger!

That's right he's an ex now for reasons that are none of your business. When we were together though, we understood each other's need for space and knew exactly what we each were thinking. He's still in my life and he will always remain special to me. I only found Aquas and Geminis compatible with myself. Most people can't handle us.

click to expand

Oops,for sure none of my business, I wasn't asking either. Hope no offence taken!

Yeah, Geminis could deal cos they are scared of emotions too, but perhaps in a more apparent, I don't give a fuck way, cos they don't, whereas Aquas secretly do give a fuck, but will handle it if they are left. Leave Gem, they'll instantly heal. Leave an Aqua, they'll eventually heal ish and the wall will be fortified and higher for the next love interest!

Libs are known for allowing realise that we have emotions for a reason, and letting them out sometimes (in your own time of course) is quite liberating.

Is this the same Aquarian you bought a laptop for—

Posted by killerwhalemoon
As an aqua myself thanking me for doing something im not good at makes me feel like your my mother and thats not attractive. Id drop the first person to do that. I do it on my terms when i want to and if anyone gives me credit ill never do it again.

Wow, thank GOD he's not like you then!!! Sounds a bit sad that you think only your mother should be supportive of your efforts... Well, I guess if he REALLY didn't want to he wouldn't have, But he did and I recognised how tough it was for him and I showed my appreciation! Why should that cause anyone who isn't selfish and self absorbed to not do it again.

Let me guess, you are a young unevolved Aqua? or could be just unevolved? Which poor self depreciating person will you find on this earth that will live by your terms alone? Relationships are a two way street!!! How boring would it be to have someone who always lets you have your way? You're not always right for start...

Posted by killerwhalemoon
As an aqua myself thanking me for doing something im not good at makes me feel like your my mother and thats not attractive. Id drop the first person to do that. I do it on my terms when i want to and if anyone gives me credit ill never do it again.

Wow, thank GOD he's not like you then!!! Sounds a bit sad that you think only your mother should be supportive of your efforts... Well, I guess if he REALLY didn't want to he wouldn't have, But he did and I recognised how tough it was for him and I showed my appreciation! Why should that cause anyone who isn't selfish and self absorbed to not do it again.

Let me guess, you are a young unevolved Aqua? or could be just unevolved? Which poor self depreciating person will you find on this earth that will live by your terms alone? Relationships are a two way street!!! How boring would it be to have someone who always lets you have your way? You're not always right for start...

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
Is this the same Aquarian you bought a laptop for—

The laptop is for a different Aquarian. I have several Aquas, male and female, it's kinda stressful! Lol

Posted by killerwhalemoon

Posted by Romancelives

Posted by killerwhalemoon
As an aqua myself thanking me for doing something im not good at makes me feel like your my mother and thats not attractive. Id drop the first person to do that. I do it on my terms when i want to and if anyone gives me credit ill never do it again.

Wow, thank GOD he's not like you then!!! Sounds a bit sad that you think only your mother should be supportive of your efforts... Well, I guess if he REALLY didn't want to he wouldn't have, But he did and I recognised how tough it was for him and I showed my appreciation! Why should that cause anyone who isn't selfish and self absorbed to not do it again.

Let me guess, you are a young unevolved Aqua? or could be just unevolved? Which poor self depreciating person will you find on this earth that will live by your terms alone? Relationships are a two way street!!! How boring would it be to have someone who always lets you have your way? You're not always right for start...

I havent actually had anyone do that to me because they know me well enough.
I dont feel bad about the way I work. Im sorry you do tho 🙂

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I really don't feel bad at all. I just don't understand I guess... 🙂

Posted by killerwhalemoon

Posted by Romancelives

Posted by killerwhalemoon

Posted by Romancelives

Posted by killerwhalemoon
As an aqua myself thanking me for doing something im not good at makes me feel like your my mother and thats not attractive. Id drop the first person to do that. I do it on my terms when i want to and if anyone gives me credit ill never do it again.

Wow, thank GOD he's not like you then!!! Sounds a bit sad that you think only your mother should be supportive of your efforts... Well, I guess if he REALLY didn't want to he wouldn't have, But he did and I recognised how tough it was for him and I showed my appreciation! Why should that cause anyone who isn't selfish and self absorbed to not do it again.

Let me guess, you are a young unevolved Aqua? or could be just unevolved? Which poor self depreciating person will you find on this earth that will live by your terms alone? Relationships are a two way street!!! How boring would it be to have someone who always lets you have your way? You're not always right for start...

I havent actually had anyone do that to me because they know me well enough.
I dont feel bad about the way I work. Im sorry you do tho 🙂

I really don't feel bad at all. I just don't understand I guess... 🙂

For not understanding you sure got offended. You should keep an open mind about things you dont understand.

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It's human nature to be defensive, attack, run or shut down in the face of what we don't understand. I will try to keep an open mind as you say. Nobody gains understanding with a closed mind or resisting change, I guess that's why "on my terms" hit a nerve, if we all operated on only individualistic terms, where would we end up. There's always room for communication and compromise if needed. That's open minded in my book.... Thanks for your input.