Hey, Y'all!

I'm new to these boards. Aries guy. GLAD to see honest Aries comments here. Posted TWICE on the Libra Board and nothin'. No response. So 'thought I'd get your opinions. 'Been with a beautiful Libra woman for the last six months----friends, best friends, talk about everything; see each other often. I've taken her out to lunch, dinner several times. We've cooked for each other. We see each other about three times a week. Do work and fun things together. She seems to open up and tell me everything that's going on in her life. Well, the thing that's bothering me is that she has mentioned TWICE that she doesn't want to "date." And, boy, does that confuse me! Aren't we dating when we go out all the time and do things together all the time? So I asked what she meant. And she couldn't tell me. Then she said she didn't want me to get SERIOUS about her---which I assume means "intimate." I have hugged her many times, held hands, kissed her on the cheek. And I'm not rebuffed. She's hugged me a few times and held hands of her own volition. But the two times I've attempted to kiss her on the lips, she's turned her head away. So now I'm upset with her about this whole not "dating" thing. Is she just leading me on? Is she not "into" me? Does she want a friend for life but nothing more? I know Libras can change their minds but it takes forever for them to make any decision. Is this just a game?---testing for me to hang in there and then become serious?

I don't even want to talk to her about it because it makes me upset. I really like this girl and it IS a good relationship. But I'm also an Aries (!)---Hey, I like women! And being with a woman! So, guys/gals, sock it to me---let me know what you think, okay?

Wouldnot like to discourage U ...But personally I would not have entered this chase.
If therez no mutual "spark", itz not worth in the long run even if U somehow manage to eke it out. We Aries tend to wear rose-tinted glasses when in love and ignore the realities. Later on we start demanding for more and more until we get a solid rebuff and then the whole thing turns into a disappointing and damaging heart-break.

From what u have described, the libra girl likes U of course but perhapz shez not able to spot that "chemistry".

Hey, Gaurav Aries, thanks for the feedback. Been there before with a few PYT's. So you're probably right on. Yeah, 'doesn't make me feel better. But I'm pulling off the shades and may back off from this chase before I get derailed. Concentrate more on looking for mutual spark and chemistry. 'Like the way you communicated it.

But U shud seek feedback from Libra females as well...Perhapz they have a different view of thingz.

Atom, I'm not an Aries, nor a Libra . .but, definitely female.

Seriously . . I've done this before myself . . playing hard to get. She wants you to chase her hard . . or, at least, the girls I know who do this . . this is the game.

Your gal could be different, but, that's how it sounds because like you said, you two are dating, in reality,lol. I've no clue why girls do this, and, I'm not proud of the times I've done it.

I could be wrong . . if I were you, I'd try backing off a little and acting casual and see if she moves in closer . . if so, then you know she's into you.

Good Luck

Hi Atom and welcome Mr. Aries 🙂

GA and PA both gave wonderful insight...now my turn. I too am an Aries - female and lovin' it! Anywho....I have gone out with many men cuz I just enjoy hanging with them. Yes, they buy me dinner, take me to movies yada, yada (no sex though) I also let them know that I am not interested in "dating" but rather just being friends. This is code for.....I am not that interested in you for a long term relationship but do enjoy your company.

If I were interested in developing a long term relationship with a man there is NO way that I would even bring up that I am not interested in dating or just want to be "friends".

Hope this helps my dear fellow Aries....

"with a man there is NO way that I would even bring up that I am not interested in dating or just want to be "friends"."

FB ...That would be a STOP sign I feel.

not really clear on your response....let me try again - if I were interested in a man, I would not mention to him that I am only wanting to be friends nor would I mention the phrase, "I am not interested in dating". Does that make more sense to you?

I don't play games...up front with my intentions.

I would let the relationship flow and see where it goes...

For ex. there was this one fella and he and I would do things together...I made sure to let him know that I was only looking for a friendship (this meant I was not that into him) however, I did and still do enjoy his company as a friend ONLY.

Hope this helps....

Message posted by: Atom on 1/6/2007 2:37:36 PM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.203
'I'm new to these boards. Aries guy. GLAD to see honest Aries comments here. Posted TWICE on the Libra Board and nothin'. No response."

Libras are airheads, they don't know what's going on. 😛

Thanks all! Your comments are adding up in my head. Seems to make sense to pull back and see where the relationship goes---and it may be code she's not into me or it may be that she wants me to chase her hard. Pulling back---just to see where things go---makes sense to me, and just flowing with the relationship makes sense too. I FEEL like I'm being checked out. So that's probably right. Ha! As you know, we Aries are bottom-line folks---want the answer now. I finally did get a few responses from Libra women on the Libra board. Quite interesting. Libra's seem both deep and superficial at times. They sure take their time no matter what they do!

oh yeah. i had a libra lover. first let me tell you, they DO take forever. they circle things, then go off after something else for awhile. they LOVE to talk. deep conversations, meeting of the minds. um, hint, they LOOOOOVE to talk about sex. before and after. talking about it revved my guy up. very conversational. libra's are polar opposites of aries, but can make for an interesting match for us. they are fickle, superficial, love beauty, harmony, fine food, music, dining, dancing, wine and elegant things. they don't like crudeness in general. my best female friend is a libra. they tend to hide deeper feelings. she made a comment that i'll relate to you, and keep in mind, this is about her husband. she said one morning she was really in the mood for some lovin' but didn't get it. i asked why she didn't just pounce on her man and say "gimme!" (my personal approach, and as often as i can get it. i'ma aries!!) she said, and this totally mystefied me: "no way. if i wanted some sex, he's the last one who's gonna know about it." um, huh? so, that's my two cents worth for ya.

Redhedgurl, Sweet! I love hearing from the Aries perspective---wow, we can so relate! I'm hanging on to that idea of how Libras like to "circle" things. Never saw it that way before, but it adds up with this girl! And you described her to a "T." Yeah, we Aries find nothing run with the "gimme" approach at all. What a kick to think Libra girl won't just tell you she wants you. You made my day with your post!

solitas777, insightful! Yow, I hate games! I'm losing patience with her. And you're right, when we're on to someone else, we pretty much don't think about the previous girl. Have had this happen more than once in my life---when I go on to another PYT a previous interest shows up and NOW wants a relationship. I like the way you think, great attitude. I set my sights on someone new.

Roxijam may be right too---this girl may be too frigid---even after I thaw her out some! (Too much work!). You guys are GREAT! Thanks.

She isn't attracted to you. This is not dating. You know it.

She isn't playing games because she has told you this upfront in bright pink neon lights.

** all the libran ladies i know are frigid.

ummm no. Libra is one of the most sexual signs in the zodiac. Libra women are considered the gay men of the zodiac. We just prefer the unseen to the seen. We are an air sign. We prefer a mental seduction to a physical show of force. She was probably mentally seducing him and he didn't pick up on it because mental seduction is way more exciting.

This is not Atom's case. He is burning rubber where there is no fire.

** Its not your stuff so don't take responsibility for it, its her stuff and her issues not yours.

Just because she is not attracted to him physically and does not want a romantic relationship with him, does not mean she has mental problems. She just isn't attracted to him. No harm. No foul.

Probably thinks he is a great person. No spark. No big deal.

Are you attracted to Rosie O'Donnell? Does that mean you have mental issues? No. So stop being silly.

Air-heads

ahhh. the eternal conundrum. aries are tricky. we want you when we want you, naked, NOW! give it to me, NOW! (warning: tantrum may well follow if denied) buuuut. if you aren't stimulating enough in other ways, you become a sportsex casualty. i've done it, alot of us have done it. i have broken hearts littering my past. i don't want someone who gives in too easy, but won't stick around for someone who makes me wait that one milisecond too long either. tightrope anyone? i need mental stimulation, very much so. but i don't want to get all mired in tons of silly, time wasting romantic crap. i don't want roses and candy and a long slow night of seduction. take me on a motorcycle ride, scare me while you're at it, take me for exotic unusual food, spicy or sushi, make me laugh, be creative with what we do, then don't wait until you take me home to "take me!!" ha. now, who's brave enough to try to make ME holla?
oh, amazingly enough, it's a cancer! he's a gemini moon, and venus and a sag ascending tho. it works.

ahhh rox, i have to admit, i dooooo love the dry and the droll when it comes to humor. i'm known for some rather cutting zingers, but i sense you can be much more subtle.
just out of curiosity, what sign are you? yeah, i admit, the sportsex thing can get really sticky if someone gets their heart involved. usually NOT the aries. i've rode roughshod over men who were picking out china patterns and i was simply "bored with nothing else to do and -hey i have needs-." is it a "charming" quality? nope. does the aries insensitivity cause issues with my spousal unit? oh yeah. i picked up dynamite and married a cancer! what the heck was i thinkin'? so i try to grow and grow up and make lotsa mistakes along the way. but, as an aries, i can shrug and cop to being a clod at least!! and i'm sooooorta charming, when i wanna beeee........

* all the libra women I know are frigid.

And how many libra women have you slept with? Don't accept illusion for truth.

**librans just arent up for an aries man

I will tell that to the stackpile of Arie's hearts. Only they would be charmed if I told them I am doing them a favour and they weren't up for me. 😉

You slept with your friend's husband? Interesting.

What's wrong with that?

My best friend had problems with delivering her 3rd child and couldn't have sex for a long time afterward, so because I love her, I serviced her husband for her.

No big deal . .

Interesting.

A well-endowed Leo . . hell yeah . . damn . . ok, my mind's going south.

Every leo I have encountered has been that way. They are GREAT! Good people too.

🙂

Most Scorps I know, and I know LOTS tend to be very good, kind, tender, sensitive souls. They actually hurt when they hurt people and have to be in deep to hurt someone.

As my best friend said just today, I don't know any (other she was talking about someone she just met who said described herself as bitchy) Scorps who would call themselves bitchy. As she said, it is generally how other signs perceive Scorps.

oh, scorps can be very generous, very conscious of how people perceive them, very very into doing their duty by people. buuuuut. scorps are at the dark end of the sexual scope (the sign assoc. with death and sex) and they can be oooohhh so mercenary. they get to a point where it's all out anything goes and they don't stop until it's done or you are! bro is a scorp. i never have any simple, easy relationships with scorps. ALWAYS very intense. passionate. good and bad. whew. the quality that i have the hardest time with, as an aries, is the secretiveness. hate it. just wanted to smack my brother half the time. and hey, let's not forget people, the man she's having the affair with is half the equation. everyone is in on it. i've been on both sides of this one. i've also been the one being cheated on. it's all a big tangled web.

roxi roxi roxi, red says, shaking her head. grinning a little too i might add. aries. scorpio. sizzzzzzle. never tepid, never boring. heat and fire and spitting anger and contest and usually both parties lose. sorry about your marriage. my ex was a pisces/libra. not magic.

an aquarian? good lord. detached much anyone? ugh. libra would rather talk about it for an hour and then go off and do it with themselves. sheesh. hey, gotta say, the doin' it part is one area you and i are both good at!
truth is tho, i can never decide if i wanna be single or married. i commit for about two minutes. i rethink the thing daily. and hell, i'm in LOVE even. whatever. aries, big starters, someone else finishes. we're already on to the next big exciting event.

Thank you AB.

🙂

What a diverse place..... this place, Earth....we call HOME.

Her behavior seems typical for all the scorpio women friends that I have had. Every single one of the has slept with married/taken men.

Unfortunately, true compassion can only come through self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-forgiveness.

We are all just wounded animals looking for a drink. Why wound others who are all ready hurting? Perhaps this is not a notion of which I cannot truly conceive.

* Perhaps this is not a notion of which I cannot truly conceive.

And perhaps I should be grateful.

I've come to that conclusion as well Aprilbaby. I had a good scorpio friend for years who had been minorly scandalous in college; it escalated upon graduation. I finally stopped speaking to her after she started sleeping with someone's husband. Did I mention that she ministered to this man's wife as head of the Church's women group?

Just ignore, AB . . she just feels threatened because Rox is so popular . . you know, that Aries ME, ME, ME thing. Normally, she is quite pleasant . . that is, until someone takes attention away from her.

lol, the Ram, in all their "I own the whole world" shit . . can't get past this attention-whoring crap . . so, what? Rox is popular and everyone loves her . .

geez . . talk about colors coming out,lol

I am not suprised you and Roxi get along.

I AM suprised that people care about there popularity on this site.

*** you never real hear of men going after someone else's chick like that

It happens. Quite often actually.

For the record, I'm new here so my shared horror with Aprilbaby isn't based on anyone's popularity or lack thereof.

I'm not joking, AB.

Here's the way it is . . normally, you get along with everybody . . keep everything light . . even got upset at the Aries/Scorpio topic of who will win because it pits people against each other. Usually, you just mind your own business and try to ease people who are opposed . . out of their rut.

Now . . all of a sudden . . your being hateful. That's out of character for you.

So, to say this isn't about attentin and being jealous . . well, people can SAY whatever the fuck they want to say and you can deny until your blue in the face, but we all know that actins speak louder than words . .

And your actions are talking, AB . . don't make yourself to look any more the fool than you already do, because GF, Rox is liked more than you . . so back off.

I don't think she is being hateful nor do I think she is being any different than she ever has been.

I don't post with AB very often but when I have she usually tells it as it is in a direct fashion. No different than now.

* Rox is liked more than you . . so back off.

Seriously? How old are you?

Also, a person who is usually sweet until someone says that Libra females are frigid . .now all of a sudden, in strike mode.

Geez . . sometimes I think every person in this whole world is ignorant to themselves except ME.

lol, know who you are . . even if it's being dumb

Do you really think we are all as stupid as you, if you think we can't detect this in behaviour that's out of character for the person inside?

lol, lol, lol

entering stage left...Burt Bacharach -walks over to his awesome piano sits down and begins to play....What The World Needs Now Is Love

Sorry, Freebird . . but, like I said, you have to be who you are . . and, well, you know me . . I'll tell you like it is . . I care not who you are.

Sorry if this spilled on you, FB

Me?

I am not on strike mode. I am not even riled. Trust me you would know. 😉

I actually only came on this thread because this guy was being so self-entitled and was completely pissed. Now I don't care.

As for Roxi, I actually feel bad for her. I cannot relate to her at all. (shrugs)

Of course you can't relate because sexually your an ice-cube . . sexually hot isn't in your vocabulary.

Oh, yes, I know about strike mode and though I may not be the most pleasant person in the world . . I do know about human behaviour . . and LS, like AB, normally, you are very sweet, mind your own fucking business and TRY very hard NOT to make yourself look like a complete fool.

Me, I could care a less what people think of me . . I am me . .like it or not.

You and AB are NOT like that . . wtf———

I will stop now, but, rest assured, though I may be the ONLY person telling you these things because I do NOT fear confrontation . . that everybody IS thinking it, they are just too nice to say it.

Don't be idiots.

P-Angel

In all honesty, I believe you lack any self-awareness. From where I stie, you appear too absorbed in your own dramas to understand people who are not in that place.

I am not in that place. You do not understand me because it is obvious, with every word you type, that you do not get me.

Water seeks its own level.

I must be missing something. I don't see any reason why it is strange for AB to be upset that Roxi chose to vindictively have sex with another woman's husband.

Caldibaci . . go look on the Scorpio board, then . . Aprilbaby is still attacking her, only now . . she's insulting Roxi as a parent . . trying to make her feel bad about how she's raising her kids.

So, it's really not about this issue . . Aprilbaby is attacking, taking punches below the belt, just for the sake of winning.

I mean, I understand Aries drive to win . . but, to attempt to make a mother feel bad about her children is fucking crap.

Roxi . . you don't have to justify your parenting skills to ANYBODY.

You're a good person and from what you've said about your kids . . you ARE a brilliant mother . . I know, not my business . . but, it upsets me that someone - ANYONE - would say such things about a person's ability to raise kids, soley because they are losing a fight.

I'm sorry I butted in . . . I'll leave.

It's just my Piscean nature, I guess . . I love my son, and as a mother . . I just can't fathom this . . I'm literally sitting here crying.

You're a good mum, Roxi . . you are . . look at how worried you were about your son and his dad.

Damn, I hate being Pisces, sometimes . . I can't stop crying.