Things Not to Do at the Office Party by Sign

Aries (March 21 to April 19)
You're a go-getter, Aries -- quick to accomplish things but also quick to say exactly what you think. Number one rule at the office party: don't engage in any heated debates, especially with people you don't like. Even an innocent question like "Who's hotter, Ashlee or Jessica?" is apt to spiral out of control after a few glasses of wine. And, dress up a little -- looking like you came straight from the gym won't score any points.

Taurus (April 20 to May 20)
You're not a show-off, Taurus, but you do have an affinity for nice things. And you like to spread the wealth around by giving lovely gifts. The office party is not the place, however, to bestow expensive gifts -- especially to the boss. Nor should you come bedecked in your most opulent finery. A little populist-consciousness goes a long way at the holidays. Also, no snide comments about that Aries who just arrived in workout gear!


Gemini (May 21 to June 20)
You have a short attention span, Gemini. But no matter how bored you get at the party, do NOT start text-messaging your best friend, thinking no one's going to notice. Regaling co-workers with the fascinating details of your latest romantic exploits isn't a good idea, either. Nor is slipping out back for a smoke and forgetting to return. Instead, ask questions, practice your listening skills -- and make sure you're not the first to leave.

Cancer (June 21 to July 22)
Getting you out of your cozy nest is often tricky, Cancer. Unless you own the company and consider your employees family, an office party may not be your idea of a good time. Your usual strategy when nervous is to overeat -- but that won't make you feel better in the long run. Nor will confiding your secret fears to an office-mate, who may turn them into gossip. Take the focus off yourself and encourage others to confide in you.

Leo (July 23 to Aug. 22)
You love parties, Leo. No one's going to call you a wallflower -- in fact, you're usually the center of attention. Perhaps it's because of your flashy outfits or the witty, suggestive jokes you tell. This can work against you at the office party, however, which might seem like a lark but is often driven by politics. So save the joke about Brad's aphrodisiac for another crowd, and whatever you do, don't wear those red leather pants!

Virgo (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)
People think of you as cautious and reserved, Virgo. They don't expect to see a tiger emerge when you've had a drink or two. That

Virgo (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)
People think of you as cautious and reserved, Virgo. They don't expect to see a tiger emerge when you've had a drink or two. That's when you let down your defenses and go a little wild. This may not be a bad thing, unless you have an image to uphold. In which case it's better to play it safe and nurse a Perrier. Also, remember that this party is supposed to be fun, so resist the urge go over numbers or strategies with colleagues.

Libra (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22)
More than any other sign, Libra, you know how to charm the room. You'll bring the most scintillating bottle of wine, wear the classiest outfit and say all the right things to those who count. The problem is that others will hate you for it. Jealous of your seemingly perfect life or threatened by your superior skills, they will plot against you. Better to let down the fa?ade a bit, even tell a slightly off-color joke, to show you're one of the gang!


Scorpio (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)
You may be tempted to boycott the office party, Scorpio, because of that guy in HR who's got it in for you, or due to threats of impending layoffs. But that's all the more reason to show up, brandishing a smile and a good word for all. Wear your most festive holiday outfit (preferably not black!) and toast the team to affirm you're still on board. Just keep your sultry charms in check -- even an innocent flirtation could backfire on you.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
Your most garrulous side comes out at the holidays, Sagittarius. You delight in telling tales, debating issues and burning the candle at both ends. This behavior can quickly get you in trouble at the office party, however. What you find funny can alienate others. Religion and politics are strictly off-limits -- especially that hilarious 'Borat' quip! Minimize your drinking and count to ten before blurting out something you may regret.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)
Being "large and in charge" is fine during the workweek, Capricorn. That's what they pay you for, after all. But it could work against you at the party. So step down from your pedestal and mingle with the crew -- let your hair down and have a few laughs. Eschew the starched shirt or basic brown and wear something pastel -- even pink -- that brings out your softer side. And make your gift to the boss heartfelt, not just impressive!

Aquarius (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)
You've been an outsider most of your life, Aquarius. So when you find a person or group you feel a kinship with, you bond like glue. At this year's office party, though, rather than hanging out with the techies or those who speak your language, make an effort to reach out to the rest of the group. Otherwise, they may feel excluded or see you as snobbish. And, leave the cutting-edge outfit at home and wear something classy.

Pisces (Feb. 19 to March 20)
You truly care for people, Pisces. And you want them to know it. But the office party is not the right setting for lavish displays of affection or gratitude. When you've had a couple of drinks, you tend to get mushy -- saying too much to the wrong people, even accidentally leaking secret info. So switch to sparkling water after the first drink, don't spend too long talking with any one person, and be sure you're not the last one to leave.

Finally one that gets Libra right. I am amazed. It wasn't about some co-dependancy bullshit.

"-- saying too much to the wrong people, even accidentally leaking secret info."

i know, all that sacred CIA stuff! LOL* what's a fish to do?? 😉

Not sure about the Pisces one. I'm not sure that I would even know how to be mushy, who wants to waste time talking when you could be drinking. I'm usually the drunk chick dancing on the table or humping the furniture between dashing to and from the bar, until dragged unconscious from the scene.