cancer and aquarius... (Page 3)

Hmm I dont have that much experience of that but I guess you're right (thats the only way). This is where the crutial question for me comes: would it mean sthg that she talks to you if she still doesnt care? Dunno if you've gone through mine and moonchild's posts but I'm sure my cancer can see me doing my best for us, I just hope cancer's need to attach to her man will make her reconsider. Are you like this or (dont wanna even think abt it) you change easily from hot to cold ?

Btw moonchild should be having the time of her life with mr aqua and seldom visit us 🙂

Hmm I dont have that much experience of that but I guess you're right (thats the only way). This is where the crutial question for me comes: would it mean sthg that she talks to you if she still doesnt care? Dunno if you've gone through mine and moonchild's posts but I'm sure my cancer can see me doing my best for us, I just hope cancer's need to attach to her man will make her reconsider. Are you like this or (dont wanna even think abt it) you change easily from hot to cold ?

Btw moonchild should be having the time of her life with mr aqua and seldom visit us 🙂

tas...sorry about not pm'ing you back. i actually had a very busy work week last week, and since my computer at home died on me a month ago, the only way for me to write to you guys on here is while i am at work! so, i am not ignoring you or anything like that. and my aqua has been out of town since last thursday, so i have not seen him or been hanging out with him...but we are still doing very well together!!!

unusualcancer... yes, i agree with you that if real love (from the heart)and caring are involved, the relationship between a cancer and aqua can last forever!!! i know that is true for my aqua and i... his love for me is very strong and vice versa...but he is scared by the love he feels for me b/c he has never felt that way towards any one else besides his family.

that's the problem with aqua/cancer...cancer girl needs excessive attention from aqua guy and aqua guy is unable to provide that. plus aqua guys like the attention focused on them...they love to be complimented and reassured constantly!

unusualcancer, very good advice...

Unusualcancer sorry to came back on that again but I just called my cancer and talked for 30min. It was mainly kind of a fight of her to show me it's over. I would really like to know, if she's a typical cancer, how would she react when this period of not letting go and giving chances ends ? Would she bother to talk-check my love emails (I know she does)-accept gifts ? I know she values security and stability but it's not that easy for me to find a permanent job nowadays >😢 And she said she can't forget my mistakes/can't mother me (actually quite mean on these) and she considered it over months ago. On the other side she initiated by asking her staff back a few months ago and since then (ok I admit I'm trying to delay as far as possible) she has been cruel but listening. I have the feeling I should contact her only when I've got the job so that she will be convinced. But on the other side she mentioned sthg like "you're self-improving for yourself, I don't care". Pleeeease some advice, anything even negative, moonchild where are you. I'm in the middle of my job hunting and this discussion almost finished me 😢 It's like she either doesnt care for me still chasing her or let me believe it's so, can't figure which one it is.

Well of course the job is first of all for me, the point of my post is to hear from another cancer because I'm sure there's still sthg there. Vanessa you're an aqua too and you know how easily we move from one thing to another. But with this girl I haven't been so much decisive on what I want. It's just that my weird aqua nature really hurted her and now trying to learn from it and avoid even further mistakes in the future. I'm telling you she reads all my emails, accepts my gifts, doesn't hang up on me and many othes although being negative. And I dont think she keeps me on a leash, it's just that cancers are very negative when hurt by someone (hence the shell).

tas...i have to agree with your cancer girl on this one. you need to work on your career, etc. for YOU, not for her...and it seems like you are doing what you can to please her and to win her back. but i think she needs to see that you are doing it for yourself, not to be back together with her...that is not the right reason. and maybe, once she sees you are improving your life and becoming a better person, she will consider letting you back in. it is the same with my aqua and i...i did let him back in, but i want to see that he is changing his ways for himself, not for me. i mean, i want the outcome to better our relationship, but more so i want him to feel better about himself. i think it is the same with your cancer. you are trying so hard to improve yourself in order to have her back in your life, b/c you know you messed up...but you need to do this for yourself. and then she will see the difference. maybe you two should cut off contact for a while during this process of working on YOU...then you can focus more on yourself rather than on her. it seems that you are very worried about what she is doing, thinking, feeling and you are doing all of this for her, and honestly i think she sees that and that is not going to get her back. this is just my opinion from what you have told me over many posts...
the fact that she had you send her stuff back scares me b/c it is a sign of closure with you. i told you that a few months ago...and i don't want to sound negative, just being realistic with you. i think that for now, there is closure...but if you do the right thing and work on YOU for YOU...she may find her way back to you one day, but it starts with you.

Darn how perfect a woman can be when she thinks so maturely and altruisticly like you and my cancer. You may not understand this but many times when a woman is really a special one, she can be the motivator that pulls off a man's best self, that he's not aware he's capable of. It's not sthg common especially nowadays. I may sound romantic or sthg but I guess I have to take the risk and do as you say. The risk of being on a break, send her things back as requested and then what ? Call her again when I have a great position within a company and see what she's doing as a friend ? Btw wish me good luck, at last an inverview after a long time, it's on Wednesday. I'm fighting with time not only to get into employment soon but to get to call her again soon.

personally, i think you should call her and talk as friends, like you normally do and let her know that you want to take a break from talking to her for a little while ...a month, maybe a couple months, however long you need to focus on you. but you must mean it and actually do it. now, if you are not ready for that right now, then you are not ready...but then it is also probably not the right time for you and your cancer to be together. it's all up to you really...are you ready to work on yourself and become a better person...only you can decide on that.
but, i think you should keep your distance for a little while...being an aqua, that shouldn't be too difficult for you 😉 i really think you will benefit greatly from having your own time to work everything out. and in the long run, she needs to see that. and if you take this time to work on yourself, eventually when you do talk to her...she will sense it just in your attitude and the way you act with her. you need to stop trying so hard to please her and start trying to please yourself, the outcome will be much more rewarding!!! really, it will...
good luck on your interview!

ok, jackdoniel...you are now scaring me!!!

but, besides raising the children...what was their relationship like?

Yes jackdoniel you need to give more details for such a serious allegation and many times people are not unbiased. So give us the details of the equation 🙂

hey tas...how's it going? any contact with ms. cancer, or are you taking a little time for yourself? let me know...

Exactly, I will follow your suggestions. If we're going to be back together again it will be on a new improved basis. That's what I can read from her attitude and I'm sure it's for the best.

I mean I know I want to succeed in the job I've chosen and in the place chosen to live so as soon as I'm ready (trying for the soonest) I will do sthg big for her (dunno yet, an idea spinning in my head is fly at her place, will see). I will contact her more rarely from so on, will find the reason for.

She's giving me the very last chance but very well hidden. I believe the only way that's totally cut me off is that she was not really in love with me (and I don't believe so). According to my sister there's no chance she would talk to me for an hour and accepts gifts if she's tottally cut me off. Hope she's right.

Now the train is already leaving, have to catch up, byyyye 🙂 See how positive I am as an aqua ? Btw my interview is for tomorrow, cross your fingers (and your toes :p )

tas...best of luck to you on your job interview!!! and even greater luck with your cancer gal 🙂...take it slow, and continue to work on yourself and focus on a better, more improved relationship!

hmmm...that sounds like a typical aqua/cancer relationship (ronald and nancy reagan)...
that is pretty much how it has been for my aqua and i... not smooth sailing from the beginning with a couple breaks here and there and dating others!!! ah yes, sounds very familiar.

like i have said before, i think aqua's like to test the one they love until they are sure that that person is right for them...and it takes a lot of testing until they are sure!!!

i would like to see that program about them...actually, i think nancy wrote a book that includes all of their love letters that they wrote back and forth to one another...i should read that one, and maybe it would help me get a little more insight!

i really do think that the aqua/cancer pairing is very fascinating though...aside from what astrology says, and how most people on here think about it...i really think it is a great match in the end. there are just a few obstacles to get through first, but hey that's life...right?

Putting aside astrology I would say everything would be worked out if I hadn't been so much free-spirited/aloof. And this because my cancer is really understanding but REALLY doesn't forget mistakes too. She said once 'I'm not your mother to forgive' and this made me worry cause it sounded mean and also confused cause I know how cancers like to mother ! But I know everything is for good and nothing lets me down 🙂 Btw interview was the best I had so far but have to compete 4 others. Keep you in touch.

i am glad to hear that your interview went well tas!!!
being an aqua is what makes you aloof and free spirited though, so you can't really discard astrology on that one... cancer and aqua's are completely different, but there is something there, something i can't explain that draws the two to each other...
if she doesn't want to be with you b/c you are too aloof or free spirited, well then it probably won't work for you two, b/c that is who you are. you two must compromise and accept one another for who you are, differences and all!!! that is the only way it will work.

"I'd like whoever I am with to be comfortable being who they are and not feel they have to make too many changes"

absolutely!!! and i would only want to be with someone who was with me for me...and can accept the good, the bad and the ugly...now, that's real love

moonchild said: "if she doesn't want to be with you b/c you are too aloof or free spirited, well then it probably won't work for you two, b/c that is who you are. you two must compromise and accept one another for who you are, differences and all!!! that is the only way it will work."

It's ironic and a shame that the aloof/need-time-alone part of us Aquas turns off Cancer...not sure about other Aquas and maybe it's because I've got lots of water signs in other planets, but usually when I'm being aloof it's because I'm insecure about something/someone and I need stay at arms length so people can't see I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve (e.g., so that people won't be able to see through me).....but that's just where Cancer excels....at empathizing, reading moods, comforting, nurturing people through those insecure moments...so if Cancer wasn't as sensitive to the aloofness, they'd see that we were just as sensitive at that moment.

JMHO. YMMV.

i think i need your help guys...

i was dating for an aqua guy for a month i think. (iam a cancer of course) he is a nice guy and as he said he enjoys my company. i am feeling the same for him. the other day, being a cancer woman, i had this mood swing. he called me as he is doing everyday..but that time i am not on the good mood but i still talk him. he was asking me what's the matter and told him nothing ( as it is the truth, im feeling sad for no reason ).i asked him why did he call then he said dont you want to call you anymore and i told him if he will not call me, i will miss him. he told me that he is going to call me later after his activilty. he said he is going to have a nap. and answered him "ok:. so i expected him to call. waited for his call until 12:00 midnight as his activity will finish by that time. we normally do this. but he didnt call. so i texted him but didnt answer. sometimes i admit that im being pushy and he knows that. he said its ok with him. then i tried to call him but he didnt answer. so i was feeling so sensitive and sent him sms saying "whats wrong again? does it mean you would only talk to me if you want to then you you wont if you dont want to talk". this happens the other night and until now i didnt get any from him. Yesterday night i couldnt fall asleep so i decided to text him asking for apology coz i think i might upset for what i said. until now he is not replying. i admit i find this difficult. what should i do now? how can i get him back?? this sounds that im being desperate but im missing him already. im afraid of calling him again coz it might drive him away... please advise me...

You need to calm down and chill out, or he will leave for good. We dont like drama, especially a mood swing for no reason...this is irritating.

Well, answering for the total of posts not individually, I should be wrong, aloofness shouldn't be the problem. I mentioned she was understanding and she also had her times too (cancer mood). I'm sure it's her seeking for security that is no1 importance for cancer and she couldn't see it 100% in me. And yes I sensed some form of bossy attitude during our relationship but 1.most of the times she was right, we would both profit and 2.she wouldn't reject my wants and we were working things together (live and let live).

Just one more thing: Her attitude now doesn't differ from the past. She so convincingly lets me believe she's not interested that I'm really amazed by her shell. And no matter the reason I started posting here, I know what to do to win her back, it's just that if you don't know her (cancer) well, you may easily presume that she 100% mean what she says.

PS Irrelevant: did anybody experience any problem accessing the website?

Related to jackdoniel's last post: She knew I wasn't affraid, on the contrary we had some fights for things she wanted/asked for and I was totally against. Your post though made me thing, for the first time, what if it won't work because of HER. And by this I mean what if she turns to a possessive mother? I mean they say cancers are mother-born signs, not like the rest of the usual people that, in opposition to cancers, they try to know how to became good parents. Moonchild a question for you 🙂

i feel that i am very nurturing, emotional, empathetic, etc...however, i do believe that if i were to someday have children with my aqua...he would be the better parent by far. i have seen him around kids (mostly my 2 little cousins) and he is wonderful with them, and i have no doubt in my mind about how great of a father he will be one day. he also helped raise his sister's kid from when he was a baby, so he knows what to do. i am not saying that i will not be a good parent, but he seems much more excelled in that area than me.
i tend to be more nurturing towards my friends and those that i love. for example, i am very motherly towards my aqua when he is hurt, sick, or just not happy. i AM his security blanket...he comes to me for nurturing, so in that sense i am good at that.

as far as bossy or controlling...i am neither. jackdoniel stated that his mother had the "my way or the highway" attitude...well i am the complete opposite of that. i am very mellow and laid back for the most part...although i do have my moments of being a bitch (what woman doesn't). i never tell my aqua what to do or try to boss him around...and plus, i know that even if i did it would never work. he is your typical aqua...he hates being told what to do or how to do it!!! he would just rebel even more against that type of attitude thrown at him. but, that is not me at all...

All true moonchild, you just caused me a flash-back to my cancer :-\ Darn the way you suggested is hard, wanna call her already. Dunno if they say cancer-aqua is not a match but seems only right to me day by day. It depends on the individual too, for another aqua she might not be so special. But objectively speaking by natural flow of my life, I realize every day that we can be an ideal couple if I can be the security she seeks, the man of this couple. From that time onwards she can be all what you said about the security blanket etc and both may have our space because of the "live and let live" and moody attitude.

tas...why is it so hard for you aqua's to be a man— it seems the same with my aqua. i am always the stronger one, the one that does all the compromising and the one that pulls through...and on top of it i am his security, his safety net. whew...it is a lot of work to be with an aqua!!! but, i love him dearly and wouldn't trade it in for anything else...
but, just curious as to why you are like this...

What is important is that he (AQUA man) didn't have some BIG love before he started dating u !I he had some1 and he lost her there's noreally a hope that he'll love again with the same passion!I'm goin thru that and it hurts so much.My bf is so undecisive...he wants to be with me but at the same time and think he'ssuffering cuz of his ex (they were together for 3,5 yrs) so yea and then she cheated on him and got a baby with that other guy and he still wants her its just really really weird!
But oh well

What is important is that he (AQUA man) didn't have some BIG love before he started dating u !If he had some1 and he lost her there's not a big chance that he'll love again with the same passion!I'm goin thru that and it hurts so much.My bf is so undecisive...he wants to be with me but at the same time he's suffering cuz of his ex (they were together for 3,5 yrs) so yea and then she cheated on him and got a baby with that other guy and he still wants her its just really really weird!I mean after all why to be with a nice girl that luvs and cares about him when u can be with some h** that betrayed him! Some ppl just luv to learn it on the harder way !
But oh well..time heals it all!

i agree with you cat86. i have loved an aqua before this aqua guy i am dating now. i thought he would love me the same as i loved him. at the beginning yes, he is giving me much attention. but when he knew how much i loved him, oh i didnt get what i want. he couldnt love me as much as i love him. he had this past and afraid to love that way.

with your comments moonchild, yes i have the same question with tas. why is it hard for an aqua to be man. why is it if they have feeling something its hard for them to express it. you always have to read whats on their mind. they will just keep quiet.

oh by the way, this aqua guy i am dating now, he called me already yesterday. i didnt ask anymore what happened (as he didnt call me for couple of days). i just pretend nothing happened and still enjoying even without him. he was asking me how have i been for the past days. and i found out that he was going out alone and stayed only in the apartment. while me i kept on thinking what is wrong. its unfair right. yesterday evening, i sent him sms to thank him for the call and said goodnight. but no reply. anyway, i think i have to let him on what he wants. even i am missing his companionship but he is giving me headache.

tas, you are an aqua right? do you think what should i do to get him back? aquas are difficult to understand...

What is important is that he (AQUA man) didn't have some BIG love before he started dating u !I he had some1 and he lost her there's noreally a hope that he'll love again with the same passion!

SAD, but TRUE. We never forget our first loves...and dont let it end badly or by their hand because aqua men PINE FOREVER...nor do they ever love as good again. Sorry the next has to suffer, but its how they operate...BITTER is more like it. But never fear, there is hope...be stable and you'll be fine.

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Agreed

Lady_M your 6:12 post was just great 🙂 Especially the 'passion' and 'pine...love as good again' parts. It's 100% how I feel now while dealing with people, including girls, I feel she's my chance and I must NOT loose it. And this because tending to judge objectively (hence aqua coldness) I can just see she differs, is my type and any problems between us can be solved (hence aqua idealisticness). Now you see why I 'pine', I don't have to compromise with her and I do hate compromising.

As for the 'next' gf I guess she should be at least as good to his standards as his ex, if not better. The prior is not stated in a selfish way, I had good standards=high hopes from her as a female, that made me really respect her. And definitely watch your comments on his ex (either gf or friends) because his choices in them are always not random and he values them a lot. As unusualcancer said be stable for a smooth transition.

tas...what is the status with you and miss cancer— just curious...

Sound interesting, need to make some time to read it though :-\

moonchild what do you mean by status ? We're middle class, not rich 🙂 If you mean whether we're still together well it's an unclear situation. You know my story.

tas...i was just curious as to whether you have spoken to her lately or not. and how about your job situation...how is that going for you—

No phonecall (we discussed why) just regular meaningful emails that I know she opens. In my last email I forwarded her my interview confirmation with a company called Raindrop (her name is Rain, remember?).

Currently I'm working (temporary job) as a field IT technician (I've studied Computing), its exactly what I wanna do in full-time. Then my regular job-seeking activity (we have a saying that babies are all eat-poop-sleep, well I'm apply-eat-poop-apply-sleep !!). I have to have a result soon before she totally changes her mind.

Memory flash back: She mentioned during two of our recent discussions/arguments that "... I mean you're clever, funny and cute but...", complements in other words but why now? I take it as a good sign behind her hard shell, a small hint to urge things. Any moonchild-type comment ? 🙂

yes, unusualcancer...that sounds like a typical aqua. when things aren't going so well for them, they must "hibernate" for a while!!! and the fact that he said, "if you have time for him"...wow, that is exactly something that my aqua would say. kind of shows their insecuritites.

what is your status with each other? are you two just close friends, dating, exclusive with each other...— just curious...

Oh how we love those silent understandings...

yeah, he sounds just like my aqua...needing to take a "break" when things get a little rough for him. although, i believe that we needed our 4 month break from each other...it helps to reevaluate what the other person really means to you...
this is the case, especially for aqua's!!!

i kind of think that is why aqua guys aren't very successful with relationships... b/c they want everything to be perfect and if one little thing goes wrong, they are OUT!!! they constantly need reassurance that everything is going to be alright within the relationship...or else they start to get scared and run. and they put so much pressure on themselves that they lose concept of the actual meaning of a relationship and the "big picture".
my aqua guy tries to be this perfect person with everyone, and he does not want anyone to see his flaws, even if it is the smallest flaw. and he is so worried about pleasing everyone and being the "perfect" friend to everyone, that he forgets about himself. i have seen a lot of his flaws, only b/c i have been so close to him for a few years now. but i still, to this day, have to reassure that i love him, flaws and all!!! and that it is ok to not be this perfect person all the time 😉

"Last time I saw him, we had a conversation about that where he says he's trying to learn that just because you can't do EVERYTHING perfectly, doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all or shouldn't try."

Im learning that too. Im basically good at everything I try, but if im not I dont persue it at all.

You two arent in a relationship yet, he has a reason to fear rejection. Were different, thats why you all love us...so his emails are just apart of his flair.

But cold you further explain what your asking.

"It takes him a looooonnnng time before he will come straight out and ask if I want to do something specific with him...he tries to get me to ask him"

-oh my gosh...that is too funny b/c that is EXACTLY what my aqua does with me, even after 2 1/2 years of being together!!! he will call me and ask me what i am doing that night about 3-4 times, and then finally i am like "did you want to do something tonight?" ...i don't understand why it is so difficult for him to just come out and ask me to hang out with him, but he just can't do it.

YES...my aqua always brings up going somewhere or doing something weeks ahead of time, but never formally invites me or asks me to go along until the last minute...wierd!!!

We dont like making decisions for other people...free will is important to us. But its true thats usually the way I ask people to do things with me. I make them think it was their decision...also we dont want to bother you...if your busy or just dont want to go.

If you come on your own, your less likely to complain, become bored, etc...

Its as to not take responsibility in a sorta way...idk...possibilty of rejection also....

hahaha, I hope ya get it.

yes, lady m that makes perfect sense 🙂