cancer and aquarius... (Page 4)

i am feeling really good today about me and my aqua...i thought i would just share that with all of you!!! he has been super depressed lately b/c of work and other personal issues he is dealing with (one being a injury to his wrist...lol, unusualcancer!!!) and he tends to hibernate big time, physically and mentally, when he is depressed. yet, he has still been hanging out with me all the time and showing me a lot of love and affection even though he is going through a bad time right now. i am SO glad that he has not shut me out of his life during this down time, b/c he has done that in the past...
keeping me close during this time when he is super despressed just show how much loves me and how much he is growing up!

"he just didn't feel close enough to me to show his vulnerability when he had the injury...being weak and pretty much out of commission. Or maybe as Lady M says about Aquas...he just didn't want to bother me with his troubles."

Its both, we tend to think of our life as nothing special...how did the site put it "wrapped in a cloak of frivolty"...believe it or not, we are trying to spare you. We dont like to be burdened, so why do it to anyone else.

Also hibernation = stress. Thats how I deal with my stress (or lack of dealing)..I try and sleep it away and avoid it...thinking about the future over that particular hurdle. Its worked so far....

THats great MC, appreciate it while you can. Vulnerability doesnt come often 🙂

aqua's get SUPER jealous...they just hide it pretty well, or at least they try 😉

you cannot take anything they say or do too seriously... and do not take it to heart either. being a cancer, that is pretty hard to do...but if you want to make it work with mr. aqua you must learn to change that about yourself.

Jealousy doesnt last long, its like a twinge, then its gone...thats maybe why we dont claim jealousy.

Sometimes in place of jealousy is indifference...which is way worse...thats when we assess whether or not we like you enough. [this can happen when we feel your deliberately doing it]

Well have fun unusualcancer. 😛 If Mr Aqua knows what he wants or isnt really sure...he'll definitely know soon and go after it. We aquas dont know what we have till its gone...

"We aquas dont know what we have till its gone..."

-that's for sure!

good luck unusualcancer...may the best man win!!!

hey tas...what's the scoop? haven't heard from you in a while, so you must be busy working...right— have you spoken to miss cancer lately? i hope all is going well for you. good luck!

I'm actually falling for one right now....but I think its because of some of their scorpio qualities (I think an ascendant sun or moon sign is turning around some typical aqua traits). They love to spend quality time doing "couple stuff" and we have sex all the time. I've even baited them to give an easy aqua out like saying "wouldn't you find it SUFFOCATING for a couple to hang around each other that much"? And they've been like "of course not! I love doing things as a couple"

Best of all, they are very easy going and hate to argue....after dealing with a very frustrating and hard to deal with virgo, that is BLISS to me right now.

I think this one has a chance to work.

moonchild at last victory ! Just today confirmed my full time hiring at Pipex (big ISP) and trying to realize it ! I would immediately call my cancer to tell but have to wait due to time difference. Have to get organized, make a plan cause I have a tight 9-5 schedule now, have to issue monthly passes etc plus start to move things with my cancer, see if she will start (gradually) to resond. I guess I have to hold my enthusiasm, try to discuss with her in a bit friendly way although Im sure she expects me to start expressing my love, Ive always been doing it. I'm thinking of spending part of my first salary in issuing an open ticket and send it to her so she can visit me but darn its not the right time. Grrr many things to do, the difficult part is just started. Will keep you informed.

We just talked for around 5-10 min, was quite calm n friendly, she was the usual speechless but congratulated me. Then she immediately reminded me of her boxes 😢 Her reaction was not like a couple of times before when I told her about another job I was about to get and she even laughed. But again it might be due to cancer's mood. I think my next move will be to send the boxes and after that send her the ticket hopefully for christmas.

"I've even baited them to give an easy aqua out like saying "wouldn't you find it SUFFOCATING for a couple to hang around each other that much"? And they've been like "of course not! I love doing things as a couple"


-that is pretty interesting b/c a similar situation came up between my aqua and i the other day. i said to him, "don't you like me being a little unpredictable at times...not so much an open book." i also said, "isn't it good that we don't know everything about each other, b/c then it would be too boring."
and his response was that he thinks we should know everything about each other and that he doesn't want me to be unpredictable at all... go figure!!! i thought aqua's were all about going against routine, etc.

Thanks a lot moonchild hehe I did tell her proudly too, emailed today (she reads them of course !). Now trying to get used to the 9-5 patern and then to different shifts (even 8-4 grr). I do intend to keep on showing her proudly, hoping I will get an answer this time. Otherwise I will try to be more friendly and reduce the "love" words etc. I may dissapear for a while as I'm dead tired and sleep from 11 ! But as soon as I'm at my post after training has finished I will get used to it.

tas...actually that was unusualcancer that you meant to thank!!! but i am glad to hear you are doing better 🙂

oops thanks unusualcancer !
I like it at work, quite a long working hours though. First day was ice breaking, we got to meet each other (new comers) by filling a paper with stuff like favourite food, sign etc ! Most were Aries, some Scorpios and few Cancers but no Aqua 😢 Aries showing their leading abilities by taking part in every activity ! Scorpios were mysterious of course, suprisingly got friends with them first although I hate that sign ! Cancers and Leos were very cool, easy going and fun (though were late a couple of times and been told off). There's a Cancer lady with a bf, trying to talk to her see how she responds, u know kind of trying to understand my Cancer. Btw I don't feel so comfy around Aries, seem to attract all lights on them while I should be the socializing Aqua.

Hmm I think it's more of different rather than better. Well generally speaking there's always sthg better out there, eg someone nicer, a better neighbourhood, a bigger tv etc but if you in general suit with someone then you should work out the differences. Unless you're an aqua who (theoretically) wouldn't bother to breakup every time for sthg better/ideal. But again you're an unusual-cancer as your name states 🙂 However you made me wonder whether my cancer thinks the same way (I did have the non-communicative issue). Maybe that's why she double reads my emails even now but not giving me any hope. I remember her saying "you're clever and this and that and I liked this etc but blah" etc. moonchild any comment ?

as for me, when i am with someone that i am completely in love with, i don't ever wonder if there is something better out there. i do have my doubts at times within the relationship, but that is normal. and if i am completely unhappy i will leave the relationship before looking at what else is out there.

my aqua, however, wanted to see if the grass was greener and that is probably why he left me for another girl. and like you tas, he is not much of a communicator, which causes a lot of issues in our relationship. i always want to tell him how i feel if i am bothered by something and i want to talk it out...and he just wants to ignore it and forget about it. he does NOT know how to communicate. and he does not know how to face reality and stand up to certain issues and face them...so, my question to you is: how do i help him to learn to face reality and grow up in that sense? is it a lost cause—

i can understand where your cancer is coming from, b/c she is probably scared. i am back together with my aqua now, but i wonder all the time if he will leave me again or if he will run away when something goes wrong and he cannot handle it. she probably feels the same about you. and i don't have an answer for it. i think it is just a risk that you either decide to take it or leave it. there are no guarantees...especially with an aqua!!!

Hmm I'd say occasionally strong raw shocks of reality worked out for me. Sthg like what my cancer is doing now, making me hibernate and come back as a better person (don't forget aquas target to perfection/idealistic). I do tend to think idealistically many times which often is different than reality. But still I want to do it my way, the idealistic way, mixing if possible both worlds. Lack of communication in my case came because I was trying to solve or bypass problems that I didnt want them to interfere with my excellent relationship with my cancer (again trying to achieve the ideal but was kind of dreaming). Seems cancer think very differently, maybe she's really convinced it's too late now. But I guess her double reading my emails should mean sthg. How do u think I should approach her now that she knows I've got a job ? How to convince her to meet a brand new-communicative Tas ? Should it be casually letting her make a step or I should make a surprise ?

ok...my aqua is very similar to you. he is a perfectionist and when he does not do his best at something, he beats himself up over it...and it applies to everything, including our relationship. so when our relationship isn't going the way he would like it to, and it is not ideally perfect...he runs away from it, thinking that there may be something better out there. but each time, he comes back to me...

he, also like you, tries to bypass problems without communicating b/c he doesn't want to interfere with the ideal relationship...but i think it is best to be realistic and realize that communication is key in a relationship. and to bypass a problem will only create a bigger problem. so, how can i help him overcome that? is it useless— will you aquas always be idealistic and back away when any little problem arises— you must realize there is no such thing as a perfect relationship!!!

us cancers are probably quite the opposite in our thinking...we are realists that may come off as pessimistic...but we are just being realistic most of the time. we understand that problems occur and we feel things out and talk about them, etc.

and, my aqua also hibernates well!!! and each time he comes back to me, he is a better person...but how many times can he leave and come back? one day, i will not be able to deal with it any more, and i hope he realizes that!

i really think your cancer is scared to get back with you...you seem a lot like my aqua and i know that i am scared of him leaving me again...and that i horrible that i have to be in a relationship with someone that i fear may leave me again someday...it's not healthy at all.

I have heard that Cancer-Aqua are great sex partners.

yeah, i can account for that!!!

problem is...that is probably where aqua and cancer are most compatible...in the bedroom!!! in all other areas, it is a battle...

hey tas, i need your help!!! ...i have a situation...here goes...

i found a stack of pics in my aqua's room the other morning but they were sitting on a shelf in plain sight, so i did not go sneaking around or anything. i looked through them, and at the very bottom of the stack are pics of him and i together, on top of those were pics of him and the girl he broke up with me for last time (one pic of her laying in his bed where i sleep every night), and on top of those were pics of him and his ex girlfriend and also pics of him and his family, etc.

i have been very disturbed by what i saw and i don't know if i should confornt him about how i feel. and i am starting to think he left them out on purpose b/c htey never used to be out in the open like that...so did he want me to find them and say something— i don't know, but i am bothered by it...should i be?

Hmm I guess it depends, don't forget it's not only zodiac. My perspective (what I would or have done) is that he causes a misunderstanding while he doesn't meant to. I think you know why already (it lies in aqua personality): I personally value my good friends and gf (ie those in photos) so I do want to keep memories of them. It was mentioned before in that same thread sthg about an aqua's previous gfs and that you should not try to judge them (besides, there were other people in the photos eg parents).

Don't forget we tend to act unconventionally and that's why this may (justly) upset you. I had major issue with my cancer about similar importance like that as well. But it seems she could read me (we're open books after all) and she knew how to bring it into discussion (my participation at this is another issue!). But I never meant to lie, cheat or be sneaky and upset her.

Again depending on the person, however all aquas I've met are too honest and busy forward thinkers to fall into such cheap (for us) behaviour (hense open book).

A small update about me: I catch my self not being like an optimistic typical aqua for some time: quite unhappy although my new job started really great. Had told her and also had already my first payment. Now thinking of a way to do sthg open and great for her, maybe send her a flight ticket. It's maybe the most imporant time for your advice as any final action should be taken by the end of the year. As I've told you already she double checks my emails but acts like it's over. However dunno how she thinks now that I've got the job.

Should I send her boxes first (so that she won't think I'm taking advantage of that) and then talk to her ? Or as I said speak with actions ? It's great with my new job and new people I've met but true friends at work proved out to be rare, even more rare to find a gf to match, and she's my match. Looking forward for your reply, will relax this w/e, I need it !!

yeah, i have not said anything to my aqua about the pics...what i saw did hurt me, but i must realize the past is the past and i am the one he is with now. and i know he doesn't mean to hurt me or get me upset, but it seems to happen a lot...because what may not seem like a big deal to him actually is a big deal to me...and i wish he would understand that. we are very different in that sense, and it takes extra effort in the relationship to compromise and accomodate each others repects and requests...

i think you should send her a flight ticket, or do something BIG like that. maybe even propose to her (or is that far too crazy for an aqua!!!)...you need to make a huge effort to win her back if that is what you really want. you still have her boxes— and she has not asked for her stuff back? well, i guess that is a good sign if she does not want her stuff back right away...still leaves the door open. i think that if you send her the boxes, you may be putting closure on the relationship, in a way. i say take the risk and go all out and do something huge for her...at least then you will know where you stand with her!!! good luck...

Darn I feel bad for your situation, also because that's how my cancer must feel when she's in doubt about me/us and I'm really working on that, among others. Even if we meant to break up, I want to talk to her as it should be and as she deserves because (dunno about others but) I tend to always develop and I'm convinsed that this is a better timing for us. Anyway I'm already searching for a ticket (or any other idea). My sis (virgo) insted on talking to her first see how she feels now that I've obviously changed. I think I will go for sthg big, this is what I used to do and she always liked it. Keep in touch.

yes tas...it is tough b/c aqua and cancer think so differently and are affected by things in very different manners. i really believe that in order for it to work between the two, both parties MUST compromise and learn to understand and accept each other's differences. but i also believe that it is our differences that attract us to each other and make the relationship so amazing! so, there is a positive side to it as well.

my aqua still has doubts in our relationship though, and i must admit, so do i. he still questions my love for him, which to me is crazy!!! what more can i do to show him that i am absolutley in love with him— did you ever feel that way with your cancer? that she was not affectionate enough or didn't compliment you enough, or show you enough love? i really believe that it stems from my aqua's insecurities and that is something i cannot fix for him. i just wish that the doubts would go away... and for me, i have doubts b/c of the fact that he left me for another girl...otherwise, i wouldn't doubt anything between us...but it is hard after what happened...and i think it will take me a little while to regain complete trust and to stop doubting him...but i am trying realy hard.

i think that my aqua, like you, has developed over time and with each break up, he comes back to me a better person! i just wish it didn't take a break up for that to happen!!! i believe my aqua feels the same way you do...you said that you feel the timing is better for you two now...and i think my aqua feels that same way about us now that we have gotten back together. i don't know so much if it is a question of timing though...prob. more like a realization that has occured. maybe a realization that this is the right girl for you...hmmmm 😉

"I have heard that Cancer-Aqua are great sex partners."

Looneybird I'm seeing a cancer man who shares the same birthday for you except is a year younger than you. Do you find that cancer men have similar traits to you? I am very attracted to him and he is a beautiful lover. Any pointers you can suggest about what to do and what not to do to keep things harmonious and sexy with cancers, specifically the men?

Judging from my case they're not great sex partners, they're excellent sex partners 😉

my friends, are brother and sister, one is aqua and one is cancer........ they HATE eahcother.

yes, cancer and aqua do tend to be excellent sexual partners...i can second that!

tas...where are you? have you been keeping busy with work? how's your situation?

yep, varying and long shifts but it's fine, getting used to my position plus great socializing (I'm an aqua you see!). I've also found the air ticket for my cancer and if everything goes well I will post it this week she shall receive it early next week. Seems my plan finally will come to a conclusion and my agony will end soon. Hopefully in a positive way...

so, are you just going to surprise her and send her a ticket to see you— or does she already know about it... well, best of luck to you! i hope you get to see her for the hoidays and i hope it leads to another successful aqua/cancer pairing...

Sigh...you reminded me of the times when my cancer made some unsuccessful cakes/pies (most of the times just not self-raising) and was unhappy but I always ate them all. She was then happy like a kid ! Sigh...has been a month since I last called her but again she knows I'm trying to cope with my job. Anyway I've already posted the ticket to her together with a letter.

unusualcancer...he will appreciate the cookies!!! i have cooked for my aqua quite a few times, and he LOVES it when i do. and he also has a very healthy appetite, yet he also has the perfect body...makes me sick!

tas...so what was her reaction? is she going to accept the ticket and go to see you?

My dad used to call me the cookiemonster (not because I swore but because I devoured the chocolate chip cookies.) I sometimes wish the way to my bed was cookies... sigh guys have it nice. (And in no way shape or form am I anything other than great looking in my bikini.)

Seriously though he'll appreciate the sentiment. Good luck!

i have dated an aqau man and he seemed flighty but when you want to make a break their true feeling will come out and they will use their heart instead of their head. they are more sensitive than they appear.

i have dated an aqau man and he seemed flighty but when you want to make a break their true feeling will come out and they will use their heart instead of their head. they are more sensitive than they appear.

moonchild the letter with the ticket must be somewhere over asia now 🙂 this is the email I sent to her to have things moving with boxes so I can sent to her and here's reply:

"Hi Tasos,

Thanks for your mail. Do you think they will accept the signature on the passport? I mean there is my Dad's signature on the scanned passport page. Please let me know.

Thanks,

Rain




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Tasos Papadopoulos"
Reply-To: "Tasos Papadopoulos"
To: rainlau@hotmail.com
Subject: Fw: Boxes
Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2006 10:09:57 +0000


B
I'm forwarding the email I've sent from work but seems you haven't received, maybe it is received as a spam. "etc etc

I noticed it's not that formal as before (ie "regards" etc)
I intend to call her on friday regarding the boxes and if the ticket is already in her hands then I will have some news for you by saturday. Hold on line...

sounds like you are going to see her...good for you!
i am not in such good spirits today about my aqua bf. he has been very distant with me lately and i am having a bad feeling about his behavior. he is acting the same way as when he did right before he broke up with me last time. i just don't get it...what does it take?

looneybird said: I have heard that Cancer-Aqua are great sex partners.

I can vouch for that! Best sex ever...but the guy cannot communicate otherwise. Maybe if we'd had more time.

unusualcancer you're totally right. moonchild I really wish you can sort it out, I'm convinced now that the best way to have things moving with an aqua is what sinder said before and similar to what happened to me. If he comes back with his heart then you're more than half way there. As for me, I haven't called her yet about the ticket, this email was regarding the boxes, which as it seems I will sent back to her at the same time she receives my ticket! Will keep you informed...

i did have a talk with my aqua over the phone last night and i told him how i have been feeling...and he thinks that i have been acting weird with him and so he says that he has been on defensive with me b/c of it. he thinks that my tone of voice with him sometimes is too bitchy and he thinks that i make fun of him or look down on him...which i had no intention of ever doing or making him feel that way...so i apologized to him if that is how he felt, but i didn't mean for it to be that way.

i think his insecurities just get the worst of him, and so a lot of times he takes his insecurites out on me by being distant or criticizing me to make himself feel better. but after 2 1/2 yrs, he still thinks that i look down on him and that i would make fun of him...these are all insecurities in his head and my reassurance will never get rid of them. he must get rid of his insecurities on his own, and until that happend i don't know how we will ever have a healthy relationship. and it's like a vicious cycle b/c he gets insecure and then becomes distant with me which then makes me insecure, and what it comes down to is that we both love each other like crazy and we actually look up to each other, but our own insecurities allow us to bring each other down.

"If he comes back with his heart then you're more than half way there."

-well, his heart did bring him back to me, but now the insecurities are creeping back up and i am afraid he will run away again when they get the best of him...
how can i reassure him that my love for him is real and that i would never intentionally hurt him ever. i mean, i have taken him back into my life twice now... doesn't that say enough?

moonchild a small update: I called her at the office today, just to quickly ask her a detail so that I will send the boxes. I seemed rushing so it took me 1min only. However I had the feeling she wanted to talk ie she asked questions like how's my job, how's my friend doing (common friend of ours who's still with me here), she even laughed even though I was quite serious. Upon asking whether she has received any letter yet (the ticket) she said not !! I'm guessing she has received it already but not telling me and she's changing attitude to approach me. I've also found from this common friend that he can see her online now although she had blocked him too (remember she's blocked me first but still appears offline to me). I thought she should have the ticket by now so I dunno what to do now :-\

unusualcancer...that is the problem though, he has not grown up yet and he has not come into his own, and until he does i do not think he will be able to have a mature, committed relationship. but, i love the guy so it is not like i can just up and leave. it is a hard position for me b/c he is genuine and i know he loves me dearly but i think the timing is bad...he is just not ready and it seems that he is almost forcing himself to grow up and try to have a committed relationship with me...but he still wants to have fun and play...which is why he left me for that other girl. she was someone he could have fun with and not be serious with...she was a simple, "good for the moment" type of girl, and for him it was easy...with me it is a lot more complicated and real.