Fighting Ram

I just got off the phone with my Aries. The convo lasted about 2 hours and we probably had 3-4 mini arguments during the course of it. For the most part, we're peachy. We get along well. We're in-tune with one another.

At others, it's as if I'm suffering from PMS and he is in full IMS (irritable male syndrome-it exists) mode. What generally occurs is, one of us might be discussing a problem we're currently facing. The other person will listen but at some point interject with a solution. I usually hear him out. He will but in mid-sentence at some point. Thing is, neither one of us asked for a solution. We're both know it alls and we sometimes get entrenched in the "if I wanted your opinion I would've asked for it" stance.

Now these aren't huge arguments. They're over the most minor of things. To give you an example, our last mini-spat was about my eating habits. I told him that it's 3pm and I have yet to have a morsel of food or an ounce of liquid and although I know I should eat, I'm not hungry...I'll get around to it. It's not that serious. So the argument that ensued was about how my skipping meals effects my metabolism.

I can't really figure out how these idiotic arguments are affecting our relationship. The spats happen, we get over it quick and we're cool. I just wish we didn't have to have them at all. But based on the way we relate thus far, I think they're unavoidable 😢

Question: Do aries argue less in relationships as time goes on or is it in their nature to have a spat here/there?

Question: Ariens say they're misunderstood. In relationships where you have conflicts with your significant other, what did you as an Aries feel your spouse was lacking that could've improved things? In other words, how could I be contributing to our mini-dramas? Am I feeding into his fire? Is that a good thing?

Thanks

As an Aries man myself, I can say that the "nothing" arguments are definitely not out of the ordinary. Just being honest with you...Aries men love to argue. I don't have to argue a lot, but I need to on a somewhat regular basis. If somebody doesn't give me the opportunity to have an argument, I'll find a way to cause an argument just to get "my fix" so to speak. When I say this, I am mostly talking about in the course of my relationship. I don't like big huge fights or anything, but sometimes I feel like I need to cause one because things have been too peaceful for too long. I know that sounds messed up, but I think a lot of other Aries men are the exact same way. We need to have our fights...I think it's an ego thing. And it doesn't matter how stupid the spats really are, it's just one of those things when dealing with an Aries. If you want a fight with an Aries man to be over, you just need to tell him that his stance on whatever ya'll are arguing about is the correct stance. It's an ego game is all it is. Mr. Aries has to be Mr. Correct all the time, so keep that in mind. But don't cut the argument short by telling him his stance is the correct stance. As I said, we need to have our arguments. So let the argument come to fruition before you end it by telling him he is correct. Look at him misty-eyed, tell him he's correct, and tell him you love him. The argument is over then, and he'll go back to being the sweet and caring man that you know he can be.

thanks. that's what i sorta feared. i never had these issues with my AF friends but the guys, they've always been playfully mean. i got a thick skin and i takes me off guard sometimes 😛

i guess i'm just going to have to not get too emotionally wrapped up in whatever it is we're arguing about cause if i do, i'll be the one who ends up pissed of while he's ready to play nicely again.

why oh why can't this ever be easy!?!?!?!

Posted by Astrological Aftermath1
he buts in mid-sentence? that's an aries thing trust me, this aries dude sounds really really impatient and one who has to have his daily arguements like my dad. like a grenade, so do u really think he wants to hear blab on about boring useless shit all the time for 3 hours? cuz lets face it, words can only get u so far in this world.

yeah. he butts in. he claims it's because he might forget what he's going to say 😛 he was raised by his dad...who's also an aries so at times i think he got a double dose of jackass.

overall, he reminds me of another one of my AM friends so overall, nothing over the top when i weigh the two but i can definitely see why the books say tau-aries won't work. and yes, impatience has a lot to do with it.

Posted by $ unny $ ide Pride
Look at him misty-eyed, tell him he's correct, and tell him you love him. The argument is over then, and he'll go back to being the sweet and caring man that you know he can be.

woooooow. part of me thinks you must be joking, but then why do i feel like you're totally not?

so far, i've never once done this w/my aries. if i'm right then i'm right and that's all there is to it. i'm not gonna back down. and chances are if he has go to the trouble to pick a fight, he's gonna fuckin lose. obviously there was no solid ground for him to stand on in the first place.

i hope he's more mature & evolved, and above that stupid bullshit cause there's no way i'd ever put up with it.

Posted by tubbyscubby
he was raised by his dad...who's also an aries so at times i think he got a double dose of jackass.

click to expand

so was mine. =/ and a gem mom.....

@trifles - did i give the impression that i was going to back down to soothe his ego? HA! it's not in my DNA to take a backseat. although, with my leo-ex, it was a lot easier to do so and that's only because even when he was wrong, he was somewhat right so it made it difficult to argue with him.

but when my aries is wrong, he's wrong and no amount of love is gonna make me side with him. in those instances, when we're arguing in circles, i try to change the subject which pisses him off even more. he doesn't blow his top per se but boy does he pout. it's cute 🙂

so $ unny $ ide is right. one of the worst things you can do is be dismissive b/c if they don't rant, they're off to pout somewhere. there has to be a better way to resolve a situation because i don't think aries understands the "agree to disagree" concept.

for the most part my aries does recognize areas where he wants to improve and happily, those are the areas i would hope that he would improve in over time.

Question: Do aries argue less in relationships as time goes on or is it in their nature to have a spat here/there?

No. Sometimes we will start a spat just to see what your position and stance is. But it starts off as a conversation, or we will ask you what you think about something.

Question: Ariens say they're misunderstood. In relationships where you have conflicts with your significant other, what did you as an Aries feel your spouse was lacking that could've improved things? In other words, how could I be contributing to our mini-dramas? Am I feeding into his fire? Is that a good thing?

Thanks

click to expand

We are misunderstood...... I can't really say what or if it's due to a SO improving or lacking something. Aries will love you regardless of your faults. We are very open minded and open hearted. If it's something that really bothers us, we will talk to you about it. At least that's what I do.

With my Virgo, communication has been the issue. It literally took me writing a letter spilling my guts saying that I don't want things to be like things that he invited me in. I can say that the silent treatment is the best remedy for an Aries. IF an Aries thinks you're worth it, they will come out and try to fix it. IF they don't agree with how you treated them or how you may have been dishonest in some shape or form, then chances are they will leave you in the silence.

In any case, always been fair and don't show any unjustification. And aries will not forgive so easily if you don't give them a fair chance......

Arguing is healthy. There is a difference between fighting and arguing.

all of the above is very interesting. a virgo friend of mine who's also dating an aries said that she doesn't like conflict and she grew up with her parents fighting all the time and didn't want that in a relationship. this comment was about a disagreement she and i recently had. and i told her pretty much what M.I.A. said, there's a difference between a debate and an argument. there's a difference between yelling and loud-talking. and her not being able to recognize the difference is not my problem. i think that's all the fire in my chart speaking 😉

i guess i feel a lil odd complaining about him fighting because i do recognize that there's a difference between a real argument and what aries perceives as a debate. i love a healthy debate myself...read my posts, can you not tell? *lol* so the issue is more his debate style and the topics on which he chooses to debate. i'd much rather have a discussion about politics than the best way to exercise.

@LovelyMA - i think your leo might be just as baffled as i am with my aries. are you arguing about stuff that matters? i know, it matters to you and that's enough 🙂

are they sensitive? YES! they're vulnerable with people they care about so if i were you, i wouldn't fault him for being this way. it's a sign that he trusts you. they can't be lions 24-7. they turn into kitties when it's time to recharge their batteries. better that he do this around you than on his own.

as far as leo's argument style , leos don't argue. once they offer their opinion, in their mind, discussion is over. for you, it may not be, but for them, it's like when a king makes a final decree. when my leo-ex would go silent, the argument wasn't exactly over. he would bring it back up...during sex. and at that point, i wasn't putting up much of a fight.

also.... we always need the last word.......

lmao 🙂 ok, now reply so you can have the last word again

tc - i wasn't sure whether you were into the idea or not. i sure as hell wasn't so that's why i voiced my opinion. haha. when i said the thing about his dad also being an aries (like your aries), with the slanty face, i was kinda showing my dismay that he also got a double dose of jackass 😛

Posted by tubbyscubby
so $ unny $ ide is right. one of the worst things you can do is be dismissive b/c if they don't rant, they're off to pout somewhere. there has to be a better way to resolve a situation because i don't think aries understands the "agree to disagree" concept.

i don't fault him at all for his honesty. however i still think it's immature to pick fights just because things are too tranquil. i'm happy when things are peaceful and i tend to believe that's healthy, whereas purposely causing conflict is......not so much. i'm sure that works for some people and it all comes down to the individuals involved but i'll pass.

but yes, i do find that if you express a genuine care for them and interest in why they're upset they come out of it pretty quick.

@trifles - agreed. it scares the poop out of me that i really like this guy but if he enjoys arguing because he NEEDS drama, that's not going to work for me. yes, i live for D!R!A!M!A! but it's gotta be worth it ya know? i don't want to spend my morning debating over whether or not captain crunch is better than fruity pebbles. and at times, that's what a relationship with this aries feels like.

Posted by tubbyscubby
yes, i live for D!R!A!M!A! but it's gotta be worth it ya know? i don't want to spend my morning debating over whether or not captain crunch is better than fruity pebbles.

haha - w0rd. i completely get you.


shit....now i'm kind of scared too.

@AA - did you just smoke a doobie? i didn't understand a word of that last post.

lol. you're cute aa =)

& i did understand it.

i know you were trying to annoy me, which is what i find so darn adorable. just makes me wanna pinch your little petulant cheeks.

& i'm not fighting back because what leos do is kind of irrelevant to the topic at hand and i'm not interested in a "yeah well YOUR sign" argument. nice try tho, i'm sure it would have been entertaining if i bothered with it.

😛

still confused and therefore...

"dude!" --- my default *high* response

what is your sign tubby? Your a leo or no?
Your having way too many issues with your aries that your not telling yet
you are telling us at the same time! Girl,you are making a small thing into
a giant problem.Most people who love an aries already know what they
are in for in this department & it's just one of the perks,lol....
Your not a match for an aries in my honest opinion but gotta' love ya' for
trying! I think there is alot more to your story,so please tell us if you like
ok?

@gemini, i'm a tau. i have no clue what you're talking about. and i don't think it's odd to ask what this sign looks/behaves like in its mature state but okie dokie.

Posted by love_365
Tuddy I was with a Taurus for 14 years. The thing an Aries will love about a Taurus is their ability to make an Aries feel safe and grounded. He would slow me down when I was moving to fast. The downfall between us welllll he is so stubborn, and he treated me as if I was his possession (a piece of property).

don't blame the taurus for your not knowing your place 🙂 j/k

yeah, i could see how i could be possessive but i'm a lil atypical in that department. one of the reasons i'm in no rush to have kids is because they don't go away and will suck every ounce of freedom out of me. so my aries can run about as much as needed. as long as he's being respectful and knows how to be at my beck and call, we're all good 😉

Question: Do aries argue less in relationships as time goes on or is it in their nature to have a spat here/there?

I never argue just for the sake of arguing. I can be very sensitive about little things that probably wouldn't hurt most peoples feelings and ill get pouty. More than anything im annoyed with myself for being so sensitive but there isn't anything the other person needs to do to make it better. I??d prefer to be left alone and I??ll always come back. I can't communicate when I'm in that kind of mood though, and it's worse when the other person forces me. I know the uncommunicative thing is really bad but getting on my ass about it will only slow the process and make me stubborn

Question: Ariens say they're misunderstood. In relationships where you have conflicts with your significant other, what did you as an Aries feel your spouse was lacking that could've improved things? In other words, how could I be contributing to our mini-dramas? Am I feeding into his fire? Is that a good thing?

When I have an actual conflict with somebody (that isn't me just being sensitive) I??ll confront it. But I will not under any circumstances talk to somebody who attacks me or raises their voice. When im in a relationship with somebody I don't want them to —feed into my fire?? or let me get them fired up, but I also won't tolerate somebody who??s condescending or someone trying to make be feel irrational or make light of a situation I think is a big deal. Ive noticed that the only signs ive had a notoriously hard time making amends with are fixed signs. Maybe it's the stubborn thing??_because I can be stubborn and they??re stubborn, someone has to give but it rarely happens

yea, i like that he doesn't brood for long periods and my only complaint is when he takes time to think. that seems to take forever!