What's wrong with this Aries?

I know this Aries man who is 43 years old. He's not married and never was. He was dumped out of his work by a woman. He was hardworking, honest and and (all that good stuff ya know) and still when he left the company where he was working so many years, he didn't say anything. Not even object. I do think this is irresponsibility towards yourself. If you don't know how to hold your ground, then you're pathetic and no one will save you. This is very bitter experience for him, but he only now gets that he was irresponsible towards himself that long time. ONLY NOW HE GETS THAT? I'm shocked!

I knew that something like that could happen to me as well, and for that exact reason I left my work place.

Why don't people see such things?

And I know alot of them.

cuz they're not as smart as you i guess

Haffo...."when the student is ready, the teacher will appear." All in due time, everything truly does happen in the right moment.

When we are ready to see and understand something, we will. Remember, we do NOT already know everything - we came here to learn. Once we learn, we do not make that mistake again (hopefully).

Be happy for your Aries friend, at least he learned and it was perfect timing for him. Hey, does every flower bloom at the same time?

Oh by the way...to answer your question. "what is wrong with this Aries?" Nothing! 😉

Of course we cannot forsee everything and there are time for everything,

But this man knew that he gonna get screwed by not prepearing an escape plan. He knew and didn't acted. That makes me tick.

Maybe then he needed to learn his lesson by not trusting his instincts...next time perhaps he will listen to that small voice within. Again, it is about LEARNING.

If you do not mind me asking Haffo...why do you think you landed here on planet earth?

"Maybe then he needed to learn his lesson by not trusting his instincts"

After 43? His life is wasted...

" If you do not mind me asking Haffo...why do you think you landed here on planet earth?"

I don't think about why I landed to this planet. It rather not my choise anyway. The most important thing right now is that I need to learn how to survive.

Oh Haffo..c'mon! His life is not wasted...that is only your opinion. At what point does someone's life become "wasted?" Ya know, we are in constant learning mode infact, the ONLY thing that IS constant is change and with change, comes learning.

"The most important thing right now is that I need to learn how to survive." Yeah boyeeeeeeee! that IS it! 😉 Same as Mr. Aries.

P.S. We all came here to play, learn and grow. - Have fun with it. :-) why not?

Hey what are the good qualites of your Aries pal? I know he has some.....

He's not young anymore. No matter how wise he because after this time, he can't bring back the chances that he has lost. He IS wasted.

He's definetly quite behind in life challanging scene and he wasted his chances alot. I find this kind of waste as irresponsibility.

Mr. Aries did ignore alot in his time, so he didn't fulfill his survival needs which is irresponsibility towards oneself life right.

The good quality in Mr.Aries is that he's ambitious and enthusiastic. I like these qualities alot. He appears to be typical Mr.Aries, but he also has alot depression because of these qualities. He cannot settle down himself emotionally that he wasted himself so much. He does have no job, and his family do look after him. Can you even imagine how it feels to be 43 years old and still be watched by your family.

I understand how he feels, I do perfectly. And I do whatever in my hands to help him out, but I also cannot forgive him for his irresponsibility. I just cannot respect him.

" I just cannot respect him."

I do not show this to him for sure, but deep down in my soul I feel this way towards him. My father is very similair to him, so I see him in same direction. This is kind of general situation to me, and I find many similar personality characters within such people.

They are not good people Freebird. They are selfish, arrogant and doomineering. They always need to feed upon someone until they got dumped. Those people rarely wise up in their life and I just hate them.

What is young? the #43 only represents how many times the earth has gone around the sun - nothing more and nothing less. Age is all in the mind. If you think young, you are...

Hmm...I'm thinking that Haffo, with respect to ALL humans...I feel that we each do our best and what we know in each moment. If we knew better, we would make a different choice.

sheezy....I have made a ton of mistakes (if you want to call them that - I prefer to call them learning opportunities) and I am all the wiser for them. Nothing is ever lost if you did not have it to begin with.

Is Mr. Aries still alive and breathing? If so, his HAS fulfilled his survival needs. 😉

Well...I suppose all of us are very different and we make very different choices...such is life. Embrace diversity! It's ALL good.

He is who he is...love him anyway (if you can).

"What is young? the #43 only represents how many times the earth has gone around the sun - nothing more and nothing less. Age is all in the mind. If you think young, you are..."

Age is not just in mind. Even if he starts to wise up today, he's still 20 years behind the race. Whatever he will think, he couldn't bring back his young years. And yes, there is a difference between young and middle aged. You can't ignore it by thinking differently. It's sounds like ignorance, self releiving behaviour.

"Hmm...I'm thinking that Haffo, with respect to ALL humans...I feel that we each do our best and what we know in each moment. If we knew better, we would make a different choice."

He knew the better way, but probably his arrogance, selfishness and domineering personality somehow didn't calculate this result. He probably thought that he can feed upon people like that his whole life. But I'm sorry, not everyone is counting in the same place like this man did. Others do wise up and someday they wise up enough to dump people like this Mr.Aries. As it happened...

He had a choice, but he got the worst and stupidiest one.

"sheezy....I have made a ton of mistakes (if you want to call them that - I prefer to call them learning opportunities) and I am all the wiser for them. Nothing is ever lost if you did not have it to begin with."

Learning experiences are just fine. But this is not same with this guy, because he didn't practise anything to learn about. That why he has no experience about anything.

" Is Mr. Aries still alive and breathing? If so, his HAS fulfilled his survival needs."

Of course he will survive biologically. He has family, brothers, friends etc. He will not starve to death.

But socially, he did not survived.

"Well...I suppose all of us are very different and we make very different choices...such is life. Embrace diversity! It's ALL good."

I have nothing against that. I welcome differences. I understand that every difference is a learning experience.

" He is who he is...love him anyway (if you can)."

He can be who he is. But social life needs to survive. You just cant allow yourelf to fall back to your parents hands by just being irresponsible.

You are basing all of this on your perspective...he is not you. Allow him to live his life the way he chooses. If he is not happy then he is responsible to make that change.

I have quite a few friends who have pets...dogs mainly. A lot of these dogs are the same age but they do not all act the same. Why is that?

Each person has their own individual time line of when they choose to do something...there is no right or wrong...what are you personally measuring his actions by?

It's not just my measurment. It's also social norm. I don't have anything about his timeline, the coming experiences to be experienced in specific time etc, but we all bond to social norms that requre a 43 years old man to be fully autonomus.

And dogs does not have social norms like we humans do. They can be different from each other in behavioural department, but they don't need to hurry in their development to biologically survive.

What is "social norm?" heck, what is NORMAL? phooey - I am sooooo way out of the "box". 🙂 (and I like it this way) Perhaps us Aries are just different thinkers...I'm gonna follow the beat to my own drummer...this "social norm" stuff has created some pretty weird things lately...have you noticed the state of affairs of this world?

I do understand what you mean about social norms. I do sometimes rebel against them alot too. But some social norms are made just because it is the only fair way to be like that. This Aries man is acting unfair towards his parents, because they are barely able to sustain their own life and economic status. I wouldn't mind much if they were wealthy, but it's really not very nice to act that way towards your parents espesially when you do not plan this part of your life.

Therefore, the norm here works just perfectly fine.

Ah....then maybe the problem lies within the parents? Perhaps they have chosen to help him - they are allowing him to continue with this behaviour. They do have the ability to tell him to move out ya know. Maybe they enjoy his lively Aries company 😉 and having him around.

We are talking about different things now. You think about fun within misery which is not tactful way of living.

Haffo, I really do feel this all ties in together. If they are all living together, then they are all making choices together. I'm sure in time they will all figure it out - their way.

"you think about fun within misery which is not tactful way of living." Huh? I suppose I do think a lot about fun - why not? It sure beats thinking thoughts of misery.

They living together, because they are his parent. They can't allow him to live in streets. This would be way to off if they allow it rather than allow him to live with them.

Of course they do make choices and I have no right to change anything about their will. But one thing you lose from your sights is that living with your parents does not provide the same freedoom to you than living alone. And if you are 43 years old and still bond with "that" much freedom and have no problem about that, then you probably have no life to worry about.

"Huh? I suppose I do think a lot about fun - why not? It sure beats thinking thoughts of misery."

Thinking fun in misery only releives your depression, but it does not solve your problems. And if you feel depressed in misery then it is a good sign of your intelligence.

Ok...what if you don't have depression - then what? ....and what if you don't have any problems only opportunities?

If you don't have depression then you definetly know what you need to do. You know the solution. This is % 100. Otherwise, you will feel depression, you cant run from that.

If we know the solution, then we see only opportunities. Up's and down's in our life is just natural cause of our life.

...is just natural cause of our judgements. It may even be funny to knowingly start everything from the scratch. I know.

"Men take awhile to trust their instincts and intuition. It's not nearly as easy or natural for most men to go by their instincts because it's viewed as being illogical and men hate to be considered that. It wounds their ego."

I disagree. I belive it's actually the opposite. This should be applied to women. Men are actually logical thinkers. They will try to find the best way to deal with situation as soon as they can. Which means, chekcing wether their instincts do lead to truth or not.

"But haffo, what I'm kinda confused about is when you say got dumped over a woman do you mean they fired him, and replaced him with a woman?? Was it wrongfully done and he didn't say anything??"

The woman was his head of department. When he refused to lick her ass, she fired him.

The company needed to be shrinked, and when the time has come to decide who's out, she decided on him.

He was a salesperson and he was the best in his department. There was other two women in the department who was nothing in this business, and since he didn't lick her ass, she dumped him.

He just didn't resist. He should have proved him worthiness in the company, be he chosen just to leave.

Haffo

Maybe your expectaions where a little to high for him(that's where your lack of respect come in). I find that some Aries men as well as woman tend to let things fly over their heads until it comes back and slaps them in the back of the neck. It's a learning experience for the fearless one's. Respect him for that much! He is bouncing back from it all, I assume?

Callmemsram

You can't be serious. How can someone like him even survive in the world? My expectations where a little high for him...What is normal then? To leave company without fight? To live with your parents and think it's fine? This is what you try to say? Oh wait, maybe it's better to give whatever someone in the street want without giving a resistance? This can't be normal.

If you think I'm wrong, then correct me.

"Respect him for that much! He is bouncing back from it all, I assume?"

Respect him...Do you truly belive he respects himself? Do you belive if he really would respect himself he would allow himself to fall into such situation? Is there any self respect in him to himself?

How can I respect someone when this person does not respect himself in the first place?

Eazzzy Haffo,

You are right in the whole sense of him not putting up a fight. And HELL NO it's not normal to allow lifes circumstances to trample all over you! But you fail to realize, as someone had already mentioned, this is not about you or me and anyone else. Maybe he has lost the fight to be challenged or he may not want to fight period. It's a sad thing to say. He may as well have put a fight, but he might be afraid of himself!!! could you look at it this way—?

MssRam

I have nothing against him. This is his life. He screws up his problem. I just wondered why people do act this way. It's somehow hard to belive that this is simply the "right" time for him to realise that.

Life is complex. It's all around us. Wether we are in it or not, it's exist. Good and bad things happen. You might not be aware of it, but they happen. It's always our choice to give in and watch what happens. To learn something for ourselves from others experiences. A person must be extremly ignorant to not even pick for a moment in it. If he really would do that, he would perfectly understand that there is nothing present and given in this life without a fight!

"Maybe he has lost the fight to be challenged or he may not want to fight period. It's a sad thing to say. He may as well have put a fight, but he might be afraid of himself!!! could you look at it this way—?"

It appears like you want to come to the point that:

"No matter what happened, he does not deserve the isolation".

Maybe...

Isolation in sence of respect.

Respect him...Do you truly belive he respects himself? Do you belive if he really would respect himself he would allow himself to fall into such situation? Is there any self respect in him to himself?


Lol.........What do you believe? or should I say, how well do you know this person? NOW!! Has he ever told you about his past life experiences and what influences his parents had on him? this may as well explain him not leaving the nest....Not that he doesn't have respect for himself, this may be all he knows......not much knowledge as yourself.....wise one!!! smile

Yes you are right. It's wrong to make moral judgement just on how he looks. I don't know how he was brought up so I can't really say wether it's his mistake. As you said, it could be perfectly only what he knows.

Thank you MssRam.

A person must be extremly ignorant to not even pick for a moment in it. If he really would do that, he would perfectly understand that there is nothing present and given in this life without a fight!

I know its hard for you to understand sweety! This is what the world is made of. People who succeed and those who have failed. Don't take in so much because of his age. Children tend to believe when they grow up, they are suppose to have good jobs, a nice house, car etc...But their little minds are not suppose to believe any difference. You are still young, and your beliefs are not wrong. Just remember, your experiences in your life are just that and your level of understanding will not be able to match the what and why's of someone half your age. You are on the right track and a little ahead, because what you don't understand now, you will have an edge to fully understand it all later. You deserve a HUUUUUGGG! Msram

"Children tend to believe when they grow up, they are suppose to have good jobs, a nice house, car etc...But their little minds are not suppose to believe any difference."

Then if I understood you right, this man is not the last I will encounter? There are actually many of them? And people either win or lose, therefore I will encounter with alot similair defeated people?

I'm afraid so Haffo. On your life journey's, you will encounter some of the worst situations. Look at bums on the street. Look at sucessful people who have wonderful lives and then commit suicide. Look at the loving father who loses his well paid job and then goes home and kills his wife for the insurance money. Its all around you already. This particular person in your life, just hit closer to home. You are just experiencing how things can go in one's life. We all have choices, its just based on which one's we take. Your life is suppose to be better as you grow older (yes)! But who's to say that failure is not destined for any of us. Life can throw you a pretty hard curve if and when not looking. Its merely the strength thats within ourselves, to bounce back, leave the worst behind and keep moving forward positively. Its not impossible you see?

haffo, you use the word "normal" so much. have you never realized that there are ppl who have no desire to fit into that category? and what is normal anyway?
if all people would settle on mediocrity, there would be no art, no challenges. just a bunch of grey ppl.

and what is normal anyway?

(Normal) in the way Haffo seems to express it is merely, what he believes to be normal and only knows what is normal from his own prospective. That's all.......

People cannot be placed into a category of one's thoughts, unless they choose to be there!

As you have stated " grey people" who are they? or who do you believe they exist, which may be normal to you!!!!

See my point?

all i'm saying is you don't know the motives of other ppl, you don't know what's going on in their heads, so i wouldn't be so quick to judge. let everyone do what they think is right for them.

and btw, as i sent my reply i accidentally pressed the wrong button, the flag button *cough*. so if this thread gets closed down, it's my fault *sneaking out* lol

I hate to change the topic...and I'm sure no one will respond to what I have to say since this is such a heated debate. But Haffo, when I read your responses, it reminds me of the character Gambit from X-men (the accent). I used to have the biggest crush on him (A CARTOON CHARACTER!!) Carry on~

"Carry on~"......

my wayward sons - there'll be peace when we are done.....

You are right Tupeline.

Sometimes people have to judge in order to look out side the box. In Haffo's case, that's all he has done. He is in the learning process to look past his own perception on how people can actually be. Judging is not a bad thing to do in some cases. We just have to be prepared to be judged as individuals. Some may not like it, but its the truth!

Tupeline

Wether you like to fit into "normal" category or not, there is a fact about life and that is no one want's to be trampled by life circumstances. Perhaps this could be normal.