Cancer male friend mirroring my every move?

So if you’ve read some of my questions, I recently got together with a man (40 yrs old Cancer) whom I’ve been friends with for ten years and two weeks after this found out he was on tinder / going on dates. I have also been living in his house now for two months (I’m now am gainfully employed, going well thankfully) He understands that I expected this to be monogamous relationship but of course accepts no responsibility for this kafuffle.

Since we stopped sleeping together (about one month ago – obviously I was heartbroken at the start and still care for him but am getting more comfortable with the fact that we are not a match), he’s been playing the game of mirror. For example, if I say I’ll be working late a few days, he works late for two weeks. If I go to bed early one night and we miss each other, he goes to bed early / ignores me in the evening for two weeks. I’ve been very busy recently and the one night we were both free I asked him to go out for a walk and he said now. This probably sounds insignificant but he never ever says no to me, has gone out of his way to get home early since I moved in, and has always been there for me as a friend.

I thought he was going in his shell and gave him his space and ironically he just pulls away more?! I’m confused.

He could help me a lot in my career, so my brain is telling me that I should keep him close, but I’m finding it very difficult emotionally, it’s draining me out.

My natural response would be to move out as soon as I can and cut him out and just never speak to him again. But I’m trying to “cut people out” less….so is there any point of maintain this friendship or should I run?

Another example is he used to tell me what time he's getting home (this is even before we hooked up) and I would cook or we would cook together all the time before I worked. Now that I'm working and trying to get back in shape (three kilos down, woohoo!!) Now he just comes in at like 9pm saying he's been "at work from 7am to 9pm" which is very unlike him (used to work with him, do not believe it for a second)

if you loose this guy , you suffer more later ... You are just good in move fast , but you are not good in move for good. You make waves .. and him just swim.. remember, you will suffer later..

Posted by Finbuff
My guess PureAries is, you are too direct for him, and he has withdrawn. This Aries match is fraught with conflict for us Cancers, as I have studied it over the years and months. Cancer is too easily "wounded" by the direct nature of Aries with regard to intellectual matters. Although the physical directness of Aries is greatly appreciated and helpful, and accounts for a great deal of the original attraction, you can't spend your whole life naked, in physical contact, there's so much more. You still need to get along with the business of life, payments, budgets, homes, all types of decisions that require an intellectual "meeting of the minds". I'm not certain this is possible with this match. There's too much intellectual difference between the two. I'm trying to be very objective here because I'm dealing with my own Aries prospect right now as well. I just don't feel very confident about this match, at least not enough to bet my life on it.

I really agree, and as I mentioned don't think we should be together (although it is painful to admit that), but we are living together. Is there any point trying to save this friendship?

New development: Yesterday he came in in a huff, quite late again, I knew something was wrong, barely said hello. Came into the lounge while I was watching TV and didnt acknowledge me. Then I go to the kitchen to get a glass of water before bed and he weirdly asks me to watch a movie without looking at me. Once I agree, he drops the bombshell - he wants money.

Now just a bit of background:
A-I have been asking him for his banking details for a month to transfer him money for bills.
B-When I moved in he only wanted me to pay half the electricity and gas bill. I offered to pay the whole thing.

I mentioned that I'd been trying to get his banking details and he starts to try to pick a fight, calls me names, and spoke to me in a very disrespectful / annoyed tone. I just went to my room. Where does this behaviour come from?

I looked at the bills this morning, and they're overdue from APRIL, at which point I wasn't even living here, plus he wants me to pay more then the two agreed.

Again, back to the original question,is there any point in me discussing this with him? Can I save this friendship?

He tends to badmouthing people - how can I preserve my reputation?

Posted by goligold
He is going on dates while you are together...drop him!

+1 - that's why we stopped seeing each other romantically but unfortunately I still live in his house.

If you haven't signed any actual paperwork re lease or living arrangements and you feel this may turn into some kind of financial mess
pay him what you think was originally agreed or fair, pack you bags and exit.
Space first. Issues and 'relationship' secondary.
But that's just how I would roll... Good luck missy
I personally loved living with Cancer male in the past, but I think he may have been a little more mature than this particular case.

Do you know his rising sign?

Mirroring and serial dating sound more like Libra and Scorpio behavior.

He sounds like he could have Borderline Personality Disorder.

Posted by PureAries

Posted by goligold
He is going on dates while you are together...drop him!

+1 - that's why we stopped seeing each other romantically but unfortunately I still live in his house.

click to expand

I had a man like this before - not cancer man. He was a taurus. We lived in the same house. I left. I cannot deal it emotionally. Same thing He dropped me a msg where and what time he came home. We cook together. Gosh, This is BS to me.

If you still have love for yourself. You deserve better. Pain is Inevitable. Suffering is Optional.