Advice on Cancer boyfriend new behaviour

Looking for the opinion of Cancer men here please. Just want to know how to handle the situation I'm in at the moment. Whether I'm just being a worry wart as I am a Gemini and we tend to over think sometimes. ;P LOL!

So I??ve been dating a Cancer man for approximately 3 months now and things have been going very well. We have both been taking things slow as we both came from marriages and are firstly afraid of getting hurt and secondly don't want to rush into things to ensure we form a solid relationship and know each other well. We have lots of fun together. HOURS of great conversation. He lives almost 2 hrs away but makes the effort to come see me every days off which I greatly appreciate and have expressed that to him. So this past Wednesday when he came to spend time with me, he brought up me being his girlfriend to which I replied that I would really like that. So, we became official. But since the next day after I became his girlfriend he has grown a bit distant. The first 2 days after was nothing really new as he spent time with his family and enjoyed his days off which is perfectly fine by me as I encourage him to relax on his days off because he works really hard. And family is very important to both of us. However every day after that he has remained a little distant. He would still always find time to keep in contact with me. We used to talk all day and night. Especially if he was working and I was off, he would call and we would pretty much spend the whole day talking. Texting as well nonstop. It was almost to the point of being obsessive. This was not the case this time. At first he was still saying he misses me. Asking if I did too. Even acted a little jealous the day he left. He is still talking to me, calling me baby but he takes a long time to respond and we haven't really talked on the phone for about 3 days now. He also just doesn't really seem to want to talk much. Which hasn't been like him to date. His answers while still kind, are a little short. I am trying to just give him space but this is new behavior from him that I haven't experienced yet. He's acting very different and it is still going on. I just wonder if this is simply the natural progression of the relationship now that he feels secure in that I am his and only his? If he is pulling away and has had a change of heart? Or if he wants to break up and is waiting for me to do it? Or if I'm overthinking it as I mentioned earlier

Lol. I just had to respond when you said he feels more 'secure' practically like he can do as he pleases now that he has 'bagged' you!
I experienced this is friendship! Everytime he gets secure he does the disappearing act. And everytime he feels like i dont care he comes chasing!
Spare your heart and take care of yourself.

It's the natural progression of every relationship. He didn't disappear on you, but signalled that he want a sense of normality back into his life. If you want to talk nonstop, contact your female friends, one at a time.

Posted by Undine
It's the natural progression of every relationship. He didn't disappear on you, but signalled that he want a sense of normality back into his life. If you want to talk nonstop, contact your female friends, one at a time.

No need to get nasty at the end there as one with a little chip on ones shoulder sounds like they may have LOL! I understand this, but know HE is the one in constant contact wanting to talk or text. Not me. Which is why the shift took me off guard is all. So before you assume, please ask or perhaps don't get your feathers in such a ruffle about a simple statement that should be taken at face value. Just sayin. 🙂

I see where this is going so perhaps I should simply delete the post if I'm not going to receive any respectful responses from the perspective of a cancer male.

WHG take a deep breath. I have been in your shoes.
Just take care of yourself. Teach him how to treat you.

My advice was well meant, silly.

Ok thank you! I apologize, I've just been attacked on here before and got a little defensive. My bad

Much Love!

Love to you too. I actually replied because I like Gems and boyfriend is one of your kind.

Shame that no cancer men dare to answer.

I red about this cooling period from experts, and also experienced it to some extent. It makes sense, because the first months of dating are always very intense, to the point that friends, family, job and other obligations get almost neglected. It cannot carry on like this. It usually slows down when there is the promise of exclusivity so people can take a deep breath 🙂. Experts say that the "new" him is the "real" him.

The question now is how much do you like the "real" him and how will you manage what seems to be a long distance relationship (which brings other issues with it).

Cancer male here, Undine hit the nail on the head, pretty much.

Thanks Undine! Well then as you may know from your experience with Gems, we tend to fall into our own heads at times and this was kind of a self check for me of sorts as I felt myself going there. I have worked hard on trying to be mindful of myself and being self aware and I felt as though I was over analyzing. I also believe it never hurts to get an outsiders perspective.

I thought that this could be the "cooling period" as you called it, as well. But I have been hurt in the past and my head was saying to be cautious, was reminding me of my past (which can be good to do at times but in others can actually be counter productive to ones current situation). But then on the other hand my heart is telling me that my kind sweet cancer man was not trying to hurt me. And he is a man whom I have obviously grown quite fond of. I didn't want to let my head over rule my heart in this instance as I believe him to be a very kind, honest, gentle, genuine sweet man through and through to name a few of his wonderful characteristics. And I did not want to project my head muddiness onto him, if that makes sense? LOL!. I thought this may have been what I was about to do. And the last thing I want to do is cause him any pain or grief. Especially when he has done nothing wrong. And so, I checked myself. LOL! I am a little rusty in the dating area so trying to adjust and remain my cool calm collected self that I usually am. This "Love" thing sure can make a person step outside of themselves huh? LOL! Perhaps I should meditate on it a bit more and find my center.

It is long distance which does pose some obstacles however we have talked extensively about it and didn't think it would be something we could not handle. As mentioned we both value family and both have children from past marriage, and so this allows the relationship to grow slowly and for our children to remain centered in our own perspective lives. The idea, if the relationship should be something we both want to continue should be something that is slowly bridged together very delicately. We also think it's good that it has forced us to take things slowly, really get to know one another as individuals. Avoids the whole U-Hauling it situation too that a lot of people tend to do in that infatuation stage HAHAHA!!!

Anyhow, thanks for chatting, and the advice. 🙂

I hope that all made sense. At times What I mean to say and what I write aren't always the same thing LOL! I know what I want to say but expressing it in a way that others understand can sometimes be lost in translation. I get the Jumbled Gem Brain sometimes. 😉 LOL!

Cancer men r weird like that. U owned now....so he does have to still acquire u by showing interest.

Wait til the dissappearing starts.

U still new into this.....run....run as fast as u can or else try Co 10 and curcumin

Posted by cappygirl11
Cancer men r weird like that. U owned now....so he does have to still acquire u by showing interest.

Wait til the dissappearing starts.

U still new into this.....run....run as fast as u can or else try Co 10 and curcumin

Ignore this one. She has relationships in her dreams then dumps people for what they did in them.