Is my Aries on the dark side of the MOON!!

Hey all

Its been awhile since I wrote here and I need everyone's expertise. I am still seeing this Aries man that I spoke earlier (its been 3 months) about however I have some concerns. I asked my man who is 37 and an Aries if he wanted to be exclusive meaning lets not see anyone else I am a 29 yr old Pisces and like stability. He told me he isn't ready which is cool?however I have to call him 3-4 times a day when I don't he freaks out making false accusations that I was with another man etc and will start with threats such as don't call me , I need space then the next day he is calling acting like nothing happened. He fabricates other women to make me jealous when I confront him on this he says its cause he cares about me etc. One minute he claims that he loves me then another min he claims how I am not his type. What gives?I tried to analyze the situation and he gets angry. Since I am a Pisces a single mother of 3 and have a full time job I cant always be with this man every night I see him maybe once every couple of weeks as I need my own air to breath. Can anyone tell me what is going on in this Aries mans head as i cant and i am starting to hate him as i cant keep playing these games...frankly i am just getting to old for this?he is on the cusp of Aries and Pisces.

Cheers
Heidi

"I asked my man who is 37 and an Aries if he wanted to be exclusive meaning lets not see anyone else"

"He told me he isn't ready"

"he freaks out making false accusations that I was with another man"


Uummmmmm, heidil .. if it's HIS choice to not be exclusive, then you aren't accountable to him as to who you relate to.

For certain, like mentioned, Pisces tend to hear the unspoken and in so doing, we express without speaking, which leaves others to be confused of our intentions, however ... his intentions are spoken out and clear ..

.. he wants to keep you loyal and faithful to him, without a commitment on his part where he's bound to you ..

Think about that ....

"he wants to keep you loyal and faithful to him, without a commitment on his part where he's bound to you "

That doesnt seem very fair..however it does seem that way. If thats the case why would keep playing head games...such as saying I love you etc...one day he said starting today we are exclusive then the following day he changed his mind. If i go a day without calling him...its the end of the world. I have tried to explain to him that if we are not exclusive i dont really have to answer to him and thats when he wants to become an item.

Is this guy affraid of getting hurt?. Does he really care about me or does he just like the attention...frankly my 2yr old isnt this bad!! sorry i have better patience but i am getting a little hopless to Aries men....to bad they r such great kissers...lol

hmm

"he wants to keep you loyal and faithful to him, without a commitment on his part where he's bound to you "

"If thats the case why would keep playing head games"

This makes no sense to me .. you say that you realize that he's playing this game to keep you bound to him, while he enjoys the free life of not commiting, yet, then ask why he's playing head-games.

The game IS the game of keeping you loyal to him, that's why he's playing it.

Heidil.....You sound like your going through something similiar to what I've experience with my aries....

The I Love you one minute and want to be with you .....

Then the next minute he's not sure what he wants to do something else...

But the only difference in the mist of all that in our off and on years......we have concieved a child....

and that sucks the most...... It really seems to be a game for them to pull you in and then push you away....

Then as soon as you figure he's gone and you can move on he comes running....

That's what is seems like to me.....

I mean why tell a person you love them aries.....since you are suppose to be so honest, blunt and straight forward.... then push them away all at the sametime as if you don't love them or even want them......

It seems a little Bipolar to me.........

But WTF can you do to make sure their asses stay put....

I truly believe that there is a mis-understanding here of what the Aries actually wants versus what people believe that they want .. this causes this confusion in trying to relate to the Ram.

Aries doesn't want you to lay down before them .. if and when you do, you have lost thier respect .. if respect is gone, then they will continue to run you aground.

They will certainly try to tame you, confine you .. but, they don't want you to actually do it .. I remember something Arianlatay said in her thread about her dream man .. she said something to effect of - I want a man who let's me think I'm in charge, when really I'm not.

heidil, BlueVirgo .. these men don't want you to be submissive to them and let them rule over you, for to them, this means you've lost self-respect. And this appears to be the main issue here that is not understood. Both of you await his decisions, his choices, his desires .. these men want you to take charge of yourselves and NOT be subserviant to thier demands.

I'm not trying to be mean here .. it just appears to me that this isn't being understood.

Here's something Solitas said to a different person, however, referencing head-games and how the male Ram percieves this type of situation:

"I'm sick of the games and I don't deserve this. I deserve better than this." He'll appreciate the firmness of resolve, it won't come off as a challenge that will set him off, and it will force him to re-evaluate his behavior. Do this everytime he dis-respects you like that. Show him some backbone. He'll respect you for it."

It's about respect, ladies .. and they respect strength .. weakness of self shows no backbone.

It's snowing in april you guys.....

But any way Solitas was your comment for me or heidil.....because if it was for me.....my aries and I just had a new baby......

I don't get it because if you want a person why not jst say that and stick with it verses saying one thing and doing another....

I don't know how inform you are with my situation......but it appears he can't choose which mother of his child he wants.....

It also appears that me and him are always going through power struggles.....so I don't think I'm submissive to him at all.......

It just seems to me he's trying to get reaction from me by the things he's does or says....

He always says I think he's a sucker by him doing what I ask of him..... and sometimes he will do it and then some time he will power struggle with me....

It appears he uses what he thinks will get to me the most to either wake me up and get a response and this appears to go back the other babby mom.......

It's like he don't know for sure how I reaaly feel for him and I tell him but its like he still waiting for something esle to prove it.....

or he leaves when he can't have his way and ignores the H#ll out of me!!!!!!!

I mean how do you stand your ground and give into his wishes and show more attention at the sametime......

BlueVirgo .. I know you don't want to hear this, but, I'm gonna say it anyway because I'm a firm believer that hearing straight talk is better than sugar-coating. Certainly, I don't want to hurt your feelings .. but, at the same time, I feel compelled to say this ..

Below, you said (from your other post) of what happened while arguing:

"so I lash back and throw my ex in his face saying I will call him and do everything you think I do...... and he goes that's what Ive been waiting to hear"


You said: he turned cold, walked out and hasn't been heard from in 2 weeks.

It's not the Aries fire you have to worry about .. it's the ice.

You told him you wanted to be with another man .. he turned to ice .. and left.

Of course, anything is possible .. but, with all liklihood .. he's gone, BlueVirgo.

If that be the case what's up with his child......

I guess he's left the child too for good.....

that's why I filed support papers due to that being the case.....

and we've I through the ex up before and he left and came back.....

but I most definitlety understand what your saying.....

It's just the mom feels a need to be what it seems to be trying to get us to talk again....

What's the sun sign of the mother of his other child, do you know?

I doubt very seriously that he will write his child off .. if he had it in him to do that then all this fighting between the two of you would have never been an issue. Your dispute with him all along has been because he has a child with another woman and he has to take responsibility for that .. which he did, and that was the thorn in your side .. so, it's not probable that he will forsake the one he has with you.

He's probably just waiting until he feels that you have moved on and won't approach relationship issues with him when he tries to see his child. It's probably why his mother keeps calling you, though, she rarely did any time before .. she's feeling you out to see if you're still going to try and get some answers out him. I suspect that once he's satisfied that you aren't going to want to talk about feelings with him, he'll come see his child.

she is a scorpio......
I think thats what he told me before....
well p-angel......I never thought about it that way....

she maybe really doing that....I never really looked at it that way
I think I should just kind of go cold on the hold situation....
I think its best to get my child support and have nothing else to do with him...
because I won't be able to have closure.....
if they don't leave me be.....
if thats the case she is really cruel and I'm going to stop answering my phone for her.....
because it sounds if she continuing the game for him...
he's a man and needs to handle his own business.....

he needs to say..... I only want to see my child and nothing to do with you.....

?heidil, BlueVirgo .. these men don't want you to be submissive to them and let them rule over you, for to them, this means you've lost self-respect. And this appears to be the main issue here that is not understood. Both of you await his decisions, his choices, his desires .. these men want you to take charge of yourselves and NOT be subserviant to thier demands.?

Its funny you say this cause my Aries tells me the problem with me and while he isn't sure if he will commit to me is because I wont Submit to him. I told him I would submit a little when I find the right guy....

where did everyone go?.

In other words, you told him .. he isn't the right guy.

He doesn't want you to submit to him .. at least in the way in which I was referring, meaning STOP being confident and determined for yourself and your needs.

He's probably telling this to you because he believes that you will only do so for the right man .. he wants to be the man, and so he pressures for this reassurance.

Pisces are so fucked up with shit .. we do things ass-backwards all the time, it seems.

You have him believing that you will only submit to the right man
He wants to be the man, so he pressures you about submitting
You're busy with kids and need space, so will only see him once every couple weeks
The likely reason is really .. try and get him to commit by being elusive
He won't commit unless he's sure that he's your man .. by you being submissive as stated
You call him several times a day .. which is actually submitting

That's so dicked up .. we do it all the time. By you phoning him all the time, that is, in fact, signalling to him of your loyalty, yet, reiterate that you'll only submit to a man to whom is right .. essentially, keeping him, but, not letting go until he commits.

He won't commit to you because you are telling him he isn't the right man because you aren't submitting, yet phone him several times a day to keep him at arms length.

wtf —— I know, I know .. I'm a Pisces, too.

Thanks P ?Angel

Ok I see ur point, makes a lot of sense. At least he knows my motives?he knows I am looking for stability and that I would choose him if he let it however he is unsure and keeps me at arms length aswell?

He told me a few times that he keeps me at arms length as he claims the passion we have is something out of this world and something he has never experienced?.so I limit when I see him as I don't want him to get bored and I want to challenge him which I think I do pretty well?.I try my best to reassure him however he seems to be the most insecure person I have met to date?

I am hoping u don't reply to me saying he is in it for just the passion?and if u do how do I jump start it to something more or more intriguing.

Hey P-Angel.....
I finally broke down and called him to babysit for me.....

he was trying to be a little difficult by acting like.....
he's not stable and staying here and there.......
asking if I needed him to work a miracle to keep her....

then he goes I'll work something out.....I told him taker her to your moms...he said he has been avoiding her....I guess its because of her wanting to talk about me...
I mean you basicaly told me you were going back to the ex and staying with her....
but the hold time we are on the phone you keep dropping hints you aren't there...
its was as if he wanted me to say come here and watch her....

or open the conversation to say well you were here in a stable home and you chose to leave and so on....
but anyway he called the next day for me to come and get her.....but leaves her with mom by the time I got there.....

then he calls wants to conversate about baby and things in general....
then he cuts the conversation because it seems he got frustrated with me keeping the convo general which he was doing also.....he's tone changes completely and he goes......okay i'll talk to you later..... oh and he never brought up the support papers either...

I could feel he wanted to take the convo further.....I just wouldn't do it kept it simple to see it was just really was just going to be about we just have a kid together.....

So It really seems their something the aries have with this hold submission thing bcause I get the same vibe from my aries baby daddy....

"I am hoping u don't reply to me saying he is in it for just the passion"

No, actually, what jumped out at me, was the below:

"I try my best to reassure him however he seems to be the most insecure person I have met to date?"

Telling someone they are the most insecure person you've met to date is "reassurance"?

Maybe, I read that wrong .. my head is all over the place today .. I'm not even sure about my own self at the moment, lol

"I just wouldn't do it kept it simple to see it was just really was just going to be about we just have a kid together....."


There you go, BlueVirgo .. take the reigns back. This is YOUR life, too .. make him see just what kind of a strong and self-reliant woman you are.

Rock on .. that was great !!!!!!!

Telling someone they are the most insecure person you've met to date is "reassurance"?

LOL...ok maybe i said it wrong... i ment I try to reassure him on how he is great looking?.how I am attracted to him, how sweet he is how I like him etc how I am not with anyone however he doesn't believe it which makes him the most insecure man I have met.

and crazy question here..but how important is sex to an Aries man...if u dont give it to them when they want do they take it as rejection?.

🙂

🙂 🙂