Help with the icy aries man

Ok, so being the capricorn woman I am, I need concrete clarity. I have no idea what to do with the aries man who has disappeared. i thought maybe one of you aries men can help shed some light——?? PLEASE———? 🙂

This is my story in a nut shell. I will try and keep it as short as possible. So, a year ago in June I was in the midst of a bad relationship with a married guy (damned scorpio, lol). In the process of ending that relationship, I randomly found a distraction online with an aries man. We lived 7800 miles away, he was seeing someone, as was I. Neither of our relationships were steady and stable, so we kind of struck a common chord and we became friends. I honestly do not know how we even made it past that first conversation. The first thing out of his mouth was "I am the biggest prick you will ever meet" He was rude and mean that first day, yet oddly kept me thinking hmmmmm. We continued talking after this and I did not heed his warning of the prick aspect. While getting to know him better, I read up A LOT on aries. He can be considered as a typical aries. Blunt, childish at times, stubborn (omg...so very stubborn), etc. Well, after a few months, both the outside relationships fell apart. For some starnge reason, I fell for aries. Big time. He was very aloof about it and did not respond much to it. He always wanted to hear me say how I felt, then would pass it off and not respond with how he felt (he basically told me he had no feelings). Two things were very hard with this whole thing. 1 was he lives in australia, I am in alaska. The second issue was he has a lot of trauma in his life that has left him very bitter. That drew me to him but also confused the hell out of me. At Christmas time that year I had scheduled myself to go see him. I chickened out because I was not sure of his intentions (I am a cappy, I need to be sure). Well...this about killed him as I had planned it, made the ticket, then backed out. In typical aries fashion, he exploded, then went to ice. We had to start over and it took FOREVER for us to get back to good. Fast forward to June, and I made plans to come again. After rebuilding the trust and everything, I was set to go this time. Ok, so someone in the universe did not like this, and I had to back out again. My dad got sick and I had to rush home to be with him. Of course Aries man took that as another blow.

sorry..they cut me off. 🙂 He did not get quiet after the June incident. He exploded and I just told myself I was done and began moving on. I completely ignored him and his fury. About two weeks later he came back and was calm and able to talk without yelling at me. I told him that since I am incapable of coming there, he should come here. And that was what we did. His ticket was in September, and from July till Sept, things were really good. He did get all fairy tale on me though, and started talking marriage, etc. I know that fairy tales and leaping before thinking are aries traits, so I went with it. My Cappy mind was still grounded tho, and I told him that we would get through these 9 days together and see where that leads us. So he comes and the time together was a roller coaster. There was no spark at first (and in turn no fairy tale), which then lead to a huge fight half way through due to him being too scared to tell me he had no spark. That huge fight helped tho. I learned about his trauma and we were both able to express our feelings. We came to the conclusion that there was no spark and that we would finish out our vacation together as friends and make the most of it. Well, that was not how it ended. The last night of the trip alcohol was involved. Although at that point nothing physical happened (I had to reapect the "no sparks" thing - even though I really didnt want to) but the feelings where there. I felt a shift in the feelings of yes, there is a spark, and could tell he felt it too. The next morning I had to drop him off at the airport so he could get back to Oz. We were fine at that time and both chalked it up to experience. I knew it didnt work as planned, and that was ok. Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks about an hour after he left. I most definetly was in love with him. On his trip back we talked during his layovers. He cried, I cried. We stated how much we missed each other...blah blah blah. The first few days he was gone were hard. I know aries like upfront communication (to an extent, I know) so I sent him an email about my feelings. It was not all sappy and lovey. It was matter of fact and did not dwell on the whole "love" thing. I also stated that if he did not feel the same, that was a-ok (and it truly is). After a few days, we talked and the whole feel changed. He was mean and rude again and the conversation was superficial and boring for no reason (Im thinking he read th eemail and freaked

Wow, he has some serious issues. So you think he just told you there was no spark as he always seems to be the pessimistic type even though it's not true? For him to come to see you, he obviously cared so what do you think? You should know better, what does your gut tell you?

I'm not a fan of long distance relationships. If it's going to work both people have to be willing. He seems to have too many walls up. Says one thing, does another, it's going to get too crazy for you Konazita, right? If he cried like that, I think he cares but he needs to work through whatever is holding him back. You deserve a man who can love you wholeheartedly. Looks like he put up another wall, hence the superficial crap so call him on it and sit back. Make no moves and wait for him to miss you and come to you.

well, for him to bring up marriage and cry that's a big deal for an aries. We are no fans of commitment, as we love our freedom, he'd have to be head over heels in love with you to suggest such an outrageous thing.

To cry that's another thing, we don't cry for peanuts, it takes a huge emotional scar for those tears to roll, yes we shout we get angry, but we only cry when we are truely hurt, and we usually cry were we can't be seen, so to cry and to let you hear him cry that's a big thing.

Now Capis and Aries have communication problems. I am dealing with a Capi right now. You guys don't express your feelings easily, you have walls around you, yes you try to tell him how you feel in emails and everything, but that's not enough, for us attention is important, we crave your attention, you have to always show it, we constantly need to know that we are number one on your list, you have to be spantanous, go with the flow, we don't like to think things over too much, while capis always like to plan and know everything in advance, which is predictable, and therefore boring on our side.

We hate it when you make us wait, if you say you coming then you must be there, being late and canceling things drives us nuts, because we have a million other things that we'd rather do than be waiting for you to show up, regardless of how much we love you, our time is not for waste.

I don't think it is the email that freaked him out, it could be just the conversation itself, again it is a communication thing, next time you talk to him, listen to your heart and not your head, if you feel something say it, dont think of what he might think, we dont judge people, we dont study them under the microscope like you guys do, just say what's in your heart and stop listening to your mind for once, and see how things change. Don't play games with us, we like everything straight to the point, say it as it is.

i dont know if i believe that you're both totally in love with one another. i think you guys are both going through difficult times in your lives and both of you are looking for support and really want somebody to talk to. i think you guys would probably make better friends, seeing as you live so far and the physical chemistry is not there. the whole emotional outpour when he left is probably just the process of going through the motions when somebody leaves. i hate goodbyes in every sense of the word and they bring up a whole mess of emotions that seem right at the time, then after im like WTF. i would get choked up taking my roommate to the airport during christmas break in college. lol airports have that effect on me

Wow....lots of different things to think about here. I also see each point here, so thank you all. I do `understand that the whole online thing adds a huge snag. It was not a planned thing and I do believe he and I both got caught up in a lot of it. The cappy side keeps me semi grounded and that is why I was insistant on getting through this time to see if there was anything to start with. That is what is so confusing at this time. I know he feels something. I am totally in the postion to step back and take this as it comes. If this were to work, there are lots of things to deal with. The two major ones are the walls that are up (both sides) and is it what I want if I break through (trust me - I know this)? The other issue is the distance - there will be much more time needed in person to be spent together before anything is really seen. The question that keeps nagging at me.....researching on aries, I know its an upfront and honest attitude towards emotions. Say what ya feel in the moment type a thing. For me, that is very very hard - but I make it a point to do this (hence the email) without going overboard and sounding like a 10 year old girl palnning her wedding and drawing hearts with his name in it. I also have read that aries like the thrill of the chase. They want to know that you think they are your number one priority, but they dont want to see needy stalker behavior (which I could never do). So....do I wait it out and see if he deals with whatever he deals with and go from there? Or do I keep calling on him - and most likely get no response? GAH! Seriouisly aries people? You want upfront communication yet you can walk away without saying a word————?? lol..... Basically my gut tells me he is worth it...and Im willing to give all the time in the world if its going to mean something. I wont, however, wait forever.

I would suggest you wait it out. For me, when I am usually mad with someone ... I disappear ... it is not a way of cutting you out, it is just that we need time to cool off, because if we stick around straight after what happened, we are very likely to mess up things even more, we might say things that we don't mean in the heat of the moment that we might regret later on, so instead of that we disappear for a while, think things over and once we've cooled off, then we are back, but whatever was the reason for us to leave, we wouldn't want you to bring it up again, unless we bring it up again ourselves.

I don't know what got him mad. He could be frustrated with this distance issue, it's hard to decide if you really want to be with someone by mainly talking to them online, specially if both of you are not oppening up to one another.

I would just say give him sometime, let him come back to you, if he really loves you he will come back.

You know Konazita, it is very odd, because the Capi guy I am dealing with right now is doing the exact same thing this aries guy is doing to you, just acting all distant and cold. And my gut is telling me the exact thing, that he is worth it and that i should be patinet with him *sighs* ... why does love have to be so complicated?

And about the spark bit, it is all attention related, yes you could be the most beautiful lady on earth, but again we need to know that your heart belongs to us for that spark to be there. That's what I feel with this Capi anyway, he is handsome and all but that doesnt mean anything, when I feel that he cares, there is electricity in the air, but when he is cold and not talking much, I really don't feel like wanting anything to do with him.

I dont feel he is mad. Nothing happened on either end to make any one of us angry, so the only take I can take is what pretty much all of you have said - he's thinking it through. After all this time and all the crap we put up (and all the really good times) with with each other, I find it hard to believe either one of us is gone forever without saying at least somethin. Of course, I very well could be wrong, but my gut also tells me that the time is all we both need to see what the hell we can and do need to do. Both of us are willing to pick up and move to whoevers land - but this is a really scary thing on either side...and I think taking time to mull it over is important....but wish he would just tell me he needs time. But....hmmmm.......all of this has made things a little clearer though...and I thank you all for the input thus far.

As for the cappy being quiet.......never fear...we bounce back. This is our way of mulling things over. It can be really hard for us to open up to people and we often times give off an air of mystery. Sometimes it looks as if we have deep dark secrets to hide, but that is rarely the case. Most times its a freeze reaction to any given situation. I do have to say that what I have found with the aries is that they have made it really comofrtable for a cappy to open up. I do not do that easily and will normally dig my heels in when confronted on having to do so. With this guy, its kinda just spewed out of me and I feel like I am emotionally throwing up all over.......lol.

Thanks all for your input. 🙂 A lot of this is coming together for me. Still a tad confused on one issue tho. When he left, there was no animosity or anything to be angry or hurt about. I know we were both overwhelemd by all of it and I think we bothe wigged out, but not in an angry or hurtful way. One strand I keep hearing form everyone is that often times when hurt or angry, aries will pull away for a bit. If there was no hurt or angry...whats up? lol

If you know his birthday, get a compatibility report. It will sort out the issues you have, perhaps in communication? If he just has a sun sign of Aries, it isn't enough just to look up Aries. His moon & venus gives clues on his emotions and how he loves & wants to be loved. Look deeper.

Trust me....its been done. natal charts and all that.....along with compatability charts.,,,,we are extremely compatable.....all the way down to younger aries male doing very well with older cappy female (which from what I have heard is one of the few ways the aries/cappy relationships can work). The biggest thing with his natal chart is that he has a huge thing about feeling confined and "trapped". That contradicts what he strives for though because as s person (and taking out he aries aspect) he wants so badly to be with a "soul mate". I spose that is a huge piece for him with those two aspects clashing, and probably one of the things stopping this from going anywhere.

A Capricorn female and an Aries Male - save yourself the heartbreak and get out now.....

I know....I know.....I shouldve heeded the warning of the Aries/Cappy pairing the second we met. 🙂

Bluemoon2 - That is very true and i always liked that quote 🙂

"The Only One Worth Your Tears Is The One Who Wont Make You Cry" love that one as well....

I do belive that theres something in these astrological matches, but i wouldnt choose someone just
because of their Sign
Its just that ive had three relationships with Arians, at the start its awesome, but slowly, over time, the differences in personality start to come out and it becomes a battlefield, it did with all three of them....

Aries and Capricorn are actually very similar in that theyre both Strong, Aggresive signs and neither will back down..

Yes. Battlefield is how you would describe it. And I agree that one can not base a make or break relationship based on a sign alone. It does help me understand others viewpoints, but people are more than just a sign.