Cancer man in control

My boyfriend and I have an age difference of 5 years, him being older. I'm a leo woman and I love him so much. We got along so good until he demands more affection from me on our 3 month being together. I thought I was being affectionate but I was never on top of him, and he wanted to be close than we were and I didn't always do things he wants. He was always the one doing everything. He became distant and its been six months I'm the one always to give in now because I want him back and I don't want to fight with him. Then I started to think maybe he likes someone else because his mood changes all the time. I started to check up on him at work and I start to get jealous over stupid things. I don't know what it is with him and I don't get him. We see each other almost 24/7. I do so much for him than I should but I sometimes I want to be babied also. I feel like I give more than I receive and i have no problem with that because i want to be with him. Sometimes though I want him to give in to what I want, just little things that I want but he stays on being in control. I know its not about being in control but why is he being such a jerk? Like nothing matters but him and his ways. I don't know if he still wants to be with me or not? is that why he is being this way? am I trying too hard to with him? Also, he said that I talk about relationships so much, i complain and ask too many questions. He told me to try not to be this way and everything will be so much better for the both of us. But the minute I said I will try it if that is what will make everything better. He then told me he will not call me on his way home.(he always call me on his way home) why is he changing the things i like about him? and I am willing to change my ways that he didn't like? that's confusing. So I don't know what I should do. I'm a pretty good person to get along with because I like people to be happy around me but why is he being like this? Aren't cancer man supposed to be nurturing?

He then told me he will not call me on his way home.(he always call me on his way home) why is he changing the things i like about him? and I am willing to change my ways that he didn't like? that's confusing. So I don't know what I should do. I'm a pretty good person to get along with because I like people to be happy around me but why is he being like this? Aren't cancer man supposed to be nurturing?

You are headed down a dead end road! Period. You are giving more than you are recieving so, you are putting your relationship in an emotional deficit! You are wanting to please HIM, instead of letting the relationship balance. If he is not going to treat you the way you want to be treated let him GO!

I think that you should sit down with him and both of you all should discuss what is going on, what you want to change and what you are/arent satisfied with. If you can't reach an agreement or see eye to eye then you should let him go. Sometimes you just have to be adult about things, open up and talk face to face, revealing your desires and concerns unabashedly...either he can deal with it or not and go from there. We can only give you advice based on out own experiences and ideas, but thi sis your relationship and you know all the small details. Most of yall you really know whether its over or not, deep inside, so just decide to stop ignoring that and decide if the relationship is worth a fight.

Again,
Summer,
U can take advice and opinions from any one of us. WORDS R 4 WOMEN! ACTION IS 4 MEN!

Men don't take to words from us women much. You cannot woe a man over by WORDS! You can try to talk his ears off. MOST men, distance themselves from this simply because this is not what he wants to hear. You can SHARE some feelings with him in SMALL amounts, but, don't overdue it. Show him with YOUR actions that you are not settling for LESS than what you deserve, and if this is ALL he has to offer you. BYE! NEXT! Keep that attitude with you, with ANY man in your life, and YOU will see GREAT results. I know how you feel, you are a Leo and yes Leo's LOVE GIVING, but giving at the wrong time, to the wrong man, is not what YOU really want is it?

I BET YOU REALLY LOVE him, and if you want to KEEP him, tell him that you are OK! You want to share a thought with him! And let him know that you feel like you are giving more than you are recieving. DON'T GIVE A CANCER MAN a ultimatum. NEVER! Just let him know that you like recieving just as much as he does. If he IGNORES you like I am sure a CANCER man will. Let it go. He will pick up!

My boyfriend and I have an age difference of 5 years, him being older. I'm a leo woman and I love him so much. We got along so good until he demands more affection from me on our 3 month being together. I thought I was being affectionate but I was never on top of him, and he wanted to be close than we were and I didn't always do things he wants. He was always the one doing everything. He became distant and its been six months I'm the one always to give in now because I want him back and I don't want to fight with him. Then I started to think maybe he likes someone else because his mood changes all the time. I started to check up on him at work and I start to get jealous over stupid things. I don't know what it is with him and I don't get him. We see each other almost 24/7. I do so much for him than I should but I sometimes I want to be babied also. I feel like I give more than I receive and i have no problem with that because i want to be with him.

ReRead your posts.

What has happened here is he gave to YOU first. He woed you over and showered YOU! If probably did this for a couple of months. Now, YOU OWE him, and the reason why he is distant, is because he knows that YOU LOVE him, and YOU will do ANYTHING to get him back to being that PERFECT man, that YOU fell in love with. YOU are a LEO! Wake up here. This is game. He is going to RESIST everything YOU do from here on out. SImply because YOU are showing him to much interest. Most LEO women ARE desirable. Be desirable! He is distant because he knows that YOU want him to be a certain WAY! That is what he percieves your GIVING nature as. The more you want him to be a certain way, the more he is going to resist until you have given him ALL that you will be able to give. Let him go, and don't give him ANY reason to RESIST your love.

thanks for everyone's input. It helps a lot but I'm just so devastated about our situation. We used to get along so good and i really miss that. I have not spoken to him since the other day. I miss him a lot but I AM always the first one to call whenever we fight and I'm not going to do that now because I know that I'm right. He isn't treating me the way he used to. I've had talks with him about all my issues but it doesn't go anywhere.

thanks for everyone's input. It helps a lot but I'm just so devastated about our situation. We used to get along so good and i really miss that. I have not spoken to him since the other day. I miss him a lot but I AM always the first one to call whenever we fight and I'm not going to do that now because I know that I'm right. He isn't treating me the way he used to. I've had talks with him about all my issues but it doesn't go anywhere....

I KNOW and talking and talking and talking is not going to get you ANYWHERE esp not with a CANCER man. With a Cancer man, less = more. The less you talk, the more you will get out of him. Yeah, I know you probably got along well, but now he is taking you for GRANTED because you have let to much out of the bag, WAY to soon. No, don't call him. YOU should not initate ANYTHING! Let him call you, initiate the EVERYTHING even the committed relationship that you want. He WILL NEVER change. It is his ways. SO, you change your ACTIONS and watch him change his ACTIONS, but not his ways.

As long as you want HIM to be a certain WAY, the more his is going to resist, and the more you are going to try harder. If he is treating you like this, he is not showing you LOVE the way you deserve to be treated and let him go. I know it is hard, but the least you do, the more he will start showing his APPRECIATION for everything that YOU do.

I KNOW and talking and talking and talking is not going to get you ANYWHERE esp not with a CANCER man. With a Cancer man, less = more. The less you talk, the more you will get out of him. Yeah, I know you probably got along well, but now he is taking you for GRANTED because you have let to much out of the bag, WAY to soon. No, don't call him. YOU should not initate ANYTHING! Let him call you, initiate the EVERYTHING even the committed relationship that you want. He WILL NEVER change. It is his ways. SO, you change your ACTIONS and watch him change his ACTIONS, but not his ways.
> I've tried letting him go but we end up talking after a few days or so, there was a time when I was really upset with him that I didn't speak to him for 3 weeks, i don't think it made any difference, we started talking again like nothing happen. also, I left and went on vacation for spring break and came back all i got from him is questions "who i brang to the hotel room?" and didn't show that he missed me. I am loyal, trustworthy and honest esp about how i feel. I expect him to be the same. He is just so distant since i've been giving him space. I am willing to do everything for him and he knows this but if he loves me why is he playing mind games. Why can't he just come out and let me know how he feels. Sorry that I'm taking everything out on here. Just very frustrated at the situation. I really appreciate that you take the time to repond. Thank you.

I agree with merc.

I KNOW and talking and talking and talking is not going to get you ANYWHERE esp not with a CANCER man. With a Cancer man, less = more. The less you talk, the more you will get out of him. Yeah, I know you probably got along well, but now he is taking you for GRANTED because you have let to much out of the bag, WAY to soon. No, don't call him. YOU should not initate ANYTHING! Let him call you, initiate the EVERYTHING even the committed relationship that you want. He WILL NEVER change. It is his ways. SO, you change your ACTIONS and watch him change his ACTIONS, but not his ways.

>>i don't know what you mean by "he will change his actions but not his ways?" I just want the sweet guy that he was. I guess when he was perfect I have nothing to complain and i was never really on top of him. is this why he is being a jerk because i notices him more? I don't like how I am turning out, jealous (because i don't know why he is acting the way he is) questioning him more than i should (and i do realizes this but he is just so distant emotionally (although we see each other almost 24/7) he wants me to stop all this but how can I when he is being distant? I am usually a strong person in relationship? but I can't figure out why am I so drawn to him?

As long as you want HIM to be a certain WAY, the more his is going to resist, and the more you are going to try harder. If he is treating you like this, he is not showing you LOVE the way you deserve to be treated and let him go. I know it is hard, but the least you do, the more he will start showing his APPRECIATION for everything that YOU do.

> I've tried letting him go but we end up talking after a few days or so, there was a time when I was really upset with him that I didn't speak to him for 3 weeks, i don't think it made any difference, we started talking again like nothing happen. also, I left and went on vacation for spring break and came back all i got from him is questions "who i brang to the hotel room?" and didn't show that he missed me. I am loyal, trustworthy and honest esp about how i feel. I expect him to be the same. He is just so distant since i've been giving him space. I am willing to do everything for him and he knows this but if he loves me why is he playing mind games. Why can't he just come out and let me know how he feels. Sorry that I'm taking everything out on here. Just very frustrated at the situation. I really appreciate that you take the time to repond. Thank you.

If he is distancing himself from you. He feels like YOU don't appreciate the things that he does do for you. And YOU are complaining to much instead of just ACCEPTING him. You being generous, and giving, giving, giving, (SORRY I AM TRYING TO BE NICE) makes you APPEAR in a man's eyes anyways,
1. Controlling
2. Needy
3. Desperate
4. Insecure

What do you have to PROVE? He is probably wondering the same thing. What are you trying to PROVE to him. Why are you trying to CONVINCE him that you LOVE him. I know with a CANCER man, whew, girl, YOU will have to live up to this for the rest of your life. If he is going to love you, he is going to love you for YOU! Relationships are not based on what you can do for person. Relationships are based on accepting a man for who he is, and not expecting him to be PERFECT!

I know Leo's are honest, trustworthy and LOYAL, and he knows that to. That is why he tested you first, just to see if you were going to be someone else for him. And he has distanced himself, simply because you have given to much of yourself to him. Yes, he did for you in the beginning of the relationship. But, CANCER MEN don't just DO things from the heart. STRINGS are attached to EVERYTHING that he does for YOU! But, YOU have to let him know with your actions that if he is not doing something for YOU from the goodness of his heart and expecting QUICK actions from you from his acts of "kindness" then he needs to BEAT IT! Get lost. That is taking YOU for granted and you have to put your foot down with your actions to let him KNOW that YOU are not PLAYING!

And, NO NO NO! Let him KNOW with your actions that NO sweet talking, manipulation, or him instilling GUILT in you is going to make you BOW down. It is YOUR way or the highway. I promise you, this man will melt in your arms if you play your cards right. Text me. OK?

I think that you should sit down with him and both of you all should discuss what is going on, what you want to change and what you are/arent satisfied with. If you can't reach an agreement or see eye to eye then you should let him go. Sometimes you just have to be adult about things, open up and talk face to face, revealing your desires and concerns unabashedly...either he can deal with it or not and go from there. We can only give you advice based on out own experiences and ideas, but thi sis your relationship and you know all the small details. Most of yall you really know whether its over or not, deep inside, so just decide to stop ignoring that and decide if the relationship is worth a fight.

My Cancer appreciates when I talk with words as long as Im not saying something that comes across as me trying to tell him that he HAS to do something or me trying to manipulate him with my tone or attitude (whining, pouting, or yelling; condescending or dictatorial). He's very good at holding a conversation where we discuss what we expect from our relationship and if those expectations are being met and also what needs to change if they arent being met. Notice I said discuss because I know talking at him or talking down to him would get me absolutely nowhere. You cant say that words wont work for Cancer men, I think its just that some are better communicators than others and its easier for them to talk to some people than others. It also takes a lot of patience for me to have a conversation with my Cancer because he seems to have to pepare himself for the blows if he thinks their might be some. He's much easier to talk to then anyone I've been in a relationship as long as I remember to talk to him like he is an adult and I'm an adult that respect each other. And he's been like that since the day I met him.

UM, SUMMER TEXT ME OK! I HAVE GREAT INFORMATION TO SHARE WITH YOU! I ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING THAT FITS YOUR EXACT SITUATION.

it's not that men don't understand or appreciate words....it's that they just aren't as comfortable expressing themselves verbally so they respond with actions to what you're saying - but it is still a response....but cancer men tend to be better communicators because they are so "femminine" in nature, that's where their deeply emotional natures really come in handy.

Expressing words may be the EXACT reason why some women have the hardest time cracking that shell.

To him maybe i come out like demanding. I don't mean to but the way i talk i guess, he gets the wrong vibe. i used to be not like that with him but just the way we've been dealing with our problems. The frustration I guess and also him talking at me as well made me kind of that way with him. I don't know if im making any sense. it's just with him, its HIS WAY or no way.

I understand where you're coming from Summer, it was the same way with my ex Scorpio. He frustrated me SO much that I couldnt even think straight and I was acting out of character. When I tried not to be demanding he walked over me and when I was demanding he acted like I went Godzilla on his town. He broke up with me for "complaining too much" then a couple weeks later he wrote a song trying to get me back but the whole theme of the song was focused on how miserable he was without me, he didnt mention anything about how he hurt me and how much he put me through. My advice is that if he isnt trying to reach an agreement, hear what you have to say, be accountable for his part in the relationship and salvage what is left of it then leave him alone and stop hoping he'll change. He's obviously got this head too far up his own butt to realize that he isnt giving you what you need, want or deserve from him in the relationship.

summer - I will tell you this much, if you are asking HOW to pass the test then you probably won't pass - because it's not about being who he wants you to be, it's about being who YOU are and how that fits into what HE wants - either you are or you aren't. That is why they test - to see if you are that person, if you are not then just let it go.

"less = more. The less you talk, the more you will get out of him."

yes....this is the secret to a great relationship - no talking....talking is highly overrated. COMMUNICATION IS THE DOWNFALL OF ANY SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP.

and if you believe that..... leave the poor guy alone....

"If he is distancing himself from you. He feels like YOU don't appreciate the things that he does do for you. And YOU are complaining to much instead of just ACCEPTING him"

I'm sorry - maybe I misunderstood - but I could have sworn a few posts back you said the reason he was distancing himself was because she was giving him too much and making it too easy for him?.......

"I know Leo's are honest, trustworthy and LOYAL, and he knows that to. That is why he tested you first, just to see if you were going to be someone else for him. And he has distanced himself, simply because you have given to much of yourself to him."

okay....so we're back to this again.... I can't take anymore.....

Um,
Summer I don't dwell. I get results! text me. I don't find time in analyzing things. I can give you what you NEED to get you on the right track with your Cancer man.

Oh Summer,
If you dwell and try to hard trying to figure out things within ANY relationship. You will be single and lonely sitting back WAITING for someone you will NEVER be in tune with. You have BETTER things to do then sit and dwell! Not good for you health!

Bumping this thread. I'm going through very similar issues. Wish I knew what krobe03's answer was...