Can I get a break?

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Bells93
@Bells93
11 YearsCapricorn

Comments: 0 · Posts: 195 · Topics: 22
Him: I need more attention.
Him: All the attention you give me is overwhelming.
Him: I wish you were more social.
Him: I hate when you're always making plans with people for us.
Him: I want a career and a marriage and a family.
Him: Stop talking about babies being cute, it freaks me out.

Him: I don't know what has made me change from when I was so affectionate until now. (this is after I expressed that I feel like I'm talking to an unemotional wall of nothing, and wish he was still the perfect Prince Charming he was at the beginning of our relationship)
Him: Maybe I'm falling out of love? Let's hope not.
Him: I'm sorry for putting you through this. At times I just feel like calling it quits because I feel like I'm doing more harm than justice.
Him: I still love and care for you. I just need time to bounce back.

Shoot. Me. Now.

He is a Cancer sun with a Libra moon, Cancer venus, Leo mercury.

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cancergoddess143
@cancergoddess143
11 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 4 · Posts: 711 · Topics: 6
Posted by Bells93
Him: I need more attention.
Him: All the attention you give me is overwhelming.
Him: I wish you were more social.
Him: I hate when you're always making plans with people for us.
Him: I want a career and a marriage and a family.
Him: Stop talking about babies being cute, it freaks me out.

Him: I don't know what has made me change from when I was so affectionate until now. (this is after I expressed that I feel like I'm talking to an unemotional wall of nothing, and wish he was still the perfect Prince Charming he was at the beginning of our relationship)
Him: Maybe I'm falling out of love? Let's hope not.
Him: I'm sorry for putting you through this. At times I just feel like calling it quits because I feel like I'm doing more harm than justice.
Him: I still love and care for you. I just need time to bounce back.

Shoot. Me. Now.

He is a Cancer sun with a Libra moon, Cancer venus, Leo mercury.



WOW, he sounds like me! I'm a walking contradiction, LOL Good luck!
In the end, just know that Cancers with a lot of fire and air sign placements are all walking contradictions. We are forever changing and adapting, then changing again. Our minds are running a mile a minute. In the event, our core is still true and sincere. All we want is love, affection, honesty, compassion and great sex. The rest is history 😉
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Bells93
@Bells93
11 YearsCapricorn

Comments: 0 · Posts: 195 · Topics: 22
Posted by cancergoddess143
Posted by Bells93
Him: I need more attention.
Him: All the attention you give me is overwhelming.
Him: I wish you were more social.
Him: I hate when you're always making plans with people for us.
Him: I want a career and a marriage and a family.
Him: Stop talking about babies being cute, it freaks me out.

Him: I don't know what has made me change from when I was so affectionate until now. (this is after I expressed that I feel like I'm talking to an unemotional wall of nothing, and wish he was still the perfect Prince Charming he was at the beginning of our relationship)
Him: Maybe I'm falling out of love? Let's hope not.
Him: I'm sorry for putting you through this. At times I just feel like calling it quits because I feel like I'm doing more harm than justice.
Him: I still love and care for you. I just need time to bounce back.

Shoot. Me. Now.

He is a Cancer sun with a Libra moon, Cancer venus, Leo mercury.



WOW, he sounds like me! I'm a walking contradiction, LOL Good luck!
In the end, just know that Cancers with a lot of fire and air sign placements are all walking contradictions. We are forever changing and adapting, then changing again. Our minds are running a mile a minute. In the event, our core is still true and sincere. All we want is love, affection, honesty, compassion and great sex. The rest is history 😉
click to expand




He is a walking contradiction! So indecisive. I would blame the Libra moon for that!! He seems better now. Not sure if mercury retrograde was affecting him more than I thought it would or what.
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StarMooney
@StarMooney
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 334 · Topics: 4
Lol, I think it could be a cancers normal indicision, phases of the moon and emotions and you may not be providing the reassurance he needs (hence the back and forth dance, maybe he wants you and those things but he's not so sure if you want him and those things too...your confusion comes from him subtly expressing what he wants and needs but them him taking it back because he didn't get te reassurance he needs from you). Maybe. Idk.
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Bells93
@Bells93
11 YearsCapricorn

Comments: 0 · Posts: 195 · Topics: 22
Posted by StarMooney
Lol, I think it could be a cancers normal indicision, phases of the moon and emotions and you may not be providing the reassurance he needs (hence the back and forth dance, maybe he wants you and those things but he's not so sure if you want him and those things too...your confusion comes from him subtly expressing what he wants and needs but them him taking it back because he didn't get te reassurance he needs from you). Maybe. Idk.



He is totally smothered with love and affection and nice gestures from me lol. So I understand when he says he feels overwhelmed sometimes. I think it's more of an internal battle he's having, trying to decide the perfect balance he needs in a relationship. Not sure!
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TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 177 · Posts: 2190 · Topics: 92
Posted by Bells93
Posted by StarMooney
Lol, I think it could be a cancers normal indicision, phases of the moon and emotions and you may not be providing the reassurance he needs (hence the back and forth dance, maybe he wants you and those things but he's not so sure if you want him and those things too...your confusion comes from him subtly expressing what he wants and needs but them him taking it back because he didn't get te reassurance he needs from you). Maybe. Idk.



He is totally smothered with love and affection and nice gestures from me lol. So I understand when he says he feels overwhelmed sometimes. I think it's more of an internal battle he's having, trying to decide the perfect balance he needs in a relationship. Not sure!
click to expand




obviously he doesnt know what he wants .. never blame urself for not givibg enough so-called reassurance .. that's bullshit .. a man in love wont wait for reassurance
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StarMooney
@StarMooney
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 334 · Topics: 4
^yes he will, men are logical and calculating. You'll almost never witness a man jump blindly into love like that, he will see where the woman is at first. Maybe in a perfect world, but in the real world men look for green lights before they actually act on their love. Just like they look for red lights or red flags before deciding to bounce out of a relationship with a woman. They are just way less expressive than women are in this process.

But OP, if it's not the reassurance factor then it's probably one of the other options I mentioned. If he's naturally indecisive then I think it'll be good to let him see what life looks like without you for awhile so he can come to a decision. Or if you're ok with it, just keep going with the flow and see what happens. I think they guy really likes you. Maybe even loves you. Indecision is not always a sign of someone not being interested or whatever the case. I think you're pushing him to positive change. But how long has this been going on?
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TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 177 · Posts: 2190 · Topics: 92
Posted by StarMooney
^yes he will, men are logical and calculating. You'll almost never witness a man jump blindly into love like that, he will see where the woman is at first. Maybe in a perfect world, but in the real world men look for green lights before they actually act on their love. Just like they look for red lights or red flags before deciding to bounce out of a relationship with a woman. They are just way less expressive than women are in this process.

But OP, if it's not the reassurance factor then it's probably one of the other options I mentioned. If he's naturally indecisive then I think it'll be good to let him see what life looks like without you for awhile so he can come to a decision. Or if you're ok with it, just keep going with the flow and see what happens. I think they guy really likes you. Maybe even loves you. Indecision is not always a sign of someone not being interested or whatever the case. I think you're pushing him to positive change. But how long has this been going on?



I understand that but if I'm reading the OP well.. they are already in a relationship .. I thinm he got enough green lights already?! Anyway I think I grew impatient with cancer guys.. never again
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StarMooney
@StarMooney
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 334 · Topics: 4
I feel ya. I think it takes a special kind of person to satisfy a cancer (who is equally just as special). I was in a relationship with a cancer man and even though I gave him reassurance (or so I thought...it wast the right kind of reassurance he really needed out of me)we still had similar problems. Being in a relationship is not even half of the battle, really it's just a title. You don't magically understand every vital thing about your partner or have great communication skills or have lock and key unions or moments when two decide to be committed (not even most married people are on this level). A cancer man or anyone for that matter can be in a relationship with someone and still not be satisfied and still not communicate that to their partner. And I think it's relevant to note that there are differing levels of reassurance and these levels are unique to each person/cancer and each couple/couple with a cancer in it. My sister in law is a cancer. My brother reassured her in almost every loving way (chivalry, communication, the whole 9!). But she separated from him because she didn't get the right TYPE of reassurance. They have two kids and she felt like my brother allowed our mom to overstep her boundaries as a grandmother and act more like a mother to their kids. She felt like my brother didn't love or respect her because he allowed our mom to step on her toes as a mother. Even though he gave her the most love I have ever witnessed him give someone (even our mother), she needed a different type of reassurance from him. And even though this seems odd, she was actually deeply hurt by that. She felt he disrespected her as a mother. And NO ONE (including my brother) knew that she felt so strongly about it until she lashed out. Granted, she needed to better communicate those things, but the point in all this is when dealing with a cancer, never assume you know their motives or their heart by looking on the outside or looking at relationship status or what you are currently doing. Cancers have really really deep feels and sometimes it's hard for the rest of is to really grasp that.
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StarMooney
@StarMooney
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 334 · Topics: 4
Yeah I know it really sucks and I think it's all silly. The thing is, she never communicated this (at least not bluntly). And she's a really decent person too, it's just that everyone has their own way of dealing with their shit. I never really noticed how disrespectful my mom was, but when I thought about it, I could see how she would be pissed about everything. But I do wish she would've made herself more clear.

But cancers really are good people. Just be good to them and they'll be good to you...most of the time. I guess.
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Nyxx
@phEnyxBull876
11 YearsTaurus

Comments: 0 · Posts: 477 · Topics: 17
The thing is, it takes an evolved Cancer to understand WHY they are going thru the phases they go through. Meaning, taking a look from the outside in, the way we see them. Until they reach that level of self understanding, theyre blindly riding their own emotional waves as much as the person that's with them. So if they can't see it, but the person with them can, and has enough love and patience and determination to keep being with the Cancer, its up to them to hold a mirror and help them out.

You can't learn how to be a better person without interacting with others. Cancers don't see the world outside of their shell unless you shove it in their face (kindly, of course! Lol).

So StarMooney's example is perfect... It's up to the Cancer to express what it is they need, and when they need it. Myself as an earth sign, I'm going to give you the same type of loving every single day...that's the stability in me. If you need something different, as a Cancer, during one of your phases, you need to speak up. But like I said, certain times of the month, after a few months, it gets easier to read...although usually for me, too late lol. If I could get AHEAD of the mood swing, that would be fuckin amazing! Lol.
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aquaninja44
@aquaninja44
11 Years

Comments: 4 · Posts: 168 · Topics: 5
Posted by Bells93
Him: I need more attention.
Him: All the attention you give me is overwhelming.
Him: I wish you were more social.
Him: I hate when you're always making plans with people for us.
Him: I want a career and a marriage and a family.
Him: Stop talking about babies being cute, it freaks me out.

Him: I don't know what has made me change from when I was so affectionate until now. (this is after I expressed that I feel like I'm talking to an unemotional wall of nothing, and wish he was still the perfect Prince Charming he was at the beginning of our relationship)
Him: Maybe I'm falling out of love? Let's hope not.
Him: I'm sorry for putting you through this. At times I just feel like calling it quits because I feel like I'm doing more harm than justice.
Him: I still love and care for you. I just need time to bounce back.

Shoot. Me. Now.

He is a Cancer sun with a Libra moon, Cancer venus, Leo mercury.



This sounds exactly like my cancer man 🙂 he scares me at times when he says stuff like that.
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TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 177 · Posts: 2190 · Topics: 92
Posted by caster721
Posted by TxOgal
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by IllaLupus
He is so contradicting x_x it would drive me up the ladder and out the window



LMAO! Cancer sun and libra moon or vice versa is just a total wreck of a man.



a man with cancer sun n any moon is a wreck actually lol..



Hey, that's an insult. Not good! Just because u couldn't make it work with one crab doesn't give u the right to make these kinda jokes ma'am!


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eaaasy .... did I step on your toes? ma'am! .. can't accept a joke? life's easier than that
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Bells93
@Bells93
11 YearsCapricorn

Comments: 0 · Posts: 195 · Topics: 22
Posted by StarMooney
^yes he will, men are logical and calculating. You'll almost never witness a man jump blindly into love like that, he will see where the woman is at first. Maybe in a perfect world, but in the real world men look for green lights before they actually act on their love. Just like they look for red lights or red flags before deciding to bounce out of a relationship with a woman. They are just way less expressive than women are in this process.

But OP, if it's not the reassurance factor then it's probably one of the other options I mentioned. If he's naturally indecisive then I think it'll be good to let him see what life looks like without you for awhile so he can come to a decision. Or if you're ok with it, just keep going with the flow and see what happens. I think they guy really likes you. Maybe even loves you. Indecision is not always a sign of someone not being interested or whatever the case. I think you're pushing him to positive change. But how long has this been going on?



It's been going on for months. We've been dating for nearly a year, just one month away from the year mark. I'm already starting to distance myself. He does love me, we're in a committed relationship and he took his time telling me that he does. I hope to think I'm pushing him to positive change, but it's so damn frustrating.
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Bells93
@Bells93
11 YearsCapricorn

Comments: 0 · Posts: 195 · Topics: 22
Posted by phEnyxBull876
The thing is, it takes an evolved Cancer to understand WHY they are going thru the phases they go through. Meaning, taking a look from the outside in, the way we see them. Until they reach that level of self understanding, theyre blindly riding their own emotional waves as much as the person that's with them. So if they can't see it, but the person with them can, and has enough love and patience and determination to keep being with the Cancer, its up to them to hold a mirror and help them out.

You can't learn how to be a better person without interacting with others. Cancers don't see the world outside of their shell unless you shove it in their face (kindly, of course! Lol).

So StarMooney's example is perfect... It's up to the Cancer to express what it is they need, and when they need it. Myself as an earth sign, I'm going to give you the same type of loving every single day...that's the stability in me. If you need something different, as a Cancer, during one of your phases, you need to speak up. But like I said, certain times of the month, after a few months, it gets easier to read...although usually for me, too late lol. If I could get AHEAD of the mood swing, that would be fuckin amazing! Lol.



I totally agree with evolved Cancers being able to understand why they go through phases..because he definitely does not understand it. I try to remain positive and help him understand in a kind and non-critical way. How else do I help him out to understand better?