Help!! Should I give up on this fine cancer male??

ok I need help too!! Ok..first i want to say that this cancer male is really intimidated by me...WHY!!!
we hang out from time to time in groups and several of the guys think im a great looking girl. Im outgoing and very nice and very giving. Love to be social
but Why will this man not ask me out?? He knows i want him...i mean i dont fling myself on him but he knows cuz my girls told him and i told him the doors r open. Now he's great looking and a hard worker, great with children...which I have three...(yes i know that may be it) but mykids have a great relationship with their dad and i dont intend on making him be a dad to my kids. What Does it take to make him notice me? he was in a 6 yr relationship but that was 2 yrs ago or more...he's a great catch but sooo slow.....Shoul I just give up?
hoplessly infatuated

Why give up when all you have to do is take it a step farther and ask him out?

If not then maybe he's already in a relationship..

Yes, if he's interested he'll chase you... just don't go out with any of his friends.

hey TC, if you have a moment, could you answer my last question of the "fantasy" thread?

Didn't wanna bring the thread up again. My answer is sure. We videotaped once.

Did you review it later for reference? 🙂

Yeah, then we erased it.

Why? Did you do it wrong? 🙂 You should never throw something like that away.. you may need it later.

No, I told him to. Iiii don't like the idea of something like that just... there. LoL.

You should have read into what I just wrote.. how do you know he got rid of it?

We don't throw away anything of importance you know.

I made sure. Anyway, this thread is not about the crows and the wasps so back to the topic at hand! 🙂

So anyway, women should never chase men because when you catch him it will be only be because he thinks you are convenient.

It's birds and bees actually -- much nicer than your grim version 🙂

I don't get it, if the girl is into the guy and guy has no cojones to ask out girl, why cannot girl ask out guy? All you have here is a stalemate.. no one wins.

Who wants a man with no cojones? Go look pretty for a real man lol

Not you certainly.. we're all scared you know to ask out girls.. I think you used the word "chickeny"..

Come on, even a shy man will make the move. I just interpret 'nothing' as no interest, period.

Why scared? Didn't get that.

You're too stubborn and set in your ways. It has to be like "this" and thats the end of it, right? Perhaps we don't have all the information? Maybe there was something there..

All this is hypothetical really..

I'm not stubborn!

What do you mean all the info? Like you're moving slow because you don't know the girl well?

You're right TC, I agree with you 100% what was I thinking disagreeing? Your way is the only way. 🙂

The only person who can answer is the person who started the thread. I refuse to believe there was no effort or "nothing".

"Even if it takes you awhile, you'll eventually do it."

These were my thoughts. He would atleast show *some* interest.

Stop it SRG, I just speak in general.. in real life I use intuition, judgment and so forth.

notso07, I'd rather take my chances and ask and show interest than keep my mouth shut.

Stop it SRG, I just speak in general.. in real life I use intuition, judgment and so forth.

//I know what you're saying i'm just messing with you.. I never get tired of this little game we play you know.. 🙂//

//I know what you're saying i'm just messing with you.. I never get tired of this little game we play you know.. //

You really know how to creep me out sometimes SRGy...

I don't know about "eventually".. it depends but if I see an opportunity, I go for it.

Personally, I've always loved boxing.. it teaches alot of things indirectly it seems simple but it's actually really complex. You see an opening, you have to punch through it.. wait too long and you'll be on the receiving end. See, everything in life has parallels.

Like notso07 said... the problemmmm really is 'delusional' chics lol They chase a guy they swear loves 'em but has never really showed any substantial interest... ay ay ay ay

Now thats just a lie TC.. I don't creep you out. 😉

I think we're talking about guys who have gotten to know the chic, have a genuine interest in her but have not yet made a move.

"Now thats just a lie TC.. I don't creep you out."

You so seriously are, stop it!

"estoy de acuerdo, RP. ay ay ay..."

LoL 🙂

branh just made my life so much easier..

I'd rather just know what it means.

"Why would a guy ask a girl out who clearly isn't interested. The "have him chase you" is a bit of a catch-22 (excuse the pun). Many women try to do this by not looking interested at all. Most guys don't want to decipher cryptic signals, and he'll just move on. If you want the guy to ask your out, then why don't you at least look interested. And if you are really strong, just ask him out. I'm not sure why women make this shit so hard."

No one said not to look interested. I personally will not chase a man but I will of course show interest, I won't over-do-it, but just enough for him to catch on... if he does or he doesn't pursue is up to him.

"I'd rather just know what it means."

It means "I agree" 🙂

"This proves that you show interest by not showing interest. "Over doing it" probably isn't as extreme as you think it is. "Over doing it" is showing interest and letting him know you are interested. The "right" amount of interest is the de facto woman way of "showing interest". This means ultra hard to read signals that no one in 1 million years will ever ever pick up."

This proves you're delusional and might have been reading an uninterested woman too hard. By over doing it, I meant that I won't call him and text him a million times a day like I see other women doing. Nothing extreme. If I like him, I'll talk to him. If he asks me on a date, I'll go and we'll have a nice time... it doesn't get any simpler really.

If he shows interest then I do too, if he doesn't then I back off. It's kind of a mirroring effect... you don't want to overwhelm the other. Just let things flow. At some point things kick up a notch.

I agree with notso. I always wait for the guy to ask me out. It is trouble otherwise...it feels unnatural for the girl to be chasing the guy.

It's unnatural which is why women will come off as desperate most of the time.

Which in turn will have the guy take her for granted.

"Call me old-fashioned, but it is the man's job to initiate his interest. That's just nature, and you could even relate it to biology. Don't get me started..."

i'll bite. what're your arguments in terms of biology that the male "must" be the aggressor in the relationship? and how exactly does this transfer to a post womens-lib, civil rights era american society?

It may be unnatural for most but I wouldn't rule it out completely.

"...I'm not suggesting that the man do backflips to get the girl's attention. I'm just saying that he should make the first move..."

Exactly!

i have time

I have a feeling this debate actually will go on for days. We've opened up pandora's box here..

"It may be unnatural for most but I wouldn't rule it out completely."

-What I have in mind is when a girl keeps trying and the guy won't reciprocate. If the girl goes up to this guy and starts a conversation with him... ok, that's cool.. but if he doesn't ask for her number or even bothers to call her later on... calling him yourself...? eh, sounds like pursuing.

"The only species where the female does the courting are species where the male carries and gives birth to the young."

but the acts of one species does not directly correlate to another

-What I have in mind is when a girl keeps trying and the guy won't reciprocate. If the girl goes up to this guy and starts a conversation with him... ok, that's cool.. but if he doesn't ask for her number or even bothers to call her later on... calling him yourself...? eh, sounds like pursuing.

//It is pursuing and i'm saying it happens all the time.//

Okay, well how about sperm! They do all the swimming! lol Better? 😛