what is he thinking

hope you guys have some opinions or answers. (i'll try to make this as short as i can)

I am a taurus female, met my aqua last may we became friends, then good friends then lovers, then had a deeper bond and before we knew it we were in a relationship. He treated me as his girlfriend, I was the only one, he expreessed jealousy when I mentioned other guys, we saw each other whenever possible, etc. But and ofcourse with an aqua there has to be a but, he could not fully surrender to the relationship mentally. the thought of being in a relationship again scared him (he told me so) he had not long before me gotten out of one (although he wanted to break free from this girl for a while) he was also in a rut or a mid life crisis. I would always hear "what am I gonna do with my life or I thought I would make it from him. Like many guys and especially an aqua, he could not multi task. Told me he wants to be alone, and even wants to move to another country. Just like that. I was broken. That was in April, since then he would call me once every month or two. we would see each other, be intamite but thats all. I did not want to push, partly because I know you have to ignore an aqua to get any sort of attention and also because I felt like I needed to start my healing process (as ironic that may sound). when confronted about why he calls, he replies "i just wanted to see how you were". so far he has not moved, last time I saw him was about a week ago I left his house hysterically crying. last thing i heard him say was i care a lot about you but there are certain things i have to do in my life right now. i can't deal anymore. i know i need to move on, for my sake. But I'm a taurus and i get stubborn. everytime he calls I feel like there is hope and i could renew everything.

to all that went through a similiar experiance with an aqua (I'm sure there is many) or to all aquas what the hell is he thinking? and why is he still calling? should i completely give up?

Hi just read your post. I am an Aquarias woman and have an Aquarias brother one year apart from me. If I were you I would definitely give up hope and move on with your life. If you were the one then he would not have felt he needed to get away. He calls because he cares. Once care always care but it does not mean enough to settle. Freedom is the most important thing and surrending mentally is something that happens with like minded folks, most of what ends up happening to us is because we need change and variety in our lives, we don't like the same old, same old stuff going on. If you were a mental powerhouse, living in the clouds so to speak, able to converse on just about anything, exciting, fun, and full of surprises, yet able to at the same time be responsible, then I think he would always want you. I have had a lot of relationships and have yet to find one that sticks with me, that they are the one. That's a tough one. Sometimes we go back to those who still want us because we care but our heart is not into it fully to be fair. He would definitely be with you if he was truly into you, you deserve better. I left my last boyfriend even though he begged me not to and still tries to get me back but the more he tries the less interested in him I am of being his friend. If he ever gets over me, then I would love to be his friend but that is all. If he tried for more, I would disappear out of this life. I don't know why people take a chance on us because we do break hearts. Go for the one who is really into you, showers you will love when you aren't even asking for it, and make best friends with the Aquarian folks. If you love another one, love him without possession, and provide plenty of surprises, and be true to him. Don't ever wine, you have a complaint, deal with it in a logical discussion type of manner with your expectations, and what could happen if different choices were made by him. Just be fun for him and interesting, and open up.

I see what you are saying. Its just that were mentally compatible, we got along great. whenever i wanted to discuss something i would do it in an intellectual manner rather then wine and complain (other then the last time, but that was because i emotionally just broke down). I believe the timing was not right for us, from his side anyway. He can't settle no matter what his heart is telling him because he needs to get his life together first. i heard this many times before from my guy friends, also please take into account my age group. mid to late twenties.
my thing is i dont get this calling thing only because he cares. i dont call all my exes, be intimate with them,etc. I just dont call, period. by him doing that keeps me holding on.

Carmen, I was involved with an Aqua man and had a similar situation. We got along splendidly, he cared for me, I cared for him. He also got scared (admitted it to me), and suddenly ended it with me. Your Aqua said he needs to get his life together and may potentially leave the country, mine said he met someone else who didn't want a commitment from him (like me). I think both responses are said out of fear of intimacy. I think what is happening (and no offense to any Aquas - I'm sure there are plenty with their head on straight), is that he likes you and cares for you, but fears how close you two have gotten. He doesn't mean to "string you along," it just sort of happens, because as much as he fears long-term intimacy, he's human and occasionally needs the closeness. I did the same thing with mine....back and forth, it would end, then it start back up again, 2 or 3 times. It was torture. Mine called me too almost every night and we talked anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. I'm not sure why he called, but I do know it apparently didn't mean anything. It made no difference in the end.
Now here's the hard part. Just imagine for a moment, that you got him back. Would you ever really feel secure? Would you constantly be wondering when he was going to end it with you again? Would you be wondering if he was really going to leave the country? You would probably be walking on eggshells, trying to be perfect, so that he had no reason to end it with you. And then he may end it with you again, anyway, leaving you wondering what you could have possibly done wrong.
As hard as it is, I can only suggest to end it with him. Go ahead and tell him how much he means to you, and then walk away. You can get over the break up, but it's harder to get over what a relationship like that does to your self-esteem.
I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear.

Arieslady - actually that is exactly what i needed to hear. even when i was with him i found myself having anxieties of not knowing what will happen next. you are very right. I am not going to deal with BS any more if a guy is not sure don't even bother. walk away if they come back and i mean REALLY come back then let's talk.
I had this happen to me before I would chase this one guy, only because i knew he felt something for me, but he did not want to commit.the usual would go i dont want to commit right now..bla bla bla. Finally when i got over him found someone else (the aqua)stopped obsessing about the fact of not being able to convince him to commit he came, it took a while but now wants me with a commitmnet more then ever. too bad i don't feel the same anymore. i wonder if the same thing is gonna happen here...........why is it that in our love lives we seem to keep falling for a similiar pattern——?

primegen- thanks so much your personal response means a lot. Helps me understand you guys a little more.