
Shaniajam
@Shaniajam
10 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 2 · Posts: 1193 · Topics: 43




Posted by CalmCrab22Exactly! And it's never to same one.. Like they take turns, then soon as I'm distracted they right in his ear telling him the T... It might be a past thing or another issue is we are both in the entertainment industry... I get a lot of attention and so does he. He could be testing me to see if I'll do the same thing I do to him.(he could be insecure)... Compliment him, hang on him, any chance I get I rub him down (more privately like walking in the parking lot or to the bathroom etc). And he loves it. What I don't get is this... He's into me a lot.. Yet he allows it. So I'm confused. We haven't had the "talk" cause I don't feel I need the title yet but he's so caring to me when I'm upset or about to leave he's right there so if he doesn't care then why he shows affection so much? He fixes my drinks and when I ask for something he does it. If he just wants friendship he's going all out for nothing I feel. It has to be something more and it must be a test? Yes in worried about the Gemini Venus aspect... But I have Venus in Aries lol.. I like freedom in love too.
Mine is cancer with Venus in gem. He doesn't allow his friends to so much as look at me to long. I don't even catch them staring at me yet & he's telling them to stop looking at me.
Him telling you that your grown & can do what you choose is something mine said once when we were having a very bad patch. My interpretation of that was a) yes it's a test of loyalty b) he's not going to allow you to change him so if you're not happy do what you want.
Mine is super attentive makes me comfortable always & my friends.
He will move very slow it doesn't mean he doesn't care. I've gathered that a) we cancers are slow, cautious & move side ways so I takes us a bit of push pull so & tip toe to get around to what we want even though we want it we have to know for sure. (I even do this tango when shopping for shoes) b) gemini venus doesn't want to be "locked down"
We live 25 min apart & average once a week visits. He did recently tell me he wants to help me move closer & into something bigger. But not together lol
My only upset in your situation is him not telling his friends to back off. I'm wondering if that stems from a past situation.

Posted by CalmCrab22By the way thank you for this! Feels good to get real perspective instead of someone being a little pissyyyyy on here lol
Mine is cancer with Venus in gem. He doesn't allow his friends to so much as look at me to long. I don't even catch them staring at me yet & he's telling them to stop looking at me.
Him telling you that your grown & can do what you choose is something mine said once when we were having a very bad patch. My interpretation of that was a) yes it's a test of loyalty b) he's not going to allow you to change him so if you're not happy do what you want.
Mine is super attentive makes me comfortable always & my friends.
He will move very slow it doesn't mean he doesn't care. I've gathered that a) we cancers are slow, cautious & move side ways so I takes us a bit of push pull so & tip toe to get around to what we want even though we want it we have to know for sure. (I even do this tango when shopping for shoes) b) gemini venus doesn't want to be "locked down"
We live 25 min apart & average once a week visits. He did recently tell me he wants to help me move closer & into something bigger. But not together lol
My only upset in your situation is him not telling his friends to back off. I'm wondering if that stems from a past situation.




Posted by brandyp
Every cancer ever is insecure. Never met one that wasnt. What's the dynamic with his friends like? Is he more alpha or more passive? Obviously passive. He is being a pussy. He needs to tell his friends to back off. That's not cool if the looks is causing legitimate fights between you two. Tell him you don't want to sleep with his friends for 1 and 2 ask him to talk to his friends so they stop hitting on you. Problem solved.

Posted by CalmCrab22Thanks for this insight. He's dissapeared and so I am too. Not too much worried about it cause I'm busy just as much and it's not like we live close enough to check in "physically" I will see where it goes. And keep in touch cause I could learn a lot about him through you being the same Venus and all.
@shaniajam
You're welcome. I know what you mean
Mine is in the entertainment industry but not an artist. That doesn't keep the flow of thoties at a minimum though.
Like I said the only thing different between our situation is mine doesn't give them a chance to drop a bug in his ear. Idk about that part.
After he told me he loved me the first time I waited like 3 months waiting for him to further the relationship & since he didn't I pushed the "talk" on him. I didn't get what I thought I would but nothing bad.
I will day though we are not official (I'm on with it) he does make a point to tell EVERYONE I am his girlfriend.
At the end of the day he is much better than most of these fools & I have gone on some dates & tried some conversations but they're all a waste & I end u missing him.
My mother always told me that she had no say in my love life, just so long as I am happy. I am happy. So I don't give people the chance to give me their 2 cents.
When we had a rough patch I did come to dxp & I got 2 responses wait & ur stupid just leave. Everyday I am happy I stayed.
I have Leo Venus. I'm so surprised by that & even though I am a cancer I actually love that we don't smother each other. I feel it allows us to remain the people we are not a smudge of two ppl now one mess bc they moved to fast for society sake. It gives us time to miss each other, no get sick of one another & I think it will behoove us in the future. I had the super fast move in together & never leave each other side. We had the greatest make up sex bc all we did was fight & resent each other.
I sure hope something comes to light with this situation about his friends though. Wish I had more insight there.

Posted by notsosureLol hahahahaha so true
Spending your time trying to figure out and get to the bottom af a guy like this will take up all your time and teach you just that: it´s a waste of time 🙂

Posted by rabidtalker
"No I don't but you grown you can do what you want"
Cancer male here, I will tell my girlfriend or whoever I'm dating something similar but I will also finish the statement with "because I trust you" or something like that.
I also over time try to lose friends that are hitting on my girlfriend or if I show up somewhere with a girl because it is a huge sign of disrespect. I have leo rising and leo venus.

Posted by CalmCrab22"Together" a month
How long have you been "together"?

Posted by NaturallyYes I do that too... Drop a hint and then they start asking questions and of course I play it off cause we are not "official" yet he treats me like we are. So I can't say yes we're together. Then boom soon as I leave they call him or in convo. Like 5 seconds flat lol... Geez I'm exhausted. Lol
Me and my cancer friend are both in the entertainment industry and his close friend hit on me via social media, a few people close to him have hit on me now that I think about it but I ended up blow them off nicely or mentioning him to inform them of that connection if they didn't know, even if him and I don't converse as often.. still isn't my style

Posted by DeadpoopDefinitely something to think about.
Birds of feather flock together. Something to think about.

Posted by ShaniajamI woudlnt say it's a test, just sounds like this guy has some crappy friends.
Ok cool. So would you say this is a test? He ask me everytime I say something if they hit on me and I say yes as if he is unaware. But I'm a suspicious person so I feel it's obvious enough that he shouldn't miss it. I'm more "socially known" people try to come in my circle all the time because of where I'm going so it's not unusual. However, I'm just shocked he's unaware. Or he's doing that to see if I'm really into him. I'm lost lol

Posted by ShaniajamHe will get more assertive as time goes on. He does need to know he can trust you. The entertainment biz has so man females just looking to get with a name & a dude with VIP access. He will get better I promise. I am thinking he's had a situation before & he may be testing you or his friends are thinking they can have you if a past woman he had was like that.Posted by CalmCrab22"Together" a month
How long have you been "together"?
3 dates in and I'm exhausted from the ordeal. Is this a test? I've mentioned it. Then each time it's a new friend. That's one thing I noticed.
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Posted by NaturallyYou & cancer no longer talk? Is that definite or him just on hiatus?Posted by CalmCrab22Its crazy how much this sounds like my situation too lol the friends that hit on me were kind of swept to the side, which was weird considering how close he said they were. I didn't connect the friends being dropped along with me though, he has slightly disappeared like me so we don't speak but the friends are still randomly hitting on me, on a less flirty note a mutual friend told me that he randomly had a dream about me after randomly bumping cancer dudePosted by ShaniajamHe will get more assertive as time goes on. He does need to know he can trust you. The entertainment biz has so man females just looking to get with a name & a dude with VIP access. He will get better I promise. I am thinking he's had a situation before & he may be testing you or his friends are thinking they can have you if a past woman he had was like that.Posted by CalmCrab22"Together" a month
How long have you been "together"?
3 dates in and I'm exhausted from the ordeal. Is this a test? I've mentioned it. Then each time it's a new friend. That's one thing I noticed.
Just try to handle it as calm & diplomatic as possible. Reassurance is key. Jealousy does not work with these guys.
Sorry for the excessive "randoms" tired lol
click to expand

Posted by CalmCrab22This made it more clearer. Now I see. I will make sure to keep being me. No thots on this band waggon.Posted by ShaniajamHe will get more assertive as time goes on. He does need to know he can trust you. The entertainment biz has so man females just looking to get with a name & a dude with VIP access. He will get better I promise. I am thinking he's had a situation before & he may be testing you or his friends are thinking they can have you if a past woman he had was like that.Posted by CalmCrab22"Together" a month
How long have you been "together"?
3 dates in and I'm exhausted from the ordeal. Is this a test? I've mentioned it. Then each time it's a new friend. That's one thing I noticed.
Just try to handle it as calm & diplomatic as possible. Reassurance is key. Jealousy does not work with these guys.click to expand

Posted by NaturallyYeah they seemed like close friends so I thought, if I'm not down he'll eventually drop me cause they must be looking for a girl who does those things... Yet he still keeps asking me out. I notice I'm getting a little put off. I declined his last invite to a spot he's been wanting me to go to. Maybe I'll go next time. Doing my own thing right now. I just don't get it. Why do that? But I get that he's probably making sure I'm not the girl desperate for the spotlight so much that I'll do anything. Not gonna try figuring him out. He hasn't contacted me since I declined to go to the other spot but to make sure I made it home safe. I'm just doing my thing. I've had enough of the ignore thing with men and I'm used to it now. If he comes back he does and if not then I'm ok too.Posted by CalmCrab22Its crazy how much this sounds like my situation too lol the friends that hit on me were kind of swept to the side, which was weird considering how close he said they were. I didn't connect the friends being dropped along with me though, he has slightly disappeared like me so we don't speak but the friends are still randomly hitting on me, on a less flirty note a mutual friend told me that he randomly had a dream about me after randomly bumping cancer dudePosted by ShaniajamHe will get more assertive as time goes on. He does need to know he can trust you. The entertainment biz has so man females just looking to get with a name & a dude with VIP access. He will get better I promise. I am thinking he's had a situation before & he may be testing you or his friends are thinking they can have you if a past woman he had was like that.Posted by CalmCrab22"Together" a month
How long have you been "together"?
3 dates in and I'm exhausted from the ordeal. Is this a test? I've mentioned it. Then each time it's a new friend. That's one thing I noticed.
Just try to handle it as calm & diplomatic as possible. Reassurance is key. Jealousy does not work with these guys.
Sorry for the excessive "randoms" tired lol
click to expand


Posted by AlaniaBAh I see.. I do compliment him a lot and he gets the attention. Then this must be a test cause they always right in his ear after. And his expression when they speak is "nothing" like he sent them. Only reason I know I saw it once then went to the friend like dam. I just walked off you went to him that quick and he was quiet. Mind games I tell yah.
That sounds to me like just some crappy friends, but if he is a Cancer, you flirting back is going to be really offputting.
I am dating Cancer sun / Gemini Venus also and if someone flirted with me I think it would drive him so insane we'd have to leave the place - but if his friends did it I don't think they would be his friends for long.
I have developed a really great way of dealing with his jealousy that works. I simply say to him "babe, you are superior to me compared to other guys, so to me they are not interesting".
That seems to work.
I think it depends a lot on the dynamic. He has a paranoia that I am out of his league which does not help. He is completely wrong - we are about equal in terms of attractiveness but it's like he sees me through strange glasses where he thinks every man wants me (100% NOT true, hardly anyone does so I don't get it)

Posted by ShaniajamYou'll get thru to him by action even if you don't see it. He will say/do subtle things & you'll have to pick up on it to know he cares & trusts you.Posted by CalmCrab22This made it more clearer. Now I see. I will make sure to keep being me. No thots on this band waggon.Posted by ShaniajamHe will get more assertive as time goes on. He does need to know he can trust you. The entertainment biz has so man females just looking to get with a name & a dude with VIP access. He will get better I promise. I am thinking he's had a situation before & he may be testing you or his friends are thinking they can have you if a past woman he had was like that.Posted by CalmCrab22"Together" a month
How long have you been "together"?
3 dates in and I'm exhausted from the ordeal. Is this a test? I've mentioned it. Then each time it's a new friend. That's one thing I noticed.
Just try to handle it as calm & diplomatic as possible. Reassurance is key. Jealousy does not work with these guys.click to expand

Posted by CalmCrab22Thank you. I hope so. Just a gray area right now.Posted by ShaniajamYou'll get thru to him by action even if you don't see it. He will say/do subtle things & you'll have to pick up on it to know he cares & trusts you.Posted by CalmCrab22This made it more clearer. Now I see. I will make sure to keep being me. No thots on this band waggon.Posted by ShaniajamHe will get more assertive as time goes on. He does need to know he can trust you. The entertainment biz has so man females just looking to get with a name & a dude with VIP access. He will get better I promise. I am thinking he's had a situation before & he may be testing you or his friends are thinking they can have you if a past woman he had was like that.Posted by CalmCrab22"Together" a month
How long have you been "together"?
3 dates in and I'm exhausted from the ordeal. Is this a test? I've mentioned it. Then each time it's a new friend. That's one thing I noticed.
Just try to handle it as calm & diplomatic as possible. Reassurance is key. Jealousy does not work with these guys.
Example: I handle his $ now & then. This is bc he's very well off & I never ask him for a penny. He's commented that he knows I don't want him for his $ (& that was during an argument). He also now offers me $ sometimes just bc I'm a single mom.
Side note: our arguments are very mellow, no yelling or unnecessary mean words b he isn't a fan of drama or vulgar behaviorclick to expand

Posted by NaturallyLmaoPosted by ShaniajamDoing your own thing is the best thing 😄 they should put "If he comes back he does and if not then I'm ok too." on a shirt about cancer males, I say that alot and I hear/see it alot too lol (sometimes about virgo men too)Posted by NaturallyYeah they seemed like close friends so I thought, if I'm not down he'll eventually drop me cause they must be looking for a girl who does those things... Yet he still keeps asking me out. I notice I'm getting a little put off. I declined his last invite to a spot he's been wanting me to go to. Maybe I'll go next time. Doing my own thing right now. I just don't get it. Why do that? But I get that he's probably making sure I'm not the girl desperate for the spotlight so much that I'll do anything. Not gonna try figuring him out. He hasn't contacted me since I declined to go to the other spot but to make sure I made it home safe. I'm just doing my thing. I've had enough of the ignore thing with men and I'm used to it now. If he comes back he does and if not then I'm ok too.Posted by CalmCrab22Its crazy how much this sounds like my situation too lol the friends that hit on me were kind of swept to the side, which was weird considering how close he said they were. I didn't connect the friends being dropped along with me though, he has slightly disappeared like me so we don't speak but the friends are still randomly hitting on me, on a less flirty note a mutual friend told me that he randomly had a dream about me after randomly bumping cancer dudePosted by ShaniajamHe will get more assertive as time goes on. He does need to know he can trust you. The entertainment biz has so man females just looking to get with a name & a dude with VIP access. He will get better I promise. I am thinking he's had a situation before & he may be testing you or his friends are thinking they can have you if a past woman he had was like that.Posted by CalmCrab22"Together" a month
How long have you been "together"?
3 dates in and I'm exhausted from the ordeal. Is this a test? I've mentioned it. Then each time it's a new friend. That's one thing I noticed.
Just try to handle it as calm & diplomatic as possible. Reassurance is key. Jealousy does not work with these guys.
Sorry for the excessive "randoms" tired lol
click to expand
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No I don't but you grown you can do what you want.... Interpret that. Then once again I leave and come back and the same friend was in his ears relaying messages like he's testing me.
Him: cancer sun, Virgo moon, Gemini Venus