Scorpio dude needs help with Aries chick

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SaintsDay
@SaintsDay
17 Years

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Did I fuck up totally with her?

Basically, we started talking a few motnhs ago and we went out a few times. I let her know I wasn't looking for anything serious right away and she agreed to that. But I started feeling a certain way about her and I didn't really have the time or energy for it, so we stopped talking as much and going out as much. Meantime, I started hanging with a girl I used to hook up with. She wasn't my gf or anything ,we just hooked up a couple times. We were friends first and it just happened. Well, I found out she was fucking other dudes while she was fucking me so we stopped hooking up because I don't play that, but we still hang out as friends sometimes. When I started feeling things were going to fast with the Aries girl, I started hanging out with this girl again, not sexually that much, because I can't trust her, but she's funny and we have a good rapord and its low stress hanging out with her because I know we're not doing anything serious.

Anyway, the Aries girl found out I was hanging out with this girl lately and now she won't talk to me. I know I probably fucked it up, but things were getting too heavy for me, I guess, but I miss her. Not sure if there's anything I can say or do. I see her sometimes, we work in the same building but not in the same place, and today I saw her and she just walked past me. On one side I don't feel like I did anything wrong cause the Aries girl wasn't my girlfriend and so I wasn't cheating or nothing, but on the other side I feel like I might be messing up something good. she's alot different than other girls I dealed with, together, with a good job, no kids, funny, but I just am not sure I want anything serious but I'm not sure I don't either. Well, if anyone can help me here, thanks.

Saints Day (11/1/84)
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SaintsDay
@SaintsDay
17 Years

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Thanks, man.

I mean, I've been sort of depressed since she started ignoring me. I don't want her to hate me, I guess. I feel like I was pretty honest with her, but she did ask me about the girl and I said we weren't doing anything. At the time we weren't, but it just sort of happened cause I just needed to back away from a situation that just was moving too fast for me.

So I guess I feel guilty too cause I look kinda lke I was lying about not being with this other girl. I didn't mean for her to find out, though, I just hoped we could chill a little bit and then we coul figure it out. I never meant for us to never talk at all, though.
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ariesgirl402
@ariesgirl402
18 Years1,000+ Posts

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oh😉 another aries girl / scorp guy pairing!!! 🙂
"So I guess I feel guilty too cause I look kinda lke I was lying about not being with this other girl." - one of the worst thing you could possably do!!!
from what you're saying she was doing the same thing and we can be just like guys when it comes to sex.
if two of you want to be together there must not be: emotional manipulation, laying, cheating, bitching, loud fights, checking up on each other, not trusting each other.
must be: affection, taking care of each other in subtle ways, text or call each other during the day for a brief hi, a lot of great sex, ability to be separate from each other and be devoted to each othe at the same time, know where two of you stand and want from each other.
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ariesgurls06
@ariesgurls06
19 Years

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LOL... Aries takes everything seriously... Being one I can tell you I devote energy into relationships... and the other person can't see that.

Aries NEED to be NUMBER one in their partners eyes... They will not accept anything except that... Even if they pretend to.. They will constantly question your intentions or whereabouts...

I think to save the situation you should explain to your Aries the exact thing you just did. Let her know why she is better than the other girl.. TRUST me, we love hearing how much were loved.. And how great we are.

Plus I know when I stop talking to a guy, if they don't fight for me... When I walk away, they aren't worth being in a relationship with...

Remember we are very jealous people.
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zenalchemy
@zenalchemy
17 Years5,000+ Posts

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''When I started feeling things were going to fast with the Aries girl'' ''but things were getting too heavy for me, I guess''

Aries will sense this too as they sense a lot of emotions with anyone they are with. So this is why she saw it as something serious and finding out about the other lady is a huge blow to her ego.

You just have to be honest with Aries - they don't really like relationship games. Trust me, she would have given you the space you need to figure things out.

If you decide to talk to her again, try to be decisive on what you want first.
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ariesfire
@ariesfire
17 Years

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To OP

Ok you Scorps, you are a clever lot, so you should KNOW that an Aries does not want to KNOW if you are banging someone else! Figure out how to keep a lid on it. You are smart, you can do it! Hell, she was probably doing it herself, but wouldn't dream of letting you find out. She knows damn well you and her both have big egos!

You and your Aries girl agreed on not having anything serious you said. Well if I agree with someone I am sleeping with (which 99% of the time I would agree, love my freedom) then it should be a given that both of us are DISCREET in our dealings with other lovers.

If you want her back, shower her with attention, fun dates, and never let her find out about other women again. If you really want a casual sex relationship with her that may or may not grow to something else, stick to your guns. But don't say it is because you want to sleep with others, but because you enjoy your independence for now. That she will understand, your need for freedom. She won't understand your need to sleep with someone else because she is the hottest thing on this earth in her eyes and you best not mess with her fantasy!

Good luck, I really mean that. Even though I have a love/hate relationship with you sexy bastards.............





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Morisaki998
@Morisaki998
17 YearsAries

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This reminds me of my ex who was a Scorpio as well. Two weeks after asking me to be his gf, he started to "hang out" with his ex(a libra) to the point where his ex picked up his cellphone. I was like wth, then he explained "we didn't do anything" on top of "I didn't think our relationship was that serious." I dumped him right away, then he started to blackmail me with suicide and stuff. God... so much drama. But I never turned back anyways, that's the Aries style .
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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SaintsDay, I know you feel upset about this, and kudos to you for listening to your conscience .. but, the thing is .. this woman is not right for you, and she's not right for anybody right now because she isn't even right for herself. If a person isn't even worthy of honouring thier own word, then how can another person ever be right?

You told her the truth, upfront ....
"I let her know I wasn't looking for anything serious"

And she accepted this ...
"she agreed to that"

Two people who are NOT in a commited relationship are just that ... they have no obligations to each other as it pertains to faithfulness because without a commitment ... you are single, as is she.

That is the whole purpose of a commitment .. is it not?

You have to keep in mind about the attention-seeking desire of the Ram, for their need for attention supercedes anything else and is top priority.

"Plus I know when I stop talking to a guy, if they don't fight for me... When I walk away"


Think about what the above quote is actually saying .... the Aries isn't necessarily concerned about actually HAVING the man, they are concerned about having the drama of fighting for them. For a Ram to say that, it would indicate that the sole purpose of stopping from talking to the man was for him to fight, to show attention ... and not really any real desire to talk to him, for him .. because if that were the case, then she wouldn't STOP talking to him, with intentions to get him to fight for her.

See?

You have to keep this in mind when you figure out what you are going to do here, because you are worried about her not even talking to you.

You have to ask yourself .... what is it you want? Do you want a woman who will encroach you into fighting for her, so she feels special with this kind of competitive attention on the superficial level? Or, do you want a woman who sincerely wants to talk to you, who wants to share quality attention with you?

Fighting over or for a woman so she can feel special to you isn't really quality ..... it's egotistical.

On the other hand .. this female friend of yours, you can relate to. Even when the two of you decide to stop sleeping together, she doesn't encroach you into a dramatic display of attention to feed her ego.

Instead of worrying about whether or not you fucked up with this Aries girl .. perhaps you should be thinking about whether she is even worthy of you at all.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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Some will take in stride, some won't ... depends on the maturity level of the Ram, bs4u. Most in here know that I speak straight as I see it .. and let the chips fall where they will.

And that's exactly what I see here ... this lady was accepting that this man was not into anything serious at this time, which means, he only wanted to hang out, casually. She agreed to this.

She then has no grounds, whatsoever, to take any kind of offense to what this man does in his personal life. And the same visa-versa.

If this man had said this in reverse .. that the Ram was seeing somebody else and he got mad, when there wasn't a commitment, then I'd be linching him .. telling him he has no right, or grounds.