difference between a cancer male retreating into his shell because he's hurt and he's disinterested

just a curious question 😄
how would he behave differently if he is profusely hurt by you and retreats into his shell and when he is not interested in you at all.

MOVE ON!

I really wish you aren't right @thinktoomuch but I highly fear you are. I have read so much about all this,trying to decipher his behavior. B says "you have to be very very patient for these men if you want to win them back.They take a lot of time to come out of their shell. They will slowly poke their head out and repeat until they feel safe and secure.They want consistency.They may say things to test you" and C says "he's just using you to move on,that's it. No reconciliation happening.Not possible"

My head has been spinning. A big part of me hates me now for loving this person so much in such a way that a year has passed and i feel exactly the same as i did 2 yrs ago. I have been way too hard on myself for having messed up by betraying his trust. He said "its not about not overlooking your mistakes.Its about not being able to feel the same again" and I,in my stupid head,thought that maybe if we stay connected and have him slowly get out of his shell and make him realize that the reason why we brokeup is a reason which doesn't have any scope of being repeated again.Once he realizes how much i genuinely love him then he'll be back because I know for sure that the emotional connection is what i need the most for us to happen. I read that one has to be very patient because the process of winning a cancerian back is a long long process and I have been even willing to wait for him. Things were good even after we brokeup,you know. Two months after we brokeup he confessed he still had feelings for me and we made love.He said he still loves me but has trust issues.Then his academic failure happened and he returned changed.The talks reduced and so did the quality of the talks reduced but he would still be very sensitive towards me although emotionally detached. But i hated that change in him so i kept asking him emotional questions like "why dont we talk anymore""why do you let us connect anymore" "will we ever talk like before again" etc etc which would highly pisss him off and annoy him to the core.Even 3 months ago he said i am his long term investment.He is such a different person when we speak on phone and so different when we chat online or text.He's so open when we talk on phone.He allows the emotional connection(not totally though).We make each other laugh.He'll make some weird sexual innuendos and he actually behaves sensitive towards my feelings but he's this cold detached person when we text.The last talk we had on phone was 2.5 weeks ago and he told me he was planninga trip to Asia and my thought came in his mind. But I am a helpless emotional piscean fool. And since then his behavior started changing to worse as i kept my emotional questions coming. I need to stop it right now. I am doing fine moving on with my friends,family and books but there are those evil moments which bring you so low that you feel shitty for the situation you have created with this one person you've loved and still love so much.

Posted by SensitiveBlues

Posted by Cancer Lady
MOVE ON!

why? im in my shell but if my ex contacted me i would wiggle on out

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The Virgo?

I think for a cancer to retreat into their shell is the first step to them distancing themselves and on the path to disinterest. For my ex cancer anyway. He first started doing that, then it was slowly putting distance emotionally and then physically.. until it was the dreaded "I need space"..

Just know that when you've broken up and then get back together - the whole relationship dynamics changes.. you start feeling like he doesn't treat/care for you like he used to before the breakup. You then get back together and struggle and do more to try to hold onto the relationship. Always walking in tip toes so as to not upset the apple cart. But invariably you would fail anyway as the relationship is already damaged and not fully recovered from the first breakup. This holding onto the past is what is preventing you from letting go and finding someone new.

It's hard, I know it was hard for me when this happened to my cancer ex and I, we were together for over 10 years, broke up twice and each time we got back together it was nice but the relationship was never the same.. Looking back, my regrets were that I should've never tried to convince him to come back after the first break up. I've wasted 5 extra years when I should've let him go and moved on.

Posted by gia
just a curious question 😄
how would he behave differently if he is profusely hurt by you and retreats into his shell and when he is not interested in you at all.

There seems to be more to your story, but to answer your initial question, the only real difference is the length of time the Cancerian distances him/herself from you. A hurt Cancer will eventually get over it and come out of their shell because they miss you. A Cancer who has lost interest in you will most likely walk away and that's that. Sometimes we come back. Sometimes we don't. It depends on the circumstances. When we no longer have feelings for you, we can be pretty cold. We just stop caring if we hurt you. Of course this is a general view of the sun sign Cancer. An individual's other signs will affect their reactions as well.

I completely agree with Keres. Spot on.