DO I GIVE UP ON MY CANCER MAN

I've been dating a cancer man for 6 months. He chased like crazy at the start, sent songs and romantic gestures every day. We have so much fun together. He introduced me to his daughter and her and I bonded and did some cool girl things together. He has a bad childhood, his mother abondoned him when he was 15 and has alot of issues surrounding this. I have more than him and earn more than him but I don't care about stuff like that. I love him for him and not what he has. I've told him so many times. He always says that I am out of his league. I've told him so many times it's in his head. He has come to so many functions with me and met all my friends and family. He came to my daughters birthday party and was telling everyone how much he likes me and I am so different to the other women he has dated. He came out of a 8 year on off relationship about 8 months before meeting me. One night I noticed a shift in him, the sex was more loving and he became so much more intimate. He told me he was in love with me. Then started disappearing. I told him how I felt about him and he said he wasn't looking for a relationship and immediately blocked me. I was so confused and mad and heart broken. It's taken me 2 months to get him to talk to me and unblock me. We met up 3 weeks ago and decided to start a business together. He was so keen. We had sex and it was amazing. He asked if we could be just friends . I agreed and said I would rather be his friend than nothing at all. He then said he didn't want me dating other men and that we would get married in 5 years. He wanted to stay but I said we are friends now it's best he goes home. I left him for a few days and send a friendly message. He has ignored every single message since. I sent him one last one and said I was done. He responded to that one saying he was busy and would chat when he can. That was 5 days ago. I don't want to give up on him and prepared to walk this battle with him. He is just so confusing. I know his feelings are strong. Do I give him space and time to come round and if so how much time or do I move on? Why would he agree to start a business and be friends but doesn't want that either?

You are too old to be so foolish

He said to me once that I am lucky I am not a rebound as he's done that already. He blurts out he loves me and then retreats and I have to bring him around again. I just messaged him now and he responded immediately but when I replied he ignores. I know he feels love for me but doesn't know what to do with it. How long do I wait for him for?

Am I just being stupid? I have never felt like this about a man before. There is something about him. I feel he has potential to love me but I agree he isn't ready now. I am happy to stay in his life as his friend until he is ready but also have to protect my heart.

Because there is something special here and I want to see it though. But I also don't want to get hurt in the process when he is never ready or meets someone and is ready with her.

I cant believe u actually think you have a chance smh Have some self respect & move on. No one wants a weak woman who gets treated like doormat

Posted by GeminiGal1979

Am I just being stupid? I have never felt like this about a man before. There is something about him. I feel he has potential to love me but I agree he isn't ready now. I am happy to stay in his life as his friend until he is ready but also have to protect my heart.

You are a genuine thirst bucket 🤦

You see "potential". Are you his mother? Men don't need women helping them like their mother should have. He needs to learn to be great on his own. Not at the expense of "I'm willing to wait." WTF

You want that struggle love. That's for the birds 🙄 Pick your dignity off the ground.

When a woman KNOWS who she is, she isn't going to chase a dude, let alone an unworthy one.

Posted by GeminiGal1979

Because there is something special here and I want to see it though. But I also don't want to get hurt in the process when he is never ready or meets someone and is ready with her.

That's exactly what you're doing: Preparing him for the next chic. He'll treat her better than you because you've given him a lot of practice. STOP being a fool and STOP thinking you're going to miss out on something "special" if you walk away. You're not. Promise. The very best thing you can do for him is not necessarily to remain as a friend but to point him to some counseling about abandonment. He doesn't need ANY romantic relationships until he heals from that!

Thank you everyone. I didn't come for harsh but I suppose it warrants it. No money was invested and we spoke about it a long time ago and he is actually a friend of a friend so nothing sinister. He's a very complex and confused man and his hurt runs very deep. I supposed I attracted a wounded bird and being a good soul, I wanted to heal it and make it strong. I see the wrong in it all andnthr struggle ahead but you can't help who you fall in love with. I'll move on and trust in what will be, will be.

Can you please tell me what makes him so great? He actually sounds like the ultimate loser. From your description I get that he’s indecisive, self-absorbed/disrespectful (disappeared and reappears as he sees fit - blatant disregard for you/his so called friend), manipulating with silent treatment when you didn’t agree to his dumb request, he’s not even financially well-off and it seems you are doing better than him. He has mommy issues very apparent from the abandonment.

What the hell is exactly so appealing here? Are you a masochist or do you have reallllllly low standards in men you pick? Saviour syndrome in actuality is people messed up themselves trying to save others when they should be helping their own issues. Girl, you need to help you and your self-esteem before waiting for him.

Posted by aquarius09

Can you please tell me what makes him so great? He actually sounds like the ultimate loser. From your description I get that he’s indecisive, self-absorbed/disrespectful (disappeared and reappears as he sees fit - blatant disregard for you/his so called friend), manipulating with silent treatment when you didn’t agree to his dumb request, he’s not even financially well-off and it seems you are doing better than him. He has mommy issues very apparent from the abandonment.

What the hell is exactly so appealing here? Are you a masochist or do you have reallllllly low standards in men you pick? Saviour syndrome in actuality is people messed up themselves trying to save others when they should be helping their own issues. Girl, you need to help you and your self-esteem before waiting for him.

🧡🧡🧡

Don’t go into business with him wtf.

I also see a HUGE RED FLAG in the fact he let you, a friend/fuck buddy, get close to his daughter after less than 6 months of knowing you.

Not saying that as an insult to your character but rather his. After all what kinda parent allows a casual fuck buddy access to their kids. Bizarre.

I hope you see through his bs. No one who is genuine says they love you and wants to marry you, and then benches you as a friend.

Posted by alario

Posted by LadyNeptune

I also see a HUGE RED FLAG in the fact he let you, a friend/fuck buddy, get close to his daughter after less than 6 months of knowing you.

Not saying that as an insult to your character but rather his. After all what kinda parent allows a casual fuck buddy access to their kids. Bizarre.

I hope you see through his bs. No one who is genuine says they love you and wants to marry you, and then benches you as a friend.

you're so mean to women in denial about reality. i'm glad you mostly stay out of my emo threads. -.-

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🙄🙄🙄

Posted by LadyNeptune

I also see a HUGE RED FLAG in the fact he let you, a friend/fuck buddy, get close to his daughter after less than 6 months of knowing you.

Not saying that as an insult to your character but rather his. After all what kinda parent allows a casual fuck buddy access to their kids. Bizarre.

I hope you see through his bs. No one who is genuine says they love you and wants to marry you, and then benches you as a friend.

100% Agreed

1. Why didnt that 8 year relationship lead to marriage?

2. Why did they break up? (His ex)

3. The friendship offer was put on the table. His suggestion, not yours. If he can't even be a good friend (answering text messages) ...then why are YOU still trying to hold on to a fictitious friendship.

He's not ready for a relationship, but wants to prevent you from moving on until he's ready. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.

My advice.

Avoid gray areas. Give him an ultimatum. No fake friendship, no fake patience, no fake pretense.

He's not stating that he wants to take things slow. He stated that he wasn't looking for a relationship.

See guys.

THIS is what I talk about.

Posted by LittleStar

Posted by Black-Mamba

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😊

I can’t stop rolling my eyes.

What is it with these trashy ass Cancer men reducing women to mush?

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I don’t think this is a Cancer man thing. It’s just people with little to no standards accepting whatever bottom of the barrel scraping they can get. Seriously, the way I see people outlasting or maintaining relationships nowadays makes me think that nobody can get anybody unless they tolerate this garbage or that all well-behaved and non-entitled individuals are dead. I know another Cancer man and Gemini woman combo. I’m acquaintance with the Gem woman and the shit she told me she has to put up with to hold on to her man is just sickening.