Cancer and forgiveness

Hi I am a 33 yr old Aries sun Gemini Moon Woman. I have been friends with a Cancer sun Aries moon guy who is also 33 yrs old for roughly 7 years now and it has always been a "special" friendship. I have talked to him about everything, he is someone I trust completely. It wasn't a FWB situation but for someone who is an introvert we have had some pretty dang crazy stories and conversations that go into the TMI category which I will spare but it's always been friendly. Up until Thanksgiving and everything kind of took a turn. We ended up cuddling, kissing, and things continued to the bedroom. We both have been single for years. I had a crush on him for years and he shared something that caught me off guard. Nothing to do with feelings but that he has thought about doing things to me and with me in a intimate way for years. He also told me that I need to come over more, that I can have dinners, and hang out, my son should come over and that it doesn't have to involve the bedroom. But if I want to cuddle and spend the night thats fine too. I was overjoyed by everything I was hearing but also confused. Cancer is very cautious I know this so I was confused by what everything meant. And being the brash Aries that I am a week later I came right out and asked him what everything meant. But the way I went about it got me the claws of the Cancer guy. He thought I thought that it was going to be him getting me in the bedroom and that he was going to dip out on me. I knew it was a misunderstanding but he didn't want to listen to me. So a couple weeks went by and he just totally iced me out. I was left on read for literally everything. I am a Train Engineer and I told him we a Train derail and that didn't even trigger a reply from him. So finally today I went and knocked on his door. I forced him to talk to me. I explained everything and I apologized for hurting him, and asked for his forgiveness. Told him I do understand how it appeared to him but that isn't how I meant it to appear. That seemed to work but he is still distant but he is talking to me again. My question is do Cancers actually forgive? I know once you hurt them emotionally it can be hard to regain trust and stuff. Could the fact that we spent several years growing a friendship save whatever happened or is it always going to be awkward now? Even if nothing goes back to cuddles and kisses I am OK with that, I have spent years with exactly that. He is someone I tell everything too, he is my special friend who has always accepted me for who I am, and not for who they want me to be. Our friendship has always been easy. I'm just so completely confused.

He told me I hurt him because he isn't the kind of guy that was going to get me in the bedroom and dip out on me. I know that isn't who he is. That fact, that I trust him is why I allowed everything to happen. I just wanted to know what everything that was happening. What everything meant now because I didn't at all think that he thought of me anything like that for years and because I have been in a situation in the past where I was hurt being on a different page. I guess I just need to hear back from other Cancers about what they think. He told me "Let's just get back to where we were." Which I don't know even know what that means is that just being friends is that cuddles? I don't want to end up in a situation to where he isn't talking to me again over a misunderstanding.

"So a couple weeks went by and he just totally iced me out. I was left on read for literally everything."

Some friend.

with friends like these who needs enemies

I'm still not clear on what you said that was wrong. Anyhoo, I'm more impressed that you're a Train Engineer. Can I ride?

I would focus on yourself and give him FOMO

Posted by RedRising1989

@LilBloodRose

It sounds like your Cancer man went into his shell. Cancers don't like being accused of things that they didn't do or being someone that they're not so it sounds like his feelings were hurt, which you already seem to be aware of. In my experience Cancers also have a habit of disappearing or distancing themselves for awhile to see how much you care; like if you notice their absence and reach out, etc. Cancers can be forgiving but at the same time, I don't think they forget. Their perception and feelings for you can change if you hurt them. Cancers are stronger than most people think. They have to care for most things to affect them, that is why a lot of the time they take the things that their partners say personally even if that is not their partners intentions. Cancers are good at managing their emotions. They can act like they're fine and be stabbing you in their brain so all I can tell you is to try and have open and honest dialogue with your Cancer man.

I explained that it was a misunderstanding and when I went and knocked on his door to have a face to face conversation with him I talked specifically about that to him. Explaining how him blowing up on me hurt me because the way he originally viewed the original message which was basically wanting clarification but in the way I speak which was "what does everything mean?" The message wasn't received in the same tone I had thought I sent it. He knows my personally so I do believe, he believes me. He also told me that he knows I care about him. He had surgery this year and I have been checking on him and asking if he needed anything, I have been listening to his struggles and his worries which hasn't been much because he is a private person but I do know a lot about the stress he has been in this past year. I even offered to help him renew the tags on his Jeep and that we he could pay me back once he was back to work and I wasn't worried about the money and I knew what he was going through. So there wouldn't be any pressure in paying me back right away. I just wanted him to be able to keep his Jeep and not have it towed on him but he of course didn't take the offer. But he knows I care about him, I have showed it a lot this past year more than other years because he isn't from my state, all of his family is two time zones away.

Posted by geminiflyby

"So a couple weeks went by and he just totally iced me out. I was left on read for literally everything."

Some friend.

I hurt him. I understand that I did and how I hurt him. He really is a great person.

Posted by Maxian

There's nothing more you can do, you explained and apologized... you have to ride this out and let him come to you.

Does this Cancer man want more than a friendship? I'm confused...

If that's the case, not really sure if you can just go back to being friends. It will take some time.

Honestly, I am confused too which is what caused this situation. Right now I am just being me which is sending him funny stuff and letting him be him which is currently moody. But he is replying back to me now.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Ummmmm he sounds like a little bitch.

You were simply asking for clarification.. not making accusations. There is a difference. Ironically he says that it “hurt” his little baby feelings that you would think he would hit then quit it.. then ironically turns around and ices you out over some petty misunderstanding?

I hope he doesn’t condition you over time to walk on egg shells to protect his delicate little ego.

All of this was very out of the blue for him. He has had a rough year though. He had been out of work from February to September because of a back surgery that he is still on restrictions from. He blew through his savings and has been depending on his brother who is his only family member here in our state. He is from the East Coast which is two time zones away from us. His union currently has him on desk duty and he is a welder. He doesn't like being in the office. I understand why his mood is down. He isn't normally like this but this year has been hard on him.

So many excuses for his bad behavior. You don't want advice. You won't even hear it. Good luck with your special friend! He really is special.

Posted by geminiflyby

So many excuses for his bad behavior. You don't want advice. You won't even hear it. Good luck with your special friend! He really is special.

Because I am not interested in trolls. I know what he did and I know what I did. Neither one of us is innocent in what happened. I have known him for 7 years. He has been listened to me vent over guys, he has listened to me through my dad's death, my mom's 2nd round of Cancer and her Suicide attempt, his dad's death, my battles with my teen son, and his surgery. We have history this isn't your basic friendship. We have been close for years.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by LilBloodRose

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Ummmmm he sounds like a little bitch.

You were simply asking for clarification.. not making accusations. There is a difference. Ironically he says that it “hurt” his little baby feelings that you would think he would hit then quit it.. then ironically turns around and ices you out over some petty misunderstanding?

I hope he doesn’t condition you over time to walk on egg shells to protect his delicate little ego.

All of this was very out of the blue for him. He has had a rough year though. He had been out of work from February to September because of a back surgery that he is still on restrictions from. He blew through his savings and has been depending on his brother who is his only family member here in our state. He is from the East Coast which is two time zones away from us. His union currently has him on desk duty and he is a welder. He doesn't like being in the office. I understand why his mood is down. He isn't normally like this but this year has been hard on him.

It’s good that you are empathetic toward him but don’t allow him to punish you for his bad days and don’t overextend yourself trying to earn his forgiveness over a petty misunderstanding that you’ve already apologized for.

click to expand

I won't. I am empathetic. I am just doing me and letting him, do him and see if he comes back out of his shell.

Posted by ImperfectStormThe message wasn't received in the same tone I had thought I sent it.

I’ve had multiple misunderstandings via text message convos with the Pisces that I am dealing with until I recently told him no more serious conversations over text message. It’s exhausting really… texting really leaves too much room for taking things out of context because you can’t hear the other persons tone.

Ya, I had tried to call him first that night. I should have just waited.. I mean he let me knock on his door unannounced and force a talk between us and there wasn't any fighting, so I do see that as a positive sign. He still insisted that there wasn't a misunderstanding and that he wasn't mad at me..... I told him I didn't believe he wasn't mad. But I laid down on his couch opposite of him because he was laying down too because his back hurt he had just gotten back from work and looked at him upside down and very sweetly said please start talking to me again. One good quality of mine is, I can be hard to stay mad at if you know me well. He also laughed at me for totally failing at throwing his dogs toy down the hall.

Posted by Maxian

Posted by LilBloodRose

Posted by Maxian

There's nothing more you can do, you explained and apologized... you have to ride this out and let him come to you.

Does this Cancer man want more than a friendship? I'm confused...

If that's the case, not really sure if you can just go back to being friends. It will take some time.

Honestly, I am confused too which is what caused this situation. Right now I am just being me which is sending him funny stuff and letting him be him which is currently moody. But he is replying back to me now.

I've read up on the rest. You've done more than enough. He doesn't have a monopoly on pain and gets to use you as an emotional punching bag when he feels like it.

When did all the intimate stuff start to happen? When he got difficulties with the job? Cause then he's just escaping his issues with all the new stuff.

click to expand

Thanksgiving was when it started so very recently. But it was like 180 from before because I have been pretty use to liking him in secret. So it shocked and confused me which is why I wanted clarification quickly on what was going on. Maybe I should note that a few years ago something similar happened and the women ended up ghosting on him.

Posted by LilBloodRose

Posted by geminiflyby

So many excuses for his bad behavior. You don't want advice. You won't even hear it. Good luck with your special friend! He really is special.

Because I am not interested in trolls. I know what he did and I know what I did. Neither one of us is innocent in what happened. I have known him for 7 years. He has been listened to me vent over guys, he has listened to me through my dad's death, my mom's 2nd round of Cancer and her Suicide attempt, his dad's death, my battles with my teen son, and his surgery. We have history this isn't your basic friendship. We have been close for years.

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You have remarkable accountability and understanding

Foreign to the folks who are ‘sperging out lol

He is your friend before anything else, and he’s having a shitty year according to you, right? He’s been solid the 7 years you have known him. Healthy distance with visits is definitely what the guy would need to smash his shell and get back from below zero. If I had to rely on a family member’s hospitality because I'm pathetically incapacitated, I’d be despondent as fuck. I’m a skilled trade worker as well, it’s not an industry that’s friendly to back injuries.

Something else that I should add is that he was keen on making sure that I knew he wanted me to come around more outside of the bedroom stuff. When we were cuddling afterwards he told me that he wanted me to come over more, have dinner with him and his brother, have my son come over more, he has known my son for years. That it didn't need to be bedroom stuff and made a point to make sure I knew that. So I do think it was a concern for him and I am not exactly sure why. I know he had a girl ghost on him a few years ago but we never talked in detail so I don't know if that played a role or if it was something else from his past that I am not aware of. Because he drove the point home several times and when I asked for clarification and he blew up on me it was over that. That he isn't a guy who is going to have fun with me and then dip out on me. Which I didn't think he was going to dip out on me. I just wasn't sure what to think of what was going on. I don't know what to think of what is going on. This is the first time he has even ever yelled at me. We have never fought before. For a month he completely fell off the face of the Earth right after his surgery and I was really worried about him because he just completely disappeared. I would send him a message every few days. He probably had like 20 messages from me and he never got mad at me for that. He actually apologized when he came back around and explained that he was just focused on his thr recovery from the surgery and getting his back to the point to were he could return to work.

Posted by KimboSlice

Posted by LilBloodRose

Posted by geminiflyby

So many excuses for his bad behavior. You don't want advice. You won't even hear it. Good luck with your special friend! He really is special.

Because I am not interested in trolls. I know what he did and I know what I did. Neither one of us is innocent in what happened. I have known him for 7 years. He has been listened to me vent over guys, he has listened to me through my dad's death, my mom's 2nd round of Cancer and her Suicide attempt, his dad's death, my battles with my teen son, and his surgery. We have history this isn't your basic friendship. We have been close for years.

You have remarkable accountability and understanding

Foreign to the folks who are ‘sperging out lol

He is your friend before anything else, and he’s having a shitty year according to you, right? He’s been solid the 7 years you have known him. Healthy distance with visits is definitely what the guy would need to smash his shell and get back from below zero. If I had to rely on a family member’s hospitality because I'm pathetically incapacitated, I’d be despondent as fuck. I’m a skilled trade worker as well, it’s not an industry that’s friendly to back injuries.

click to expand

A very shitty year. I have been worried about him all year because I know how important working and being able to care for himself is. He has overcame a lot in life. He has a history from before I knew him. It took years for him to tell me what his history really was and I will not share his history but he has a criminal record just for context. If you knew him now. You would never guess that he did the things he use to do. I know he isn't that person anymore. He has turned his life around so much and he turned it around before I ever meet him. I know he feels worthless. He has never said those exact words to me but I can tell that is how he feels. He hates being in the office, he calls it his skirt. As a joke I sent him pictures of kilts and told him even skirts can be manly. I recently before we got into the fight got a flat tire and he felt worthless than as well. Your blue collar. You know that a man who can't do anything manly will feel worthless. I know that is what is going on with him. I know that he is why he is moody and not himself. Like I said this is the first time we ever fought and I was able to easily get him to talk to me again once I forced him to talk to me because he can't ignore me when we are face to face. But he is still distant.

So your excusing him ghosting you because one time way back when a girl ghosted him? I don’t understand that logic.

Posted by LadyNeptune

So your excusing him ghosting you because one time way back when a girl ghosted him? I don’t understand that logic.

He ghosted me because he is a Cancer and when they are hurt, they go into their shell. I knew I hurt him. I knew that was why he ghosted me and I forced him to talk to me. I literally showed up at his front door knocked and walked in and forced him to talk to me and he stopped ghosting me after that but he is still distant with me.

One thing I do not like about this is everyone accusing him of stuff or accusing me of excusing his behavior. I ripped into him pretty hard. Even ended up calling him childish for totally icing me out when he wasn't talking to me. I am an Aries after all. One thing I am great at is talking and calling shit out. One thing he isn't great at is talking about his emotions and he is very private. Everything I know about him is because he was there for me when I was going through something hard and he shared his stories with me to make me feel better. I am explaining exactly who he is. My question is will he stop being distant, will he actually be able to forgive me? I don't even care about the bedroom stuff. I want to keep my friendship with him. I just found out my mom has Cancer for the 3rd time today, I am still dealing a son who is lying to me all the time, and my Grandma is getting ready to go through multiple surgeries to reinforce every bone in her body. Of all the bad timing in the world for him to become distant with me right now is not a good time because he is the person who helps me through all of my rough patches in life.

I have a pretty crappy relationship history as well. I am 32 with a 14 yr old son. His father was extremely abusive. I have walls up because of my exs' in life. If I didn't completely trust this Cancer Man with my life and my son's life I wouldn't have slept with him. Period. I wouldn't have put myself in that position. I knew I wasn't a one night stand he was VERY direct on making sure I knew that. He mentioned it after we slept together, he mentioned it the next day, and he was hurt when we got in a fight because the thought that I thought that he was going to sleep with me and dip out on me. That is not a man that you want to push away in life. It's not just his words, it's the actions that happened afterwards. I hurt him because he thought I thought that he was going to dip out on me. When I asked him clarification what I wanted to know was if there was going more going on that I didn't know about. He doesn't talk about emotions, so I still don't know where I stand with him. That's why I came here for insight on what the hell to think about all of this and it just seems to confuse everyone as much as me because no one is taking into count that he is a Cancer man. Cancer is ruled by the moon. They are moody by nature. They are very in touch with their emotions by nature, they are fragile with a shell that they hide in by nature. They are nurturing by nature. I am an Aries woman. I am brash, I am very direct and I am loyal when the person is deserving of it. The whole reason why him and I can even remotely work the way that we do is because I understand how Cancer men work but I am not a Cancer, I am an Aries so I wanted to hear from other Cancers or people who know how Cancers work. We are literally talking Cardinal Fire and Cardinal Water. And he is a Cancer sun Aries moon so he even has Cardinal Fire and Cardinal water within his own self. I know he is strong, but he is still a Cancer man.

Posted by LilBloodRose

Posted by geminiflyby

So many excuses for his bad behavior. You don't want advice. You won't even hear it. Good luck with your special friend! He really is special.

Because I am not interested in trolls. I know what he did and I know what I did. Neither one of us is innocent in what happened. I have known him for 7 years. He has been listened to me vent over guys, he has listened to me through my dad's death, my mom's 2nd round of Cancer and her Suicide attempt, his dad's death, my battles with my teen son, and his surgery. We have history this isn't your basic friendship. We have been close for years.

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Trauma Bonding

Posted by LilBloodRose

Hi I am a 33 yr old Aries sun Gemini Moon Woman. I have been friends with a Cancer sun Aries moon guy who is also 33 yrs old for roughly 7 years now and it has always been a "special" friendship. I have talked to him about everything, he is someone I trust completely. It wasn't a FWB situation but for someone who is an introvert we have had some pretty dang crazy stories and conversations that go into the TMI category which I will spare but it's always been friendly. Up until Thanksgiving and everything kind of took a turn. We ended up cuddling, kissing, and things continued to the bedroom. We both have been single for years. I had a crush on him for years and he shared something that caught me off guard. Nothing to do with feelings but that he has thought about doing things to me and with me in a intimate way for years. He also told me that I need to come over more, that I can have dinners, and hang out, my son should come over and that it doesn't have to involve the bedroom. But if I want to cuddle and spend the night thats fine too. I was overjoyed by everything I was hearing but also confused. Cancer is very cautious I know this so I was confused by what everything meant. And being the brash Aries that I am a week later I came right out and asked him what everything meant. But the way I went about it got me the claws of the Cancer guy. He thought I thought that it was going to be him getting me in the bedroom and that he was going to dip out on me. I knew it was a misunderstanding but he didn't want to listen to me. So a couple weeks went by and he just totally iced me out. I was left on read for literally everything. I am a Train Engineer and I told him we a Train derail and that didn't even trigger a reply from him. So finally today I went and knocked on his door. I forced him to talk to me. I explained everything and I apologized for hurting him, and asked for his forgiveness. Told him I do understand how it appeared to him but that isn't how I meant it to appear. That seemed to work but he is still distant but he is talking to me again. My question is do Cancers actually forgive? I know once you hurt them emotionally it can be hard to regain trust and stuff. Could the fact that we spent several years growing a friendship save whatever happened or is it always going to be awkward now? Even if nothing goes back to cuddles and kisses I am OK with that, I have spent years with exactly that. He is someone I tell everything too, he is my special friend who has always accepted me for who I am, and not for who they want me to be. Our friendship has always been easy. I'm just so completely confused.

I've been with a Cancer man for a long time (I'm an Aries woman), and what I've learned over the years is, we have different style s of communicating, and often times the meaning of something has gotten lost in translation, which has caused confusion. I think you were being sincere in asking him what he meant, as you have a right to. Maybe he thought the delivery was an accusation instead of clarification? Based on what you're describing, I believe it was probably just a miscommunication. I hope you two work it out, you both seem like genuinely nice people. And yes, to answer your question, they do forgive lol. Just give him space and time, it will work out. Cancerians are attracted to people that are transparent about how they feel-I'm sure he knows your intentions are good.

Congratulations to your first serious argument in 7 years! I understand your need to break the silence by having a face to face talk. As for going unannounced…how could you announce it, if he wasn’t taking your calls? I bet he expected you to turn up in person, stop blaming yourself.

As I understand, you two are still friends, he reassured you about it. I think he got scared he made a huge mistake by crossing the line, and thought you were expecting more in the future. This is not what he proposed to you….it wasn’t a FWB or a romantic relationship, but friendship with some blurred lines that include non-sexual human touch and homely comforts. Tbh, I don’t see how that was going to work, if you “like” him and would probably get frisky during his cuddles.

Give him space to process what happened, and I think you need the same! To a stranger like me, it seems that stirring this friendship-trauma bonding into a romantic or sexual direction is not going to work.

The question is if you can go back to what it was before. Maybe you two crossing the line was a sign that “the old” has run its course? Or that he realised he needed a GF, not just a BFF, and that GF was not going to be you? How would you deal with, if any of these were the case? Maybe taking a bespoke break from interacting with each other would help you see things clearly!

Posted by LilBloodRose

Posted by LadyNeptune

So your excusing him ghosting you because one time way back when a girl ghosted him? I don’t understand that logic.

He ghosted me because he is a Cancer and when they are hurt, they go into their shell. I knew I hurt him. I knew that was why he ghosted me and I forced him to talk to me. I literally showed up at his front door knocked and walked in and forced him to talk to me and he stopped ghosting me after that but he is still distant with me.

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His date of birth is not why he ghosted you. Stop excusing his bad behavior on astrology. Or do, it’s your time.

Him being distant is a big f u to your 7 years of friendship.

Posted by Undine

Congratulations to your first serious argument in 7 years! I understand your need to break the silence by having a face to face talk. As for going unannounced…how could you announce it, if he wasn’t taking your calls? I bet he expected you to turn up in person, stop blaming yourself.

As I understand, you two are still friends, he reassured you about it. I think he got scared he made a huge mistake by crossing the line, and thought you were expecting more in the future. This is not what he proposed to you….it wasn’t a FWB or a romantic relationship, but friendship with some blurred lines that include non-sexual human touch and homely comforts. Tbh, I don’t see how that was going to work, if you “like” him and would probably get frisky during his cuddles.

Give him space to process what happened, and I think you need the same! To a stranger like me, it seems that stirring this friendship-trauma bonding into a romantic or sexual direction is not going to work.

The question is if you can go back to what it was before. Maybe you two crossing the line was a sign that “the old” has run its course? Or that he realised he needed a GF, not just a BFF, and that GF was not going to be you? How would you deal with, if any of these were the case? Maybe taking a bespoke break from interacting with each other would help you see things clearly!

Just because I like him doesn't mean I have to be his girlfriend. I am fine with nothing romantic happening between us. He is one of my closest friends and I was scared I was going to lose that. I value him, I appreciate everything he has done for me.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by LilBloodRose

Posted by LadyNeptune

So your excusing him ghosting you because one time way back when a girl ghosted him? I don’t understand that logic.

He ghosted me because he is a Cancer and when they are hurt, they go into their shell. I knew I hurt him. I knew that was why he ghosted me and I forced him to talk to me. I literally showed up at his front door knocked and walked in and forced him to talk to me and he stopped ghosting me after that but he is still distant with me.

His date of birth is not why he ghosted you. Stop excusing his bad behavior on astrology. Or do, it’s your time.

Him being distant is a big f u to your 7 years of friendship.

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🤦🏼‍♀️

Posted by PoshChickenLove1111

Posted by LilBloodRose

Hi I am a 33 yr old Aries sun Gemini Moon Woman. I have been friends with a Cancer sun Aries moon guy who is also 33 yrs old for roughly 7 years now and it has always been a "special" friendship. I have talked to him about everything, he is someone I trust completely. It wasn't a FWB situation but for someone who is an introvert we have had some pretty dang crazy stories and conversations that go into the TMI category which I will spare but it's always been friendly. Up until Thanksgiving and everything kind of took a turn. We ended up cuddling, kissing, and things continued to the bedroom. We both have been single for years. I had a crush on him for years and he shared something that caught me off guard. Nothing to do with feelings but that he has thought about doing things to me and with me in a intimate way for years. He also told me that I need to come over more, that I can have dinners, and hang out, my son should come over and that it doesn't have to involve the bedroom. But if I want to cuddle and spend the night thats fine too. I was overjoyed by everything I was hearing but also confused. Cancer is very cautious I know this so I was confused by what everything meant. And being the brash Aries that I am a week later I came right out and asked him what everything meant. But the way I went about it got me the claws of the Cancer guy. He thought I thought that it was going to be him getting me in the bedroom and that he was going to dip out on me. I knew it was a misunderstanding but he didn't want to listen to me. So a couple weeks went by and he just totally iced me out. I was left on read for literally everything. I am a Train Engineer and I told him we a Train derail and that didn't even trigger a reply from him. So finally today I went and knocked on his door. I forced him to talk to me. I explained everything and I apologized for hurting him, and asked for his forgiveness. Told him I do understand how it appeared to him but that isn't how I meant it to appear. That seemed to work but he is still distant but he is talking to me again. My question is do Cancers actually forgive? I know once you hurt them emotionally it can be hard to regain trust and stuff. Could the fact that we spent several years growing a friendship save whatever happened or is it always going to be awkward now? Even if nothing goes back to cuddles and kisses I am OK with that, I have spent years with exactly that. He is someone I tell everything too, he is my special friend who has always accepted me for who I am, and not for who they want me to be. Our friendship has always been easy. I'm just so completely confused.

I've been with a Cancer man for a long time (I'm an Aries woman), and what I've learned over the years is, we have different style s of communicating, and often times the meaning of something has gotten lost in translation, which has caused confusion. I think you were being sincere in asking him what he meant, as you have a right to. Maybe he thought the delivery was an accusation instead of clarification? Based on what you're describing, I believe it was probably just a miscommunication. I hope you two work it out, you both seem like genuinely nice people. And yes, to answer your question, they do forgive lol. Just give him space and time, it will work out. Cancerians are attracted to people that are transparent about how they feel-I'm sure he knows your intentions are good.

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I asked for Clarification and he basically went off and it was because it was received differently then I meant. Then a couple more messages went by and eventually he told me to believe whatever I wanted to believe and that's when I said 'Cool, I am someone you had sex with. Your not giving me anything to go off of so I don't know what to believe.' And THAT is where I fucked up. He took it as me accusing him of sleeping with me and dipping out. I meant it as we had sex now what is going on? He could have literally told me anything and I would have been cool with it. The fact that he didn't and still hasn't told me any kind of hint is the confusing part. He said 'Let's just get back to where we were' ane I'm like deal! Which I am assuming is close friends which is basically what we have always been. I didn't think he was my FWB or my boyfriend. That's why I asked him for clarification.

Posted by PoshChickenLove1111

Posted by LilBloodRose

Hi I am a 33 yr old Aries sun Gemini Moon Woman. I have been friends with a Cancer sun Aries moon guy who is also 33 yrs old for roughly 7 years now and it has always been a "special" friendship. I have talked to him about everything, he is someone I trust completely. It wasn't a FWB situation but for someone who is an introvert we have had some pretty dang crazy stories and conversations that go into the TMI category which I will spare but it's always been friendly. Up until Thanksgiving and everything kind of took a turn. We ended up cuddling, kissing, and things continued to the bedroom. We both have been single for years. I had a crush on him for years and he shared something that caught me off guard. Nothing to do with feelings but that he has thought about doing things to me and with me in a intimate way for years. He also told me that I need to come over more, that I can have dinners, and hang out, my son should come over and that it doesn't have to involve the bedroom. But if I want to cuddle and spend the night thats fine too. I was overjoyed by everything I was hearing but also confused. Cancer is very cautious I know this so I was confused by what everything meant. And being the brash Aries that I am a week later I came right out and asked him what everything meant. But the way I went about it got me the claws of the Cancer guy. He thought I thought that it was going to be him getting me in the bedroom and that he was going to dip out on me. I knew it was a misunderstanding but he didn't want to listen to me. So a couple weeks went by and he just totally iced me out. I was left on read for literally everything. I am a Train Engineer and I told him we a Train derail and that didn't even trigger a reply from him. So finally today I went and knocked on his door. I forced him to talk to me. I explained everything and I apologized for hurting him, and asked for his forgiveness. Told him I do understand how it appeared to him but that isn't how I meant it to appear. That seemed to work but he is still distant but he is talking to me again. My question is do Cancers actually forgive? I know once you hurt them emotionally it can be hard to regain trust and stuff. Could the fact that we spent several years growing a friendship save whatever happened or is it always going to be awkward now? Even if nothing goes back to cuddles and kisses I am OK with that, I have spent years with exactly that. He is someone I tell everything too, he is my special friend who has always accepted me for who I am, and not for who they want me to be. Our friendship has always been easy. I'm just so completely confused.

I've been with a Cancer man for a long time (I'm an Aries woman), and what I've learned over the years is, we have different style s of communicating, and often times the meaning of something has gotten lost in translation, which has caused confusion. I think you were being sincere in asking him what he meant, as you have a right to. Maybe he thought the delivery was an accusation instead of clarification? Based on what you're describing, I believe it was probably just a miscommunication. I hope you two work it out, you both seem like genuinely nice people. And yes, to answer your question, they do forgive lol. Just give him space and time, it will work out. Cancerians are attracted to people that are transparent about how they feel-I'm sure he knows your intentions are good.

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I should have been more thoughtful of what I was saying. I wasn't slowing down and thinking. If I had taken a second to think I would have realized that he was concerned about me thinking he was using me for sex. It wasn't until after I said it that I realized how badly I fucked up. Because he made a point to try to reassure me that he wanted me around without the sex. And he brought it up when I knocked on his door and forced him to talk to me. That really hurt him.

Posted by DMV

Posted by LilBloodRose

Posted by geminiflyby

So many excuses for his bad behavior. You don't want advice. You won't even hear it. Good luck with your special friend! He really is special.

Because I am not interested in trolls. I know what he did and I know what I did. Neither one of us is innocent in what happened. I have known him for 7 years. He has been listened to me vent over guys, he has listened to me through my dad's death, my mom's 2nd round of Cancer and her Suicide attempt, his dad's death, my battles with my teen son, and his surgery. We have history this isn't your basic friendship. We have been close for years.

Trauma Bonding

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Your saying that like it's a bad thing? Not everyone has had prefect lives. The people you want to keep in your life are the ones have stick around through everything because you know they are genuine and true friends. I don't keep fake friends around, it's too much drama.

Posted by LilBloodRose

Hi I am a 33 yr old Aries sun Gemini Moon Woman. I have been friends with a Cancer sun Aries moon guy who is also 33 yrs old for roughly 7 years now and it has always been a "special" friendship. I have talked to him about everything, he is someone I trust completely. It wasn't a FWB situation but for someone who is an introvert we have had some pretty dang crazy stories and conversations that go into the TMI category which I will spare but it's always been friendly. Up until Thanksgiving and everything kind of took a turn. We ended up cuddling, kissing, and things continued to the bedroom. We both have been single for years. I had a crush on him for years and he shared something that caught me off guard. Nothing to do with feelings but that he has thought about doing things to me and with me in a intimate way for years. He also told me that I need to come over more, that I can have dinners, and hang out, my son should come over and that it doesn't have to involve the bedroom. But if I want to cuddle and spend the night thats fine too. I was overjoyed by everything I was hearing but also confused. Cancer is very cautious I know this so I was confused by what everything meant. And being the brash Aries that I am a week later I came right out and asked him what everything meant. But the way I went about it got me the claws of the Cancer guy. He thought I thought that it was going to be him getting me in the bedroom and that he was going to dip out on me. I knew it was a misunderstanding but he didn't want to listen to me. So a couple weeks went by and he just totally iced me out. I was left on read for literally everything. I am a Train Engineer and I told him we a Train derail and that didn't even trigger a reply from him. So finally today I went and knocked on his door. I forced him to talk to me. I explained everything and I apologized for hurting him, and asked for his forgiveness. Told him I do understand how it appeared to him but that isn't how I meant it to appear. That seemed to work but he is still distant but he is talking to me again. My question is do Cancers actually forgive? I know once you hurt them emotionally it can be hard to regain trust and stuff. Could the fact that we spent several years growing a friendship save whatever happened or is it always going to be awkward now? Even if nothing goes back to cuddles and kisses I am OK with that, I have spent years with exactly that. He is someone I tell everything too, he is my special friend who has always accepted me for who I am, and not for who they want me to be. Our friendship has always been easy. I'm just so completely confused.

Wow..this sounds like a duplicate of my situation. At least your friend is giving you some contact. I think it may also be that these cancerians find it hard to move on. Perhaps he is still cut up about the ex that had ghosted him?