Help with a Cancer Man!

I'm so confused by my Cancer man. I have been dating him since June of this year. We are not "exclusive" but we have both agreed that we would not date other people or be intimate with others. So technically, yes, we are exclusive but we're not. We have gone on several small getaways and we see each other about once a week.

Anyway, he does the "typical" push and pull of the Cancer man and I've been patient with him. We spent a great time this week together hanging out and cuddling. Prior to this day he was texting me several times a day. The day after we hung out I didn't hear anything from him. Now it's been several days and still nothing. I got onto the dating site that he used to be on and after not having been on it since July, he suddenly was shown active again. I don't get it. Is this the way a Cancer man ends things--by just moving on without saying anything or is this just the typical cheating man or "grass is greener" move?

Any insight or help would be greatly appreciated.

Posted by Arietteheart
Just my limited experience with Cancers...if they are hesitant about putting a label on it, it's either because they have no intention of ever putting a label on it or something is making them apprehensive and they won't put a label on it until the issue is fixed.

Thank you. Yes, I agree that there has been something he's been apprehensive about. His response to me has always been "Time will tell." Well, time is certainly telling me a lot.

Posted by miha
why didn't you text him telling you miss him———————?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wasn't this the truth—

I finally did text him.

Posted by BlackIndian22
You should call him & state your concerns. You won't get anywhere by doing that texting stuff. At least on the phone you can tell if he into you or not. I say go by his actions towards you. If you don't like them or feel right by them, who says you gotta put up with it. I wouldn't say all Cancer man behave like him. I think it's just him. Maybe because you guys aren't in a relationship. I say tell him this is bothering you, & you want to be with him. Set up a dinner date, & just tell him what worries you. If he don't feel the same way, his actions will definitely show it. Now cheer up, & go enjoy your saturday. Drink some tea with lemon & relax lol. It'll be ok 🙂

You're right, texting has been the downfall of our relationship. Thank you for reminding me that I shouldn't put up with it if I don't want to. I'm such a fighter and don't like giving up on things, but I need to learn to let go when the writing is on the wall. I have given it to God and know that he will guide me in the right path. Thanks Again!

Who decided that you two shouldn't be exclusive? Were you the one to bring it up or was he? And what was the reasoning for this?

Posted by Scenic
Who decided that you two shouldn't be exclusive? Were you the one to bring it up or was he? And what was the reasoning for this?

We discussed it in the beginning because we both have such busy--I mean 14 hour days--schedules that don't allow for a lot of time to be together.

Posted by miha

Posted by sweetlibra34
We are not "exclusive" but we have both agreed that we would not date other people or be intimate with others.

GOD!!! EVEN CLEAR WORDS/TERMS HAVE BEEN CORRUPTED....we are not exclusive, but we are....wtf is this—!!!

i would say you/he/both play around....

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I agree, it is a horrible way to corrupt the word. I'm starting to think that he plays around 😢

Posted by Sugarfoot
He'll pop back up as if nothing ever happened. Smh.

Save yourself the trouble and get out now. Who needs the headache?

You're absolutely right. Every time something has happened, he never apologizes. He stays quiet and then "pops back up as if nothing ever happened." It is so frustrating.

Trust me, I've got one foot out the door and know that it should be closed. I have a hard time with letting things go--even when I can clearly see what I should do. *Sigh* So frustrating...

Posted by Arietteheart

Posted by sweetlibra34

Posted by Sugarfoot
He'll pop back up as if nothing ever happened. Smh.

Save yourself the trouble and get out now. Who needs the headache?

You're absolutely right. Every time something has happened, he never apologizes. He stays quiet and then "pops back up as if nothing ever happened." It is so frustrating.

Trust me, I've got one foot out the door and know that it should be closed. I have a hard time with letting things go--even when I can clearly see what I should do. *Sigh* So frustrating...

You asked if this is how they make their exit. It can be. If he is on a dating site, he may be looking for someone else before he ends things with you. Just a possibility. Some of them don't like to let go until they have a sure thing to fall back on.

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Ugh...I hate games! I think I just need to be done with it.

I know this is fast, but a quick update. I ended it with him. If I have this many questions that I need to ask others for support/advice, it's not worth my time. Thank you all for your feedback.

Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by sweetlibra34
I know this is fast, but a quick update. I ended it with him. If I have this many questions that I need to ask others for support/advice, it's not worth my time. Thank you all for your feedback.

Good for you. Thumbs up.

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Another Libra soul saved from the pinchers of the Crab!!!! Been there, still licking my wounds.

Posted by sweetlibra34
I know this is fast, but a quick update. I ended it with him. If I have this many questions that I need to ask others for support/advice, it's not worth my time. Thank you all for your feedback.

This is a very healthy choice you are making. I am glad you've taken the step to protect yourself. You deserve better.

Thanks everybody. At the end of the day he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He's a great person and I like him very much, but I need to like myself more. He did try to talk to me like nothing had happened--fall into his regular charms. I responded kindly but didn't let it go further. I'm sure he'll be back around though.