Hurt my cancer ex gf and now she is ignoring me. How?

Help, I need practical advise on winning her back.

Prior to the breakup, I doubted her time and again of her commitment to the relationship. She didn't seem to be because back then I didn't know the subtle ways cancers show their affection and love.

Because of this doubt, I was pushy, pressurizing, direct and confrontational. Even shouted at her when she started distancing herself from me and playing mind games. I'm Leo btw.

To be honest, i took her for granted in the earlier stages of the relationship because crabs fall in love so easily and it wasn't a challenge. That caused her to distance herself. It was only on hindsight that I realized they are one of the best lovers around.

The last time we chatted, I pissed her off and we exchanged heated words and I ignored her text for 2 days.

Tried reaching out to find that she has started ignoring me. Went no contact with her for 2 weeks, but after learning that crabs need constant reassurance and care, reached out to her again via text to tell her I love and appreciated her. Still ignored. It's been a month since.

On hindsight, I realize the mistakes I made and want her to give me another chance.

Any cancerians can tell me whether this sounds like a retaliatory ignore or is it a cut-me-off ignore?

What strategy should i use to text her back? I was thinking periodic weekly text using light hearted stuff and humour to let her know she is on my mind. this way, I intend to create more positive feelings to precede over the negative ones.

Or do you guys think I should engage her more regularly, and share my more honest feelings with her, showing her my vulnerability?

Appreciate any advice 🙂

Don't send her lighthearted or funny stuff but meaningless. Rather say things that show that you genuinely care, like hoping she's had a good week. Or bring up positive and fun shared memories "hey, I was thinking about xyz. I hope you're having a good day".

Thanks guys for your advice.

@peo what's the mindset of a cancer when they ignore someone? Do they need to not be contacted at all for a certain period or periodically? Is ignoring someone their way of cutting out someone from their life?

I don't know but from what I gathered, they need lots of space yet lots of attention. I'm literally trying to turn black into white, and I'm accepting the challenge.

@NemDeux mistakes were made and lessons were learnt. Your right about royalties, working to earn it back now.

Posted by Potato
Thanks guys for your advice.

@peo what's the mindset of a cancer when they ignore someone? Do they need to not be contacted at all for a certain period or periodically? Is ignoring someone their way of cutting out someone from their life?

I don't know but from what I gathered, they need lots of space yet lots of attention. I'm literally trying to turn black into white, and I'm accepting the challenge.

@NemDeux mistakes were made and lessons were learnt. Your right about royalties, working to earn it back now.

It's hard to say. It really depends on what is going on for her.

It can be resentment or self-protection (cutting someone out), or it can be a lack of interest. Or something entirely else.

I was cut out by a cancer woman who resented me because I ended the relationship (she threw that in great detail at me and her pain seems like a valid reason to me.) I completely removed two exes from my life for good reason, the rest I keep very lose contact with.

I really appreciate how honest you were in you original post and how your willing to own your part of what went wrong.. a lot people on the board saying there cancer is suddenly cold or is ignoring them and MOST of the time its just NOT true its NOT how we operate ..

I believe you should ask if you can meet somewhere and tell her exactly what you told us in the original post.. If she has feelings for you she will forgive you...

As far as what goes on in my mind when o cut people off I try to stop the "hurt" at the source of the pain which means cutting people off sometimes

Just here for the user name OP

mucho approve

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
"

The last time we chatted, I pissed her off and we exchanged heated words and I ignored her text for 2 days"

if you ignore a crab or show us an ugly side of you, we will show you an even uglier side and ignore you for twice as long or longer.

we mirror when hurt

so don't hurt

simple

cancers are passive aggressive aren't they?

her actions stem from a place of anger, hurt and tiredness.

You mentioned consistency. How would you suggest being consistent without looking desperate?

Thanks for sharing your insight. The question is, do I still text her on a daily basis even while i am being ignored?

Posted by juliettee
cancer passive aggressive lol. no, it's just that sometimes we see zero point in communicating. so people perceive it as games, passive aggression etc. dude we simply don't care anymore.

That hurt, but I sensed it was the truth. Thanks.