Cancers you got to help me out on this one....

I'm sure many of you read my post about my relationship with my cancer boyfriend (I am cancer also). Well yesterday evening him and I went to get something to eat and while he was paying for the food I notice in the area where the money is was a condom. So I asked him "hey why is that there" he looked down and told me to hold on while he order the food. So once he was finished he explain to me that the condom was in there way before he met me, and I have never seen a condom in there because on many occasions I had his wallet to purchase things. So he then tells me that it was in another compartment of wallet and I know he is lying and it's not like him and I use them. If you were in my situation what would you do.

I just don't understand how all of a sudden a condom ends up in his wallet, and he tells me it's been in there for a while. And then he tries to make a point by throwing the condom away, like he can't get more. But after that he said that he has no reason to cheat, he's happy where he is, but still apart of me does not believe him. And it was also a time where he had 2 condoms in his drawer and now it's not there anymore. It's really sad but my boyfriend lies about the smallest things it's sad but being a cancer woman it's hard to let go of someone you have strong feelings for, even if they are lying or cheating, that's so sad I know.

Dump his asz, or be played for a fool, Or find out proof....really only things you can do unless you want to worry yourself into an early grave.

Don't ask him stupid questions and he won't have to tell you a lie.

The condom is in his wallet because he doesn't carry a purse to keep one in. What the f... is going on?

Ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer. That, we all learned as children. You don't own him, you don't own anyone. He can carry in his wallet anything he wants to, just as you can carry in your purse, anything you want to. It's none of your damn business.

Here's a question to you. What if he went in your purse and found something he didn't like and poked a finger at you? How would you like that? It makes no difference what it is, or why it's there. It's your purse, it's your business. It's his wallet, it's his business. It's that simple.

It has nothing to do with Sun Signs - it has to do with RESPECT

Second, just for the fact that you would be surprised that the man has a condom, shows the world, for anyone in the world can come on here and read this - that you are one of the inconsiderate b!tches spreading STD's around.

You're SURPRISED that he has a condom? Hussy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You shag people unsafely, this is your testimony. Your care for humanity doesn't go beyond yourself and your own feelings.

First of all, quoting to your posting..."it's really sad but my boyfriend lies about the smallest things" it's not the smallest thing...If you guys are not using it, then what the heck is he carrying one in his wallet— condom=sex meaning he's obviously trying or is sleeping with other bitches. You don't deserve this kind of treatment.If he can't give you a satisfaction answer to it, you should question yourself, if this guy is the one—

P-Angel, I don't think it's anything wrong to ask, since it wasn't like she snooped around, she just happened to see it's in his wallet. And, as his girlfriend,she has the right to ask that "dumb" question, because afterall, he's HER boyfriend, and it's pertaining her as well. He's is the one suppose to respect her. Geez...

But, that's not the case Semperfibabe, for if it was, if it was just an innocent question because she has a right to know - then, she would have believed him. She wants to be suspicious, or she would have faith in him.

Someone else posted in response to this: "Sounds like you lack confidence in much of anything he says." Cancer's are always suspicious, always snooping in places they shouldn't and they burned every time and then go to people and whale, blah, blah, blah, I'm so abused. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. I know a few Cancer's who don't behave that way. But, it's apparant that this is one of those Cancers.

He gave his answer and she doesn't believe him. Trust is the upmost, single thing in a relationship. If she doesn't trust his word, then why should he waste his time in caring for her feelings? It's possible that he was telling the truth. That wasn't contimplated for second. The assessment was automatic that he's a liar and a cheat, so she gets what she deserves.

No pity here.

Quote: "He's is the one suppose to respect her. Geez..."

Right, because respect only goes one way. Geez...

obviously the guy is doing something that's making the girl feeling insecured. When someone fails to hold themselve honorable in his or her own action, you have to question his/her moral and standards. Trusting or not is another issue here. He's obviously cheating, otherwise, why would he carries a condom, if they dont use them...then who is he gonna "share" that with? lamo you sounds so much like someone in this forum. Why so critical or judgenmental? relax............

The male gets no breaks, he's wrong - always !!!!!!

It's ok for her to judge him, make assessment that he's cheating, but heaven forbid that female be judged, right?

I'm only saying that there is no evidence to make that assumption. You state he's cheating just from what you've read here. You don't know the two parties involved, you only know one side of the story and make judgement - he's a cheater.

So, in essence, it's ok to make opinion, so long as woman is correct, but, it's not ok if the woman is wrong. How double standard is that?

Women say men are double standard, when in fact, women are too and here is evidence. I just don't believe that it is ok to perpetuate ignorance simply to take sides. It's irrelevant whether a person is male or female, wrong is wrong and right is right. I get the feeling that it matters not what is mature and trusting, what matters is that the females get their feelings nurtured even when the pain is self inflicted. That doesn't help anyone, that just allows the self delusion to continue.

If she doesn't believe him, then walk away and find a person who is right for her. But, to come on here and make judgements that he's a liar and a cheat, when in fact she does not know that to be the truth, then the discredit is hers to carry - not his. Now, if she found him in bed with another, that would be different, but, she did not. Finding a condom in a man's wallet only means that he's conscientious about humanity and the spreading of STD's. Perhaps, he was telling the truth. It's possible that it was there all along, but, she didn't see it. Are you so arrogant, and her, to believe that she is absolutely 100% right? It's not possible that she just overlooked it?

How old are you people anyway?

Of course, she's female, you're female, so the male has to be wrong. Give him no credit at all. He has penis, therefore he's wrong.

She never did answer the question I asked and why not? Because she knows full well that she would be infuriated if he called her out as to why she carried something in her purse that he did not like. Act like an adult in an adult relationship and you will be treated like an adult in an adult relationship.

What's in his wallet is his business, period.

What's in her purse is her business, period.

gttommy said, "As for the condoms in his drawer, probably better not to bring that up because he'll think you are invading his privacy"

Oh, so, I'm not the only who sees she's infringing upon his private space.

blah blah blah hahaha

You know what, never mind . . .

I read on another thread, started by this girl and her boyfriend, and in that thread, she talked about being in his room in the family house . . . this suggests that he's not even a man, nor, her even a woman . . . so, naturally, she knows nothing about an adult relationship because she isn't one!!!

Go play !!!!! Come back with real life relationship issues when you grow up.

Thanks P-Angel for your advice and comments as well for the rest of you, It's greatly appreciated. Some points that you have made I agree with, as far as invading his privacy and so on. It's weird to say I have never been this way before, and as far as invading his privacy it goes both ways except when he does things like check my cell phone, read my journals etc. I allow him to do so because there isn't anything to hide and that's one of my ways to make him feel secure. I would like some sense of security to as well. And the fact that he had a condom in his wallet in which I happened to look in that direction while he was paying for dinner makes me feel a bit uneasy and suspicious at the same time. The reason why there is always a question is because I was approached by his so called ex on two occasions threatening to kill me and his family(let me point out after all that has happened he still associates with her), and countless other situations that has happened. Yea perhaps we may need to grow up, but I just feel that if I wasn't approached or if other things hadn't happened it wouldn't be this way. I feel honesty is the best policy and if he were honest I believe things would be a whole lot better. He was the one that chose to be with me exclusively so I expect him to faithful and honest with me I asked him if that's what he wanted and he said yes. But hey we live and we learn right? This I will take as another learning experience.