Will he commit to me? I really need help

Ok guys, my story is a lil bit long and dramatic. But I really need your help for my situation. So please give me advice or share your experience about Aquarius behaviors. He is running in my head all the time like a mess.

We met in the street. I passed by the corner where he stood with his friends. I knew they were looking at me but I ignored. 3 seconds later, he touched my arm whhile I was walking straight ahead and asked: "Sprechen Deutsch?" (in German it means: Do you speak German?"). I said no, English better because I am just travelling here in Germany. We talked around 15 mins. It was the first time I talked openly with stranger in the street because I am an Asian girl, always a lil bit shy. He asked my phone number and told me he would text me then. It was 3 months ago.

Now we have been dating but very slow. We had the first kiss at the 2nd date, first sex at the 3rd date. But the 2nd date may change my life forever. Because before, my ex-boyfriend texted me he wanted me to come back my home country so that we can start over again. I did book the fly ticket. I met the Aquarius man for the 2nd date right after that. It's not his kiss made me change my decision, it was what he said. He wanted me to stay in Germany and willing to help if I need him. Then I think it was fate that choose us, made me stay here, not come back my country.

He is so sweet, so caring when we are together. I did meet his brother, his friends. He hold my hands while we walking in the street. Even he kisses me many times. So, he is kinda Aquarian can show his affection in public. But he hasn't commited to me yet. He hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend or something like that. He shares his time for work and friends most. He is always on duty for work abroad. He often goes for around 10 days to 1 month. And the point here is he very aloof and detach when he goes. Very few texts, i am always the one who text first. Very few phone calls. We just skyped 1 or 2 times. Why?

When we are together, he cooked for me, bring breakfast to the bed, even let me use his computer while he was not home. I had been in his apartment few times when he went to work. He said that I could do whatever I want. Once I open the laptop and he hadn't logged out facebook yet but I didn't read anything. I do not want to be curious in his private things.

But I never in his plan for travelling. Like last month, he tralleved to Japan and French with his friend, a guy. I am waiting for his invitati

HMmm sounds too much early for everything how long you have known him??the reason why he dont commit is you haven't clarify that on first time kiss and sex was given too early means what makes a man think to be official if he can have it already these things from you foreign man are aggresive this is how they brought up if your asian you must know that im also an asian but due to experiences i know now how they act and i had fallen for that its hard to say but a man who really likes you will mae clear from the first what he wants to happen and sex must mot be given to know that read this it would helps the ninety day rule from think like a man act like a lady

If you're the one who always texts first, it doesn't sound very promising.

The 1st meeting sounded like something out of a movie. So romantic 🙂 As for the rest of the situation, IDK what to say other than...all the best.

It may be too early.

You shouldn't have given him your body thinking that was a fair exchange for commitment. A lot of women would hope it'd turn out that way, but that's not always real life. If you can't afford to give your body, time & energy without getting a commitment in return, then DON'T give a man those things until he's already committed to you. That way no one gets hurt or feels used or confused.

He may like you a lot but that doesn't mean he feels this strong urge to commit to you YET. His list of "What I need to see/experience/get to know from her before I commit" may be completely different than yours or another man's mental list.

Just b/c a person has a slow pace doesn't mean they're not interested. Just b/c a person goes about things fast paced doesn't mean they're truly interested.

Just follow whatever your gut is telling you. We can "guess" all day long, but your gut and instincts will probably have the most accurate answer. If you feel deep down that you're being led on, then stop giving him so many benefits (time, sex, intimacy, etc and anything that you can't afford to not get back in return).

If your gut is telling you that he has good intentions & that you guys are moving forward, even if just slowly, then just be patient & let things flow naturally.

You just described a typical German man. They can be detached and slow with commitment - they are rational and practical above all. Your problem can easily be a cultural thing. Just curious, what part of Germany is he from?

Thank you guys so much for your comments.

Actually, I know we are now in casual dating stage. It's 3 months now since we dated. His friends and his brother do know about us. He even kissed me in front of his brother.

He is from Bayern state 🙂. He is half French (maybe that's why he catched me on the street). I think I made confusion. Not me all the times text him first. I remember once I was the one ignored him while I was travelling in Turkey, he texted me first and asked me many things. Beside, he is helping me to collect legal documents to stay here.

At the first date, I am the one who told him that I did not want a relationship right now because I just said goodbye to my ex. He said ok, then we can be friend. But after that, we do know each other we are dating. Anytime he is free in the city, he called me. We even had some dates no sex at all then I do not think this man playing on me. We had dates like just hanging around, talking. And To me, having sex with him is ok, it's not something made me down because deep inside, I started love him. I just want to know whether he just need times or not.

Once he told me about some women he dated before (yes, he TOLD me bad sides of him). He said there was a woman want a relationship when they even havent known each other as much as we were. Then he ran away and that woman hated him.

Is it common with Aquarius that they are too aloof and detach why they are on work?

😢

Posted by hexe


Is it common with Aquarius that they are too aloof and detach why they are on work?😢

Aside from astrology, Aquarius men are men 1st. They're human 1st before they're anything else.

When a person wants to make time for you, they will. When they kinda do, they'll kinda make time. When they don't want to make time, they won't. And this "code" persay applies to men of any zodiac sign.

Is it common for men or people in general to get super attached to a job that is physically & mentally demanding, to the point that their partners may notice a lack in the level of attention/closeness they were once getting? YES. But is it also common for a man to acknowledge this, adapt & change things a bit if the woman he truly cares for voices her concern? YES!

If you feel that you don't have his undivided attention, then bring that to his attention. You don't have to be full blown in love with someone to take their feelings into consideration or to do what makes BOTH people comfortable, assured & confident. If he cares about you at all, he will hear you out, put himself in your shoes, acknowledge that there are some justifiable reasons for your lack of confidence in things, & actually fix it!

If he won't fix it, then he's either extremely self-centered, isn't relationship-material, or isn't that into you. All 3 are bad & worth reconsidering your decision to continue pursuing him, if any of this turns out to be the case

Aquarian men may be detached sometimes, but they're not stupid. They're like everybody else. When they really want something, they find time. They put in the extra effort. They make room for you in their busy schedule. When you start making excuses for things that are inexcusable, you start the process of denial and wasting your own time. No excuses

End of story.

Posted by hexe
Thank you guys so much for your comments.

Actually, I know we are now in casual dating stage. It's 3 months now since we dated. His friends and his brother do know about us. He even kissed me in front of his brother.

He is from Bayern state 🙂. He is half French (maybe that's why he catched me on the street). I think I made confusion. Not me all the times text him first. I remember once I was the one ignored him while I was travelling in Turkey, he texted me first and asked me many things. Beside, he is helping me to collect legal documents to stay here.

At the first date, I am the one who told him that I did not want a relationship right now because I just said goodbye to my ex. He said ok, then we can be friend. But after that, we do know each other we are dating. Anytime he is free in the city, he called me. We even had some dates no sex at all then I do not think this man playing on me. We had dates like just hanging around, talking. And To me, having sex with him is ok, it's not something made me down because deep inside, I started love him. I just want to know whether he just need times or not.

Once he told me about some women he dated before (yes, he TOLD me bad sides of him). He said there was a woman want a relationship when they even havent known each other as much as we were. Then he ran away and that woman hated him.

Is it common with Aquarius that they are too aloof and detach why they are on work?

😢

Bavaria 🙂 I am quite familiar with that part 😛

Its not aqua hon, it is very german to be focused on the career, they are very disciplined when it comes to their job and they don't distractions. I was in your shoes once and he was not an aqua. If you pay attention, you will also notice that they usually date for many many years before getting married; over there it is quite normal to date for 10 years before getting engaged. Dating is a very slow process. The fact that his fam and friends know about you is a very good start!

*they don't like distractions

Posted by Lib911

Posted by hexe
Thank you guys so much for your comments.

Actually, I know we are now in casual dating stage. It's 3 months now since we dated. His friends and his brother do know about us. He even kissed me in front of his brother.

He is from Bayern state 🙂. He is half French (maybe that's why he catched me on the street). I think I made confusion. Not me all the times text him first. I remember once I was the one ignored him while I was travelling in Turkey, he texted me first and asked me many things. Beside, he is helping me to collect legal documents to stay here.

At the first date, I am the one who told him that I did not want a relationship right now because I just said goodbye to my ex. He said ok, then we can be friend. But after that, we do know each other we are dating. Anytime he is free in the city, he called me. We even had some dates no sex at all then I do not think this man playing on me. We had dates like just hanging around, talking. And To me, having sex with him is ok, it's not something made me down because deep inside, I started love him. I just want to know whether he just need times or not.

Once he told me about some women he dated before (yes, he TOLD me bad sides of him). He said there was a woman want a relationship when they even havent known each other as much as we were. Then he ran away and that woman hated him.

Is it common with Aquarius that they are too aloof and detach why they are on work?

😢

Bavaria 🙂 I am quite familiar with that part 😛

Its not aqua hon, it is very german to be focused on the career, they are very disciplined when it comes to their job and they don't distractions. I was in your shoes once and he was not an aqua. If you pay attention, you will also notice that they usually date for many many years before getting married; over there it is quite normal to date for 10 years before getting engaged. Dating is a very slow process. The fact that his fam and friends know about you is a very good start!

click to expand

Thank you guys for giving me valueable answers.

Lib911, you said you were quite familiar with Bavaria? So you are living in Germany? 🙂 Yes. They are so slow in process. A German friend of mine and his ex gf dated 7 years but not married even he was 34 when they split away. Here in

Sorry for my last comment. I mean here in Germany I do not often meet married couple.

So do you think that I should wait for more times to make him commit? We r just 3 months together 🙂

Posted by hexe
Is it common with Aquarius that they are too aloof and detach why they are on work?

😢

Very common. But, that's why it's sooooo delicious when they stop being so aloof and open up. They can be very sweet and loving once they commit, but you can't rush it.

Thank you. He is always on work abroad. That s sometimes annoys me. His lack of texts make me confused. So I have to wait for his commitment?

I didn't mean it that way. During the dating stage, he should make contact with you. But, then sometimes they get busy and don't realize how long it's been since they've reached out.

It's just up to you whether you're willing to be with someone who contacts sparodically.

Posted by truecap
I didn't mean it that way. During the dating stage, he should make contact with you. But, then sometimes they get busy and don't realize how long it's been since they've reached out.

It's just up to you whether you're willing to be with someone who contacts sparodically.

Yes, you're right. He is kinda never notice the date, the time when he are busy or go somewhere. Once he even asked me "What the date today? I even didn't notice that it nearly April" 😄. But sometimes, I feel sick of his disappearance.

There are fine lines between forgetful, disrespectful and lack of interest.