help with shy cancer guy!

How to Attract and Keep a Shy Cancer Man Interested

Cancer men are slow to open up and prefer gentle, genuine gestures. To keep his interest, show consistent kindness, avoid pushing him too hard, and give him space to feel comfortable. Express your feelings subtly and let him initiate plans. Patience and understanding are key to building trust and a lasting connection.

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roxyfalcon2006
@roxyfalcon2006
15 YearsVirgo

Comments: 0 · Posts: 325 · Topics: 35
I'm a Virgo/Aries rising and am usually quite shy when it comes to matters of the heart. I'm terrified of rejection (that Aries side of me just can't take the blow to my ego). I'm usually attracted to shy guys and it never goes anywhere because neither of us ever makes a move. I just met this guy on a cruise this past week and I'm head over heals. I'm usually never like this, maybe it was the excitement of being on a ship together and having to ACTUALLY get to know eachother without facebook and everything.. who knows. But this guy is such a typical Cancer, so shy and sweet, loves his mother, SUCH a gentleman, very respectful (all we did was kiss twice when he walked me to my room the last 2 nights). His friend who was with him said he's very shy and hasn't been in a relationship in about a year. (we??re both in our early 20s) We only live 3 hours apart and he said we should meet up after the cruise. This guy immediately added me on Facebook after we got off the ship (he must have found me on it while at the airport!) which I thought was a good sign since he's so shy. I was talking to his friend who said I should send him a message since his friend was so shy. So I thought of something cute and witty and he responded with a hell yes, that I could stay with him too. He later messaged me first asking what I??d like to do and that he??d plan something for us, i thought it was really cute. His friend told me that he said later on he regretted not making a move on me while he had the chance on our cruise. I already have such strong feelings for him and I feel like a mad woman.. haha

Now, my question for you all is.. I know that Cancer men are very slow and cautious in relationships, and I am wondering if you??d think he??d start one with me even though we live 3 hours away from each other across the border of US and Canada. I'm seeing him in 2 weeks so I hope it goes well, he seemed eager to see me again. but UGH it's driving me crazy! What should I do to keep him interested—

I've been told Cancer men don't want to be pushed or to feel like we're being pushy or anything like that, but it seems like I'm going to have to do most of the initiating.. how do I do that without making him think I'm pushy?

Don't know his birth time so whichever signs depend on that might not be right:

Sun: Cancer
Moon: Pisces
Mercury: Leo
Venus: Leo
Mars: Capricorn
Jupiter: Pisces
Saturn: Sagittarius
Uranus: Sagittarius
Neptune: Capricor
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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 521
1. Ugh! Don't you just love it when 1 guy can leave you absolutely speechless?! (in a good way)

2. What should you do to keep him interested? Just be yourself. You have good traist & bad traits, but guess what? So does he. And a part of growing a friendship/relationship with someone is in not trying to immediately hide who you are in terms of negative traits b/c when you do that, you strip the other person of being able to make an informed decision on whether or not to date you. In other words, if you strip a person of fully being able to know/see who/what they're getting themselves into, you're screwed if they actually fall in love b/c they'd be falling in love with only 50% of you, or perhaps even the person you're pretending to be. Just be yourself, give him some credit & HOPE that he'll like the "WHOLE PACKAGE" that you are.

3. Yes, Cancer men have been known to take things very slow, but moreso b/c going at such slow paces allows them to protect themselves. It gives them a way out or other options just in case things start going sour. Almost like they stall & wait until the last minute to fully give in and/or submit to someone b/c they know that once they're in, they're ALL the way in & in for good =) Cancer men mentally go at a very fast pace, BUT they'd never want YOU to know that; they're good at giving off the impression that they've slowed their roll, not b/c they wanted to but b/c they TOO fear rejection or looking like the overly clingy/impulsive one!

4. He's shy, so it's ok that you might have to make the 1st move the 1st couple of times. BUT, after a while, I'm hoping that he'll learn that he's gonna have to put in some work too. Just b/c he's shy doesn't mean he's exempt from having to earn you, court you, and/or show you why he deserves you & all that you offer. Even shy men have to do what they've gotta do in order to make sure that a good 1 doesn't get away.

And if he's letting good women get away, that's a huge problem b/c it shows that he has either intimacy issues or insecurities, all of which are NOT healthy components to a relationship (especially not a new one).

The good thing about shy guys is that when you give them a little push, they eventually open up & finally don't mind doing their part and/or chasing you. If he'd be an idiot for letting a good thing get away, then so would you! So I say go for it!
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roxyfalcon2006
@roxyfalcon2006
15 YearsVirgo

Comments: 0 · Posts: 325 · Topics: 35
Thank you both for your comments! Yes I am super shy so a guy I like who is also shy is very frustrating! I try to be myself but I honestly don't really know what "myself" is.. I act differently in different situations. I know they go slow to protect themselves..I just wish there was some way I could tell him I'M NOT GOING TO REJECT YOU so don't go so damn slow.. lol. I met him on a cruise and I do truly barely know him, I don't know anything about his past relationships or stuff like that so I really have nothing to go by here.. frustrating!

About the truenode/moon thing, that's very interesting, how do I look up more about this??
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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 521
Well it's about time you both start opening up your mouths a little & start talking. Ya know, getting to know eachother.

If you have questions about his past or about whatever, just ask. You'd be surprised at how honest & forth-coming even shy guys can be when they see that someone had the balls to ask. If anything, they'll respect you more. And most likely, they'll take you even inquiring at all about them to mean that you must be into them. So asking him questions about himself period is already a way to show him better than you can tell him that you're into him.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I'd STRONGLY encourage you to find out who you are & what "Being yourself" means before you jump into anything serious with this guy OR with anyone period. That way you won't feel so torn/confused,have to be so "rehearsed" or exactly the kind of girl you THINK a man would like, in order to fell good about the friendship/relationship.

Just be yourself. Say what you mean & mean what you say. When you're mad, be mad. When you're happy, be happy. When you're curious about something, ask questions. When you feel yourself attaching, be open with him & start showing him that you have what it takes to effectively communicate. =)
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ninjamu
@ninjamu
16 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2999 · Topics: 75
His chart and your chart have very similar placements to mine and my cancer's.

Just go with the flow. Just try to be friends with him without the pressures of dating. Take the time to get to know each other. It's better in the beginning if you're preoccupied with something or someone else. Later on if he decides that he wants more he will let it be known.

The only concern I have is both of your Leo in venus placement. That's what my cancer and i both share as well. Physical closeness and regular affection is very important for us when we're in love.
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VirgoVixxxen
@VirgoVixxxen
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 4949 · Topics: 70
Hi roxy!

I too am a Virgo sun/Aries rising who WAS in a similar situaton with a shy Cancer man at one point. Ha! Reading your story was like reading my own...eerie...

Sounds like you guys are off to a good start and I would definitely talk to him and try to learn more about his past and future expectations, etc., to gain better understanding on how the two of you can fit into eachother's worlds.

I know that you don't want things to move along too slow and I get that, but at the same time, it's kind of good to let things progress naturally. This way you'll have more time to savour one another and build a REAL foundation. If you seriously want something more with this guy than just a fleeting connection (which is pretty much impossible for a Cancer/Virgo duo)I would advise that you just take your time and get to know him little by little, and keep in mind that Cancer men generally don't like women that are too easy and he'll definitely respect and appreciate you more if you don't rush him into anything. Good luck and maybe at some point you can stop by the Virgo board and chat it up with a poster by the name of "LostinmyMind11" who is also a Virgo woman dealing with a Cancer man and hopefully get some more insight.
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roxyfalcon2006
@roxyfalcon2006
15 YearsVirgo

Comments: 0 · Posts: 325 · Topics: 35
virgovixxxen, thanks for your insight. i'm sure you can relate about how annoying it is to have to wait! still no contact since wednesday... should i be worried or is this normal?? I'm moving to California in August but I would still love to have a relationship with him.. i don't care if its long distance. of course i meet someone i really like right after i decide to move 2,000 miles away! I will check out that virgo forum.. can you send me a link? thanks!!
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VirgoVixxxen
@VirgoVixxxen
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 4949 · Topics: 70
Posted by roxyfalcon2006
virgovixxxen, thanks for your insight. i'm sure you can relate about how annoying it is to have to wait! still no contact since wednesday... should i be worried or is this normal?? I'm moving to California in August but I would still love to have a relationship with him.. i don't care if its long distance. of course i meet someone i really like right after i decide to move 2,000 miles away! I will check out that virgo forum.. can you send me a link? thanks!!



You're welcome rox. 😉

The poster I mentioned ("Lostinmymind11") posted in this thread so just follow her instructions, and no, don't be worried. This is normal for many Cancer men. They can move like snails. Just take a deep breath and rest assured that he will contact you soon. Good luck and hopefully we'll see you around the Virgo board.