crabby voodoo trickery

he kinda knows i'm sitting on the fence. he told me it was over on sunday after i avoided answering his questions about 'us'. then he went silent and i respected that despite this growing realisation that i miss him. for the last two days i've fought the urge to contact him...asking myself what it is i want from him cos that's what he wants to know and so if i contact him, then he'll think i have an answer and i don't 😢

i just miss him!!!!

anyway, i was pondering this dilemna when he texted to say that he needed to come to my house and pick up some bed linen he lent me when my son stayed over. he's gonna call tomorrow and come over. then he texted 'good night, sleep well'.

i really like this man but i don't know how i like him. he wants to know though...doesn't want to go any further until he does in fact. i like how he doesn't put up with my shit but it also concerns me that sometimes, that makes me like someone more and i haven't really thought it through.

i don't want to end up blowing hot and cold with him although i don't think he would put up with it for a nanosecond...i don't want to lose him from my life altogether....but i don't know what i DO want from him.

is it not possible for a crab in this situation to take off the pressure and just enjoy being with someone? do you have to know for sure that the other person is in it for the long haul before you are prepared to get to know them better?

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
then he went silent and i respected that despite this growing realisation that i miss him. for the last two days i've fought the urge to contact him..

i just miss him!!!!

anyway, i was pondering this dilemna when he texted to say that he needed to come to my house

was this text before or after you contacted him to come fix your toilet? 😄

the funniest thing is you named the the thread *crabby voodoo trickery* lmao!

you Scorps...

yeah cos he's pulling my strings with all this silent treatment and he knows it. last week after a talk he said that he wouldn't call or text me any more to arrange anything and noted that the next day i called him at 2pm, lol...kept going on about how he'd 'made' me do it.

i know he doesn't need this bed linen at all and so it's just an excuse too but what's he gonna do. come round and play it all cold and aloof to reel me in some more?

interesting tactics though.

i contacted him about the toilet business (lol) the day after he'd dumped me by text. it was a friendly worky type call and he was polite but not overly warm. anyhow, he later texted that he couldn't make it and that he would be around another day. then someone else fixed it and so i texted to tell him that there was no need to come around.

so there was contact but it was purely practical and also, had he done the work i would've paid him for it and he would've expected payment.

but i'm not doing anything seraph. i deliberately haven't called him for anything other than the plumbing thing. although i really wanted to i was determined not to text him either and then he texted me about his stuff that i've got here.

i can't exactly tell him he can't have it can i? besides, my daughter will be here and so there'll be no funny business going on.

i do like him and i don't want to blow hot and cold and so all the time i feel hot and cold about him, i need to maintain a distance from him but i don't think there's any need to cut him dead completely.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
but i'm not doing anything seraph. i deliberately haven't called him for anything other than the plumbing thing. although i really wanted to i was determined not to text him either and then he texted me about his stuff that i've got here.

it doesn't matter WHY you contacted him. YOU contacted him... no one is stupid here.

in your OP you tried to "imply" that you have been respecting his wishes and controlling yourself from contacting him...
when actually YOU contacted him...

why do you want to manipulate readers perceptions? but that is another thread...

The Cancer said he would come help you. Then he cancelled... because you are not going to tell him when and why he can come over. He's not a lap dog... He does things for you because he chooses to do things for you.

He then "created" an opportunity to pick up his sheets so he can see you... just like you "created" the opportunity to contact him by using your broken toilet.

Both things are kinda true.

You have so met your match...

yes well i hadn't suggested my man ban would end...just that it would be tested but i'm made of strong stuff. besides, i already like him too much to fuck him around any more. i won't just cut him dead though. he already presented me with the options before when he texted asking if i wanted to be 'friends, lovers or fuck buddies'. i didn't answer the text and so a few hours later got the 'i'm done' text.

damn bloody texts....i HATE them!!!

anyway...if the options are still available, i would opt for friends right now. this is such a small community and we're grownups and so i very much doubt we'll end on bad terms.

Posted by shellshocker

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
but i'm not doing anything seraph. i deliberately haven't called him for anything other than the plumbing thing. although i really wanted to i was determined not to text him either and then he texted me about his stuff that i've got here.

it doesn't matter WHY you contacted him. YOU contacted him... no one is stupid here.

in your OP you tried to "imply" that you have been respecting his wishes and controlling yourself from contacting him...
when actually YOU contacted him...

why do you want to manipulate readers perceptions? but that is another thread...

The Cancer said he would come help you. Then he cancelled... because you are not going to tell him when and why he can come over. He's not a lap dog... He does things for you because he chooses to do things for you.

He then "created" an opportunity to pick up his sheets so he can see you... just like you "created" the opportunity to contact him by using your broken toilet.

Both things are kinda true.

You have so met your match...

click to expand

i didn't intentionally mislead anyone....i honestly forgot about the exchange re the plumbing cos it was literally about that only and he knew i was gonna call him about it once i had spoken to my landlord. so i didn't create the opportunity...i could've not bothered calling him but at that point, i my sofa was still swilling around in waste water!

thing is i met him cos he does this kind of work and had already done a few jobs for me before we started hanging out together and so it really is a separate issue to 'us'.

whatever

well i saw him today as planned and we talked. he said that if we were seeing each other he wouldn't expect me to give up my independence and that he doesn't own me....so perhaps he's gonna back off a little bit now. if so, i actually think it will increase his appeal cos i've missed him these last couple of days. it's good to miss someone from time to time.

Follow your heart, not your head. You will have fewer regrets. I can't promise you won't have any but you will have fewer.

You know that I love you dearly. I hope that means you trust me...so I want you to do this...

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath and say to yourself....

I'M NOT GOING TO WORRY HOW THE STORY ENDS.

LET GO RIG. JUST LET GO. He's not going to hurt you and even if he does, you will survive. It will not kill you.

I didn't read your no man thread @ the scorpio board, so I might have missed something, but how has this situation change from the last time you discussed it on this board. Specifically, I thought your daughter doesn't like him and you decided that's a deal breaker.

What's changed ? Why are you entertaining any ideas of him when you know/think he's not an option ?

This is what I mean by "weakness of character"

you say... "he's an alcoholic. I have issues with drinking from my past... it's a deal breaker"

you say... "my daughter doesn't like him. she comes first... it's a deal breaker AND i keep my men separate from my children" you have and are still spending time all together.

you say... "he dumped me. I won't contact him... man ban" you contact him

you say... "i still like the leo... I just like to sex this cancer." then you say.. "i miss him. I'm smitten"

You don't mean anything you say.. yet you try to convince people with your words.

Cancers are action based people and we are always watching your actions. So you can talk all the shit you want.. but we see you.