Confused Cancer Girl!! Need help !

Hi
I am a Libra guy and have just lost everything from my sleeps, dreams, goals to my senses, hobbies and interests for this Cancer girl!

Its been 3 months we met and 1 month we have been together!
At first our conversations were so interesting, and we both felt so connected with each other. And my heart literally skipped a heartbeat when she smiled! Even her messages showed how badly she missed me and wanted to meet again!
I being a libra have always been open about my thinking, feelings and been very romantic sometimes! She loved it so much that she would cancel her job just to meet me.
From early morning to late night we used to text, and would meet atleast once or twice a week.
Then her college started and as she is very career oriented and workaholic, would just reply me "ttyl gotto study" and I would just leave her for a while and wait for her reply!

All was well until I had to go to my country for a reason and was away from her for a week! I tried my best to chat with her, but of all the time we both got (due to the time difference), it was just stupid questions like "how r u?" "ok" "Good" "Cool" "What are you upto?" and all boring questions!!

I was confused coz i thought either she is missing me badly or is just busy and wants me to know that she is missing me!!
Then on the day i was supposed to come back, she texted me saying "I will come to pick u up from the airport!"
I was happy, but i recalled that she has to miss her classes just to pick me up! So I persuaded her not to come!
She said okay! But when I asked when are we meeting again she started saying "i dont know, coz i have got this midterms and stuff to do" I was so confused, that I didn't knew what to do!
As soon as I reached, I went straight back to home, took my car and went to meet her outside college and just texted her to let me know when she is done!!
Then I told her i am waiting outside and am here to see u!!
But i dont know why she freaked out and asked me to leave!! She said I should have informed her! She didn't even meet and I left without saying anything!!

I m deeply hurt with this behavior of hers coz I dont understand what has gone wrong or what have i done wrong??
Why is she reacting like this??
All I know is I think she has a past which she doesn't want to forget!! I have asked her many times but she always used to say i'll let you know when the time comes!!

Its been a day neither of us have messaged each other or tried calling!!

I dont kn

ow what to do or expect!

Plz advice!!

Who knows? Too hard to pinpoint anything yet. Maybe her past involved an ex being a stalker or something and you just freaked her out by showing up like that without permission.

@Ninjamu Thanks for replying!!
I also keep speculating but ultimately I get saddened!!
Hence I think I should give more & more time for her trust! And I also read that u need to give time for them (cancer) to get over things, that's why I haven't replied her yet!
Can u suggest me how shall I start the conversation like?
Shall I try to discuss what just happened or start talking same way all over again as if nothing happened or shall I just wait to see where she is in this moment??

I m completely shocked and don't know what to do??

Not a Cancer, but a Scorpio with a Cancer friend.
I know that my Cancer friend enjoys being interested in someone that doesn't show as much interest in her; She would like someone and expect them to come after her (because she's a little shy). She also doesn't like the guys that are obviously interested in her, but the guys that seem to be busy with other girls. She loves getting attention from them and then being comforted by them. Continuously comforting her is a good thing to do, but (in this short amount of time), you make it seem like she was your property. Give her space, because water signs like to be alone to think (at least the ones I know).
I would say that you should pay attention to her for a while and then let her soak that up while you're not around; Make her WANT to be around you, NEED to be around you. Cancers LOVE the chase, especially the guys. The guys adore the physical chase, but the girls love the mental chase. All of that calling is not going to do it, you'll look a bit desperate. Hang out with friends and have fun... Without her.

Also, do NOT rush information out of a cancer (or any water sign for that matter). They'll close up and not be comfortable around you. When the time comes, and IF the time comes, she'll be comfortable and ready. 🙂

As a Cancer girl, I don't like surprises because it messes with my emotional stability. It is also hard for me to switch gears that quickly,,, for example going from school to meeting my bf who I haven't seen in a bit, will take some mental preparation on my part.

Also, I think you hurt her feelings by telling her NOT to get you at the airport. She may be suspicions of why you wouldn't want to see her right away. She could also be getting you back for that because she may have taken it as rejection. Cancers hate, hate, hate rejection.

The hot and cold in communication is normal... you can't expect to be lovey, dovey all the time and still be genuine. Cancers have mood swings. And that secrecy thing is also pretty normal. It takes a lot to build trust with a Cancer so you may hear surface stories but we won't share things that are close to our heart with just anyone.

I'd contact her by text or email and explain that you didn't mean to surprise her by showing up at her school and you hope you haven't offended her in some way. Then CHANGE THE SUBJECT! Keep it light and express interest in seeing her again but don't come on too strong yet. If she wants to discuss what happened, she will bring it up in an indirect way.

You may just have caught her in a mood.

Good luck!

Posted by VajajayPartay
Not a Cancer, but a Scorpio with a Cancer friend.
I know that my Cancer friend enjoys being interested in someone that doesn't show as much interest in her; She would like someone and expect them to come after her (because she's a little shy). She also doesn't like the guys that are obviously interested in her, but the guys that seem to be busy with other girls.

Give her space, because water signs like to be alone to think (at least the ones I know).

I would say that you should pay attention to her for a while and then let her soak that up while you're not around; Make her WANT to be around you, NEED to be around you. Cancers LOVE the chase, especially the guys. The guys adore the physical chase, but the girls love the mental chase. All of that calling is not going to do it, you'll look a bit desperate. Hang out with friends and have fun... Without her.

DAMN!!!!!! You're good..... LOL! 😉

Posted by shellshocker

Posted by VajajayPartay
Not a Cancer, but a Scorpio with a Cancer friend.
I know that my Cancer friend enjoys being interested in someone that doesn't show as much interest in her; She would like someone and expect them to come after her (because she's a little shy). She also doesn't like the guys that are obviously interested in her, but the guys that seem to be busy with other girls.

Give her space, because water signs like to be alone to think (at least the ones I know).

I would say that you should pay attention to her for a while and then let her soak that up while you're not around; Make her WANT to be around you, NEED to be around you. Cancers LOVE the chase, especially the guys. The guys adore the physical chase, but the girls love the mental chase. All of that calling is not going to do it, you'll look a bit desperate. Hang out with friends and have fun... Without her.

DAMN!!!!!! You're good..... LOL! 😉

click to expand

Being a little observant never hurt anyone. 😉

@vajajaypartay
U r absolutely rite! I totally sounded desperate! But I have never been this desperate in my life for anyone! Maybe that's why!! Thanks a lot!! I hear u and would wait and see rather than losing self respect!!
@shellshocker
Thanks a lot! Even I think I shouldn't have said no to her picking me up!! The thing is she keeps saying, "U should learn how to say NO" coz I m pretty bad in saying NO! And said it to wrong person at wrong time and wrong place! Was just checking how she feels and I cleared it out that I was not at all there to surprise or make her feel uncomfortable!! Let's see how it goes!!

Will keep u guyz posted!! Thanks for replying!! 🙂

And I forgot to add! It was a full moon that evening! _—

I may be wrong, but what I picked up on from your story is that she truly does seem to be very busy with her studies and that her actions are related to that - and not her feelings towards you.

Posted by paries
I may be wrong, but what I picked up on from your story is that she truly does seem to be very busy with her studies and that her actions are related to that - and not her feelings towards you.

But him showing up without her knowing is strange. She probably does like him, but like I said, she needs time to want him. Not too much time apart, but just enough time to start her imagination.

OH, to the original poster, make sure that whenever you see her, say something provocative a little while before you leave her (doesn't have to be sexual, but something for her to remember you by). I've done this before and it works (continuous texts and calls, lol). She won't recall the rest of the time spent together, but she'll definitely remember that statement or question. Good luck! Keep us posted (post in here so we can see it and reply).

After 2 days! Now I messaged her to see how she is? And she seemed just ok! Just asked hows work and few questions and thats it!! She is just replying to what I ask! Nothing else!
I dont see any questions or explanations she might need for now!!
My plan is to just stick to formal questions and see to it that she feels I m there if she needs me!!

How does it sound??

Anything else I can try??

Coz before this mess-up she had asked abt the Valentine's plan! And I had this plan in mind but as now everything is different, I dont think its goin to be a gud idea!!

Its been 5 days... I am the only one who is trying to communicate!! She is just replying to me but would never start a conversation! What shall I do? Wait for her to start or keep checking if she is okay like this??

Posted by sagooo
She is just replying to me but would never start a conversation!

at least she's responding...

seriously

Wow. It is almost always hard to get a libra and cancer on the same page. She likes you. She is super focused on something and probably under stress and more moody than usual. Do not take it personal but don't pop up on her again either. Spend time with your friends and give her a lot of space and she will come closer to you when she is done. IF you want her to chase you simply stop communication. She will start to wonder and miss you and chase you. But I would advise against the latter game and just give her space until the semester is over. If you can do that, she will sooo love you to death and feel as though you understand her. I just completed 2 degrees and was often so consumed and moody and stresses that i would not want to or evern have time to talk for almost a week at a time. my guy understoon and it made me love him more. when i had time when the semester was over, i treated him like a king and gave him all the time in the world.

btw...some cancers can shut EVERYONE totally out when they get totally focused on something. it is not common to most but i for sure suffer from this. she could have taurus in her chart. I don't and still do this.

Thanks for replying!

The thing is that I was never used to stay this much time away from her for this long, so after a day of the incident I just apologized for my behavior and told her it wont happen again! But I didnt get any response. And the little we used to chat I could easily get that its the studies thats really keeping her busy! So I ignored her for few days again. And I started talking to my friends about it and told them how I am feeling. They are very supportive and suggested me not to contact her for a while but also dont make her feel as if you dont care. So I was just enquiring about her health, and her studies for now! And she felt happy about it. She liked how I remembered her exam and how I made sure that I wished her good luck!

So that is where I am right now.

I wanted to celebrate valentine's day with her (so did she before) but I thought its not the good time, hence just wished her and she replied same to you! I told her "dont worry we will celebrate it later sometime", to which she laughed and said "I am not 🙂"

Its been 16 days I have not met her or listened to her voice. At first I couldn't sleep, I used to get sleep hardly for 2-3hrs/day! But then when I started spending time with my friends, I am much better! But she is always around me (hypothetically) no matter what I do!

The thing is that few weeks ago when we used to date, once it happened that her phone was not reachable for one whole day and I was so tensed that I went to her workplace next day and met her and she was so happy to see me and I was very very tensed. She grasped the tensed look in my eyes and said that sometimes I get scared when I see u caring so much for me! She said, "If something happens to this relationship, you will be shattered!" I smiled and told her, "I will try my best to work it out dear!" and she hugged me so tight!

Whenever I think of letting her go, this incident flashes infront of my eyes!!

I m just waiting for this phase to go as fast as possible!

Its not that we dont talk, but its just that everyday I start the conversation, and she continues.

And I dont talk abt personal issues and feelings anymore, just abt her studies!
Sometimes I crack some jokes, which she finds funny, and sometimes I enquire abt her family, sometimes I share her my party experiences etc.

Next week is her last exam, and I think thats when I can open up more and talk more.

Lets see!

Please pray for me!!

You are doing good. keep giving her space. talk about her exams. make it through this semester with her with out demanding too much. not that you are not worth time or deserve her time but there is a time for everything and now it not the time to spend a lot of time together. Your fear of losing her is going to lead to you losing her. Do not panic. Chill out. If she likes you, she likes you and will not leave you. i can remember dating a guy that seems similar to you and he totally freaked me out. i ended up running like he wind from him. be confident. be cool. she will come to you with a vigor if you can do those two things.