E. M. Henderson
@Emhendo
8 Years1,000+ PostsCancer
Comments: 6961 · Posts: 3640 · Topics: 152
Shit the Signs Have Said to Me
Bump
I lol'd hard at cancer and leo.
Praise to virgo, if only because i'm a LOTR fangirl.
I think capricorn has the potential to be juicier.
The sag statement is just a great embodiment of "can do, let's go" attitude sags are known for.
Praise to virgo, if only because i'm a LOTR fangirl.
I think capricorn has the potential to be juicier.
The sag statement is just a great embodiment of "can do, let's go" attitude sags are known for.
Lmfao Taurus 😂😂😂
Virgo sun scorpio moon: “ I plan every move like a game of chess ♟ . It’s the art of war”
Aquarius : “ how are you? I really don’t care “ 😆
Libra: sees girl with same shoes .. “ I have the same shoes but mine are so much better “
Pisces: “ some people are full of hate “ then goes and randomly kicks babies and swears at the elderly
Capricorn: “ I don’t drink and I am the definition of independent. I do everythibg myself” then talks about the bottle of wine that was drunk last night and how they are trying to black mail their parents to pay for their appliance
Scorpio: “ I had a slutty summer “
Taurus: “ I brought cake” everyday for the past 7 years
Leo: “ im feeling myself “ while gazing at self in mirror
Aries: “ you can call me the boss “
Cancer: “ do you want a snack?” Proceeds to cook four course meal
Sag: “ I’m not trying to be rude... but...”
Gem: “ never wrestle with a pig . You both get dirty and the pig likes it”
Aquarius : “ how are you? I really don’t care “ 😆
Libra: sees girl with same shoes .. “ I have the same shoes but mine are so much better “
Pisces: “ some people are full of hate “ then goes and randomly kicks babies and swears at the elderly
Capricorn: “ I don’t drink and I am the definition of independent. I do everythibg myself” then talks about the bottle of wine that was drunk last night and how they are trying to black mail their parents to pay for their appliance
Scorpio: “ I had a slutty summer “
Taurus: “ I brought cake” everyday for the past 7 years
Leo: “ im feeling myself “ while gazing at self in mirror
Aries: “ you can call me the boss “
Cancer: “ do you want a snack?” Proceeds to cook four course meal
Sag: “ I’m not trying to be rude... but...”
Gem: “ never wrestle with a pig . You both get dirty and the pig likes it”
Posted by Neshama
Leo
* I am a bachelor type ....i dont want to get married but i just want to have a huge wedding ...just for me on my birthday ..in a castle..i have zero intentions of marrying ever*
I’m a Leo and I approve of this message
These are REAL quotes, people.
Shit people really den said to me..
Shit people really den said to me..
Posted by VitalePosted by Neshama
Leo
* I am a bachelor type ....i dont want to get married but i just want to have a huge wedding ...just for me on my birthday ..in a castle..i have zero intentions of marrying ever*
I’m a Leo and I approve of this messageclick to expand
Let's get married.
Posted by EmhendoPosted by VitalePosted by Neshama
Leo
* I am a bachelor type ....i dont want to get married but i just want to have a huge wedding ...just for me on my birthday ..in a castle..i have zero intentions of marrying ever*
I’m a Leo and I approve of this message
Let's get married.click to expand
You’re a cool ass chick Emhendo , but I like the male genitalia and I’m already wifed up . Maybe in another life... we would have a kick ass wedding party
Posted by VitalePosted by EmhendoPosted by VitalePosted by Neshama
Leo
* I am a bachelor type ....i dont want to get married but i just want to have a huge wedding ...just for me on my birthday ..in a castle..i have zero intentions of marrying ever*
I’m a Leo and I approve of this message
Let's get married.
You’re a cool ass chick Emhendo , but I like the male genitalia and I’m already wifed up . Maybe in another life... we would have a kick ass wedding partyclick to expand
PfftttFFTT..
Pisces: (In a hurt voice) I never had a potato phase, I always looked good! I'm not a potato!
Yeah! I can do this, no problem!....Help I can't do this...
Scorpio: Hey wanna see my new cane? (Unscrews the handle and pulls out a sword)
Capricorn: I want a pet skunk and name it stinky.
Leo: I want to stick something in you 😘
(Pouts) You didn't wink back at me! I've been winking at you all day and you ignored me!
Libra: I'm a good boy who does bad things
I just wish she wouldn't slap my ass all the time.
Aqua: Dude today I pissed off all the laws of physics bc they were all out to get me!
I'm sorry, you can call me an asshole, idc, those hairless cats are ugly.
Cancer: (coming into work) Guess what? I just had sex, can you tell?
Yeah I'm a bitch but even I have a heart (proceeds to buy a can of cat food and feed a stray cat)
Sagittarius: Like I enjoy museums but our second date was also at a military museum. Where he spent hours explaning military stuff and we didn't even get food. We were done.
Have you heard the Squirrel Song?
Yeah! I can do this, no problem!....Help I can't do this...
Scorpio: Hey wanna see my new cane? (Unscrews the handle and pulls out a sword)
Capricorn: I want a pet skunk and name it stinky.
Leo: I want to stick something in you 😘
(Pouts) You didn't wink back at me! I've been winking at you all day and you ignored me!
Libra: I'm a good boy who does bad things
I just wish she wouldn't slap my ass all the time.
Aqua: Dude today I pissed off all the laws of physics bc they were all out to get me!
I'm sorry, you can call me an asshole, idc, those hairless cats are ugly.
Cancer: (coming into work) Guess what? I just had sex, can you tell?
Yeah I'm a bitch but even I have a heart (proceeds to buy a can of cat food and feed a stray cat)
Sagittarius: Like I enjoy museums but our second date was also at a military museum. Where he spent hours explaning military stuff and we didn't even get food. We were done.
Have you heard the Squirrel Song?
Posted by NeshamaPosted by FireStarter
Cancer: (coming into work) Guess what? I just had sex, can you tell?
Yeah I'm a bitch but even I have a heart (proceeds to buy a can of cat food and feed a stray cat)
OMG .....you got me on both counts and i am embarrassed.click to expand
Lol really?! Must be a crab thing! 🦀 😂🤣
Lmao at Cancer 😂
that was the bomb!
Anyways, here are some i can recall ⬇
Scorpio: "Anything.. I don't feel good enough"
Cancer: "We can argue after work but you need to do as I say during. You don't know anything!"
Gemini:
"then we would go about looking at sides of things."
"I can't believe it! You suggested us to have this date and now you're telling me you're on your period??!! Fuck!!"
Libra: "Why did you lie??!! You don't simply forget your phone charger in the office!! I know you're lying!!"
Capricorn 1: "It's because you always turn into negative thinking!"
Capricorn 2: "If you are about to fight with her, you'll lose."
Taurus: "Why do you always think in boxes?"
Aries: "Ok. Cold."
Sagittarius 1: "You should open up a youtube channel and start talking tarot predictions"
Sagittarius 2: "what? I still wanna help you out."
Pisces: TMI
Virgo:
"You do what you hate and you do it first."
"After this, we are going our own separate ways."
Aquarius:
"I know you laugh because you are missing your father so much so you do so to tackle the pain."
"I, myself, listen to whatever the person's advice, not caring who he is in person."
(In public) "what does (my name) you know!"
I know none
✌
that was the bomb!
Anyways, here are some i can recall ⬇
Scorpio: "Anything.. I don't feel good enough"
Cancer: "We can argue after work but you need to do as I say during. You don't know anything!"
Gemini:
"then we would go about looking at sides of things."
"I can't believe it! You suggested us to have this date and now you're telling me you're on your period??!! Fuck!!"
Libra: "Why did you lie??!! You don't simply forget your phone charger in the office!! I know you're lying!!"
Capricorn 1: "It's because you always turn into negative thinking!"
Capricorn 2: "If you are about to fight with her, you'll lose."
Taurus: "Why do you always think in boxes?"
Aries: "Ok. Cold."
Sagittarius 1: "You should open up a youtube channel and start talking tarot predictions"
Sagittarius 2: "what? I still wanna help you out."
Pisces: TMI
Virgo:
"You do what you hate and you do it first."
"After this, we are going our own separate ways."
Aquarius:
"I know you laugh because you are missing your father so much so you do so to tackle the pain."
"I, myself, listen to whatever the person's advice, not caring who he is in person."
(In public) "what does (my name) you know!"
I know none
✌
I‘ve said that before too „I‘m weird and I like to be weird but not even I am THAT weird“
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Sagg is more direct and Always focused on closing the sale.
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Aries:
"Yea... It's a FOOLISH house!"
Me: You coulda made a move 😉
Taurus:
"I don't make moves, that's not classy lmao"
(honorable mention) "You got a dick not a flowaa 🥀"
Gemini:
"I tend to my grudges... Like little plants. I water them, I think about them. I don't let shit go. You gotta be like me"
Cancer:
"I can't do no fucking... I got a disease. If ONE piece of nut touch me - I'm pregnant"
Leo:
"A baby is basically a parasite"
Virgo:
"I can't call you Pastor if you look young... That's like calling Chris Brown 'pastor'. It just don't fit... You gotta look wise. Like Gandolf."
Libra:
"You gotta clean a mothafuckin car like you clean ya ass.. You gotta get all up in them cracks"
Scorpio:
"Okay. I like people that ask a lot of questions."
(Honorable mention) "It doesn't cost anything to be nice to someone"
Sagittarius:
"You don't like coffee?!? Coffee is the American way!"
Capricorn:
"You get more bees with honey than shit"
Aquarius:
"I looked like a goddess just walking with my fucking feet.. And he was in a CAR looking like shit, motherfuckers hate that!"
(Honorable mention) "I didn't like this shit... Like I'm weird, but I ain't THAT weird"
Pisces:
"Yeah... I don't drink anymore.... But you inspired me to cut my hair off"