The main 1 thing

We notice everything, right?! We observe everything?! Even when we're not trying to, we can't help it. It's in our nature to be owls in new situations lol

Quick question: When you 1st MEET someone, (potential friend, new co-worker, your friend's mate, potential partner, etc.) which is the FIRST main thing you're looking for OR notice when it comes to them gaining your approval? Although you'll eventually wanna observe all 4, what is the order of importance of the 4?

1. How they think (you pay attention to how they talk, the logic (or lack of) they use, how they answer yours or other's questions, their philosophies that reflect their morals/values).

2. How they carry themselves (How they walk, their body language, their outer level of confidence or lack of, how they dress, how they socially interact with others).

3. What they have/don't have (Their physical attributes, their popularity with others, their status, their stability--house, car, good job or a job at all, their reputation, the level or amount of approval they get from others--etc.)

4. Other (please explain other)

And yes, there is a difference b/w the 4, even though they sometimes intertwine together.

For me, I'd say 1 first, 2 second, & 3rd last lol

The 1 thing I've noticed & like about Aquas is that they are usually ones to base the majority of their approval of you on what they see vs. how some others 1st have to gage whether or not others approve of you.

It's true. Some people need to see how others perceive you FIRST before they're willing to even give you a chance. They base "hmm should I get to know you?!" based on the level of interest others have 1st taken in them. Sometimes they do this SUBCONSCIOUSLY. If you don't have a good reputation or seem unlikable to a lot of others before they got to them, they somewhat lose interest into seeing what you're all about. Doesn't mean they won't wanna get to know you at all though. Just that your value as a potentially likeable person goes down or changes according to how others 1st perceived you.

I see this a lot in friendships with certain signs. If their friends or associates automatically dismiss someone for whatever reason, their interest in personally getting to know that person dramatically decreases. Same with work relationships. If they've just come back from vacation & see a new person on the job whom their co-workers already don't like, they subconsciously lose that flame to immediately get to know them unlike they would persay all the chatter about them was good & admirable

For me though, my curiosity of what they're about actually increases the more off limits or unlikeable to others they may seem. But I think that's b/c Aquas either don't mind OR prefer the underdog, rebel or outcast. I could care less that I may be the only one who wants to see what they're all about. I guess this stems from me not giving 2 sh***ts about who approves of me like some other signs may think, so of course I have this same mentality when it comes to me crossing paths with others.

You'd think everyone was like that, but they aren't.

I have mars in aqua, hopefully that qualifies me to respond....??

For me it's more of a combination. For instance, I notice what they say vs what they do. Do their actions match their words? That may be more my cap core, but are your words ringing true or false? The body language can cancel out the words, just as the actions can. The aqua mars doesn't care what other people think of that person, I'll make my own opinions thank you very much. If I am unsure from the get go, I will observe them and see if I like what I see. I pay attention to their values, morals, ethics, etc.

Usually I know right off whether I like someone or not. I have been known to change my mind or been fooled by a good talker, but usually I see through a lot of BS. I feel like I can look right through their defense mechanisms to the person underneath (insecure, arrogant, full of baloney, etc). Credit goes to my scorpio rising for that gift. My first impressions are usually never wrong.

i don't really understand the topic/theme of this. You mean who we let INto our real life circles? is that what you mean? I don't really interact with much people to be honest. So i don't have that problem.

It must be HELL to be around so many people and you have to see if their motives are bad and they intend to do you harm. Fuck that. Just don't get involved with too many people. Keep to your small circle. Unless you yourself are just the type of person who is just allows everyone in, then go to it, knock yourself out.

4. Other

I met a girl on Sunday, my good friend invited her to hang out with the 3 of us. My initial impression of her was great. Her and I talked with ease, she was upbeat and energetic. However, as the day progressed, I wanted little to nothing to do with her. This is just me, I'm a bit particular, but this is why.

1. My friend bought her lunch and a glass of wine, which was nice of him, but she never said thank you or seemed appreciative, but more like it was expected. Ok, I let that one slide.
2. My other good friend invited her over with us to go into the jacuzzi at his house, she said yes, and arrived empty handed, but wanted to drink.
3. She drank all of my wine (I have wine at my friends house since I am there often)
4. My friend put some food in the oven, she ate most of what he made for the 4 of us, we had to eat fast if we wanted any
5. She drove there, but rather then driving home, she decided to take a 2-hour nap on his couch
6. When it got late, the 3 of us got up and turned the TV on, but she stayed on the couch not getting the hint
7. She left and said by, not one thank you was extended

Perhaps I'm being a bit too nit picky, but for me, having bad manners drops you down to the bottom of my list. Needless to say, she won't be hanging out with us again.

Well, I wouldn't necessarily say that we were talking behind her back. We simply had a 5-minute discussion of "wow... she made herself comfortable" and then dropped it. Sure, I'd tell her, but I don't care enough, nor do the other 2. The guy that invited her hasn't seen her since highschool, and invited her just on a whim. If it was someone I was close with or knew would be coming around, then it would be different.

Well 1st impressions are everything.

Doesn't mean that you have to be friends with OR even dislike the person who may have left a good or bad impression on you.

As they say, a person has 30 seconds to sell themselves to others around them. Approving of someone very early on is sometimes subconscious, even if you never plan on speaking to them or starting a personal relationship with them (which is why this topic even applies to those who rarely put in the effort to make new friends...i.e. have a small circle & are just fine with that).

And in environments were acceptance/approval is almost always needed in order for any social interaction with them to continue or start to begin with, there's certain things that must be there in order for that process to start...hence the reason for this topic...hence the reasoning for the specific questions asked...

I don't have a big urge to be friends with everyone I cross paths with either, but for me, I think 1st impressions that I personally saw for myself are important and are the ONLY factor in whether or not I approve of someone mentally vs. how others need to find out another person's 1st impression of you before they consciously (or subconsciously) decide whether or not you're worth a 2nd look.

And again, some of you may not give 2 sh***ts lol. I mentioned that just b/c some people aren't this way doesn't mean that all aren't. Plenty of people will base 1/2 of their 1st impression of you based on someone else's 1st impression of you FIRST! Huge difference

Online dating is a perfect example.

You just kind of peruse a site, & may not have any intentions on speaking to them just yet. But based on what you see in their profile + the kinds of things they say + the kind of philosophies about love/life they seem to have + their physical appearance + how they carry themselves in their pictures is all a process that either warrants subconscious approval (which leads to you developing the desire to interact with them) or subconscious disapproval (which completely eliminates your desire to begin interacting with them...you move on to other prospects w/o the other person ever knowing that you were observing them in the 1st place).

Everybody does this. People not only do this with other people, but they also do this when walking in a grocery store, walking past a bunch of books in a bookstore or in other areas where the way something/someone is presented makes all the difference in whether or not they peak your interest.

This topic was more about the times when something/someone DOES peak your interest & what your mental/psychological process is like during that time.

10 people can tell me that a movie or person is boring & there's 2 things that'll happen. Either I'll 1. Not care, watch it & see for myself before I come to any conclusions OR I'll 2. Grow a bigger curiosity to explore it since others hate it so much (I do this b/c I've noticed that Aquas may really like something/someone that others may completely hate). And not only will we gravitate towards it out of curiosity, but we'll also be unapologetic for doing so.

All signs aren't necessarily like that.

Posted by kindness
4. Other

I met a girl on Sunday, my good friend invited her to hang out with the 3 of us. My initial impression of her was great. Her and I talked with ease, she was upbeat and energetic. However, as the day progressed, I wanted little to nothing to do with her. This is just me, I'm a bit particular, but this is why.

1. My friend bought her lunch and a glass of wine, which was nice of him, but she never said thank you or seemed appreciative, but more like it was expected. Ok, I let that one slide.
2. My other good friend invited her over with us to go into the jacuzzi at his house, she said yes, and arrived empty handed, but wanted to drink.
3. She drank all of my wine (I have wine at my friends house since I am there often)
4. My friend put some food in the oven, she ate most of what he made for the 4 of us, we had to eat fast if we wanted any
5. She drove there, but rather then driving home, she decided to take a 2-hour nap on his couch
6. When it got late, the 3 of us got up and turned the TV on, but she stayed on the couch not getting the hint
7. She left and said by, not one thank you was extended

Perhaps I'm being a bit too nit picky, but for me, having bad manners drops you down to the bottom of my list. Needless to say, she won't be hanging out with us again.

I agree.

I'd say 4.

Each case varies and is dependent on the person I'm interested in. It could be that we have similar hobbies, they tickle my funny bone, they dress a certain way, I can't get a read on them, they might be loud and oblivious, a fellow gamer, stoner, anything goes.

*shrugs* I genuinely find people interesting and I make the effort regardless. Their first impression usually doesn't stick and honestly I hold no judgement until I spend adequate time getting to know them. I loathe gossip and dismiss what others tell me of someone.

I mean perhaps my perception has been tainted due to my work but I come across a lot of people everyday, it's easy to spark a conversation and initial interest because it's what I do so I put no stock in it for myself to apply that principle on others. If it's a good conversation, that's it, good bye probably won't ever see them again.

Coworkers I'm more reserved about, I just don't like to invest too much of 'me' given my workplace. So yeah I can't give you a real answer but there's an obvious one, "because they're attractve" but even then that's a bit broad for me.

I think it varies also, but what i do like is being able to hold a conversations with a
total stranger or someone who I just met.

Very good thread 🙂

1.2. and 4. How up to date they are with the arts, I love art! If they can not adapt to my interests then there's a problem, because all conversation from then out is simply uninteresting. Art is the only thing that peaks my interest besides philosophy and theory. For me though it's not me choosing them, they choose me. I'm not very sociable but I am friendly and people will label me a friend, I just go with the flow of meeting new people each day.

Consistency in speech. Patterns. How they behave among other humans.